53 Comments

My best advice for rootin’ tootin’ cowboy Shapiro is – always aim high. Perspective can be a challenge when your targets are so far above you.

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Shapiro has made a career so far of aiming as low as possible, so this will be tough. Perhaps he can be given a Real Cowboy box to stand on...?

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Also, thanks for the making the connection to Shapiro's "bizarre" rant about standing at the door of a school with a gun himself.

Remember that Terry Gilliam movie The Fisher King? Obviously fiction, of course, because Jeff Bridges' character actually feels devastating remorse for the stochastic carnage he brews.

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I loved that movie. The film's message was "cynicism kills," and that's even more true today.

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"standing at the door of a school with a gun himself"

What, did someone tell him about Brown v. Board?

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Eh.Who amongst them doesn’t aim low? It’s what their audiences want anyway

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Something they have in common with the school shooters they enable.

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Unless they're riding Shetlands.

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Lord, son -- can you write physical comedy...

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He’s no slouch as a costume designer, come to that. Look to your laurels, Edith Head!

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We have horses and we know many assholes in cowboy hats. (There is some redundancy in that phrase. ) I know a couple of retired firefighters that belong to a club that combines riding with shooting. On one hand, I gotta admit, it takes a lot of training to get a horse to the point you can ride them while shooting guns and not get bucked off clear to the next county. The horses wear do earplugs, but there is still the sudden unexpected noises and I'm sure they feel the kick. So it takes a lot of hours working with the horse to pull it off.

They belong to a club and somehow they compete against other teams. They are really dedicated to their hobby.

Boy Howdy do these faux cowpokes love to dress up ! Boots and vests and chaps and the hats. They love going to Cracker Barrel after a meet in their outfits and sit around swapping stories. About the Old West I imagine. I alway want to tell them it's ok if they just want to dress up and go out. They don't have to go through all the rigamarole to justify wearing chaps out in public. It's a new era.

I think as caring , concerned and accepting Liberals we should cut L'il Ben some slack until he get's all the way through puberty.

Funny stuff Roy - Thanks!

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I would love to see Bennie just try to get on a horse. And if horses are spooked by gunshots and recoil, what will their reaction be when Ben speaks with his Rex Handsome voice and twitchy bobblehead moves?

(Rex Handsome link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EL6eGQ4Tu1U )

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(Periodic reminder that W Bush was also afraid of horses.)

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Reads to me like your friends are playing "Village People Cosplay Bingo"

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Being a drugstore cowboy is something I must reluctantly admit I have in common with that sawed off jackass Shapiro. I would pay good money to see him on a horse, not even riding it, just sitting atop one, but a big truck is probably as far as it goes with this buckaroo.

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This is what a true artiste does: successfully mocks a moron. One would think that no humor could be squeezed out of a low intellect grifter like BS but no, mission all accomplished here.

Only thing, I dunno, that Deputy Dawg reference: Would anyone much under sixty get it? Not that it’s an issue here, i suppose...

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That joke killed at the assisted-living center. Well, can't actually be sure it was the joke...

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REBID in the Juvenalian vein

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A great compliment, thanks.

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Wow, an even older reference, to Kurtzman’s Mad.

Then again, as an ivory tower academic, I should expect no less from even if you’re a young whelp.

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To get that reference, you have to be REALLY old.

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When some people talk about 70's comedy, they mean literally the year 70.

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“Walk like a cowboy” will always bring to mind Robin Williams in the “The Birdcage” walking like John Wayne, i.e., hip swaying sashay. Meanwhile, in my youth I was taught to roll a cig with one hand by a real rancher during smoke breaks from fencing in the range for some asshole millionaire from Sacramento (a Hewlett or Packard, I forget which). Not a talent I’ve used in decades but for a while in the 70’s it was the ultimate hippie party trick.

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Don't know about the rollin' but as far as the sashay, I think I can say with some certainty that the Wacky Wayne Walk was due to his extreme back (and probly pelvic) pain. It's pretty common among a subset of us who still insist upon walking upright despite the evidence we ought to just go have a permanent lie-down...

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We had a pound of weed at my dorm and I spent an entire evening rolling until I got it right. I was always complimented afterwards. I mean if only colleges taught the kids what they need now a days.

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I am not at all sure how I‘ve lived 65 years without knowing it was called a „stampede string,“ but I‘m better for knowing it. Much obliged

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Come for the comedy, stay for the wardrobe notes.

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Yup

"a stampede string running under his chin like a little kid or a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader from the 1970s"

2 marks!

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When Ben's movie studio is up and running I'm betting the trenches for the other actors will be built right into the floors. They probably have technology now that will create actor sinkholes at the touch of a button.

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I wonder how many country folk went to that Dinesh D'Souza film and left disappointed because "there warn't a dern mule in tha whole thang".

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Well, plenty folx still waitin' fer a dern single mule and th' attendant 40 acres they was promised, too...

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Jesus, you weren't kidding about Gina Carano on the prairie. Maybe Shapiro can get Rod Dreher for a Father Murphy reboot.

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"Touched by a Southern Baptist Preacher"

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I don't know if we're allowed to put in requests, but I really want to see a short drama staged inside a rental van on the way to the Coeur d'Alene Pride Fest. Like 12 Angry Men, but every character is Lee J. Cobb. Or like Reservoir Dogs, where everybody is Mr. Pink (have a look at the mug shots if you didn't get that last reference.)

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Please oh PLEEEEZE

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Nope. It just doesn't work in Shapiro's squeaky voice.

https://youtu.be/LCjhT5cliRI

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Got to the end and all I can think of is The Spirit Of Jazz from The Mighty Boosh. "Ow chicka ow ow! OW! My hat's on fire!"

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If they can believe that Trump is a true christian, then I guess they'll buy baby Ben as a cowboy.

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Hey, it worked for George W. Bush.

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First recording. Long history in song and film

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BR8-IxpM8Ro

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Don't know if this is the equivalent first but still fits. And yes, I got jostled around on my pa's foot while he sang this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZZ1ItQB76Q

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Oh how they run

When the feller flaps his gums

Because the wingnut folks all know

He's a high falutin, rootin' tootin'

Son of a gun from California

He's some cowboy, talk about fake cowboys, Ragtime Cowboy Ben.

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He's an only-five-feeter

He's a racist lie-repeater

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