90 Comments

So.

The Douthat version is a comedy? Who'd've thought it possible? And I just said the other day (forget where, of course) that conservatives are incapable of anything involving wit. Of course, maybe this is just the exception to the rule.

Gotta say; this post was epic. (Should be the freebie of the week.)

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"conservatives are incapable of anything involving wit" could rightly be writ as "conservatives are culpable for anything involving twits"

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You’re killing it, Roy. “Is this a bulldagger I see before me?” LOL

Always amazing to see all the many and varied ways Douthat et. al. attempt to intellectualize the premise MOAR WHITE BABBIES

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(And Fleance gets renamed Flounce)

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"Pale Douthat's offerings..."

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The last line is a direct quote, it has to be.

Also, I suddenly really want to see Douthat's Hamlet, because it would likely be very revealing.

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Or his Romeo and Juliet with the happy ending -- they marry and have 10 kids.

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or "happy ending"

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with 3 there's egg roll

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So, who'd Rod,er, Russ cast for Lady Mac? Sharon Stone? Streep??

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Left uncast. No room for strong female characters in Rod/Russ world.

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I suspect "henpecked" is a word they think frequently, though.

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I think Rod with a long-haired wig. She would look like Nigel from the Young Ones

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RuPaul.

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Mamie Van Doren?

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Isn't she dead? Not that they couldn't bring her back in the film form

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Reese Witherspoon auditioned, but he told her she wouldn't be scary enough unless she put on some weight.

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Rosanne Barr?

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Glamis needs a domestic goddess.

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Yikes. Glad I am immune to the modern world...

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I love this: "Carano was quickly fired from The Mandalorian and the Star Wars universe more generally..."

Jeez, how do you get fired from a whole goddamn universe? That's how you know she REALLY fucked up.

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I know, right? She must be praying that string theory holds up...

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Hell no, Douthat's casting her as the kid Malcolm, the hero of legitimate monarchy.

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A Potato Head with a pipe and a purse

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Mrs Potatohead—Scottish dominatrix outfit sold separately

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Whatever goes on in the rectory

By law cannot be incorrectory

The papists get papery

The japists get japery

But they shrug it all off genuflectory

And they clean it all up in post-production...

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Nice!

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Damn. Worth the price of admission for that first paragraph alone.

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Is this a hypodermic which I see before me,

The needle toward my arm? Come, let me clutch thee.

I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.

Art thou not, Fauci, sensible

To feeling as to sight?

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Inflationary bubble

Toil and trouble

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The English Lit majors are absolutely crushing it today – well done!

I think Fauci and his warnings would fall into the “dagger of the mind, a false creation” category for this crew.

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Oh, you just wait til us Engineering grads get a chance to... never mind.

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Spot on. Remember the olden days when conservatives thought postmodernism was going to destroy everything? They sure love it now!

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When they realized they could destroy everything with post-modernism, they decided that it was to love

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"-Sleepy Biden’s crackhead son” Oh shit is this ever funny !

I read Douthat's tweet the other day. I could only conclude he masterbates to cartoons. Not that good wholesome anime stuff with tentacles and such the like either- Disney stuff. That's weird. Really weird.

Do Lear next featuring the Trump family

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"I could only conclude he masterbates to cartoons" One would suppose!

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It would be irresponsible not to speculate!

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Rule 34, verse 12

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Spoiler: Eric is Cordelia

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"We two alone will sing like birds i’ the cage”

Sounds like Ivanka to me!

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You're an exile reunited with your father, and he's DJT? And you're Eric? You're sick man, sick!

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You can make people have quite incredible bodies in comics. Look at Jessica Rabbit, eta: or Ben Garrison's Trump

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What is a “miasmic” villain? Is this some odd reference to coronavirus? I guess I’ll have to rewatch “The Mask” to see if it presages an invisible pandemic. “The Mist”? “Nacht und Nebel”?

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A villain surrounded by a funky smell

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I am Miasmo! Smell my miasmism, and obey!

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The movie Forbidden Planet has the best miasmic villain EVER.

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The Stench (1991)

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Give me the daggers: the sleeping and the dead and the unborn person-fetuses

Are but as pictures

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Since Lucas has sold the franchise to Disney, I hope we can look forward to “Star Wars Macbeth: Something Wookie This Way Comes.”

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WOOKIE MACBETH: Rrrfwawhrr rrfrwahrr rrfwawhrr

Rhoowr whrooooar hrrrrowrrr rrrrrhhaaahrrr!

Yarrrghhh ruuuhhh hooowrarhh

Rahrahhnnnfrawr rerrharrrr ruhrerrrehhh.

HAN: I don't *care* if it's a tale told by an idiot, Wookie Macbeth,

Just punch the hyperdrive or there won't BE a tomorrow!

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This is the best shit right here yo

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Props for the "Crusader armor with giant codpieces" touch: the white supremacists are obsessed with the Templars and the Crusades. My GM-sense would add that they say: "Deus Vult" as well.

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Google “henry viii armor codpiece”

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Sonja Henie's tutu!

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Well, Deus vult as well as the next guy...

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nice

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Another banger, Roy.

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Like I keep saying, we may be in a handbasket headed for hell but at least you'll keep the laffs coming. Good one today!

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Oh, and great comments too!

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...𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘋𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘉𝘢𝘯𝘲𝘶𝘰 𝘣𝘺 𝘥𝘢𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘴𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥, 𝘔𝘢𝘤𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘩 “𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘴” 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤 𝘪𝘗𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘶𝘱𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘶𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘱 𝘭𝘢𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 “𝘓𝘪𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘎𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘨.”

It's like a Ben Garrison cartoon come to life!

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