Top Challengers for Speaker of the House
It is time. It is time for new leadership of the U.S. House of Representatives.
People are thrilled that Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s reign of Leftist extremism is ending. The question is whether we will be treated to the status quo that will move us along the same path, though perhaps more slowly.
Will we elect an establishment Republican as the speaker — think Paul Ryan, or in this case, Ryan’s right-hand man, Kevin McCarthy…
Rep. Joe Floorwax, R.-Ariz.
My fellow MAGA patriots, America is at a crossroads and a crisis. Will we follow the communist Pelosi path of Marxist wokeism? Yet that is what is promised by the election of Kevin McCarthy who is no friend to President Trump and his policies that saved America before it was destroyed.
Kevin McCarthy says he is a Republican and that is what’s on his nameplate in his office. And he supports the policies that the rest of us support. But he does it with no enthusiasm. He says he will investigate Joe and Hunter Biden and all the other Bidens but he does not use the words “traitor,” “pervert,” “ching-chong Chinese,” or any others to show he is taking the menace of Hunter Biden’s Laptop seriously. He might as well be talking about an appropriations bill or something meaningless like that.
Even when Kevin McCarthy says nice things about President Trump you can tell that he doesn’t mean it. He has the same sour face all the time and that doesn’t change when he says the name of our one true leader. When I say the words “President Trump” my face glows like I was Jesus and I have tears in my eyes of gratitude and wonder. Check out the video at my Truth Social feed, which I use instead of Twitter because that is what President Trump uses. I also use all Trump products including steaks and wine, and I have written a large check to help the Trump Organization cover the large fines the corrupt Jew York jury will impose on them.
Look at it this way: You read the Daily Caller and watch Fox News because they talk about the evil Democrat Party and the great President Trump the way you like to hear it. Why would you want to vote for someone who doesn’t do the same?
Rep. Marcy Patty Joni, R.-N.C.
Like the Lord Jesus Christ said, I come not in peace but with a sword, and I mean that literally. When I come into that chamber as your Speaker I will be carrying a samurai sword like in Pulp Fiction, and I defy anyone to try any Democrat or RINO shenanigans while I am in charge because I will mess them up.
I am for the policies that the corrupt fake news media calls extreme. In fact, think of the most extreme, out-there policies you can think of, and then think of something even more extreme, and that’s what I’m for. Do you think we should make gay marriage illegal with a constitutional amendment, and if they say we can’t do it we do it anyway and then call for our loyal January 6 patriots to kill anyone who says we can’t, and then when we get away with that we just start throwing homosexuals in jail for groomerism and maybe killing them because no one can stop us doing that, either?
Oh, maybe you say that’s not what you really want, you just want to scare the perverts and groomers or teach them a lesson, but admit it, that’s just because the woke snowflake libtard groomer pointy-heads who studied basketweaving in fancy colleges make you self-conscious with their fancy arguments and grammar and spelling.
But you don’t have to be self-conscious with me. You can’t see it because effete sissy media people edit these things before they publish them, but I spell and write so badly people can’t understand what I’m saying half the time. On top of that the doctors say I have a serious mental illness, they call it a social path, and one of the symptoms is I can’t tell when I’m going too far, so you can be sure I won’t ever tell you you’re going too far either because how would I know.
You make me your Speaker and it will be like something some famous person, I think he was a saint or maybe a tennis player, said many years ago: Nothing is forbidden and everything you can get a permit for. Start calling your Representatives and making death threats for me now!
Rep. K. “Mick” Carthy, R.-Calif.
Do you think Kevin McCarthy is too moderate to be the Republican Speaker? You have heard other candidates say they will be less moderate. Maybe that’s true. But less moderate is all they would be.
You want a Speaker who can run investigations of Democrats and pass laws that make Democrat policies illegal. None of these candidates know how to do that. They don’t know how to chair a committee or even serve in one. They don’t know how to pass laws.
All they can do and would do is sit there spouting nonsense while the Democrats in the Senate and Joe Biden laugh and run rings around them doing whatever they want because the House is being led by a dumbass.
I have been in Congress as long as Kevin McCarthy has, and I have served on committees and chaired committees and passed laws. But I am much, much more extreme than Kevin McCarthy. I hate all the things you hate and want to destroy them just as you do. But unlike the others I know how to turn my hate into action.
So if you think Kevin McCarthy is the establishment, you should replace him with someone who hates the establishment too but also knows how to pass laws against the establishment. That means you should vote for me. And pay no attention to the ads that say that a vote for K. “Mick” Carthy is the same as a vote for Kevin McCarthy —that’s just a lamestream media trick. K. “Mick” Carthy is his own man and he’ll be your man, and President Trump’s man too, in the Speaker’s chair.
"I think he was a saint or maybe a tennis player" is a fake quote worthy of the real MTG.
So yes, I spit out my coffee laughing, but it's laughter tinged with despair, because there is almost no daylight between Roy's excellent parodies and the real thing.
"But he does it with no enthusiasm."
It's the enthusiasts (or some sort of 'asts' anyway) who are the real heroes.