19 Comments
Oct 29, 2019Liked by Roy Edroso

I’ll believe Stanford and Yale Law alumnus Josh Hawley is sincere when he suggests moving the Senate Chamber to Tuscaloosa.

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I would not be so easily fooled, if I were you. You are, after all, speaking of a Republican politician, for whom "sincerity" is only "sin city" with an extra "er."

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Oct 29, 2019Liked by Roy Edroso

Step 1: Write legislation mandating that federal agencies relocate to "economically distressed areas."

Step 2: Agencies begin move, but find 50% of current workforce is unable or unwilling to relocate to the sticks.

Step 3: As agencies begin move, announce that costs of relocation will come from existing "already bloated" budgets.

Step 4: Agency heads are forced to shift the bulk of their budgets to land acquisition and construction for new agency headquarters in East Buttfuck.

Step 5: Shorn of personnel and operating budgets, agencies are incapable of carrying out their missions. Republicans take to the media to point out gleefully that this PROVES government can't work.

Step 6: Write legislation eliminating agencies, with federal budget savings thus secured to be directly converted into tax cuts for billionaires.

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Oct 29, 2019Liked by Roy Edroso

(Meanwhile, in a different part of the state, Krugerrand Paul completes the conversion of Fort Knox to his Senate offices by instituting Level 4 security protocols, which include instructions that any trespassers or other voters from Squirrel Holler and such places are be shot on sight)

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Oct 29, 2019Liked by Roy Edroso

Lived in Fort Knox in 1970... Your place has more action than the two towns at either end of the post did back in them days. That there’s some William Gibson-level describulatin’.

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Oct 29, 2019Liked by Roy Edroso

Funny, Roy, but damn, that's dark. I think I need to cheer myself up with some lighter reading. Heard that Lord of the Flies was pretty good.

(True story: Waiting for Godot was originally advertised in its U.S. premiere as "The Laugh Riot of Two Continents.")

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What were the two continents, Antarctica and Tharsis?

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Pangea and Gondwanaland

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That was the production Bert Lahr starred in as Gogo in 1956 and by all accounts his performance was fucking funny, as I believe it should be, which doesn't obscure the bleakness:

""The 1956 production of Godot was Mr. Lahr's show all the way," writes Terry Teachout, listening again to the recording, "and to hear it now is to boggle at his seemingly infinite comic resourcefulness. He whines, he whimpers, he chortles, he grunts, giving each line precisely the right flavor. Yet never for a moment does his clowning conceal the play's underlying pathos, and whenever he opens his mouth, it's always Beckett, not Bert Lahr, that you hear.""

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John Lahr has written a lot about his father’s struggles with that part. (He was 14 at the time, and did Vladimir’s lines to help Bert rehearse.) Apparently it was a case of poetry being felt without being ‘understood’, because Bert continually muttered about having no idea what his lines meant, though it’s clear that on the most important level he got them perfectly.

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Hilarious, but strogonoff? Please. You mean, "You hillbillies at least have ketchup around here, right?"

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author

I bet he puts ketchup on the strogonoff.

My mom made "beef strogonoff" made from a mix over Pennsylvania Dutch Egg Noodles. I really think Trump would eat that. I know I would!

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(I remember that mix.) Of course you would. So would I. That's the point. Although yes, if he could put ketchup on it, he might take a chance.

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Oct 29, 2019Liked by Roy Edroso

Boom! Until just now, I didn't even realize no one does no-holds-barred comedy anymore. I feel young again. Such excellent insanity, thank you thank you ty.

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author

You know, this is just the effect I was hoping for. Thank YOU.

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The spirit of Paul Krassner lives on! Bless you.

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Ah bet thet there Godot feller Mr Yastreblyansky wuz talkin' about would lahk Gulchville an' some squirrel Stoganoff, to say nuthin' 'bout Miss Benzedrine. (I hear she's fast, iff'n ya know whert Ah mean). An' Roy, 'bout tahm you cut loose again, you ole hornswoggler yew.

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Sometimes, as I stand waiting for the subway, or in line at the grocery store, I like to shoo my mind from current events by pretending I live in a different, better reality, and now this scenario has inspired another soothing alternative: Earth 561, where Bill Hicks was a writer for The Carol Burnett Show.

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Dr Mrs The Monarch in a tender moment:

https://bit.ly/3337Xts

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