21 Comments

I would like to bankroll this play's opening on Broadway, but I must insist on a percentage of gross (not net).

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There's plenty that's gross to go around.

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(As soon as I started reading I started hearing the theme song.)

This whole Ignacio De Loyola II: This Time We'll Have Machine Guns Boogaloo is going to, forgive me, blow up in their faces once the Carabinieri treat them like the potential multinational terrorist organization they think they are. (Extra points for Der Spencer's Face falling via a female sniper.)

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It's all great, but I was struck especially funny by the Richard Engel setup--that was pretty imaginative! Little did I know https://washingtonmonthly.com/2019/04/18/what-is-steve-bannon-up-to-these-days/

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So is Act II where Steven Miller, pursued by an anti-fascist Italian mob, pulls out his schlong to prove he's a Jew?

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And he escapes while the mob is doubled over with laughter.

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I got nothin'. Standing O.

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The Odd Couple parody: I bow to your mastery. I can hear the theme music as we speak.

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Yes and, when Dreher entered I heard all his lines being shrieked by Rik Mayall, and for me this quickly flipped into being not only a great Odd Couple but also a great Young Ones.

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I loved Rick Mayall when I lived in England, back in the day and his wondrous turn in the The Comic Strip. Comic genius who died way too young.

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I don’t think we have any food. You want some cocaine?

[ This got true lol because I remember those days. But I recall it as my friend saying ,"We haven't got any coffee, want some cocaine" ]

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Sure, this may be a brilliant Odd Couple take, but just you wait. A few years of Boys' Life at the Bannon Monastery and I bet your opening VO is gonna be more a parody of something like this:

"The reaches opened before us and closed behind, as if the forest had stepped leisurely across the water to bar the way for our return. We penetrated deeper and deeper into the heart of darkness. It was very quiet there. At night sometimes the roll of drums behind the curtain of trees would run up the river and remain sustained faintly, as if hovering in the air high over our heads, till the first break of day. Whether it meant war, peace, or prayer we could not tell."

(I'm guessing Dreher would be "prayer.")

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The one thing we do know about the drums is the most dread event that follows when they stop:

The bass solo.

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I heard a Deutsche Welle report, I think on "Inside Europe" last week, on the Bannastery, I think this:

https://www.dw.com/en/inside-europe-an-italian-monastery-and-right-wing-populism/av-48297217

...is it. The English disciple living there sounds particularly pathetic, and his 'Just because they dress fancy, they think they're _leaders_!' schtick reminds me of what enormous 'Sixties Envy the Right still have---like Norbert the Narc, they're still salivating at the prospect of 'those hippie chicks', and more so at the prospect of being cool.

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I didn't expect such a dark story to have such a happy ending.

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They might have talking ex ano---and note that I likely haven't declined that properly---but I read someone's claim that most gladiators actually did pretty well---most of the death in the Arena was of beasts by beasts, a gladiator was usually too much of an investment to waste, and the fights were likely as staged as pro-wrestling.

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If you mean talking from out one's ass, then yes, you declined it properly: 2nd declension, ablative.

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Needed a laugh today. Thank you!

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Good sketch though the ending was a little abrupt. This sketch needs another iteration if this story ever gets legs. Meanwhile, I'm looking forward to President Stupid and Dumbass, Jr. celebrating in Merde-a- Lardo, FL this weekend. Should be short-term jollity.

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We all have to make sacrifices". hahahahahaha

One of the commenters said it ended too abruptly; I say your columns always end too soon. Thanks Roy.

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