This is just to remind you paying subscribers that I’m on medical leave next week, so your subscriptions will be “paused” for those five issues, then turned back on with the April 17 issue. The archive remains open meanwhile. Thanks and wish me luck!
Good luck, and while I wish you a speedy recovery don't hesitate to take some more time if you need it. Rest is important, and we'll all still be here when you get back.
Thirty-odd years ago, I went in for a non-invasive thyroid treatment. My case was unusual enough that the doctor who was treating me brought in a group of about 20 medical students so they could learn about my symptoms, history, etc.
The treatment involved a very large dose of radioactive iodine, and the doctor spent a good 10 minutes discussing this with me, going through all the agencies I would need to notify if I barfed on the way home or when I got there, just how long I'd be radioactive, and other niceties. When he got to the end, he asked if I had any questions. I could not resist asking "Will I be able to play the piano after this?"
To my astonishment, the doctor answered me very seriously: "Sure. I see no reason why you wouldn't be able to play."
So of course I hit him with the classic punchline "Well, I couldn't play it before!"
The students laughed, and he, after a two-second pause to process what had just happened, also laughed.
Then I swallowed a very large capsule, and I no longer have a thyroid (although I can read in the dark).
Best wishes as always, Roy! We're all pulling for you, and if there's anything at all you need (or even have a vague desire for), drop us a note.
2 marks. And next time I go under the knife, I'll try to remember that (who'm I kiddin – I can't remember anything once the first pre-op needle goes in...)
A fellow Synthroid! I earned my radioactive pill by having Graves' disease, but since then I've met so many people taking thyroid hormone that I suspect thyroid disease was maybe one of the biggest adverse health effects of nuclear tests of the 50's and 60's. (My one bit of conspiranoia -- just a hunch that it took a lot more than finding radioactive cesium in milk and wheat to make the powers that be actually agree to ban the tests.)
I remember there would be weeks during the early '60s when there was no milk in the stores because it was all radioactive. Eating dry Ka-Booms cereal in the morning got old real fast. My father would make us eggs on the weekends--eggs that somehow were NOT radioactive.
“The score stands today: Strontium 90; Humanity 13.” — attributed to James Thurber.
It’s my understanding that scientists on both sides were jumping up and down and screaming to those in power “This shit could kill you too!”, which got their attention.
A sterile and bright operating theater, cool air humms out of large vents in the ceiling. SURGEON stands gloved and gowned as SCRUB NURSE weels in a drowsy ROY EDROSO.
SURGEON: Morning! I see you are as handsome in a gown as David on a pedestal. Rest easy knowing that this team has performed hundreds of procedures like this before, always successful, always a quick recovery.
ROY: can you save it for me? (Beat) Like in a jar or something?
Everyone laughs as ANESTHESIOLOGIST clamps a mask over ROY's face.
Gosh, Roy. Didn’t realize it was medical leave! Um, as they say in the theater world, “break a leg!” Seriously, will be sending healing thoughts your way
Roy went to see his doctor.You remember Roy's doctor ? Dr Vinnie Boombatz? Roy has a carrot
In his left ear, a banana in his right ear and green beans stuffed up his nose.
He says " Doc. I feel terrible. "
Doctor says " You're not eating properly"
When I was young I used to read the directions on my prescriptions and think "Well. that's just a guideline." As I've gotten older I realize that those those directions need to be followed exactly
In order to work as they should. I have, however, come to believe ( from extensive personal experience) that all prescriptions and even OTC drugs will work better with the addition of Marijuana edibles.
I once arrived home late one night with an ankle-to-thigh cast I hadn’t been wearing when I left (dark, heavy rain, five-way intersection; driver took advantage of a break in the oncoming traffic to turn left, traversing the crosswalk I was sprinting across) and a bottle of some prescription painkiller or other. The instructions said “No alcohol.” “Fuck that noise,” thought I. “I could do with a nice tall frosty right about now.” Yumm, good. Relaxing. I’ll have another, and, what the hell, I’m going to blow off work tomorrow, maybe just one more after that. And then, just a few sips into that third bottle, I was seized with an ungovernable impulse to lower myself to the kitchen floor and pass out. My last conscious thought, with the sensation of the linoleum cool against my cheek, was “What a 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥 way to die!”
That was three decades ago. I take these precautions seriously now.
Best of luck Roy! Hope everything goes OK, or rather, better than OK. And in a smoother, more hi-tech, more hygienic, and less painful way than looks to be the case in the above illustration. Get well soon and take as much time off as you need. Love the blog.
If there is any subscriber here who would cavil at our host’s taking all the time he needs to convalesce—a week, a month, a season if need be—my seconds will call on you.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery. Have you ever considered adding a co-blogger? Like, say, the beautiful and talented Kia Penso? You'd have to pay her the going rate, of course.
Good luck!
Good luck to you and your surgeon!
Good luck, and while I wish you a speedy recovery don't hesitate to take some more time if you need it. Rest is important, and we'll all still be here when you get back.
Yes, unfortunately the wingnuts you mock aren't going anywhere either.
The very best of luck. So much luck! Luck to infinity and beyond.
Best of luck!
Heal!
Thirty-odd years ago, I went in for a non-invasive thyroid treatment. My case was unusual enough that the doctor who was treating me brought in a group of about 20 medical students so they could learn about my symptoms, history, etc.
The treatment involved a very large dose of radioactive iodine, and the doctor spent a good 10 minutes discussing this with me, going through all the agencies I would need to notify if I barfed on the way home or when I got there, just how long I'd be radioactive, and other niceties. When he got to the end, he asked if I had any questions. I could not resist asking "Will I be able to play the piano after this?"
To my astonishment, the doctor answered me very seriously: "Sure. I see no reason why you wouldn't be able to play."
So of course I hit him with the classic punchline "Well, I couldn't play it before!"
The students laughed, and he, after a two-second pause to process what had just happened, also laughed.
Then I swallowed a very large capsule, and I no longer have a thyroid (although I can read in the dark).
Best wishes as always, Roy! We're all pulling for you, and if there's anything at all you need (or even have a vague desire for), drop us a note.
2 marks. And next time I go under the knife, I'll try to remember that (who'm I kiddin – I can't remember anything once the first pre-op needle goes in...)
Do you glow?
Only when I'm pregnant.
QUIT YOUR DAY JOB and start doing open mic nights! You already have great material!
A fellow Synthroid! I earned my radioactive pill by having Graves' disease, but since then I've met so many people taking thyroid hormone that I suspect thyroid disease was maybe one of the biggest adverse health effects of nuclear tests of the 50's and 60's. (My one bit of conspiranoia -- just a hunch that it took a lot more than finding radioactive cesium in milk and wheat to make the powers that be actually agree to ban the tests.)
I remember there would be weeks during the early '60s when there was no milk in the stores because it was all radioactive. Eating dry Ka-Booms cereal in the morning got old real fast. My father would make us eggs on the weekends--eggs that somehow were NOT radioactive.
Ka-BOOM!
I LOVED THAT CEREAL!
“The score stands today: Strontium 90; Humanity 13.” — attributed to James Thurber.
It’s my understanding that scientists on both sides were jumping up and down and screaming to those in power “This shit could kill you too!”, which got their attention.
Take care, and best wishes for a smooth and happy recovery.
Best of luck, and may your drugs be good!
A sterile and bright operating theater, cool air humms out of large vents in the ceiling. SURGEON stands gloved and gowned as SCRUB NURSE weels in a drowsy ROY EDROSO.
SURGEON: Morning! I see you are as handsome in a gown as David on a pedestal. Rest easy knowing that this team has performed hundreds of procedures like this before, always successful, always a quick recovery.
ROY: can you save it for me? (Beat) Like in a jar or something?
Everyone laughs as ANESTHESIOLOGIST clamps a mask over ROY's face.
SURGEON: That'd be some jar!
Cut to white
Gosh, Roy. Didn’t realize it was medical leave! Um, as they say in the theater world, “break a leg!” Seriously, will be sending healing thoughts your way
Best wishes, Roy. Good health ahead, we hope.
BOL!
Hope it's more restful than awful.
Get better soon!
Roy went to see his doctor.You remember Roy's doctor ? Dr Vinnie Boombatz? Roy has a carrot
In his left ear, a banana in his right ear and green beans stuffed up his nose.
He says " Doc. I feel terrible. "
Doctor says " You're not eating properly"
When I was young I used to read the directions on my prescriptions and think "Well. that's just a guideline." As I've gotten older I realize that those those directions need to be followed exactly
In order to work as they should. I have, however, come to believe ( from extensive personal experience) that all prescriptions and even OTC drugs will work better with the addition of Marijuana edibles.
That's just common sense to me.
I once arrived home late one night with an ankle-to-thigh cast I hadn’t been wearing when I left (dark, heavy rain, five-way intersection; driver took advantage of a break in the oncoming traffic to turn left, traversing the crosswalk I was sprinting across) and a bottle of some prescription painkiller or other. The instructions said “No alcohol.” “Fuck that noise,” thought I. “I could do with a nice tall frosty right about now.” Yumm, good. Relaxing. I’ll have another, and, what the hell, I’m going to blow off work tomorrow, maybe just one more after that. And then, just a few sips into that third bottle, I was seized with an ungovernable impulse to lower myself to the kitchen floor and pass out. My last conscious thought, with the sensation of the linoleum cool against my cheek, was “What a 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥 way to die!”
That was three decades ago. I take these precautions seriously now.
It is stories like this that illustrate my growing compendium of learning by experience – someone else's experience.
Edibles ftw!
Good luck Dude.
🍀🤞
Good luck!
Wishing you good luck, great doctors and nurses, and easy and quick recovery.
Best wishes for a smooth procedure and a speedy recovery!
Good luck Roy! We will eagerly await the return of your somber, Shackletonian missives, delivered regularly from your lonely Arctic outpost!
As requested, I again wish you luck.
And the good kind of thoughts and prayers, too!
Good luck! Don't forget about the food smuggling!
Good luck and, as the Turks say, geçmiş olsun!
Here is to a speedy recovery!
Thanks. It wasn't necessary, I get more than my money's worth. Stay well.
(Throw strikes, change speeds, stay ahead of the hitters.)
Good luck Roy!
Good luck! (And remember, we're all counting on you.)
Good luck
Best of luck Roy! Hope everything goes OK, or rather, better than OK. And in a smoother, more hi-tech, more hygienic, and less painful way than looks to be the case in the above illustration. Get well soon and take as much time off as you need. Love the blog.
Best of luck!
If there is any subscriber here who would cavil at our host’s taking all the time he needs to convalesce—a week, a month, a season if need be—my seconds will call on you.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery. Have you ever considered adding a co-blogger? Like, say, the beautiful and talented Kia Penso? You'd have to pay her the going rate, of course.
I’ll keep a prayer for ya, Roy. Let us know if you need anything. Take care and be well.
Sorry I missed this. Get well soon buddy!
Waiting impatiently to hear how our patient is doing!
Just dropped in to see what condition his condition was in...