171 Comments

I'm considering starting a gofundme to buy a disco ball, strobe lights, and dee jay for the gravesite.

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I’m in.

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The gravesite, or the ball?

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Sell tickets for the installed urinals and bidets, and rake in the cash. . .

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Bless the Cussednesses!

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I enjoyed people repeating the Clarence Darrow quote: “I’ve never killed a man, but I’ve read many obituaries with great satisfaction.” A close second is the Mark Twain one, “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a letter saying I approve of it.”

Of course, Biden got pretty salty himself, for a politician. Everyone is highlighting the phrase “he continued to offer his views and ideas” in Biden’s official statement, and I agree it’s cold. But for me the killer line is the first one, “I’ll never forget the first time I met Dr. Kissinger, I was a young Senator and he was Secretary of State” And then…he just leaves it to stand alone. I’ve never seen that particular opening line left hanging quite like that, it’s always followed by telling a praiseworthy or heartwarming anecdote about what subsequently happened at that first meeting. But Dark Brandon just said it, then dropped the mic.

Savage. A head shot.

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I read a very not-praiseworthy anecdote about that meeting on LGM, I think -- apparently, Kissinger thought Biden was a staff member and sneeringly said he thought staff weren't supposed to be present, let alone speak. Then his aide frantically scribbled a note saying "Biden - Senate D-DEL," upon seeing which K said, "Sorry, Senator Bidden" -- mispronouncing his name.

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"No problem, Secretary KISS-inger." (with a HARD g, of course)

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“I’ll never forget the first time I met Dr. Kissinger, I was a young Senator and he was Secretary of State”

Tell me you're 80 without telling me you're 80.

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That's how the pros do it. Sitting in a bar somewhere in Heaven, Dorothy Parker nods in approval.

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"Sitting in a bar somewhere in Heaven"

Just don't order a beer.

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Pops ain't got no hops!

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That's why I drink it here. Not that I have much of a shot getting past St. Peter. How did he wind up getting stuck with that gig, anyway?

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Heaven's Bouncer

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Bar back

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Those you bind will be bound fast, or something -- can't remember, it's been a while, but he got the commission when they made him a rock.

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Beer is proof the gods love us, as the saying goes.

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Preferably not the gravesite.

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Serious issues with runoff and erosion, high levels of nitrates in the groundwater, etc. Soon to be declared an EPA Superfund site.

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IT'S ALIVE!!

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It’s a superfund site the second his accursed corpse is dumped in it.

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A webcam inside the coffin: watchhenryrot.com would probably draw millions of viewers.

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url's available!

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I’m still hoping that on the way to the funeral the hearse is overturned by a mob, the coffin dumped open, and the corpse desecrated, dismembered, and scattered in a sewage lagoon. I’m sure it can be done with all fitting decorum, as long as no one speaks ill of the dead.

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Dec 1Edited

from the Wik:

"Syosset is served by the Syosset LIRR station, the Syosset Post Office, the Syosset Central School District, the Syosset Public Library, the Syosset Fire Department, and the Jericho Water District."

You know which one is the chef's buss.

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"...Syosset, Cold Spring Harbor, and Huntington! Change at Huntington for the train to Port Jefferson!"

Can't remember the whole thing; it's been a long time since I heard it.

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Other side of the Island:

"This is the train for Babylon. Stopping at Jamaica, Rockville Center, Freeport, Merrick, Wantagh, Seaford, Massapequa, Massapequa Park . . ."

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I just wanna know why people gotta go invent a whole new place just to store the Massapequa cars...

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They do it because they . . .

. . . Wantagh.

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2 marks!

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Fun (for very limited definitions thereof) fact: Massapequa Park was the very first place I visited on Long Island, not knowing a couple years later I'd be living there.

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The sort of fun I get up into.

We rented a delightful little seaside cottage in a small town 30 years ago. Was just right in most ways that matter. Good enough that we asked the landlord to let us know if they ever wanted to sell.

About 4 blocks away was an even better place, that we'd often walk by after dinner. One of several cute places, best of the lot. Years later, after we'd played realtor roulette for awhile, we got a call from our fallback guy, who said if we bid on a place tonight we would get it. That was the place, and bid, and we got it. Couple days later we wer walking the vastly overgrown yard, and the missus asked me how the adjacent landowner would get to some far-reach corner. I told they wouldn't because that was ours. She had no idea the lot was so big.

Best place I ever lived*.

*Maybe. There was also the cottage in the redwooded mountains, and the posh apartment we inhabit now...

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But how many people got off at Chappequa?

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Nobody on the LIRR, Chappaqua's in Westchester. Not to be pedantic about it.

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Not a Tracy/Hepburn fan?

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Ooo, burnt...

But careful now...

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Just ignorant, I guess.

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"But how many people got off at Chappequa?"

... Dunno -- depends on what porns they broughts with em...

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I think Hicksville was just before Syosset. Don't quote me on that.

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I agree wholeheartedly on Kissinger; good riddance! Or perhaps we should at least offer “thoughts and prayers!” Not!!!!

Let’s not forget Kissinger played a key role in the U.S. carpet-bombing Cambodia during the Vietnam War, which killed hundreds of thousands of civilians and helped enable the rise of the genocidal Khmer Rouge regime that killed over four million.

Ironically, he would share a Nobel Peace Prize for helping to end the Vietnam War, even though it was his strategy to stretch out the war after Nixon was elected, in order to negotiate better terms for a settlement; tens of thousands additional Americans and hundreds of thousands of Vietnamese died as a result.

I could go on and on, including his escapades in Indonesia (East Timor invasion in 75’) and the Bangladesh Liberation War in 1971, what’s the point.

The man was nothing more than a water boy for US multinational corporations and American imperialism. Sadly, he is still well respected and considered a mentor to people like Hillary Clinton.

Additionally, his tentacles after leaving office still infested our democracy for decades to come. He was THE perennial neo-con, and Paul Bremer (Kissinger Associates partner), and acolyte, would eventually become the leader of the Coalition Provisional Authority (CPA) in Iraq after the 2003 invasion.

It was Bremer who dismantled the Iraqi Army putting over 400,000 Iraqi trained killers out of work; leading to the insurgency that eventually killed thousands of Americans and destroyed any semblance of peace in Iraq for decades. He also outlawed the Ba’ath Party which put over 50,000 Iraqi’s out of work; the same people who knew how to run the government, and including teachers, engineers and doctors.

Kissinger and his minions were nothing more than a blood-sucking plague unleashed on America and the world. And we’re still paying for it, whether you consider the manufactured war in Iraq or the rise of Trump.

They all have their roots in neoconservativism, for which Kissinger was a founding member.

End of story!

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"he would share a Nobel Peace Prize" is the simple reason why I must spit every time I say the words "Nobel Peace Prize". And laugh hollowly whenever anyone else says them.

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Exactly...:)

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As Stephen Wright said, "I would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."

Some have.

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Was it Tom Lehrer who said "Irony is dead now that Kissinger has won the Nobel Peace Prize"? But we keep killin' it just the same.

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When you consider that Nobel is most famous for inventing dynamite, maybe irony is the wrong word....:)

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Possibly apocryphal, but I'm recalling Alfred Nobel set up the award as penance for that act.

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Agreed, I was just making the point that the prize itself was ironic, so giving it to a war monger wouldn’t be out of the ordinary.

That said, dynamite has useful purposes as well; especially blowing holes through mountains for expanding railroads. Every positive has an equal and opposite negative effect as well...:)

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I don't see how at that level it's ironic, unless we're talking "Alanis Morrisette ironic" -- which has nothing to do with irony...

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Yup, and *guess who outlived* Kissmyassinger?

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Here the news of Kissinger’s death was quickly buried under rumors of Taylor Swift coming to Lambeau Field and whether she’ll invite Simone Biles to join her in her private box.

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This is delightful!

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Ah, Wisconsin. Don't ever change.

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Priorities, man.

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Royalty comes to visit! We'd better clean this place up!

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I am the oldest person in my workplace, having at least 20 years on everyone else. My co-workers have a vague notion of who Kissinger was, but no clue as to what Kissinger did. So they could not understand why I was so happy yesterday; why I said the world is a demonstrably better place because Henry Kissinger is finally dead.

But he is, finally, dead. And the world is a better place for it.

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One takes one's delights where one finds 'em.

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Jimmy Carter won.

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Sorry to keep harping on my MSNBC obsession, but the entire day before was tributes to Rosalynn Carter and Jimmy Carter, some even mentioning Carter's commitment to human rights. No mention today that all of that was a reaction to, and a repudiation of, everything Kissinger stood for. And of course, the one example of Kissingerian Realpolitik from Carter's presidency, his support for the Taliban to "give the Russians their Vietnam" ended disastrously, the country destroyed, hundreds of thousands dead on all sides. No doubt Kissinger approved heartily.

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That was Brzezinski. Though K. may have said something similar I guess.

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I've always felt that Brzezinski was foisted on Carter as Carter's Kissinger, because otherwise Washington does not take Carter seriously.

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Could be. I know that Zbig scared me just for that reason.

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Indeed. And Brzezinski's daughter is now married to . . .

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"Killa Joe" Scarborough, as I've been referring to him for years now.

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Years later Brzezinski was still quite warm in defense of the Afghan scheme. It's very rare that any of these men repent. (Shouldn't say "men" I guess since H. Clinton is the same way.)

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"assholes" is a good ungendered alternative.

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As I like to say, "Opinions are like assholes, every asshole has two & they want you to observe them."

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And Sandy O'Connor (barely)

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Nuthin'. I got nuthin'. I go by the murder site of Orlando Letelier and Ronnie Moffitt most every day. Haven't seen anything but that in my head for the last several hours...

I do remember the good ol' days listening to Mae Brussell on the radio, banging on about various Kissinger-related fascist programs. Fun times...

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Mae Brussell! There's a name I haven't heard in a long, long time...

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A staple of Santa Cruz Weird.

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I used to listen to her on KCSM, the College of San Mateo radio station. The Queen of JFK conspiracy theorists. Later on a guy named Dave Emory took her slot, his thing being the world had been taken over by the Nazis after WWIi. Doesn't sound so silly now, does it? There were giants in the earth in those days, my friend.

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• I think you mean KFJC – out of Foothill Junior College. Brussell was on KAZU in Santa Cruz also. Dave Emory was an acolyte and remains a force of nature...

• KCSM has been for many years the 24 hour jazz station. World's best by personal test.

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I lived for a time as Lil' Ubu in San Mateo, when Dad I think was working for IBM. He got hired by Xerox in 1973 or so and we moved to New York.

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You are correct, Sir! Thanks. It was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. Not intending to mock Dave, there's some real insight into How Thigs Really Work buried under the stories about Japanese gold and Nazi art funding the Borman Organization in Argentina.

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Dec 3Edited

Yup. Paperclip. The Bushes. And the occasional good guys like Maj Gen Smedley Butler, George Seldes, etc.

And if we ever meet in the real world I might relate a personal story about my encounters with Dave. Not salacious or anything, just, as you say, different time...

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Teenage me listened to Mae on the late, great KZAP (v. 1.0) in Sacramento. Definitely moved my already very leftist ideology a bit farther down the line.

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Haven't seen any LOL, but the closest to funny I saw was the Yankees' statement or whatever it was.

As for Ackerman's piece, it had the breadth of a Times obit but with a proper POV and was, more importantly for the young who didn't live through it, properly visceral.

As for an old's lack of sympathy or whatever: With advanced age (up to dementia or death), one learns more and more how the world works and, well, the more you know about Kissinger even if you leaned towards not speaking ill of the dead or whatever, fuck him. At best he far too little good in him to balance the foreign policy shit in which he was involved.

Oh, wait, something that can be read as black humor if one tries hard enough:

https://nomoremister.blogspot.com/2023/11/henry-kissinger-lied-about-me.html

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The Disintegration of Henry the K will lead inexorably to an enormous wad of cynical, disaffected and bitterly hateful decomposers, slowly organizing into a monstrous terror organism, ready to do its worst on the rest of our normal, peace-loving microbes, and causing the entire planet eventually to flame out in one last Major Mortality Event.

Live Nation has tix.

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The good die young and, like Kurasawa

said, The Bad Sleep Well.

I am old and often up in the middle of the night. Like a fool I check my phone to see if somehow maybe we got lucky and that rancid asshole Trump died while I was sleeping. So I woke up the other night and checked for some good news. I saw the headlines and nodded to myself , thinking, I'll take it!

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For the rest of my life I'll be able to say Henry Kissinger died on my birthday. Not what I asked for, but I'll accept it graciously.

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Happy birthday!

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Never mind that – cut the cake!

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Happy Belated! May you have many more, and enjoy them all!

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Now my expectations have been raised, I'll have to give some careful thought to who I want to die for my birthday next year.

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This, assuming your vast leverage and powers of persuasion, is a Worthy Cause®!

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Should add here "Say! That's a pretty long lever you got there, Mister B!"

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I'd just like to say that I've always thought you are a really swell guy, Steve, and I totally agree with everything you say. We good?

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Awww.. thanks! I like you too!

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Cmon, you know. Big. Orange. Different.

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Ketchup-abusing?

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That asshole Newt Gingrich.

I have a list.

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Oooh, that's a good one. Now I'll be REALLY disappointed if I just get socks.

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I brought up MSN I think yesterday and who should appear yacketing about I forget what but former Congressman and professional cretin Rick Santorum. Another option.

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Steve wants a frothy mixture of death and destruction for his birthday. Socks can be cool, too

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He's on the list. After Newt. And Dick Cheney.

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Cool! Happy delayed natal anniversary celebratory wishes!

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Similar happened to me - couldn't sleep, got up and checked the Internet, and there was the good news. Many years too late, but that's the way of the world.

Didn't anyone ever say to Kissinger, you are becoming the murderous tyrant your parents took you out of Germany to escape?

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I defer to Twitter's "Is Henry Kissinger Dead Yet". https://twitter.com/DidKissingerD1e

Edit: I did a college book report on Kissinger's laudatory biography of Klemens von Metternich, written back in the early Sixties. It occurred to me, as dense as I was then (and not much brighter now), he was laudatory toward Metternich because he wanted to *be* Metternich.

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That place is party central now 🤣

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Tom Lehrer once said that "Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel peace prize." Tom is still alive. I'd love to hear what he has to say. Maybe he'll start a new set of satirical songs.

I have my own "Is so-and-so even in this thing?" list for that arcade claw machine meme. Mitch McConnell is right up near the top.

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Ah, I should have read through the whole thread before commenting, but I suppose it bears repeating.

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I suggest you stay well clear of bears with repeaters.

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Steve Albini on Bluesky:

“Important to remember that while Kissinger was a bloodthirsty liar, relentlessly cruel and callous in the prosecution of both an illegal war and overthrowing democratically elected leaders, manifesting nightmare atrocities that make the mind reel still...

He was also a real piece of shit that guy.🎈”

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Steve has always been solid as a rock

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but he dated some Hollywood stars

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My pick would have been another one of the Biden quote-tweets, but yours is funnier.

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