Ditto: a bit dark. But not as dark as me not being able to watch "Zone of Interest" on Amazon Prime (Japan) with English subtitles! (Life has turned to shit everywhere, man!)
Hegseth would say "warfighter" a lot, but other than that spot on Roy. What's next, are they going to accidentally loop in a reporter from Vanity Fair when they're chatting about the plan to invade Canada?
I'm always the last to hear about things. I'll probably see the mushroom cloud on the way to work, right before the blast wave hits I'll have time for just one thought, "Coulda slept in this morning."
Executive Order #28765: Immediately upon publication of this notice, all H bombs will be renamed X bombs. And have a big "X" painted on the side. With lightning bolts too.
Last summer we'd planned to drive to Nova Scotia and take the ferry to Newfoundland only my husband got sick, so we had to cancel. Later he discovered a cruise that promises even better opportunities for sub-Arctic birding without all the driving, so we'll set sail in May (geopolitical crises permitting). How do I signal to the good people of Canada, Greenland (we stop in two ports, including Nuuk), and Iceland that we're not THAT kind of American? I've already purchased buttons with a red slash through a swastika.
A modest list of seldomdowells who somehow got entwined in my emailosphere. If I'da had a licka sense 5 years ago I woulda stacked 'em, tho a few woulda probly taken a pass on a newfangled thing like that.
Not sure what the problem is with Andy Borowitz. To me he’s often funny, but I’m sure there are deep reasons for it that my Dunning Krugered brain can’t wrap itself around.
"The Greenlandic fishing fleet has invaded the waters off New England, ruining the purity of our piscatorial essence. Mr. President, we cannot allow a codfish gap!"
As I recall, that B-52 crash was the result of a cushion accidentally covering a heating vent. Fire ensued, smoke filled the plane, everybody bailed out. At least one nuke was buried in the ice and never found...might be two.
And there's also a modular nuclear reactor the Army was trying out in the 1950s. It's still under the ice as well. If the Greenlanders do a little ice mining they can be the newest nuclear power on the block. Can't launch 'em, but if they get invaded, well, for you we have the grand surprise...
Tee hee. Operation Chrome Dome. Poor bastards had to fly 24 hour-plus shifts. As Major 'King' Kong noted..."pep pills". Oh yeah, they had dextroamphetamine, they just didn't advertise it at the time.
Hey, if you're gonna go all Tom Clancy, ya gotta work in the Technology! I suggest our hot new fighter jet, the F-47, that Boeing is building for us on Trump's demand. Sure, the F-35 is less than ten years old, and that's not so old by fighter jet standards today, but Elon doesn't like it because it's not a drone, and drones are TEH FUTURE, but Tubby wants the F designation so we can say F-47 and you don't get an F unless it's a manned aircraft, so it's manned like the F-35 but it's replacing the F-35 because the F-35 is manned and not a drone.
Wasn't getting the Soviets to spend an absurd amount of money on their military until their economy collapsed the way R. W. Reagan "won" the Cold War? Asking for no reason...
This one's stealth, which the F-35 is too, but this one's MORE. Next, Nigel Tufnel explains there's a knob of the dashboard so you can turn the stealth up to 11.
That depends on our assumptions. The F-47 has a minimum cost of $300 million per unit. If our cancer researcher makes $300,000 per year, each F-47 costs a minimum of 1,000 years worth of cancer researchers
I have made note of your use of the Dark Art of Arithmetic and will be forwarding this to the proper authorities. Pack your bags, I hope you like prison pupusas.
OH, you got PUPUSAS. WE got PB&J without the BJ!! And milk...?!?! HA! The only milk WE got was from whatever female rats we could trap in the cell!!! Oh the cramps we got from tryna pinch those little bumps!!
(When the Curtiss SB2C Helldiver replaced the Douglass SBD Dauntless as the primary dive bomber in the Pacific Theater pilots found it so difficult to fly they nicknamed it "Son-Of-A-Bitch Second Class". )
Funny and dark and possibly even prescient! And "big, beautiful nuclear weapons" -- you know for a certainty that's exactly what Trump will call them, especially when he sees just how powerful they are compared to the illustrations in "My Little Golden Book of Nukes" that Stephen Miller showed him.
I thought your title was a hat tip to George Booth but now I'm not so sure. Love it either way.
Well, crap. The second and third times I read this were progressively better and best. The missus just told me "Give the man his marks and be done with it!"
This is the Everything Everywhere All At Once of REBIDS. I laffed, I cried (although I didn't cry), I felt all human emotions. Extra credit for "this guy."
Also, DEI. Though Herriman's origins weren't known in his time, and it seems he self-identified as white. But the modern biographers find sad details of "wearing a hat to hide his hair," and saying he "dreamed of being reborn a Navajo."
The wastage starts with paying to bring her back.
You think Hegseth knows big words like “circumscribed”? You’re a better person than me, for sure.
The trick is to pronounce it like Foster Brooks -- "sher-cam-shcribedddddd."
A blast from the past!
"With NATO, we were circumcised, but now we're bigger, longer, uncut!"
Tell me he wouldn't say "circumcised". TELL me.
MASOCHIST: Beat me! Beat me!
SADIST: No...
He has a fine line of gab.
The man has "written" FIVE BOOKS.
An old air-traffic-controller joke my dad used to tell:
Pilot to controller: We encountered a thunderstorm...
Controller: Is it possible to circumnavigate?
Pilot: I don't know, we flew around it
"the Chinese came to this island, had relations with dogs"
WHHOOOO'ZZZ a GOOD BOYYYYY?!?!?!?
Am I the only one admiring precisely how far ahead of the geopolitical Trumpazoidal curve Roy manages to stay?
Man, that is not easy given the firehose of craziness that comes everyday
Yeah, stuff this crazy won't be happening for WEEKS.
Well, that's dark: but entirely called for: and Usha becoming the Jenkin's Ear of the Glorious War for Greenland is genius.
Thank you. “Dark” was my thought exactly. As in, “Damn, and I thought my stuff was dark here lately.”
Ditto: a bit dark. But not as dark as me not being able to watch "Zone of Interest" on Amazon Prime (Japan) with English subtitles! (Life has turned to shit everywhere, man!)
Brutal.
"I don't know what letter we're up to" LOL!
Hegseth would say "warfighter" a lot, but other than that spot on Roy. What's next, are they going to accidentally loop in a reporter from Vanity Fair when they're chatting about the plan to invade Canada?
The entire Incompetents League would be in on it! AKA The Loopers-Inners:
Michael Waltz
Alex Wong
Marco Rubio
Mike Needham
JD Vance
Andy Baker
Tulsi Gabbard
Joe Kent
Scott Bessent
Dan Katz
Pete Hegseth
Dan Caldwell
Brian McCormack
John Ratcliffe
Unnamed CIA officer
Steve Witkoff
Susie Wiles
Stephen Miller
Let them be proclaimed far and wide!
I misread that last line as “Let them be PROSECUTED far and wide” and was thinking, “Yeah, in your dreams.”
The only one I see facing any sort of legal jeopardy is the Atlantic guy.
Soon to be labeled (and thus cancelled) as The Trans Atlantic Guy.
Oof?
Fair...
Dang, I didn't think of that. Blame Goldberg (it doesn't have to make sense) to shift the focus.
Once Goldberg's the bad guy, we'll say "you shouldn't add bad guys to the chat either," but that won't work.
That'd eliminate the entire Cabinet!
1. Spread antisemitic conspiracy theories because GOLDBERG, amirite?
2. Demand Columbia fire its whole Middle Eastern Studies department to combat the alarming rise in antisemitism.
That's it. Some deep-state holdover they haven't fired yet added
Goldberg to the chat .
3. Hire Bari Weiss to head the whole Middle Eastern Studies department
4.,Rename to Middlebrow Studies Department
Pentagon Papers II: Dig Up Daniel Ellsberg So We Can Successfully Throw Him In Jail This Time Boogaloo
The powers that be would probably spell his name Godlberg so he would not be found guilty
Big list!
The biggest!
Imagine how many people would NOT be linked in just before WW3 starts. I mean, it'd be DOZENS!
I'm always the last to hear about things. I'll probably see the mushroom cloud on the way to work, right before the blast wave hits I'll have time for just one thought, "Coulda slept in this morning."
And now you'll sleep with the fission!
Oof.
I really regret that one.*
*Well, maybe a little, anyway.**
**Nah.
Meanwhile, somebody from Foreign Affairs got the master plan for Ivanka to breach next year's Met Gala.
Executive Order #28765: Immediately upon publication of this notice, all H bombs will be renamed X bombs. And have a big "X" painted on the side. With lightning bolts too.
Rad.
needs Rad-X if your playing Fallout 4
In that case, I want Elon to ride one down, Slim Pickens style. It’s the least he could do for the war.
Wavin' that goddam hat...
The black MAGA?
My partner's band does a version of Black Magic Woman: I've got a black MAGA hat on...
Got a black MAGA woman
Got a black MAGA woman
I've got a black MAGA woman
Got Trump so blind he can't see
That she's a black MAGA woman
She's tryin' to make a devil out of him
Waving his hair plugs?
Plugging his wavy hair?
With lightning bolts that look like Schutz Staffel insignia too.
Just in case any of his fans miss what was implied above.
Last summer we'd planned to drive to Nova Scotia and take the ferry to Newfoundland only my husband got sick, so we had to cancel. Later he discovered a cruise that promises even better opportunities for sub-Arctic birding without all the driving, so we'll set sail in May (geopolitical crises permitting). How do I signal to the good people of Canada, Greenland (we stop in two ports, including Nuuk), and Iceland that we're not THAT kind of American? I've already purchased buttons with a red slash through a swastika.
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/greenland-appoints-special-envoy#poll-292512
I share the general snobbishness about Borowitz but I must say that's funny
Exactly. The first AB post in, like, forever that I've shared to my long-suffering followers.
FOLLOWERS?
A modest list of seldomdowells who somehow got entwined in my emailosphere. If I'da had a licka sense 5 years ago I woulda stacked 'em, tho a few woulda probly taken a pass on a newfangled thing like that.
Not sure what the problem is with Andy Borowitz. To me he’s often funny, but I’m sure there are deep reasons for it that my Dunning Krugered brain can’t wrap itself around.
Andy, like Paul Krugman, has uncovered a dark, funny side he didn’t used to show.
With regard to the serious problem of Greenland, there are many Trump administration officials we need to bring to bear.
Polar or Grizzly specifically
I was thinking more along the lines of multiple bears so the line moves quicker...so, you know, bi-polar...
Bi-Polar bear, you say?
https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/lgbt-characters/images/4/4d/Bipolar_Bear.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20180215203735
Your button is my fave. Bigger the better, of course, unless it gets so big it interferes with eating and drinking...
Having been traveling through South East Asia for a couple of months, I’d say don’t wear a MAGA hat and you’ll be fine. We’re pitied more than feared.
Pity is a weapon we should aim at His Magasty early and often.
Maple Leaf on the backpack
Roy needs to write a big , international thriller. Think Ludlum or Uris, but not sucky.
The Couchfucker Conundrum
That's just...
"The Greenlandic fishing fleet has invaded the waters off New England, ruining the purity of our piscatorial essence. Mr. President, we cannot allow a codfish gap!"
Too late.
Bear in mind there is a thermonuclear weapon buried in the ice around Thule. Just sayin'.
Hey, we can't be expected to keep track of ALL of the damn things.
As I recall, that B-52 crash was the result of a cushion accidentally covering a heating vent. Fire ensued, smoke filled the plane, everybody bailed out. At least one nuke was buried in the ice and never found...might be two.
And there's also a modular nuclear reactor the Army was trying out in the 1950s. It's still under the ice as well. If the Greenlanders do a little ice mining they can be the newest nuclear power on the block. Can't launch 'em, but if they get invaded, well, for you we have the grand surprise...
RADIOACTIVE POLAR BEARS.
Take that Sharknado!
Bearnukem
Trained Kamikaze Seals
It writes itself!
The guys tried hard, but you get the 2 marks.
skiing Yetis (a remnant from an old D&D campaign)
You get those puppies on ice skates and you gotta deal!
I don't know are ice skates simple tools? They work on the Clausius-Clapeyron equation principle
It has probably been destroyed just like our old base Camp Century
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camp_Century
Cthulhu fhtagn!
He won't eat me, no not yet
He's our Lord so dank and wet
Iä! Iä!
That's a hell of a story. https://earthsky.org/earth/thule-jan1968-us-bomber-crash-greenland/
'68 was a crazy year, man
Tee hee. Operation Chrome Dome. Poor bastards had to fly 24 hour-plus shifts. As Major 'King' Kong noted..."pep pills". Oh yeah, they had dextroamphetamine, they just didn't advertise it at the time.
Yeah, my 7th birthday party was lit.
By birthday candles on the cake
It's my job, Boss. I AM the Librarian, after all.
I hope they make/made Usha sleep at the embassy.
It was either that or the quonset hut.
Hey, if you're gonna go all Tom Clancy, ya gotta work in the Technology! I suggest our hot new fighter jet, the F-47, that Boeing is building for us on Trump's demand. Sure, the F-35 is less than ten years old, and that's not so old by fighter jet standards today, but Elon doesn't like it because it's not a drone, and drones are TEH FUTURE, but Tubby wants the F designation so we can say F-47 and you don't get an F unless it's a manned aircraft, so it's manned like the F-35 but it's replacing the F-35 because the F-35 is manned and not a drone.
Actual quote from Pete Hegseth, BAC not available at press time:
The new fighter jet, he said, "sends a very clear, direct message to our allies that we're not going anywhere."
https://www.npr.org/2025/03/22/nx-s1-5337416/trump-f47-fighter-jet-boeing
Like GM trying to market a car in Latin America with the name No Va.
Urban legend, that one, easily refuted with a little due diligence.
Mine didn't go, so there's a data point for ya.
Just a little tow VA would make your no VA go VA.
Fortunately, I did not live anywhere near Virginia at the time – the tow charge woulda been BRUTAL (which is apparently my word of the day.)
I don't do diligence. All my diligence is past due.
Are you actually Steve Bannon?
Wasn't getting the Soviets to spend an absurd amount of money on their military until their economy collapsed the way R. W. Reagan "won" the Cold War? Asking for no reason...
This one's stealth, which the F-35 is too, but this one's MORE. Next, Nigel Tufnel explains there's a knob of the dashboard so you can turn the stealth up to 11.
How many cancer researchers do you have to fire to pay for one F-47?
Cancer research attracts the DEI.
That depends on our assumptions. The F-47 has a minimum cost of $300 million per unit. If our cancer researcher makes $300,000 per year, each F-47 costs a minimum of 1,000 years worth of cancer researchers
I have made note of your use of the Dark Art of Arithmetic and will be forwarding this to the proper authorities. Pack your bags, I hope you like prison pupusas.
OH, you got PUPUSAS. WE got PB&J without the BJ!! And milk...?!?! HA! The only milk WE got was from whatever female rats we could trap in the cell!!! Oh the cramps we got from tryna pinch those little bumps!!
Because I am who I am the first thing I thought of was "Why are they trying to bring back the Thunderbolt? Isn't that a propeller plane?" https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smithsonian-institution/why-p-47-thunderbolt-world-war-ii-beast-airways-ruled-skies-180976316/
This new one's named after Tubby, so maybe pilots will nickname it The Jug.
The F-N Joker
(When the Curtiss SB2C Helldiver replaced the Douglass SBD Dauntless as the primary dive bomber in the Pacific Theater pilots found it so difficult to fly they nicknamed it "Son-Of-A-Bitch Second Class". )
My favorite nickname for an airplane is "Fork-Tailed Doctor Killer", for the Beech Bonanza when it was in the v-tail configuration.
Funny and dark and possibly even prescient! And "big, beautiful nuclear weapons" -- you know for a certainty that's exactly what Trump will call them, especially when he sees just how powerful they are compared to the illustrations in "My Little Golden Book of Nukes" that Stephen Miller showed him.
I thought your title was a hat tip to George Booth but now I'm not so sure. Love it either way.
Ossa Ips remains one of my all-time faves.
Marisa Kabas is great. But all these details... Are we sure there wasn't another journalist looped in, name of Roy Edroso?
OK, invasion of Greenland to be done deal. But will this one really play to the rubes? The late Usha was not exactly a blonde.
You go to war with the wife you've got, not with the wife you'd like to have.
Well, crap. The second and third times I read this were progressively better and best. The missus just told me "Give the man his marks and be done with it!"
So there ya go.
This is the Everything Everywhere All At Once of REBIDS. I laffed, I cried (although I didn't cry), I felt all human emotions. Extra credit for "this guy."
more extra credit for Uma.
Those Matyo dresses are cool.
And suitable to the new plan for the ladies.
Kinder, Küche, Kirche, Kreuzstich.
KRAZY KAT!
VERBOTEN!
Forbidden love with Ignatz includes characters of unknown or fluid genders.
Also, DEI. Though Herriman's origins weren't known in his time, and it seems he self-identified as white. But the modern biographers find sad details of "wearing a hat to hide his hair," and saying he "dreamed of being reborn a Navajo."
Greetings, fellow Krazy Kat fan!
Tough crowd.
As Republican Jesus expects of them.