Step 1: Write legislation mandating that federal agencies relocate to "economically distressed areas."
Step 2: Agencies begin move, but find 50% of current workforce is unable or unwilling to relocate to the sticks.
Step 3: As agencies begin move, announce that costs of relocation will come from existing "already bloated" budgets.
Step 4: Agency heads are forced to shift the bulk of their budgets to land acquisition and construction for new agency headquarters in East Buttfuck.
Step 5: Shorn of personnel and operating budgets, agencies are incapable of carrying out their missions. Republicans take to the media to point out gleefully that this PROVES government can't work.
Step 6: Write legislation eliminating agencies, with federal budget savings thus secured to be directly converted into tax cuts for billionaires.
(Meanwhile, in a different part of the state, Krugerrand Paul completes the conversion of Fort Knox to his Senate offices by instituting Level 4 security protocols, which include instructions that any trespassers or other voters from Squirrel Holler and such places are be shot on sight)
Lived in Fort Knox in 1970... Your place has more action than the two towns at either end of the post did back in them days. That there’s some William Gibson-level describulatin’.
Boom! Until just now, I didn't even realize no one does no-holds-barred comedy anymore. I feel young again. Such excellent insanity, thank you thank you ty.
Ah bet thet there Godot feller Mr Yastreblyansky wuz talkin' about would lahk Gulchville an' some squirrel Stoganoff, to say nuthin' 'bout Miss Benzedrine. (I hear she's fast, iff'n ya know whert Ah mean). An' Roy, 'bout tahm you cut loose again, you ole hornswoggler yew.
Sometimes, as I stand waiting for the subway, or in line at the grocery store, I like to shoo my mind from current events by pretending I live in a different, better reality, and now this scenario has inspired another soothing alternative: Earth 561, where Bill Hicks was a writer for The Carol Burnett Show.
I’ll believe Stanford and Yale Law alumnus Josh Hawley is sincere when he suggests moving the Senate Chamber to Tuscaloosa.
Step 1: Write legislation mandating that federal agencies relocate to "economically distressed areas."
Step 2: Agencies begin move, but find 50% of current workforce is unable or unwilling to relocate to the sticks.
Step 3: As agencies begin move, announce that costs of relocation will come from existing "already bloated" budgets.
Step 4: Agency heads are forced to shift the bulk of their budgets to land acquisition and construction for new agency headquarters in East Buttfuck.
Step 5: Shorn of personnel and operating budgets, agencies are incapable of carrying out their missions. Republicans take to the media to point out gleefully that this PROVES government can't work.
Step 6: Write legislation eliminating agencies, with federal budget savings thus secured to be directly converted into tax cuts for billionaires.
(Meanwhile, in a different part of the state, Krugerrand Paul completes the conversion of Fort Knox to his Senate offices by instituting Level 4 security protocols, which include instructions that any trespassers or other voters from Squirrel Holler and such places are be shot on sight)
Lived in Fort Knox in 1970... Your place has more action than the two towns at either end of the post did back in them days. That there’s some William Gibson-level describulatin’.
Funny, Roy, but damn, that's dark. I think I need to cheer myself up with some lighter reading. Heard that Lord of the Flies was pretty good.
(True story: Waiting for Godot was originally advertised in its U.S. premiere as "The Laugh Riot of Two Continents.")
Hilarious, but strogonoff? Please. You mean, "You hillbillies at least have ketchup around here, right?"
Boom! Until just now, I didn't even realize no one does no-holds-barred comedy anymore. I feel young again. Such excellent insanity, thank you thank you ty.
The spirit of Paul Krassner lives on! Bless you.
Ah bet thet there Godot feller Mr Yastreblyansky wuz talkin' about would lahk Gulchville an' some squirrel Stoganoff, to say nuthin' 'bout Miss Benzedrine. (I hear she's fast, iff'n ya know whert Ah mean). An' Roy, 'bout tahm you cut loose again, you ole hornswoggler yew.
Sometimes, as I stand waiting for the subway, or in line at the grocery store, I like to shoo my mind from current events by pretending I live in a different, better reality, and now this scenario has inspired another soothing alternative: Earth 561, where Bill Hicks was a writer for The Carol Burnett Show.
Dr Mrs The Monarch in a tender moment:
https://bit.ly/3337Xts