82 Comments

(Are we or are we not counting the weekly column "Poopmouth" is having ghosted for him at Politico, which is the envy of NRO?)

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"Are we or are we not counting"

Uhmm...yes...?

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It doesn’t surprise me that this humorless huckster is popular with rightwing idiots, or that WaPo would give him the obligatory tongue-bath treatment.

What does surprise me is for some reason I didn’t have “MAGA anti-vaxxers refuse to humiliate themselves by submitting to the Librul Fauci Vaccine, proudly drink their own urine instead” on my Bingo card. Because I really should have.

Do you think we can persuade them that punching themselves in the face protects against Covid, as the resultant nosebleed will drain the virus out of their nasal passages? I say we give it a try, LMAO.

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can 10 hosts, 1 cup be far behind?

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But they’re all vaccinated so need to take any swigs. So no cup, sorry.

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A nit to pick: punching yourself in the face doesn't protect against Covid. It's what patriots do to remove unwanted toxic anti-Covid vaccine once they've been forced by the Biden mandate* to get the jab. Then they apply the Borax baths and the mudpacks, and you really don't want to know what constitutes "mud" in this situation.

* "a crime against humanity," according to Laura Ingraham.

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A Grouchy Medievalist Factoid(TM): the Middle English word "drit" originally meant "shit" -- going through metathesis before becoming Modern English "dirt"

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This is the content I come to the comments for

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I enjoy your comments that connect our current goings-on to medieval goings-on. Feel absolutely free to do more of it.

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Spread both stories, say it gets rid of the fluoride from the water, too. It's not like they're not completely at home with conflicting conspiracies. Can we work in contrails?

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Drinking urine? Amateur hour. The real deal is a chest poultice of mustard, manure, and mercury. The 3 M’s. Maybe a faux edgy slogan like “stick it to 3M and the Deep State”!

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Dunno why no one’s tried leeches.

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I dunno if we can, but I promise you no one will catch on if we try. They're apparently taking estrogen now because covid is harsher on dudes?

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Well, that's true I heard. I heard the nanobots settled in the scrotum beneath the testicles and when they had gathered in a group like that their effectiveness was multiplied 10 or even eleven fold. . I also heard that once the nanobots had settled you could render them harmless with repeated sharp blows to the groin. Evidently a Doctor or maybe a nurse said this.

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Persuade them to sit in a warm bath and open a vein so all the Covid leaks out into the tub.

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Wait, today’s post wasn’t made up??

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The original was made up by the Washington Post.

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my only nit to pick here is to rebut against the notion that these guys were ever within a lagrange point of sophistication. otherwise, it's like you've got an inside person at fox.

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With the launch of the Webb telescope, I was wondering how Lagrange points would make their way into our political vocabulary, I like your use, as "a million miles from." I had an idea it might be as "The perfect balancing point where criticism from the left and criticism from the right exactly cancel one another out, thus telling the mainstream journalist he's reached a state of perfect centrism" but I think that one's too complicated to catch on.

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That's a pretty great definition, especially as it puts the perfectly balanced journalist in space, far from anything actually happening on Earth. Shares some of the fun of that other way to characterize journalistic objectivity -- "the view from nowhere."

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For when "The view from 30,000 feet" is too close to the action. Objective journalists must keep their distance from the subject, the REALLY objective ones measure that distance in light years. I don't think David Brooks has ever gotten within a parsec of any subject he writes about.

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Brooks drives me nuts and this is a succinct formulation of why. Thanks for it. If you are looking for lengthier and always astute analyses of how Brooks fails at what is ostensibly his one job, check out Yastreblyansky's blog, Rectification of Names. (Yas also covers a lot of other stuff.)

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Don't forget the link: http://yastreblyansky.blogspot.com/

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The "state of perfect centrism" is always just beyond their grasp, but they're not gonna stop trying, dammit!

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Brilliant.

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Don't execute me, I'm only the jester!

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Poopmouth messaged Mark Meadows during the January 6th insurrection that “This shit is getting fucked up,” but now he says he was referring to his chronic constipation, not the rioting Trumpists.

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I am reminded of something I saw at the Mütter Museum (and cannot now unsee)

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The Soap Lady?

The diseased eyeballs?

The skeleton of the baby born with water on the brain?

The ancient gynecological equipment?

(I was born in Philly, and lived there for a long time)

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The enormous blocked colon (shudder). Philly was our last trip before Covid, in January 2020 to watch Iowa play Penn State (not Penn) in basketball at the Palestra. Did some great sightseeing and had great food too (Abe Fischer’s). We loved Philly!

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I didn't know who Greg Gutfeld was, but you explained it pretty well.

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And now, innocence lost.

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"Tabby Mith Jacuzzi" - For a moment, my heart stopped, but no. For now, at least, your imagination outstrips reality. For now.

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Wait, it's an anagram of Matt Taibbi, isn't it? I'm too lazy to check, and I can't find my Scrabble letters.

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Democracy dies in darkness, but death by darkness is too easy. Profiles like these ensure that democracy suffers whole lot of pain and torture first, the bastard.

PS Here's the comedian being funny:

https://www.mediamatters.org/coronavirus-covid-19/foxs-gutfeld-we-are-country-fighters-and-we-will-do-it-again-february-1st

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This country was born from having said, "This is it, we're not doing this anymore. We are throwing the tea into the river."

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"⁰Post-smart TV: Mythos, Ethos, Chaos. “

Damnedest thing - last paper I wrote was

"Mythos, Chaos and Ethos-The Effect of Storage Temperature on Sugar Accumulation in the Potato Line ND860-2 and Its Progeny Lines"

Small world!

How fucked up it must be to be the hip, now. with - it comedian for the over 70 demographic. He's 57 so he can probably deliver the "Swollen prostate - Amirite?!" jokes with the right amount of edgy conviction.

Sitting around watching this sorry swill on a Friday evening because you have absolutely nothing better to do is some pretty sad shit.

I hope Trump is a fan.

True fact - Trump's Wu-Tang name is "Poopstain Killah"

This was funny AF btw.

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He makes Geraldo look good. And these co-hosts are gold. “Poopmouth Round Table,” a panel comprised of former Newsmax White House correspondent Tabby Mith Jacuzzi, house music podcast co-host Segundo Banana, and Rastt, a black guy.

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“He underlines these japes by clacking a pair of castanets he apparently keeps on his person.“ Japes—now there’s an underused word.

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I love that the jape in question is making fun of Kamala for being hairless. That is conservative humor perfection.

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It's funny because it's not true!

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I read, like, half way before I realized this wasn't reporting but a parody which is to say a parody beyond the extent to which those people are self-parodying.

Then again, there's the eternal problem that conservatives are incapable of creating true humor. Best was probably PJ O'Rourke on the rarest of occasions. I presume being reactionary and phobic of anything new and different limits the ability to spew jokes. OTOH, I have no doubt there's an audience for it, limited as the wit is. No accounting and all that.

But that name, Manfred Sheboygan: Too good not to reuse. Classic.

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I go through all the levels of wonder in these things. "Okay, he's playing it straight, these are up and coming weirdos." "Wait, no, that can't be true. This must be more parody." "But that has the ring of actual events, so...."

Keep your Wordle, I'm sharpening my brain trying to figure out if this is a joke!

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Put like that, I’m amazed by todays post. To hit that level of channeling is breath taking.

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O'Rourke got seriously less funny over the years, probably as his post-doper's stone wore off. He's another guy I'm sorry I ever threw any of my money his way.

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I may have given the wrong impression. Peej maybe got off five good lines his life, maybe or two of them at NatLamp. Which puts him at the front of the pack.

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The high school yearbook has a lot of his stuff, plus the newspaper, both of which were very funny. It just seems like once he put the hash pipe aside, the laughs left as well.

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I enjoyed the two enough. His own stuff was let’s say of a lesser quality of that of those who preceded him. Then downhill after leaving NatLamp.

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I agree that no one could top Doug Kenney's "How To Write Good."

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Less any single piece or any one person’s work; it was the editorial gestalt as it were. When that first group left… *sigh*.

Then again, there are days I wish for a successor of Mrs. Agnew’s Diary, updated to Melania’s diary. Or given the times and her cretinism, The Current Mrs. Trump’s Tweets. *sigh* again.

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I was reading Parliament of Whores when I got hit by a car and ended my fabulous career as a motel maid to embark on a lifetime of headaches. It may contribute to why I picked myself up and went to catch my bus instead of suing the guy for hitting me in a crosswalk.

That libertarian shit is dangerous.

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Yikes!

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In my defense, I had also just hit my head on the pavement and was concussed. That doesn't excuse my reading material.

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Don't think I won't.

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not your finest work

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You should see the version that the Washington Post paid good money for.

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I disagree!

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Like Poopmouth, Gutfeld is a seriously unfunny guy. Reactionaries confuse malice with mirth, among other things.

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What they do is confuse the nervous laughter than any normal human emits while eying the exits and planning out a path of escape with the real thing.

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It IS a joke, just not one a writer from the Post, or the Gutfeld show, would recognize.

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