120 Comments

Apparently Orwell was wrong, or it is just the English who will be satisfied with only 2 minutes of hate a date. We are made of sterner stuff.

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Eventually some of us will be laid out under a bridge, brought down by consuming libations made of sterno stuff.

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I will be happy to strain Sterno through burnt toast as long as the guy under the other bridge has no burnt toast through which to strain his.

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I 'preesh, I say I 'preeshiate it!

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'I cried because I had no starter-fluid, until I saw a man who had no chainsaw.'

—St Janor Hypercleats

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2 marks!

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This song, "Underneath the Arches", is black-humoured and beautiful:

https://youtu.be/Ggk8g_p-Thg

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Wow! The crazy people are, like, super-unhinged over this.

Meanwhile, I've spending the odd minute doping out where Carlson goes from here. ONAN (sic) and NewsMax are too small. He'd of course give them, just not a Fox-beating one. Then I thought he'd go back to what he was doing before Fox called: grifting.

Now I'm thinking: CEO of Twitter? Vacay til Chris Licht calls after the King/Barkley show bombs?

Meanwhile, this:

https://twitter.com/kaitlancollins/status/1650445614486892547?s=20

I'd like to think y'all seen this but I, for one, cannot view it too much.

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ONAN just kills me. Do they not know, or whut?

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Huh? You lost me.

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They LIKE spilling their seed on the ground.

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Ah.

Now I think I like my deliberate misspelling more. Has that incel vibe.

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Incel vibe is a term up with which I shall not hook.

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I’d like to think you’re waaay post-incel so any sort of hook is impossible.

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It's perhaps too much to hope the Swanson Heir migrates to RT, his natural home.

I'm seeing speculation Mucdoch Inc. threw him overboard as chum to suggest they are going to "do better" as they approach negotiations for cable companies to carry them:

Popular Information reports:

"The reality of Fox News’ relationship with Carlson — and the conduct they were willing to not only ignore but defend — is important. Fox News is entering a critical time renegotiating its fees with cable companies. It is likely to argue that Carlson’s firing is a signal that the network is becoming more responsible and, therefore, more attractive to advertisers.

Fox News currently charges about $2.18 per subscriber, higher than any other non-sports channel. Vanity Fair reports that Fox News is trying to push that number much higher to over $3.

If Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch get their price, they will increase revenues from cable subscribers by $500 million or more per year. That means millions of cable subscribers who never watch Fox News will foot the bill for Fox News’ lies"

https://popular.info/p/tucker-has-left-the-building

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Hearted for chum. And yup: nuke yer tv!

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Batman (he wasn't using the "The") may have been giving vent to some concealed hostility toward his ward. (I only recently found-out that it was no coïncidence that The Robin was played by Burt WARD: the actor had changed his surname, because Bruce Wayne had never chosen a poor orphan to be his 'gervis'.)

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OK, that's weird. But begs: is 'gervis' a cover word for 'gunsel'?

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No, it's a poor joke on the fact that Mr Ward's original surname was "Gervis", evidently. They (suits?) didn't like that, so he changed it to 'Ward' because he was playing a ward.

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Figgered. Just wondered tho, cause it fits, ya know?

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Saw that theory. I think more likely is the Grosberg factor and/or making Trump happy. Donnie of course knows the Big Lie is bullshit. But dissing him the way Carlson did is something else entirely.

And the Swanson heir thing I don’t get. She’s his stepmom; not so sure any inheritance is a done deal. As if I give a shit.

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The negotiations are "do you want The Simpsons? Do you want NFL Football? Then you better take Fox News, too!"

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Maybe he’ll join the MSNBC Republican Redemption Tour, have a change of heart and be Good Now, like everyone else in their stable of horrible outcast Republicans who’ve “seen the light” (and the checks).

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Tend to doubt it but time will tell.

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It's MSNBC, the checks wouldn't be large enough to interest him.

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True. And he was already there once anyway.

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He'll at least try to start his own platform.

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Daily Caller 2.0?

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Every other Tuesday?

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Jack can always buy it back for a song.

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Jack? And buy what back?

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NYT ow Wapo columnist, or maybe CNN

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Pfft. NYT and WaPo would pay too little, CNN just filled the 9:00 slot.

Carlson was packing at least 20m/year. Can’t see him taking a huge cut.

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How can we afflict the comfortable when they are already way more self-afflicted than we could ever make them?!

Sad.

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Apparently we can make them eat bugs.

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The hive mind at work!

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You'll cook your bugs on an electric stove and LIKE IT, mister!

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No need – the bug zapper takes 'em out – I just harvest the crispies.

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Hear, hear. The GOP has unquestionably become the party of bully-boy brownshirts. Not that conservatives didn’t always trend that way, but the advent of Trumpian politics really did release their raging Ids. To paraphrase Adam Serwer, conservatives believe freedom means they get to say and do what they want to say and do, and you get to say and do what they want you to say and do.

And any celebration of Carlson’s exit may be short-lived. Fox wouldn’t hesitate to replace him with Stephen Miller if Miller didn’t look like a dildo that had been left out in the rain. As it stands, maybe they’ll replace Carlson with 3 Proud Boys in a trenchcoat, topped by a parrot that simply squawks “Groomers! Woke! Socialism!” over and over. The rageaholic Fox audience just needs the fix, they’ve become too degenerate to care about the hygiene of the delivery system.

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But where will I turn now for the latest advice on how to tan my nutsack? To whom will I listen for apt medical news about vaccines containing microchips and nanobots?

All is lost! All is lost!

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Buck up, boyo! Send yer nutsack to a tannery!

And the big new thing in medicine is not micro or nano, it's mega! One big-ass suppository to rule them all!

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Suppository? What's up with that?

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I am not an expert; maybe ask catturd.

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I feel your pain. First you lose the hottie green M&M to the woke mob, now you must endure a pallid nutsack and risk being turned into an android during your annual checkup. The Left is evil, evil I say.

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If it was really the Left, wouldn't be android – would be iPhone.

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“Pallid nutsack” is brilliant and revolting, and I can’t yet determine which Repub politician it best describes.

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Thanks, and agreed it's an incredibly difficult call. All of them, maybe?

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Ol’ Rupert himself? I’d say Storm Thurmond but he’s dead, or McConnell but he’s plainly a turtle.

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Just realized that your first line has me now hearing Anthony Newley singing "Who Can I Turn To?"

Where will I turn now

My nutsack needs tanning

My mind's been railroaded

Head's been exploded

Since Tucker's banning...

Ok, maybe not...

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"3 Proud Boys in a Trenchcoat" joins Sonja Henie’s tutu, Pablo Escobar’s hippos and Three-handed mother of god in my pantheon of inexplicable exclamatory phrases.

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Oh, I LIKE "Three-handed mother of God"! I shall be borrowing that one.

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It is an actual real thing in Russian iconography, and as funny as it sounds.

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"Sonja Henie's tutu" was the Car Talk guys' phrase.

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I remember when O'Reilly was fired, which I took as good news because I thought whoever they replace him with couldn't possibly be as bad as O'Reilly. What a fool I was.

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Careful now, yer leavin' yerself wide open for another Newley reprise...

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I'm surprised you didn't pick up on "dildo left out in the rain" for a MacArthur Park re-make. I'll never make THAT recipe again.

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I didn't think that I could take it...

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Oh - and you're REQUIRED to listen to what they say, because argle-bargle reasons.

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"tastemaker Catturd"

My brain is unable to process that.

Being on Team Good Guy sucks most of the time.

Good essay!

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Ahem: 'Good Folk'. Awaken!

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Is this a kopi luwak reference?

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NO WAY I'm tryin' those hors d'oeuvres.

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Fox is cutting one guy who will be replaced by three near-clones. No one will even remember this story in three months. Fox will have some new blow-dried rage-monkey in Carlson's old time slot and the NYT and WSJ will be doing pieces on how he's the rational, new voice of the reformed conservative movement.

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I put it on my calendar already.

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A friend emailed :"I’m eager to find out what that ass does next. Campaign?"

And I think I can speak for all of us when I say "Eager?! Are you SURE that's the term you wanna use?"

But to answer their question: Not campaign, exactly, but RUN Queens Man's campaign? Sure!

Transactionalists Gonna Transactionalize!

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Even Tucker can see that: 1) You won't get paid, 2) You might be jailed.

I don't see why he wouldn't run for President himself, just as Trump did on 2016, purely as a brand-building exercise which eventually goes horribly wrong thanks to American voters, God love 'em.

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And the combined salaries of the three rage monkeys will be 10% of what they were paying Tucker. Logan Roy, er, Rupert Murdoch wins again.

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Can't wait for the NY Times interview in his lodge at New Berchtesgaden. I hear he loves dogs!

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Like a right wing rage hydra.

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Poor Jesse Watters, no one seems to think he's racist enough, but I believe in him!

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I think this young Nick Fuentes fellow shows some promise.

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Kanye is waiting for the call.

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It's the nice ones who tolerate it, look the other way, shrug and continue to vote for it who are the real problem.

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CNN had a panel of four Fox-watchers discussing the Dominion settlement. Two of them hadn't heard of it. One of them said "You shouldn't lie to your viewers and I'm going elsewhere" so good for him. Another was angry that Fox hadn't brought out ALL THE EVIDENCE of election fraud, which everyone knows is out there, and easily found on certain websites on the internet. But it was Mr. Lower Right Corner who really got me, speaking from inside some kind of fake hunting lodge, he clearly just didn't give a shit. Not angry at Fox like SHOW ALL THE EVIDENCE lady, but also not angry at being lied to like "I'm outta here" guy. Just happy to be entertained, no matter what form the entertainment might take. Like if someone suddenly revealed to you that Bryan Cranston doesn't actually brew meth in his garage, would you be upset?

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Many of them understand they are lying, they just think lying is the best strategy for dividing the country. Seems to be working.

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Oh god. After slavery and genocide, TV is the worst thing that's ever happened to civilization.

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I often think of the title of that Neil Postman book: "Amusing Ourselves to Death." We're gonna have a civil war 'cause it might be FUN (or at least give us something to watch.)

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They'll promptly forget Tucker. There are lots of Tuckers, and Rupert will find one.

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I swear they grow these guys in vats.

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Vat is vis dis vat?? Vat?? VAT???

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I'm a liberal, so on Mondays I'm pathetically weak, suffering pwnage at the hands of Elon Musk over some blue-checkmark nonsense, on Tuesdays I'm unimaginably powerful, dispatching cable news hosts at the snap of my fingers. Fear me! (or not, as the case may be.)

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Here's a thought: How 'bout replacing Tucker with an hour showing that day's right-wing rage-tweets? Throw one up on the screen and a pair of low-paid hosts only job is to chuckle along and agree that many libs were owned with that one, that's for sure! You know, as a cost-cutting measure because I hear that have some large legal bills to cover. Just trying to be helpful.

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"Throw one up" is a particularly apt phrase in this case. 🤮

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Or "squeeze one out", your choice.

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I'd say that the bartenders do affect the drinks they serve. Carlson, for example, traffics in populism but appeals to old people who think their rich Ideal Son-in-Law would be a preppy Gauleiter. (Rush-Limbo was The Smartest Man at the Bar, Glenn Beck Your Cousin Who Exchanged Religion for Drink, Father Coughlin was,well,Your Caring Parish Priest, an archetype reïnforced, pseudo-ironically, by Hollywood.)

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His main "contribution" was the mainstreaming of the Great Replacement Theory at a time when several mass shooters had cited this as a reason for their acts of mass murder. Takes a special kind of person to think, "The El Paso Wal Mart shooter makes some good points that deserve a much wider audience!"

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". . .that deserve a much Whiter audience!"

Fixed

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Oof...

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Those white people are pretty wide, though

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Carlson traffics in Nativism and Nationalism that is somewhat popular to less than half the country

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"No, liberals mainly threaten conservatives by their mere existence. Conservatives are mad that trans people exist. They’re mad that people live in cities and watch foreign movies and take their own children to Drag Queen Story Hour. "

This, exactly. And I would add: that these people might actually be happy.

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They live with the pseudo-paradox of believing that the Universe is under G-d's /{The Market}'s control and so this a Just World—as evidenced by how badly-off so many of The Blacks and The Poor are—and that they've got plenty of problems of their own, if only from their failing bodies. The Fall and the power of Satan explain that, but when they see The Wicked prosper and be happy even Old Scratch isn't enough to quell the discomfort.

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"how badly-off"

Jeez, I wonder if the Right has maybe been behind a lot of that over the last several decades, making sure their predictions of failure come to pass.

Crazy talk, I know.

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Yeah this. They are, right now, literally trying to scare America into a Major Recession, that they can then blame on Biden.

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They insist that the War on Poverty failed utterly—it didn't, it just didn't do as much as promised, not least because it was hamstrung three years in…but for them it _must_ fail, because if it succeeded a.) it would help their opponents, b.) show them wrong about how things work, and c.) be immoral, taking money from Good People to shield Bad People from the 'natural' consequences of their bad notions, actions, and morals—next you'll be talking about freeing sinners from Hell-fire!

I shouldn't sneer: I _hate_ being wrong about anything, and I don't like it when those I consider wicked prosper, I just have a different cast-list than they…though I'm much less interested in seeing anyone actively suffer: 'A Superior Man might slay, but he will not humiliate.' as Sensei Funakoshi Gichin said, probably quoting a Confucian classic.

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"Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy." H.L. Mencken

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I guess I'll have to retire my pithy observation that Tucker is to journalism what a Swanson frozen TV dinner is to cuisine. A shame, that - it was one of my better lines.

On the plus side, no more Tucker Carlson Tonight, at least for the moment, as he joins Bongo on the unemployment line. Wonder who's next?

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The rage has nowhere to go except violence. Winning/losing in a political context doesn't seem to affect it, so there's no tangible way to "satisfy" it other than what's known as "owning the libs" which is nothing more than a dopamine fix that fades too quickly whether passing a law or a devastating tweet. And as godless drug-addled liberals, we know that you always need just one more fix and everything will be fine, and we know how that story ends. Top of the world, MA.

"Fixing" this is next to impossible. As Roy noted, the basic problem is that we exist. My theory, which is mine, is that they hate "modern life" which is what they see in media of every type. It offends, insults, disgusts, and worst of all ignores them. Normally they would just be cranks who hate everything, but the plutocrats who own the country use that hate to try and keep control of the only thing left that can seriously inconvenience them, government. We're going to be stuck in this loop until something blows up, blows up real good. Not just the scattered terrorism of getting shot for knocking on the wrong door or pulling into the wrong driveway, though that's not going away. My money is on a Great Depression, since we're already well into Guilded Age II, but another Black Death, something that wipes out 2/3 of the population, might work. In theory, the third of eligible voters who consider elections a boring reality show that has no effect on their lives could shut down the rage threat by voting enough lunatics out of office, but that's a long shot at best. But short of the Big Bang, that's the only option left. That, and sarcasm.

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"Black Death or sarcasm" sounds like a "Cake or Death?" choice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZVjKlBCvhg

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I liked the Guilded Age. We should bring it back.

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It's back, baby, and Guildeder than ever. It's search engines and apps instead of Radio, Steel, and Copper, but the same dynamic. Same railroad, same track, same cliff.

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When guilds go bad, do they call their ill-got gains 'guilt'?

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Hasn't been the same since they disbanded the Lollypop Guild.

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It says a lot that The Great Replacement, his main storyline for the EEEVIL Liberals and our plans for World Domination, is a claim that we're CONSPIRING to win more elections by getting more people to vote for us. Not sure why we don't just dial up as many votes as we need through the ghost of Hugo Chavez and an Italian spy satellite, but I don't write the scripts.

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