Pratfalls never stop being funny when it’s Goldberg. Love his “epiphany” around the word prejudice, LOL. And this guy gets paid big bucks for connecting the dots that way. Central to his point, indeed.
I read the headline and thought "well, that's about right for the way the world works now. Santorum ejected from CNN, Goldberg brought in as the conservative intellectual." Especially since Chris Cuomo got dragged under by his brother--CNN no longer has a notional Democrat who will use his show to platform every Rightwing talking point and showcase every Rightwing nutjob.
OT: Speaking of showcasing Rightwing nutjobs, I was watching NBC Nightly News last night. One of the stories was a look at how mask wearing in schools affects covid transmission. The reporter looked at two school districts in Ohio--one with a mask mandate, one without. The difference in instances of covid cases was dramatic (far fewer in the mask-wearing school). The reporter then followed this by citing two studies by the CDC--one in Georgia and one in New Mexico--that examined the same question: Do mask mandates make a difference in reported covid cases? Again, the data shows a dramatic difference, with mask wearing greatly reducing the odds of covid cases.
I guess NBC felt like they had to bring "balance" to this. So, the reporter then says "some have cited problems with the methodology of these studies." The report then cuts to some woman just stating flat-out that the studies are wrong. Who was this woman? We'll never know because she was never identified. What was her basis for claiming the studies were wrong? We'll never know because I guess that's not important.
Jonah Goldberg on CNN is what America deserves for impeaching Bill Clinton for lying about fellatio, thanks to Mama Goldberg. Actions have consequences, people, and the chain of causality is obscure and probabilistic. Butterfly, hurricane. Allow the wrong people near the levers of power and you open yourself to future shitstorms you couldn’t have imagined, other than saying, “Nothing good will come of letting the nation’s foremost grifter sit the White House” or “Putting stupid zealots on the Supreme Court will come back to kick us in the ass.”
I got your schwah right here, laughing my head off
I never knew Goldberg was a pratfall comedian—although the prat part has always been true—but if that ever really happened he might give Dick Van Dyke some competition in the Annals of Memorable Slapstick.
I haven't been keeping up lately, so my first thought at this was "What a great premise, Jonah Goldberg on CNN!" like you made it up. Clicking on the links disabused me of that, to my dismay, which was tempered by all the funny stuff, but still. I suppose in a world where a Cult of Trump exists for 74 million people it makes perfect sense that Jonah fucking Goldberg would be welcomed as a world-class pundit on a premiere news network, like it isn't bad enough he already has a nationally syndicated column.
Turns out Cooper doing 5 minutes with Lewinsky about Wordle is more brilliant stuff you didn't make up. Reality is really doing a number on satire isn't it? Luckily you manage to still pull it off magnificently but it must be getting difficult these days.
"That is central to my point" OH MY GOD...that is so beautiful, and brings back so many awful memories of the Pantload...
Such as the time long ago, when he wrote something extremely dumb and wrong about Roe v. Wade (I think it was is one of his syndicated columns), and I actually wrote him an email explaining how wrong he was, and he actually responded, and I responded back by citing the actual part of the decision that PROVED I was right and he was wrong, and he wrote back saying, in essence, don't bother emailing me again because I'm blocking you. What a sorry putz.
This was a great combo of satire and slapstick. I especially liked Goldberg’s self-laudatory writing skillz since he is such a crappy one. I was also reminded of Matthew Incontinenti who apparently is now on the Toddler’s MTP Sad Panel and who is even worse than Chuckles himself. I guess the MSM is really hard up for even marginally credible”conservative” commentaators and has to reach down into trunk of the Klown Kar.
"Oh Mommy...."
That's the good stuff right there!
I love the clothing descriptions.Very Ian Fleming. Or John Sandford.
Anyway - excellent piece.
I laughed and laughed until I thought about how much money that vapid slapdick must be making. Then I started to cry and curse.
Pratfalls never stop being funny when it’s Goldberg. Love his “epiphany” around the word prejudice, LOL. And this guy gets paid big bucks for connecting the dots that way. Central to his point, indeed.
Day One of Jonah Goldbrick, Boy Historian, at CNN features sight gags, pratfalls, and the Nibelungenlied. Bravo.
LOL! Easy target for slapstick, but Doughy Loadpants fills the bill!
I read the headline and thought "well, that's about right for the way the world works now. Santorum ejected from CNN, Goldberg brought in as the conservative intellectual." Especially since Chris Cuomo got dragged under by his brother--CNN no longer has a notional Democrat who will use his show to platform every Rightwing talking point and showcase every Rightwing nutjob.
OT: Speaking of showcasing Rightwing nutjobs, I was watching NBC Nightly News last night. One of the stories was a look at how mask wearing in schools affects covid transmission. The reporter looked at two school districts in Ohio--one with a mask mandate, one without. The difference in instances of covid cases was dramatic (far fewer in the mask-wearing school). The reporter then followed this by citing two studies by the CDC--one in Georgia and one in New Mexico--that examined the same question: Do mask mandates make a difference in reported covid cases? Again, the data shows a dramatic difference, with mask wearing greatly reducing the odds of covid cases.
I guess NBC felt like they had to bring "balance" to this. So, the reporter then says "some have cited problems with the methodology of these studies." The report then cuts to some woman just stating flat-out that the studies are wrong. Who was this woman? We'll never know because she was never identified. What was her basis for claiming the studies were wrong? We'll never know because I guess that's not important.
Our objective media, ladies and gentlemen!
Jonah Goldberg on CNN is what America deserves for impeaching Bill Clinton for lying about fellatio, thanks to Mama Goldberg. Actions have consequences, people, and the chain of causality is obscure and probabilistic. Butterfly, hurricane. Allow the wrong people near the levers of power and you open yourself to future shitstorms you couldn’t have imagined, other than saying, “Nothing good will come of letting the nation’s foremost grifter sit the White House” or “Putting stupid zealots on the Supreme Court will come back to kick us in the ass.”
“ A little schwah de veever.”
I got your schwah right here, laughing my head off
I never knew Goldberg was a pratfall comedian—although the prat part has always been true—but if that ever really happened he might give Dick Van Dyke some competition in the Annals of Memorable Slapstick.
I was doing fine until I hit "A half-gallon of root beer?" and now I'm dead, and my cat is mad about it because I woke her up laughing.
Did Jonah fix his flatulence problem?
Doughty Pantload goes to CNN. Jfc. Cable news is a cancer.
Roy was having a sandwich at the deli. Suddenly the
phone in his jacket emits a series of fart-like noises.
The wait staff look at each other nervously. They know Roy
and they know what that noise means.
-"Wrap up that sandwich for you Mr. Edroso?"
-"Yep, thanks Danny. Duty calls."
The staff looks on wistfully as
Roy grabs the sack with his jacket half-way on.
and heads out the door.
Danny looks at the deli-owner behind the counter
who whispers,"Godspeed Mr. Edroso"
There is no denying his schwah de veever
Bravo, sir. Bravo!
[BLACKOUT]
FFFAAAaaaarrrrrrrt!
[CURTAIN]
I haven't been keeping up lately, so my first thought at this was "What a great premise, Jonah Goldberg on CNN!" like you made it up. Clicking on the links disabused me of that, to my dismay, which was tempered by all the funny stuff, but still. I suppose in a world where a Cult of Trump exists for 74 million people it makes perfect sense that Jonah fucking Goldberg would be welcomed as a world-class pundit on a premiere news network, like it isn't bad enough he already has a nationally syndicated column.
Turns out Cooper doing 5 minutes with Lewinsky about Wordle is more brilliant stuff you didn't make up. Reality is really doing a number on satire isn't it? Luckily you manage to still pull it off magnificently but it must be getting difficult these days.
"That is central to my point" OH MY GOD...that is so beautiful, and brings back so many awful memories of the Pantload...
Such as the time long ago, when he wrote something extremely dumb and wrong about Roe v. Wade (I think it was is one of his syndicated columns), and I actually wrote him an email explaining how wrong he was, and he actually responded, and I responded back by citing the actual part of the decision that PROVED I was right and he was wrong, and he wrote back saying, in essence, don't bother emailing me again because I'm blocking you. What a sorry putz.
This was a great combo of satire and slapstick. I especially liked Goldberg’s self-laudatory writing skillz since he is such a crappy one. I was also reminded of Matthew Incontinenti who apparently is now on the Toddler’s MTP Sad Panel and who is even worse than Chuckles himself. I guess the MSM is really hard up for even marginally credible”conservative” commentaators and has to reach down into trunk of the Klown Kar.