53 Comments
User's avatar
Manqueman's avatar

I'm so sure I've ranted on the subject so much that you all know what I'd say if I bothered to expend the energy so I'm going to pass except for one little self-referential tidbit:

https://bsky.app/profile/manqueman.bsky.social/post/3m2lrcj5bnk2r

Pere Ubu's avatar

*looks at collection of Lefty media criticism magazines from the 1990s, sighs*

Manqueman's avatar

I so miss Alex Cockburn’s Press Clips from the Voice…

Worriedman's avatar

Chafes my ass when the truly ( spectacularly even,) mediocre do so well. The Golden age starts when we rid ourselves of Billionaires. Let them live but take their money.

Do they think they can steal viewers from Fox? Normal, decent folks won't stick around.

SteveB's avatar

Paramount paid $150 million for her "news service" that has 170,000 paid subscribers, about the same as a midsize newspaper. Do the math (and I can't help myself) and it's about a thousand dollars per subscriber.

proportionwheel's avatar

Pocket change for Ellison. Turning CBS into the Völkischer Beobachter, priceless though. But betting on Weiss to accomplish that seems not particularly smart.

SteveB's avatar

My guess is that their plan for CBS is sorta like Tubby's plan for the military - not so much to take it over and make it his instrument (we all saw how well the speech went over) but to put just enough loyal fuck-ups in the right places to paralyze it completely.

With the military, he doesn't need them to march on the Capitol when the electoral votes are counted, he just needs them to sit in a conference room debating the question endlessly while his buddies the Proud Boys lynch any member of Congress who won't play ball.

With the media, they've already got plenty of right-wing propaganda outlets, all they need from the prestige media is to hobble themselves through the usual bothsides bullshit, a task they were already well on their way to accomplishing even before Weiss came into the picture.

Pere Ubu's avatar

There's a whole loathsome BUFFET of far Right "news" outlets at the moment if someone doesn't like FAUX. Nobody in the "MSM" going to be stealing viewership from them.

SundayStyle's avatar

I think Weiss probably *IS* a Ralph Lauren girl, so kudos on that one Roy.

The most depressing thing is if a recording surfaced of an editorial meeting that echoed this sketch almost word for word, it wouldn't really shock me. That's where we are.

The moral, of course, is if you kiss enough rightwing billionaire ass, the sky's the limit.

Derelict's avatar

"I've Been Canceled" cartoon goes here.

SundayStyle's avatar

You have to admit "I've been canceled" is a lot easier on the ego than "I'm an asshole so nobody likes me."

Howlin Wolfe's avatar

😂 If one person cancels you and nobody else does, they’re the asshole. If everyone you meet cancels you, you’re the asshole.

Circumspectral's avatar

After which, having established you’re the asshole, CNN offers you airtime to continue hollering, “I’ve been canceled!” .

Pere Ubu's avatar

Then you go on the "I've Been Cancelled" tour nationwide

Bern's avatar

Yeah. But they are not ‘Do the math’ types.

SteveB's avatar

Counting past one. We're just asking too much.

JT's avatar

$2500 for a f***ing blazer. Jesus H. Christ.

SteveB's avatar

Man, this Biden economy is a real killer, amirite?

SteveB's avatar

"if you kiss enough rightwing billionaire ass, the sky's the limit."

Please. In David Ellison's case, the billionaire kissed HIM on the forehead every night when he tucked him into bed.

Susie Madrak's avatar

Roy, you're remote viewing again, right? RIGHT?

SteveB's avatar

You'd be amazed at how small those drones are getting. Like a fly on the wall.

Xoviquom's avatar

Edgar Cayce was a drone?!?!?

Ellis Weiner's avatar

On the contrary, he had a sparkling personality.

ssdd's avatar

It’s the mark of a true artist when you so throughly enjoy the setup even though you already know the punchline.

SteveB's avatar

Sadly, the punchline did not involve CBS' new editor getting punched.

Pere Ubu's avatar

OMG ADVOCACY OF VIOLENCE FROM THE LEFT *scribbles notes, sends them C.O.D. to the D.O.J. A.S.A.P.*

SteveB's avatar

SO MUCH FOR THE TOLERANT LEFT

DrBDH's avatar

I suspect there was a bidding war between CBS, NBC, ABC, the NYT and WaPo to acquire Bari’s little griftrag and Bari herself. I also suspect she will never meet any CBS journalists face to face. Let’s see if the CBS reporters have as much self respect as the Homer, Alaska, journalists.

redoubtagain's avatar

I'm expecting to see this sometime within the next six months or so:

"March 6, 2026--Russia Today (RT) acquires 50.1% of Paramount Skydance"

SteveB's avatar

Soon, news networks will have names like drug companies: Glaxo Smithkline Beecham. Like a four-car pileup.

Bern's avatar

Metaphor! 2 marks!

Pere Ubu's avatar

One of the meds at work has two different logos on it, and I'm never sure which is the one I'm supposed to put down on my record. I just picked one to stick with. No objections yet.

SteveB's avatar

"Well, son, when a Glaxo meets a Smithkline and they love each other VERY MUCH..."

Bern's avatar

You get to lichen one another!

Richard Von Busack's avatar

What's getting me through this is a mean thought about the look she'll have on her face when the Supreme Court annuls her marriage.

Alexander Jokay's avatar

Here's betting she's outta there even faster than Megyn Kelly got kicked to the curb at NBC.

SteveB's avatar

From your lips to David Ellison's ears (he is God, right? He sure thinks so) but Megyn was on-air talent, which gave us, the plebes, a chance to vote on her performance by not-watching in YOOGE numbers. They smartly decided to keep Bari behind the scenes where she can stink up the place with little public notice.

Bern's avatar

Son o’ God, Shirley.

Alexander Jokay's avatar

I think it may be a stretch to call Megyn a talent, but don't forget that she chose to dig in her high heels and die on White Santa Claus Hill. Similarly, I have a strong suspicion that Bari wants more than anything to remake 60 Minutes into an ideological mouthpiece and she's going to end up in a very public fight with some real journalists who aren't having any of it.

SteveB's avatar

My apologies, should have been on-air "talent"

redoubtagain's avatar

Joe McCarthy's Last Laugh

Bern's avatar

The "tick tick tick" will be replaced by a digital watch humming some smarmy tune...

SteveB's avatar

Replaced by a Black Forest cuckoo clock. On the hour, a little stormtrooper comes out and give the Hitler salute.

Blueb4sunrise's avatar

FUCK YEAH!!

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SteveB's avatar

"If you elect Trump, America will descend into a fascist hellscape!"

"Uh... will there be cookies?"

Bern's avatar

When bloated, corporate toadies meet sleek, corporate toadies and they all go bad together…

R.Porrofatto's avatar

This was brilliant and all too true. In her inexplicable ascendancy from fringe loon to "journalist and entrepreneur," Weiss has become the Laura Loomer of MAGA intellectuals. Her success is due entirely to The Free Press, a collection of right-wing opinion pieces with a subscription base not much larger than Heather Cox Richardson's newsletter, and a massive persecution complex shared by her fellow weirdos. Thanks to Larry Ellison's ego needing his own right wing media empire and a sinecure for his progeny to play with, her 20-year old photograph is now plastered all over the Beltway press. We are so blessed. All hail Trumpism!

SteveB's avatar

Always failing, upward, upward, twirling, twirling towards fascism!

Pere Ubu's avatar

You think maybe she misread "Triomphe" as "Trump" and thinks she's being patriotic in those shoes? 🤪

SteveB's avatar

Workin' on a feature-length documentary film, "Triomphe of the Heel" but Bari's no Leni.

SteveB's avatar

David Ellison draws himself up to his full height and says, "Were YOU ejaculated out of a billionaire's ding-dong? Because I sure was!"

Iamhbomb's avatar

Both the Ellisons are weird-ass looking dudes ("Junior, where's your eyebrows???"), and I suspect that might have something do with their disdain for normal people.