"I think he was a saint or maybe a tennis player" is a fake quote worthy of the real MTG.
So yes, I spit out my coffee laughing, but it's laughter tinged with despair, because there is almost no daylight between Roy's excellent parodies and the real thing.
I wonder if a month ago Roy had Rep. Marci Patty saying "If your underwear can't stop a fart, how can a face mask stop Covid?" would we all say, "Oh, come on, that's just over the top."
"A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms" is what Al Capone says right before he smashes some guys head in with a baseball bat. DeNiro pronounced it "entooosiasms"
This is not a problem on both sides right now, but when any side sees enthusiasm as a valid argument, that's a problem. The same goes for sincerity, love, pride….
Personally, I'm putting my support behind Marci Patty Joni, she sounds like my kind of insane girl (and I'm sure that she would approve of my use of the term "girl"). Who do I threaten again?
Yeah, let's get rid of this sissified "voting" thing where it's considered enough to just mark your preferences on a piece of paper with a pen, why that's dangerously close to writin' and we all know what they say about people who can read an' write! Groomers, every one of 'em!
From now on, if you're not willing to commit murder to put your guy in office, then you don't count! Just add up the death threats received from each side, and may the most threatening man win!
"Start calling your Representatives and making death threats for me now!"
Laughing now while I can because it's going be reality soon, maybe lather this mor-- wait, gonna check, shit, it's already happening.
Ah, well, congress is going be a historic entertainment for the next two years. Ad donnie being primaried and SCOTUS even more extreme and, wow. May well be too much for my elderly system...
Whomever they pick, s/he will be in line to assume the Presidency after the Jan6 traitors nuke the White House. Aren’t there a dozen Rep Reps ripe for indictment for seditious conspiracy? Pare that majority! (This message brought to you by what we would see if liberals thought the way wing nuts do. It’s kinda fun, to tell the truth.)
I would love to see Gym “Bag” Jordan squirming on the docket as evidence of his seditious acts were presented in court. It would be icing on the crime cake if, in response to Bag’s obstreperous eruptions of puerile petulance, the court had him gagged a la Bobby Seal.
It's like if the Democrats had been taken over by the Weather Underground in '68 and then ran Dohrn/Ayres '72 and lost all 50 states to Nixon (instead of just the 49 that McGovern lost) and then decided the problem was they weren't radical enough, and they needed to go look to their good friends in the Khmer Rouge for pointers.
The way conservatives do election analysis, the answer is always the same: The candidate wasn't conservative enough. Win or lose, it doesn't matter--the candidate is NEVER conservative enough. That's why the last half century has been a continual ratchet of ever-more-loony Republicans.
True conservatism is an ideal state that doesn’t exist in reality. True believers hold to that ideal in hopes that when government is reduced to the military, law enforcement protection for property owners, strike breaking, and upward wealth-distribution mechanisms, a utopia will be achieved. It’s like Ayn Rand’s books were non-fiction!
But like a keto diet, any sugars consumed will defeat its purpose. Hence the conclusion that such-ans-such RINO ate too many carbs and betrayed the Movement. This is totally consistent with conservatism’s one true principle: preservation of the hierarchy.
But if I send Ron Johnson back to the Senate, he'll shrink that government down to size, by jiminy! Sure, I'm dimly aware that the size and cost of the federal government has never once gone down in all of my life, but THIS TIME Ron's gonna do it, I'm sure!
For all the talk about what a terrible candidate Walker was (a thing that Donald Trump is entirely responsible for, and for which Republican primary voters bear absolutely no responsibility) there's not much talk about how someone as extraordinary as Raphael Warnock became a Democratic candidate for Senate.
Might be that treating elected office as a profession deserving of respect and as an honorable form of public service can attract a better quality of candidate? Just a thought, Republicans, one I'm confident will never occur to you.
Fun how the folks who think Pelosi is "extremist far left" (Really? *Really*?) willfully ignore their side wistfully contemplating military coup, the demise of democracy, the attitude that the GOP always should win, and armed citizens assaulting public events are cool and good, then get all bent out of shape when we call them fascists.
I mean, their President sat down for a nice dinner with Nick goddamn Fuentes.
"Far-left Pelosi" is an epithet, like Homer's use of "rosy-fingered dawn" or "fleet-footed Achilles" or "wine-dark sea." It's purely a mnemonic device. Homer used them in a time when most people were illiterate and stories had to be transmitted by traveling storytellers who needed all the help they could get in remembering the story and characters. Republicans use them today for exactly the same reason.
“On top of that the doctors say I have a serious mental illness, they call it a social path, and one of the symptoms is I can’t tell when I’m going too far, so you can be sure I won’t ever tell you you’re going too far either because how would I know.”
You’re on a roll, Roy: two perfect posts to start the week.
I'm sorry, I wasn't actually trying to get you to apologize. When we were diagnosed, they called it Multiple Personality Disorder. I see jokes about that some, I was wondering how likely a DID specifically joke is to land in any audience, and if that's changed because of Herschel Walker.
Anyway, sorry I came off as aggressive rather than surprised. Also sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, yesterday was migraine.
Thanks for your kind reply, DS. I’m glad I didn’t offend you because I respect you for your great comments and the personality manifested by them.
I think you are right about DID andthe Walker campaign elevating mental illnesses including DID, and maybe Ye’s bipolar disorder has something to do with it. At any rate, it’s no joke to people suffering from mental illness, so easy riffs using a psychiatric disorder as an element or punchline need to be done very carefully, if at all.
A friend of mine who had worked at a long-term care facility for mentally ill residents upbraided me once for calling some Republican or other a psychopath. She said she knew several psychopaths at her workplace who are lovely people who would never hurt anyone. Like any general category of person, even a somewhat narrow group (but undoubtedly larger than most are aware of) like this, it covers a broad range of people differing in characteristics, so it’s unfair to lump them in with egregious examples of the group. I suggested calling them sociopaths, which she agreed was a more appropriate term.
As to why I apologized for the joke, after your response pointing out that framing the joke as an “alias” rather than DID would have worked, I realized that the mental illness aspect relies on mocking the ridiculous, albeit fictional and satirical, character Rep. Floorwax as “Ain’t he ca-raaaaazy?”
Sorry for this long response. But you got me thinking in a good way, I hope.
Trump, Inc. even got a permit for tax evasion! True, you have to buy the permit years after the fact and the cost can be a sizeable fraction of your ill-gotten gains unless you've got some really good lawyers and then you may not have to pay at all, but that's just how our system works! You know what they say, "Don't do the crime if you can't write the check."
This post reminded me of a book The Onion put out long long ago, called This Stupid Century. IIRC it was a future history of the early 21st century, and featured things like a dance fad that was marching to John Philip Sousa. They had a section on politics, but the only part I remember was the "Nutty 99th" session of congress. I should dig it up to see what's coming.
"I think he was a saint or maybe a tennis player" is a fake quote worthy of the real MTG.
So yes, I spit out my coffee laughing, but it's laughter tinged with despair, because there is almost no daylight between Roy's excellent parodies and the real thing.
"...there is almost no daylight between Roy's excellent parodies and the real thing."
I fear that molecule-wide gap shrinking over the next two years.
I wonder if a month ago Roy had Rep. Marci Patty saying "If your underwear can't stop a fart, how can a face mask stop Covid?" would we all say, "Oh, come on, that's just over the top."
Probably, but you saw I sort of hedged today.
The jokes are getting ever closer to having the spans of mayflies or even shorter, soon to be killed by reality.
“They came for my jokes, but not having a sense of humor of any wit, I just shrugged.
“Then they came for...”
Those nasty jamokes!
They came fer me jokes!
And stayed for the veal?
Oh we had so much fun that we stayed for the cutlet
With jazzy accompaniment from good ol' Sid Catlett!
aren't jamokes, just jam jokes, like
Why was there peanut butter on the road? It went with the traffic jam.
Why did the ants dance on the jam jar lid? It said twist to open.
Bought some jam, it said “store in a cool place”. So I left it at Bern's place.
I wondered where this stuff came from...this is the spot, man...you dig?
Crap.
I just now see what you did there...
Oof.
Not entirely a William Burroughs fan, but, dang, he'd have plenty material were he still emitting prose...
See, ChatGPT. Maybe we can generate that Burroughs prose!
Let's not and say we did....
Glad you see the connection!
'The hypocrites were boyo'd in their thanks.'
I like this and I have no idea why.
Maybe because the relatively young Burroughs was at least pretty good with titles….
What I remember is he was damn good describing drug sessions...
"But he does it with no enthusiasm."
It's the enthusiasts (or some sort of 'asts' anyway) who are the real heroes.
"A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms" is what Al Capone says right before he smashes some guys head in with a baseball bat. DeNiro pronounced it "entooosiasms"
This is not a problem on both sides right now, but when any side sees enthusiasm as a valid argument, that's a problem. The same goes for sincerity, love, pride….
I bet Rep. Floorwax graduated some dum loudly from Trump's Real Estate Academy too.
Rep. Marcy Patty Joni has too many 'y's and not enough 'i's.
As Joe Zawinul said: "Merci, merci, merci..."
I thought Joe was Austrian, not French.
I know. Coulda wrote "Marci, Marci, Marci...", I s'pose...
It's the French version of "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!"
Jean! Jean! Jean!
Personally, I'm putting my support behind Marci Patty Joni, she sounds like my kind of insane girl (and I'm sure that she would approve of my use of the term "girl"). Who do I threaten again?
Yeah, let's get rid of this sissified "voting" thing where it's considered enough to just mark your preferences on a piece of paper with a pen, why that's dangerously close to writin' and we all know what they say about people who can read an' write! Groomers, every one of 'em!
From now on, if you're not willing to commit murder to put your guy in office, then you don't count! Just add up the death threats received from each side, and may the most threatening man win!
If'n ya gots ta ask, y'all ain't payin' no tensions!
"-my face glows like I was Jesus and I have tears in my eyes of gratitude and wonder. "
One day, Bob and Ray. The next, Flannery O'Conner.
What a remarkable place!
This is my "Revelation"!
I love her prose.It is boiled rock hard- so precise.
"Her name was Maude and she drank whisky all day from a fruit jar under the counter."
Or
"She looked at nice young men as if she could smell their stupidity."
Flannery O 'Conner
"Start calling your Representatives and making death threats for me now!"
Laughing now while I can because it's going be reality soon, maybe lather this mor-- wait, gonna check, shit, it's already happening.
Ah, well, congress is going be a historic entertainment for the next two years. Ad donnie being primaried and SCOTUS even more extreme and, wow. May well be too much for my elderly system...
Whomever they pick, s/he will be in line to assume the Presidency after the Jan6 traitors nuke the White House. Aren’t there a dozen Rep Reps ripe for indictment for seditious conspiracy? Pare that majority! (This message brought to you by what we would see if liberals thought the way wing nuts do. It’s kinda fun, to tell the truth.)
Unlike you, Mr. CancelCulture Free-Speech-hater, conservatives don't believe in jailing their political opponents. They prefer hanging.
Hearted for whom the message by was brought to me.
I would love to see Gym “Bag” Jordan squirming on the docket as evidence of his seditious acts were presented in court. It would be icing on the crime cake if, in response to Bag’s obstreperous eruptions of puerile petulance, the court had him gagged a la Bobby Seal.
It's like if the Democrats had been taken over by the Weather Underground in '68 and then ran Dohrn/Ayres '72 and lost all 50 states to Nixon (instead of just the 49 that McGovern lost) and then decided the problem was they weren't radical enough, and they needed to go look to their good friends in the Khmer Rouge for pointers.
The way conservatives do election analysis, the answer is always the same: The candidate wasn't conservative enough. Win or lose, it doesn't matter--the candidate is NEVER conservative enough. That's why the last half century has been a continual ratchet of ever-more-loony Republicans.
Well, to be fair, it's not always just "Wasn't conservative enough" sometimes it's also "too many people allowed to vote."
I gotta coin that says "Wasn't conservative enough" on one side and "too many people allowed to vote" on the other.
Sorry, we only made up two front pages, "Kane Victorious!" and "Fraud at Polls!"
So, Paul Weyrich.
True conservatism is an ideal state that doesn’t exist in reality. True believers hold to that ideal in hopes that when government is reduced to the military, law enforcement protection for property owners, strike breaking, and upward wealth-distribution mechanisms, a utopia will be achieved. It’s like Ayn Rand’s books were non-fiction!
But like a keto diet, any sugars consumed will defeat its purpose. Hence the conclusion that such-ans-such RINO ate too many carbs and betrayed the Movement. This is totally consistent with conservatism’s one true principle: preservation of the hierarchy.
But if I send Ron Johnson back to the Senate, he'll shrink that government down to size, by jiminy! Sure, I'm dimly aware that the size and cost of the federal government has never once gone down in all of my life, but THIS TIME Ron's gonna do it, I'm sure!
Ron Johnson promised to shrink government small enough to fit inside his walnut-brain!
Funnily enough, it's what the Democratic Party apparatus decides about their failed bids as well.
Good news about Warnock tho. The run-off portion of the race definitely showed Walker extending past his attention span, it seems.
or sell date, yeah...
For all the talk about what a terrible candidate Walker was (a thing that Donald Trump is entirely responsible for, and for which Republican primary voters bear absolutely no responsibility) there's not much talk about how someone as extraordinary as Raphael Warnock became a Democratic candidate for Senate.
Might be that treating elected office as a profession deserving of respect and as an honorable form of public service can attract a better quality of candidate? Just a thought, Republicans, one I'm confident will never occur to you.
You're a dreamer...
Fun how the folks who think Pelosi is "extremist far left" (Really? *Really*?) willfully ignore their side wistfully contemplating military coup, the demise of democracy, the attitude that the GOP always should win, and armed citizens assaulting public events are cool and good, then get all bent out of shape when we call them fascists.
I mean, their President sat down for a nice dinner with Nick goddamn Fuentes.
"Far-left Pelosi" is an epithet, like Homer's use of "rosy-fingered dawn" or "fleet-footed Achilles" or "wine-dark sea." It's purely a mnemonic device. Homer used them in a time when most people were illiterate and stories had to be transmitted by traveling storytellers who needed all the help they could get in remembering the story and characters. Republicans use them today for exactly the same reason.
They're just repeating the sort of thing that worked so well for them 70 years ago.
“Extremism in the defense of Centrism is no vice!”
Now if someone could just make a version of the Che Guevara poster with Steny Hoyer’s face.
I see Steny as a superhero, who immobilizes his enemies with his powerful Ray of Somnolence.
With that name, I always think of him as one of the Little Rascals...
“On top of that the doctors say I have a serious mental illness, they call it a social path, and one of the symptoms is I can’t tell when I’m going too far, so you can be sure I won’t ever tell you you’re going too far either because how would I know.”
You’re on a roll, Roy: two perfect posts to start the week.
Rep. Floorwax has dissociative personality disorder. His other persona is Dexter Desserttopping.
This could have been a simple "alias" joke. Curious why you brought DID into it? (Sincere question. Did Walker raise my peoples' profile that much?)
Thoughtless of me and I apologize. Yes, I could have framed the same joke without mocking people with DID.
I'm sorry, I wasn't actually trying to get you to apologize. When we were diagnosed, they called it Multiple Personality Disorder. I see jokes about that some, I was wondering how likely a DID specifically joke is to land in any audience, and if that's changed because of Herschel Walker.
Anyway, sorry I came off as aggressive rather than surprised. Also sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, yesterday was migraine.
Thanks for your kind reply, DS. I’m glad I didn’t offend you because I respect you for your great comments and the personality manifested by them.
I think you are right about DID andthe Walker campaign elevating mental illnesses including DID, and maybe Ye’s bipolar disorder has something to do with it. At any rate, it’s no joke to people suffering from mental illness, so easy riffs using a psychiatric disorder as an element or punchline need to be done very carefully, if at all.
A friend of mine who had worked at a long-term care facility for mentally ill residents upbraided me once for calling some Republican or other a psychopath. She said she knew several psychopaths at her workplace who are lovely people who would never hurt anyone. Like any general category of person, even a somewhat narrow group (but undoubtedly larger than most are aware of) like this, it covers a broad range of people differing in characteristics, so it’s unfair to lump them in with egregious examples of the group. I suggested calling them sociopaths, which she agreed was a more appropriate term.
As to why I apologized for the joke, after your response pointing out that framing the joke as an “alias” rather than DID would have worked, I realized that the mental illness aspect relies on mocking the ridiculous, albeit fictional and satirical, character Rep. Floorwax as “Ain’t he ca-raaaaazy?”
Sorry for this long response. But you got me thinking in a good way, I hope.
Will enter history as the "Dolchstosslegende Speakership".
"Nothing is forbidden and everything you can get a permit for." - Goddamn big government has a permit for everything!
Trump, Inc. even got a permit for tax evasion! True, you have to buy the permit years after the fact and the cost can be a sizeable fraction of your ill-gotten gains unless you've got some really good lawyers and then you may not have to pay at all, but that's just how our system works! You know what they say, "Don't do the crime if you can't write the check."
Money. It's what's for fixin'.
Tough choice for a House Republican. Needs pics of Rep. Joni to help them.
Marcy Patty Joni sounds a lot like Herschel Walker. Do you suppose there's a family connection?
Given his track record he's probably her dad.
Well, it's true every once in a while one slips through the abortion mill.
Herschel Junior Walker and the Appall-Stars
Shoot ‘em ‘fore they run, now!
This post reminded me of a book The Onion put out long long ago, called This Stupid Century. IIRC it was a future history of the early 21st century, and featured things like a dance fad that was marching to John Philip Sousa. They had a section on politics, but the only part I remember was the "Nutty 99th" session of congress. I should dig it up to see what's coming.