112 Comments
Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

I shouldn't be laughing, but I am, in spite of myself.

I don't really understand the transgender thing, but I wish anyone who is a happy life. I'll never know what it's like to be black or profoundly disabled or an undocumented immigrant either. That doesn't mean I don't feel for their struggles.

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David Alan Edroso -

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Wingnut-fucker!

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Man , Coe is a problem, he's like country music's Ezra Pound.

Totally fucked up individual, but man, can he write..

I mean -

"But the country deejays, all think I'm an outlaw

And they'd never come to see me in this dive

Where bikers stare at cowboys who are laughing at the hippies

Who are praying they'll get out of here alive - "

The man is a wordsmith.

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Eee-yikes. Admiring Roy’s cleverness doesn’t stop me from getting a shiver down my spine, because this feels like it brushes up against reality a little bit too much.

You know, I wouldn’t even care that much about the mindset of “I’m ignorant, bigoted, provincial, and I like it to keep it that way” if they just kept to themselves and didn’t try to bother the rest of us. But they want to live by their rules, AND make the rules for city and suburban people, too. Then they get mad when we push back.

“Narcissistic Yokels” has developed into an actual clinical category.

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Jul 20, 2023·edited Jul 20, 2023

When the last resident of Pig Nuts, Ala. finally heads out of town, down the Main Street of shuttered stores, they'll issue a warning that no City Folk better try comin' here, or we'll give 'em what fer.

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Again I am reminded of the Red Wing Blackbird that attacked me a couple of weeks ago because he was sure I was after his tree.

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Were you after his tree? Or I guess his woman?

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Honestly, he wasn't very clear on this point. Like the humans I'm comparing him to.

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Ironically, somewhere in Madison there's probably a crew of Republican developers who DO want to take his tree, but getting mad at me distracts him from the real threat. Don't know why I mentioned that, it has no analogue in the humans I'm comparing him to, never mind.

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Jul 21, 2023·edited Jul 21, 2023

Fine with me. Pig Nuts delenda est. Leave no brick on another, and scatter radioactive salt on the ruins.

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Don't worry, there's radioactivity in abundance. Some smart feller came into town and after he sold us the monorail, he threw in a fact'ry dismantlin' radioactive waste canisters. It shut down before anyone got any work out of it, but we got to keep all the canisters fer free!

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Saloon - check. Mom - check. Truck - check. Transphobia - check. You did it, the complete red state country song!

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no hound dog! -1 pt. but this one's a chart-buster f'sho!

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They don’t want ya a desecratin tha flag, unless you write trump over it or color one of the stripes blue in support of police violence. If you’re a protestin the police you’re a traitor, if you’re attacking capitol police you’re a patriot. They hate the hippies and queers and blacks and trans and feminists but if you stereotype them as hicks they’ll cry.

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Little Rock’s ABC affiliate reports:

Country Music Television removed Jason Aldean’s latest music video “Try That in a Small Town” from its service Monday. Though the song was released in May, it has come under fire this week over accusations the song is pro-lynching.

The controversy over Aldean’s song caught the attention of Arkansas Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders on Wednesday.

“The Left is now more concerned about Jason Aldean’s song calling out looters and criminals than they are about stopping looters and criminals,” Sanders said in a tweet. “That tells you everything you need to know about the priorities of Democrats and woke companies like CMT that cave to the liberal mob.”

https://www.joemygod.com/2023/07/aunt-lydia-woke-cmt-caved-to-the-liberal-mob/

The Associated Press reports:

In the video, Aldean — who has been awarded country music artist of the decade by the Academy of Country Music — performs in front of the Maury County Courthouse in Columbia, Tennessee. This is the site of the 1946 Columbia race riot and the 1927 mob lynching of an 18-year-old Black teenager named Henry Choate.

Interspersed between performance footage of Aldean are news clips of violent riots and flag burning. A Fox News chyron reads: “State of emergency declared in Georgia.”

“Cuss out a cop, spit in his face / Stomp on the flag and light it up / Yeah, ya think you’re tough,” Aldean, who is from Macon, Georgia, sings. “Got a gun that my granddad gave me / They say one day they’re gonna round up / Well, that shit might fly in the city, good luck / Try that in a small town.”

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

"They say one day they’re gonna round up"

?

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MUH PAPPY'S SHOOTIN' AHRN

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Ah, thanks. "They" say this, do "they"?

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Well, they're not SAYING it so much, but you know those Commie DEMONcrats, they're gonna do it all seekrit-like! As the old hymn puts it, "they say the guns are gonna go, because the NRA tells me so"

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Jul 20, 2023·edited Jul 20, 2023

Oh, so the "they" who are doing the saying aren't the "they" who will do the rounding-up. I gotta say, this guy could use some help from an editor.

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So they are round-up ready?

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Gosh, I thought we were calling out criminals.

At least until SCOTUS legalizes vigilantism.

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None o' yer fancy-pants citified law-breakin' here, pardner! You try storin' yer classified documents outside a Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility and we'll fetch us a rope!

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Stand Your Ground, my dude!

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Periodic reminder that Erick bin Erick, Professional Racist, is *also* from Macon, Georgia. (I was unfortunate enough to live there once, briefly. Do not recommend.)

I am reminded of Hank Williams Jr's "A Country Boy Can Survive". This impulse within country music to shoot anything they don't like or understand is not new. This is just a lynching postcard set to music. Again.

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It's like some form of politics, built around identity, or something. Wish there was a name for that.

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Didn't Hank Jr do the song about "you're walking on the fighting side of me"?

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Also Merle Haggard and Okie from Muskogee. It's a long tradition, but Merle did it better.

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Reading back through the lyrics, it's a surprisingly gentle song. It's definitely "We don't like you" but it's not "We'll put a boot up your ass."

And all of these "Ima proud country boy" songs seem to be built on imagining that we actually give a shit about the personal lifestyle choices of these people, if they drink white lightning and wear cowboy boots somewhere there must be an urban liberal scowling with disapproval when the truth is we're just not paying attention, sorry.

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Well, you know they hate us for what we do (or what they THINK we do), so naturally we hate them as well. They're incapable of entertaining the idea that someone just doesn't care, which is rather odd for people who constantly whine about liberty.

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All Dean, All the Time

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Jul 20, 2023·edited Jul 20, 2023

"...if you stereotype them as hicks they’ll cry."

Hey, stereotypin' us as hicks is OUR job!

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Wow, that was very fun

You feeling okay, Roy

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I suffer for my art!

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

And now it's our turn.

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I believe that was painted on the side of the Flipper van!

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Clearly you have a career in Nashville, a bullet I would dodge were I you...

Maybe you can get L'il Nas X to cover it...

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Initially read that as L'il Nazis, which I sincerely hope is not a thing.

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That's gold jerry!

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Holy fuck.

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Hey they went to college, started smoking weed, and decided they were wrong about going along with their mom on the Naziism

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Great, another reason for right-wingers to hate college.

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Happy ending.

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Jim Henson's White Supremacy Babies

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Fuckin' Ay! Brat a tear to my eye. Whass happenin to murka when a song like this toutin all-murkan values is connaversal?

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

This just might be the walk-up song that saves the DeSantis campaign.

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"These white vinyl boots were made for walkin', they're gonna walk all over you..."

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Needless to say, it's all about the boots, the whitey boots...

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I liked "Little Boots" better in the original Latin.

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Yipes, that's cold.

Speaking of "clips of city riots", NYC settled a suit with some 1,300 George Floyd protesters over brutal police tactics in the 2020 BLM demonstrations--they'll be paying out $10,000 apiece to the victims.

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Correction: the taxpayers of the City of New York, most of whom likely supported the protesters, will be paying for police brutality they didn't order.

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Fair enough.

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Should come out of their budget.

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It would be refreshing if NYC stopped electing goon mayors like Giuliani and Adams, and then maybe this stuff might happen less often. I mean, the majority in my state seems to enjoy the corrupt, incompetent flailings of the wingnuts they elect, but I don’t understand why NYC does this to itself.

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But who can live in NYC when it's been burned down for the last three years?

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Somebody tried to raise a single AutoZone from the ashes, but the protesters burned it down again.

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Charlton Heston, riding his horse along a beach on Long Island, sees a single AutoZone sign protruding from the sand. "You fools! YOU BLEW IT ALL UP!" Quite a twist, eh?

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And we'll KEEP burning it down until we get it right!

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Ah, the kind of pop lyrics the fine people of America deserve.

So. Almost fifteen years ago, the Mrs. and the child do a cross country trip back around 2009 or 10. They stop for milk at a saloon in Montana or Wyoming one Saturday around noon. They go in and there’s a couple of cowboys still there recovering from the night before. They sit at the bar but that’s not allowed because the child is underage. And while they get in trouble for that, there’s a horse in the bar. Standing by the jukebox. Shitting.

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that horse was a 2 at 10, but a 10 at 2!

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I’m not sure I see the problem here. They were cowboys, so yeah, there was a horse. Now, if they’d brought their 𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 in with them, that would be an issue, and I imagine the saloonkeeper would have growled “We don’t serve your kine here.”

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Whoa, that's some next-level punnin' pardner.

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Just stayin’ on brand here.

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The horse was not per sé the problem. They were bothered by the hypocrisy of letting the horse shit by the jukebox but having a problem serving milk to a minor at the bar. BTW IIRC, it happened in Wyoming so you know…

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They took "whiskey for my men, beer for my horses" a little TOO seriously.

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I’d need to know what was playing on the jukebox at the time before I pass judgment.

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Boogie Til the Cows Come Home...

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Ima sit this one out, I think -- happy posting, y'all

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Unblamed.

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Whoa!

Definitely Randy Newman "Rednecks" worthy

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Or a very perverse “Road goes on forever” - Robert Earl Keen

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And the satire never ends!

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I always did like Jonathan Goes Country. Will keep an eye out for the Jellyroll remix of Jason Aldean ft. Poopmouth.

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

I love Jonathan. There's a recent interview with Jerry Harrison on Marc Maron, in which JH reveals that Jonathan is making a living (partly -- he still tours with Tommy) building pizza ovens in peoples' backyards in the central valley of CA.

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Jul 20, 2023·edited Jul 20, 2023Author

Jonathan Richman is a national treasure and the Jonathan Goes Country version of "Satisfied Mind" is my favorite one!

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Jonathan Goes Country has great cover art as well.

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Jellyroll Morton could be sweet but was mostly salty.

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

What's left unsaid is why any person not brain-addled from generations of inbreeding and moonshine would want to come to your fucking loser of a small town in the first place.

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

For the brand new 3000 square foot Dollar General, a'course!

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Ah, right, I can see it now in the plans, we're supposed to burn that down right after we get the AutoZone.

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

I'll buy the gasoline.

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We get paid by square footage burned, right?

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

I'll check with Mr. Soros and get back to you.

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Jul 20, 2023·edited Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Save the receipt! The International Jewish Conspiracy won't reimburse without one!

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For God's sake, please! They're looting the Food King!

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Oh, THE HUMANITY

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Hoo boy. I read that to the tune of The Devil Went Down to Georgia, for some reason, fiddle and all.

I worked with a few trans women, more than a few gays and lesbians and lots of other minorities during my decades with the USPS (the Service is dead serious about its diversity and inclusion policies) and I absolutely do not understand the drama. I just don't get it. But we are watching a very vocal minority of hateful (frightened) people with large platforms and outsized influence dragging us backwards by what seems like leaps and bounds. I'm not convinced we're going to be able to stop this juggernaut. And it's not just the US, it's global. Oligarchy. Corporatocracy. Climate Catastrophe. Fuck.

I enjoy and appreciate your precision-blade wit, Roy, but I'd be lying if I didn't confess that sometimes you cut so closely it's disturbing. That's what good writing is all about, of course. But, damn! I should take a break from media for a day or 2 and work in my yard or something.

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

The drag queen cancellations, the refusal to accept election results, Hunter Biden's phone pix, massive heatwaves and flooding, Supreme Court justices vacation policy, Disney's CEO telling the WGA and SAG that their demands are "unrealistic," whilst he hauled in $45 mil last year -- it all feels of a piece, doesn't it? I'm hoping to get completely absorbed in the Women's World Cup for the next month. Yeah, I know, FIFA...

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Wait, I thought Disney was on OUR team? I'm starting to suspect I can't trust the judgements of Mr. Ron DeSantis.

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FIFA's Board of Directors. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U56sGInCQec

The rest of us watch because we love the game. I stayed up to see the first game last night. But the women still aren't being paid equally by FIFA no matter the cash that rolls in.

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Technically they aren't being paid by FIFA at all. FIFA pays the country's federation who are supposed to pay the players. It seems very likely that some federations will take some of that money

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Says it all: head of FIFA did not know who Abby Wambach was, in her fifth year of being Player of the Year.

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Who uses what bathroom is their Alamo.

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Standing athwart the shitter yelling stop

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That certainly explains the revolting conditions in there.

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Also "Standing athwart the shitter" was Larry Craig's explanation for why he was playing footsie with the cop in the next stall.

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