Stray thots post-election

Just spitballing here

1.

It doesn’t shock me that four New York congressional seats in lower New York state and especially in Wrong Island went Republican and are thus imperiling the House majority. Suburban New Yorkers, as a rule, suck. (I know there are a few in my readership and I hasten to add: You guys are great!) When I lived in New York you’d run into these guys who were “in the city for the weekend” at parties or bars and they were as dull and benighted as any cowtown yokel but also aggressive and self-involved — like they took the worst attributes of New Yorkers and mixed them with Eau de Suburban Schmo.

So naturally when all the rightwingers thumped their tubs and waved their New York Post scare headlines about crime waves, most city-dwellers scoffed but the LIRR crowd reverted to the old ooga booga. The day after the election, they left their job at their uncle’s company and hit Mustang Sally’s or somewhere like that, talked about how they can’t wait till they can legally carry a piece so they can kill any skel that tries something, then caught a late train from Penn Station and went home and jerked off to Zendaya. Fuck those bridge and tunnel bitches.

An ill wind blows no one some good, though, and I did enjoy Rep. Ocasio-Cortez taking the opportunity to smack the Democratic moldy fig losers around:

“It’s no secret that an enormous amount of party leadership in New York State is based on big money and old-school, calcified machine-style politics that creates a very anemic voting base that is disengaged and disenfranchised,” Ms. Ocasio-Cortez said in an interview, adding that she was “cleareyed” about a need to rebuild the party apparatus from the bottom up.

Ha ha, you tell ‘em, comrade! Seems clear to me that continuing to try and split the difference with rightwing voters is a less propitious course for Democrats than preaching groovy revolution and getting the young people who showed up for the Party elsewhere to obviate the trimmer option.

2.

I take pleasure as well in the suffering of the rightwing gomers who were sure they were getting a red wave. I particularly liked the sputtering response of this famous fash fucknut and camp followers like the “Skill Predator” here:

You big jerks just go have a good old big jerk time like a bunch of big jerks, big jerks!

(That racist blubbering reminds me: One of the good things about this election is the apparent failure of straight-up white nationalist appeals to move the needle. The tendency of normal voters to hug the middle of the road can be very frustrating for liberals, but say this for Mr. and Mrs. America, they don’t seem to cotton to conservative weirdos talking like cartoon villains about the future of the white race, either.)

But to be honest, most conservatives aren’t really suffering over this. Elections are just point-scoring for them; even when their people win, the winners can’t do what they really dream of — that’s why they’re so fond of insurrections, which if they could get one to work would give them power to do the actual violence and mayhem for which their souls yearn.

The Republicans might still take the House by a few seats, which they will declare gives them a mandate to do — what they’ve been doing all along while out of power: Scream about Hunter Biden and Fauci and trans groomers poisoning their widdle chilwren. They’ll step it up a little by convening hearings on these fantasy threats, and by introducing bullshit bills like resolutions for “National Heterosexuality Day” or to make Let’s Go Brandon the National Anthem, then send them on to Biden like little kids leaving flaming bags of poo on their English teacher’s doorstep.

As I’ve said more that once, they have no policies and trolling is all they know, which is perfect for a rump party given a measure of power by anti-democracy rigging: They expect to be taken seriously and no one expects them to be serious.

So their factota will get on board too and have an easy time adjusting. Even the malignant Salena Zito, who I must admit I enjoyed briefly imagining crumpled in a heap in her cowboy boots with a bottle of vodka and hugging a picture of Dr. Oz, didn’t seem to give a shit. Why should she? It’s just show biz!   

3.

In addition to blaming the voters, Zito also dropped some shade on Donald Trump for “interfering” with the Pennsylvania election — by which I guess she means he endorsed Oz, which I hadn’t heard her complaining about before Oz lost.

She’s not the only one. I see the prestige press wants us all to shift our attention to Tubby, claiming that the GOP’s underperformance plus DeSantis’ reelection means a fun top-of-the-ticket donnybrook looms, catch our live coverage at 6 and a roundtable discussion Sunday morning!

There’s only one constituency I can think of that can’t get enough of this bullshit: Republican operatives like old Ham-Face Erickson, who says, “GOP, you must be done with Trump. This has to be a key takeaway.” Maybe Erickson believes it; but unless he’s brain-damaged, he certainly can’t believe the base believes it. And so he and all the other choads who are not actively employed by (i.e. waiting for checks from) Trump will keep pushing a let’s-you-and-him-fight scenario, knowing success is unlikely (just like when Erickson was anti-Trump before the 2016 election and sucked right up afterward) but in any case it’ll sell tickets!

The more manicured prestige press are also pitching the drama:

Oh, he screamed, did he? And some guy said something about his endorsements? Who gives a shit? I can’t be the only one who’s sick to death of the guy. Can’t they just pull one of the Jerky Boys out of retirement and at least bring a fresh perspective to this role?

(This doesn’t mean BTW that I won’t do more fun sketches here with Tubby. But those, as you know, are strictly for entertainment purposes only.)