45 Comments
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Wow. Really nailed the deep down fecalness of Disgusting Donnie.

The relative break from the Trump pieces and vacay from Twitter seems to have done Roy some good.

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

My God, he's turning into Jonah Goldberg!

Expand full comment

Wow. That’s very mean, maybe hurtful.

I know you don’t mean it like that so maybe try to rewrite it.

Expand full comment

Should I clarify "he" is Donald J. Trump? It's a fart joke.

Expand full comment
author

Maybe he eated him

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I agree, “trying to console himself” is too much of a complex concept and too recognizable as part of an actual phrase in the English language to have been written by Trump himself.

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

The thing about Christie is that he's always been not just a willing dupe but an eager dupe. Even when he was picked by Bush to be a US attorney, Christie was an eager dupe for the people who were promoting him--several of whom ended up being indicted by the NEXT US attorney when Christie became governor.

But I guess boundless ambition decoupled from anything recognizable as principles will do that for you.

Expand full comment

Christie became governor of NJ because he refused to prosecute George Norcross, S Jersey insurance magnate & Democratic party boss, for his obvious & massive grift & corruption. They had him dead to rights too, or so I hear. Norcross made sure he got the votes. Oh, & Norcross' brother Donald is currently our useless fucking Congress-type.

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Oh, New Jersey, don't ever change.

Expand full comment

I like the not-going-anywhere bleakness of this one.

Expand full comment

could be a couple of bindlestiffs down at the railroad encampment.

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Forgot to mention hearted for 'bindlestiffs' which obviously needs to be used earlier and oftener.

Expand full comment
author

Estragon (giving up again): Nothing to be done.

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Waiting for the Dessert Cart

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

“An Existential Exploration of the Futility of Life and the Consolation of Carbs”

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Carbs don't need no consolation!

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Since they've been largely replaced by fuel injection, they're definitely feeling past their prime.

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Carbs vs. Crabs, Or, A1C vs STD

Expand full comment

Estragon: Use your intelligence, can't you?

Trump uses his intelligence.

Trump : (finally) I remain in the dark.

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

He's more in the habit of using OUR intelligence, to collect the classified docs he sells to the Russians.

Expand full comment

I been on Estragon since January...

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Oof.

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022·edited Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

You've captured the true essence of these two. Trump is an evil pig, but I have zero sympathy for Christie. Besides the deadly GW bridge fiasco and his private beach pix, two Christie things come to mind: the times he got caught spending tens of thousands of NJ taxpayers' money to be flown in helicopters to his kid's Little League games, and then driven in limos for the last 100 yards of the ride. And how he supposedly advised Trump to keep interrupting Biden during the presidential debate as a strategy to make him stutter.

Just the guy you want to see on ABC commenting on the news.

Expand full comment

Trying desperately to construct a joke or a parody title for “The Boys Are Back in Town”using Thick Lizzie and the respective girths of Cheetolini and Gov. Crispie Creem, but maybe it’s just as well, since I don’t want to indulge in body shaming (or do I? Hmmmm).

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"You and I have a tendency towards corpulence. Corpulence makes a man reasonable, pleasant and phlegmatic. Have you noticed the nastiest of tyrants are invariably thin?"

From Lies the Movies Told Me.

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

As to body shaming and rule, John Kenneth Galbraith, who was taller than many basketball players, related an exchange he’d had as it were eye-to-eye with Charles De Gaulle at a diplomatic function in Washington. The two men self-servingly agreed that tall individuals, by virtue of “standing out from the crowd,” were more closely watched, were for this reason more conscientious in their conduct, and were accordingly and properly afforded greater trust. De Gaulle added, “It is important that we be merciless with the short.”

Expand full comment

Also easier to go for a head shot.

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"Let me have men about me that are fat; sleek-headed men and such as sleep o'nights: Yond Stephen Miller has a lean and hungry look; he thinks too much, such men are dangerous."

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

James Corden had a line about Bill Maher, something like, "Sorry, we don't all have an ego that can burn two thousand calories a day".

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Carry on, carry on...

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Trump ridiculing a fat guy? Talk about calling the kettle black.

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

What was that posted on, Truth Social? LOL

Expand full comment
author

Yeah, see the link.

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Take me seriously, not literally.

<Mwah!>

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I hear Trump shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

Expand full comment

Maybe not shot. Recall the line in In the Loop: Peter Capaldi's Malcolm Tucker is jousting with Gandolfini's army general.

TUCKER: Have you ever killed someone? And falling asleep on them doesn't count.

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I like how these guys freely insult each other, just like real slobs, and react relatively mildly when it comes back. You don’t want to seem like you can’t take it like a Man.

Of course you can tell who has more power by who issues the worst jibes.

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Christie had some more ammo: Burnt steak and ketchup; McD's fot national sports champions.

Expand full comment

This has the feral authenticity of two animals at the watering hole, where each one knows exactly what the pecking order is.

Expand full comment
author

Good, that's what I thought, too.

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Sadly seems accurate. I would've said it's why Christie is a fat slob though. Jersey is a fat slob state.

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Why didn't Christie bring-up Trump's public fast-food intake, which (as always) I claim conSOLEs his voters by telling them that there's nobody better'n than they, an _honest_ guy with a 'billion' dollars would still eat crap, like porn 'stars', and just behave generally as badly as they'd _like_ to do…no interest in art or words or maths or science or other people, just another hog in a shinier pen.

Expand full comment
Sep 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Also, Trump is nearly as fat as Christie

Expand full comment

I want that to be a real tweet.

Expand full comment