45 Comments

Wow. Really nailed the deep down fecalness of Disgusting Donnie.

The relative break from the Trump pieces and vacay from Twitter seems to have done Roy some good.

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My God, he's turning into Jonah Goldberg!

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Wow. That’s very mean, maybe hurtful.

I know you don’t mean it like that so maybe try to rewrite it.

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Should I clarify "he" is Donald J. Trump? It's a fart joke.

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Maybe he eated him

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I agree, “trying to console himself” is too much of a complex concept and too recognizable as part of an actual phrase in the English language to have been written by Trump himself.

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The thing about Christie is that he's always been not just a willing dupe but an eager dupe. Even when he was picked by Bush to be a US attorney, Christie was an eager dupe for the people who were promoting him--several of whom ended up being indicted by the NEXT US attorney when Christie became governor.

But I guess boundless ambition decoupled from anything recognizable as principles will do that for you.

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Christie became governor of NJ because he refused to prosecute George Norcross, S Jersey insurance magnate & Democratic party boss, for his obvious & massive grift & corruption. They had him dead to rights too, or so I hear. Norcross made sure he got the votes. Oh, & Norcross' brother Donald is currently our useless fucking Congress-type.

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Oh, New Jersey, don't ever change.

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I like the not-going-anywhere bleakness of this one.

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could be a couple of bindlestiffs down at the railroad encampment.

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Forgot to mention hearted for 'bindlestiffs' which obviously needs to be used earlier and oftener.

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Estragon (giving up again): Nothing to be done.

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Waiting for the Dessert Cart

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“An Existential Exploration of the Futility of Life and the Consolation of Carbs”

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Carbs don't need no consolation!

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Since they've been largely replaced by fuel injection, they're definitely feeling past their prime.

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Carbs vs. Crabs, Or, A1C vs STD

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Estragon: Use your intelligence, can't you?

Trump uses his intelligence.

Trump : (finally) I remain in the dark.

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He's more in the habit of using OUR intelligence, to collect the classified docs he sells to the Russians.

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I been on Estragon since January...

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Oof.

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You've captured the true essence of these two. Trump is an evil pig, but I have zero sympathy for Christie. Besides the deadly GW bridge fiasco and his private beach pix, two Christie things come to mind: the times he got caught spending tens of thousands of NJ taxpayers' money to be flown in helicopters to his kid's Little League games, and then driven in limos for the last 100 yards of the ride. And how he supposedly advised Trump to keep interrupting Biden during the presidential debate as a strategy to make him stutter.

Just the guy you want to see on ABC commenting on the news.

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Trying desperately to construct a joke or a parody title for “The Boys Are Back in Town”using Thick Lizzie and the respective girths of Cheetolini and Gov. Crispie Creem, but maybe it’s just as well, since I don’t want to indulge in body shaming (or do I? Hmmmm).

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"You and I have a tendency towards corpulence. Corpulence makes a man reasonable, pleasant and phlegmatic. Have you noticed the nastiest of tyrants are invariably thin?"

From Lies the Movies Told Me.

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As to body shaming and rule, John Kenneth Galbraith, who was taller than many basketball players, related an exchange he’d had as it were eye-to-eye with Charles De Gaulle at a diplomatic function in Washington. The two men self-servingly agreed that tall individuals, by virtue of “standing out from the crowd,” were more closely watched, were for this reason more conscientious in their conduct, and were accordingly and properly afforded greater trust. De Gaulle added, “It is important that we be merciless with the short.”

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Cue Randy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bfyS-S-IJs

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Also easier to go for a head shot.

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"Let me have men about me that are fat; sleek-headed men and such as sleep o'nights: Yond Stephen Miller has a lean and hungry look; he thinks too much, such men are dangerous."

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James Corden had a line about Bill Maher, something like, "Sorry, we don't all have an ego that can burn two thousand calories a day".

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Carry on, carry on...

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Trump ridiculing a fat guy? Talk about calling the kettle black.

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What was that posted on, Truth Social? LOL

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Yeah, see the link.

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Take me seriously, not literally.

<Mwah!>

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I hear Trump shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

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Maybe not shot. Recall the line in In the Loop: Peter Capaldi's Malcolm Tucker is jousting with Gandolfini's army general.

TUCKER: Have you ever killed someone? And falling asleep on them doesn't count.

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I like how these guys freely insult each other, just like real slobs, and react relatively mildly when it comes back. You don’t want to seem like you can’t take it like a Man.

Of course you can tell who has more power by who issues the worst jibes.

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Christie had some more ammo: Burnt steak and ketchup; McD's fot national sports champions.

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This has the feral authenticity of two animals at the watering hole, where each one knows exactly what the pecking order is.

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Good, that's what I thought, too.

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Sadly seems accurate. I would've said it's why Christie is a fat slob though. Jersey is a fat slob state.

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Why didn't Christie bring-up Trump's public fast-food intake, which (as always) I claim conSOLEs his voters by telling them that there's nobody better'n than they, an _honest_ guy with a 'billion' dollars would still eat crap, like porn 'stars', and just behave generally as badly as they'd _like_ to do…no interest in art or words or maths or science or other people, just another hog in a shinier pen.

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Also, Trump is nearly as fat as Christie

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I want that to be a real tweet.

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