268 Comments

“Marxist equity, transgenderism, and green new deal social engineering”

They can't help themselves. I guess they never noticed in the movies when the hero works his way out of the predicament while the villain goes on and on about his nefarious plans.

Project 2025. Program 2025. Pogram 2025... What's the difference? They all take place in 2025.

Let's all hope they fuck around and find out by ruining the economy rather than

Fucking around, finding out and starting a nuclear war.

Does Denmark have nukes?

Expand full comment

"Does Denmark have nukes?"

Sadly, no.

Expand full comment

Denmark is a member of NATO. Why isn’t anyone mentioning that? We are seriously talking about going to war with a NATO ally?

Expand full comment

"You" as in me? Hell no. Sheesh Mike, rent a sense of humor, OK? Herr Drumph? Oh hell yes. Shitler doesn't give a damn about laws, or treaties, or any damn thing but himself, that Denmark is a member of NATO will mean precisely dick. We must have the Sudetenland, er, um, Greenland for national security reasons.

No worries there. It will start when Iran nukes Israel. Then things will get interesting. Ever seen "Wargames"? I think Joshua would pick what was option 6, Middle-East War as number one on the hit parade these days.

Yes, I have a very dark sense of humor. Comes from drills crawling under that metal desk knowing full damn well it is a pointless exercise, even the first time in the third grade. People have no damn referent for nukes. Jump to Step 10: Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye..

Expand full comment

Just a Siri transcription error, now fixed. Sorry for the misunderstanding, but still, chill out a bit dude.

Expand full comment

De nada. And I appreciate the advice, but sorry, not in my nature.

Expand full comment

You know, like Han Solo I can imagine quite a lot, but even I can't imagine how a Trump Wargame would be executed. I can imagine Tubby giving the order and Defence Secretary Otis (hic) carrying it out, sure. But then? Troops land in Greenland and "take over"? It would look like a gritty reboot of The Mouse That Roared. I think all this geopolitical dick waving is just The Art Of The Deal, Risk version. He'll force Denmark, Canada, and Panama to give him something to make him just go away.

Expand full comment

I think in the legal profession the term is "nuisance value."

Expand full comment

Well, he's certainly not an attractive nuiscance.

Expand full comment

I'm going for "Israel nukes Iran", but that's me

Expand full comment

That would be my choice, too.

Expand full comment

The shitstorm that would unleash would make the Book of Revelation look like Police Academy 3.

Expand full comment

Like I said the other day, attacking Danish territory would mean the US would have to respond in defense to its own invasion, which actually sounds pretty much like what our Fourth Reich would do.

Expand full comment

"This aggression will not stand, man!" says Pete Hegseth on his third double bourbon as he orders our troops to attack our troops.

Expand full comment

I read that same as "do chickens have lips?" which immediately makes me think "no, but the smart ones might start drawing lips on just to dodge the Great Purge that'sa comin'"...

Expand full comment

Good thing they're not birds, so they can dodge that bird flu that's goin' around, although it's not like flu is bad for you or anything.

Expand full comment

No nukes, but they could construct some out of Legos.

Expand full comment

*rimshot*

Expand full comment

Just spread 'em around here and there and everywhere else, and pretty soon the entire rest of humanity will be limping around with little bricks embedded in their sorry-ass soles. Toy-Monger Danes For The Win!

Expand full comment

Legos and 4 sided dice

Expand full comment

The Danes make those dice also? CRAP! I HATE those!

Expand full comment

Denmark should be thrilled at the prospect of joining hands across the newly-minted (on Google Maps!) Sea of Trump. Why, if I was a young (white, male) Denmarker, I would be eager to pull myself out of the doldrums of a relatively peaceful, egalitarian, low violence, healthcare-accessible society. Where's the excitement in not knowing what horror awaits around the next corner?

Expand full comment

I'll be going to Greenland in May, and I think I need a lapel pin or something to signal that I do not support the current administration. Suggestions hereby solicited —

Expand full comment

I would send you a vintage 'no nazis' button (swastika w/red diagonal line over it). Still have a small handful from the good ol' days (which in this particular telling were the early 80's).

Expand full comment

A paperclip 📎 was the symbol of resistance in Norway during Nazification efforts. I like the simplicity and the questions it raises. Take several and share them with the explanation when asked.

Expand full comment

Forgot about that, thanks.

Expand full comment

You could get a St. Pauli FC shirt, like my no football with fascists jersey

Expand full comment

I would go with 'Fuck Trump"

Which is well on its way to becoming ubiquitous worldwide.

Expand full comment

...or vicey versy...

Expand full comment

Traditionally one stitches a Canadian flag to one’s backpack in those situations.

Expand full comment

Ha ha, old minds think alike.

Expand full comment

Also the onion on the belt, which was the style at the time.

Expand full comment

One step up from garlic (tho I do register a noticeable absence of vampires)...

Expand full comment

Aren't you supposed to sew a Canadian flag on your backpack? Although that advice might be a little out of date.

And I'm dying to know, why Greenland? You ain't one o' them pointy-headed climate scientists, is you? (it's either that or "seal hunter", then I'm all out of reasons to go to Greenland.)

Expand full comment

'Cause he saw it on a Mercator map and it looks big, bigger than Africa, and without non-White people.

Expand full comment

A billion dollars to whoever can explain spherical projections to Donald Trump.

Expand full comment

does he need to understand?

Expand full comment

there is a soccer tournament there, although I am not sure of the dates

Expand full comment

Looks like it in August

Expand full comment

Playing soccer in Greenland you're gonna freeze more than your federal funding.

Expand full comment

Pretend you're Canadian. I did that when I traveled through Europe during the Bush the Lesser administration.

Expand full comment

Poop emoji pins?

Expand full comment

Canadian flag on one's luggage/backpack/coats -- say eh frequently

Expand full comment

They've got 'marker' right there in the name! Break out my Sharpie!!!!

Expand full comment

FWIW, it's very unlikely that you would be white if you were a Greenlander.

Expand full comment

Otherwise they woulda called it Whiteland and been done with it.

Expand full comment

We can change that! See page 2,973 of Project 2025.

Expand full comment

Somebody needs to tell Trump that, ASAP.

Expand full comment

Maybe the phrase "Frozen Puerto Rico" could be worked into the conversation.

Expand full comment

Al Fresco!

Which could be either my old buddy Alberto Fresco (he was quite fond of the ladies, and they let him know it) or it could be Art I. Ficial, Intelligence Agent Fresco, who hasn't yet figured out how many fingers he's s'poseta have...

Expand full comment

He was also a middle infielder for the 1950's Kansas City Athletics.

Expand full comment

Greenland's population is around 90% Inuit, 7% Danish and there are ~40 USAians out of ~56,000

Expand full comment

Clearly it will be necessary to invade to protect the rights of the ethnic Germans, umm I meant Russians, umm Americans.

Expand full comment

There are 54 Germans, but fewer than 39 Russians

Expand full comment

It would be epic if every civil servant all on the same day showed up for work sporting a t-shirt with a picture of Groucho on it.

Expand full comment

Owowowow!!!

It's me, the "our" in "But we can rely on our eyes and ears and our common sense", crying in indescribable pain. The huge question is just how many that "our" contains. Past/prologue far from enough.

And speaking of yesterday's fuckery with paying bills and stuff, the Mrs was just in here a couple of minutes ago wondering whether the MAGAts had a clue that they were getting fucked. Y'all know or can guess that I went with their incapability to perceive any such thing -- too stupid and/or in love with Donny.

Meanwhile, there's already been some court action but, you know the Roberts court. 'Nuff said. That freezing of payments shouldn't past muster with the Roberts court but they have trouble with consistency. As for the eight month thing, that shouldn't fly at all -- under the Constitution, that's not how that stuff works -- but again, the Roberts court, with that "should" there really, really straining.

As for hope... [negative part self-censored] but properly focused where we have power, sure, of course. The problem is all in the targeting.

Expand full comment

Targeting, yes.

[assume here vast screed listing targets, tactics, etc]

None of this is news. But none of it is discountable either.

Expand full comment

Is that what we're doing here? Targeting? Because while we're up here on the bridge calling for the photon torpedoes, I regret to inform you the rest of the ship is empty.

Expand full comment

Not that kind of targeting but everyday I wish more and more that there were Mangione copycats eager to serve their nation…

Expand full comment

I think the idea of focusing/targeting is getting lost in the noise of reacting to the deliberately generated distractions and insanity which, in turn, the media prefer to report, of course.

Expand full comment

Wouldn't targeting be similar to a Bill of Attainder? A bill of attainder is an act of a legislature declaring a person, or a group of people, guilty of some crime, and providing for a punishment, often without a trial. These are banned by the US Constitution

Expand full comment

SCOTUS has already indicated it doesn't give a shit for precedent but will gladly dredge up legal justifications from 13th Century Germany if need be.

Expand full comment

It's called Strict Originalism, duh.

Expand full comment

Con-Striction in essence.

Expand full comment

Sure, but given a recent decision or two, I’m not sure there’s a majority to back Donny here.

Of course, it’s another boulder on Trumpshit Mountain…

Expand full comment

The only confusing thing about these miscreants is they are legitimately equally cruel AND incompetent, so it's difficult to tell which trait is ascendent when they do something outrageous.

My non-profit sent an email yesterday asking those of us in upper management if we'd be willing to take a temporary pay cut to keep front-line employees paid in full so the organization will be able to continue to provide services to clients.

On a funny note, my favorite news from yesterday was Elon hiring teenagers, and the press refusing to publish their names. "I am here to destroy your democracy but I'm just a smol bean who still does his laundry at Mom's house, please don't put my name in the newspaper." Come the fuck on. When you join the big boys you play by big boy rules.

Expand full comment

You know who else gathered a cadre of teenage boys to train as shock troops....

Expand full comment

The Catholic hierarchy? Steve Bannon and his gladiators? No wait, don't tell me it's on the tip of my tongue...

Expand full comment

See? That's why AI will never win. It can't invoke actual storms, nor generate the troopers therein.

Expand full comment

Father Flanigan at Boys Town? Boko Haram? Or was it the Village People? I think I'm coloring outside the lines. Maybe my book will make it into the Reagan Museum.

Expand full comment

Boko Haram? I thought they said Procol Harum!

Expand full comment

The whiter their shade of pale the better!

Expand full comment

Is one of them named Horst? Good news is we're gonna name a song after you, bad news is...

Expand full comment

he's nothing but a vessel...

Expand full comment

A fine bromance

You won't nestle

A fine bromance

You Horst Wessel

We voted for the woman with the bronze skin

Instead we got the king of all morons kin

A fine bromance

With no tchothckes

A fine bromance

You're all nazchkis

You're always hiding behind yer mama's skirts

Wearing yer new brown shirts

This is a fine bromance

[Can I just put here a really heavy wool blanket apology for all poetry past, present and future and call it good?]

Expand full comment

When you mess with Irving Berlin you best not miss, and you didn't.

Expand full comment

All of this reminds me of nothing so much as post-war Iraq, when the Bush administration sent a bunch of interns over to rebuild the Iraqi government. "Let's set up a stock market!". "Cool idea, dude!". A bunch of teenagers throwing a party on dad's credit card. "Let's freeze all government spending!" "Cool idea, dude!".

Expand full comment

Annnnnnnd Tubby has rescinded the spending freeze. A hero, again! Really inpires confidence.

Expand full comment

Hey, that's exactly what he PLANNED to do, alright?

Expand full comment

Not really. The memo has been rescinded, but the EO the memo was trying to operationalize is still in force. So said the steely, unflinching press secretary. Trumps people are trying to say the rescinding makes the court cases moot, but the state AGs introduced the press secretary's statement

Expand full comment

Funding Freeze Refunded? Unfrozen Fascist Fuckup?

Expand full comment

In other words, we'll still break the law, we just won't *write* about it. Ridiculous.

Expand full comment

They were taking notes on a criminal conspiracy

Expand full comment

I hear there were several quastions from the press that she could not answer. What I did not hear was "Then why in hell are you here?! Go back to the Crapo di Tutti Crapi and get some answers or we'll start asking random crazy people on the streets what's going on and tell the world they are better informed than you!!"

Expand full comment

Not Answering While White (blonde, even!) Here's a large paycheck.

Expand full comment

Rumor is those teens are Elon's nephews

Expand full comment

They all have the proper papers to work in the US? Ha, who am I kidding.

Expand full comment

Trump and his goons remind me of the grade school kid who got hit with a sick burn at recess, couldn’t muster a comeback, and then spent the afternoon in his room coming up with all the awesome things he should have said in response. Except these guys did that for four years, writing all these “killer” executive orders that would totally show everyone and fapping among themselves about how bitchin’ it was gonna be. But since they’re fundamentally idiots who don’t actually know how government works, when they finally get the chance, it’s all a massive clusterfuck that only makes them look dumber.

Expand full comment

Dumber, but they are playing the game by the rules they've observed, which in large measure consist of "Oh, that's an interesting move. Hadn't thought of that. Sure fucks up the game for the rest of us, but what the hell – we can't seem to find anywhere in the rules saying 'cheating not allowed'".

Expand full comment

^ perfect

Expand full comment

"But since they’re fundamentally idiots who don’t actually know how government works, when they finally get the chance, it’s all a massive clusterfuck that only makes them look dumber."

They think government works the way they see it portrayed on Fox News and such. It's White People Shouldn't Have To Pay Taxes, A Continuing Series.

(PS: our AFGE President--I've been retired for over two years, but this is why I still pay union dues--said DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING until further notice. They're a litigious lot, thank goodness.)

Expand full comment

I don't need to know how a wristwatch works to smash it with a hammer.

Expand full comment

They don’t want to smash government. They just want to make it corrupt and inefficient in order to maximize the grift. Fortunately for us, so far they’ve proven pretty horrible at it.

Expand full comment

Well, it's a mixed basket of deplorables. Some truly do want to burn it all down, but they're a small percentage and wouldn't be dangerous outside of the occasional truck bomb if it wasn't for a large mass of car dealers and real estate agents who don't fucking care.

Expand full comment

You need a little bit of knowledge to hit it in a correct spot

Expand full comment

Depends on the size of your hammer, don't it? With this hammer I got here, I hit it in ALL the spots.

Expand full comment

They might be going all Gallegher on us, then.

(Has there ever been a *less* funny comedian than him?"

Expand full comment

Sorry, he's claiming to be a comedian now?

Expand full comment

Really. For the Heratige minions at least, the idea is to make it stop working, since working is the fundamental problem. This is exactly where that nine most terrifying words in the English language leads you.

Expand full comment

Yes, what saved us til now was the politicians yelling "shut it all down!" were all liars and hypocrites, and once they got themselves firmly fastened to the government teat, shutting it all down was the last thing they wanted.

But decades of that rhetoric left tens of millions with an appetite to see it really happen, all that was needed was a leader with truly epic levels of Don't Give a Shit.

Expand full comment

Can confirm, when the Project 2025 text is full of vintage 2021 beefs that we obviously need to resolve now

Expand full comment

"Why, I heard about this one school library..." says 2021.

Expand full comment

"Well."

2 marks.

Expand full comment

Not gonna lie, "Tubby hits the wall" made me spew my morning tea all over my blouse 🤣

Expand full comment

This is a perfect illustration of why one must never wear clothes.

Expand full comment

"Yeah, but you shoulda seen the WALL!"

Expand full comment

Hard pass, unless you're not wearing any clothes when you show me.

Expand full comment

If Ol' Joe couldn't overcome the "will of Congress" to cancel government Student Loans, then Shitler can't stop all gummint spending he doesn't like...

The "Gulf of America"is the yawning, ever widening gap between tRump/GOP/Foxnoose and Reality.

Expand full comment

Ohhhh, "Shitler". That's a dandy.

Google Maps has already said, no we ain't changing the name.

Expand full comment

The original source was a Google twit on "X" that Reuters asked Google about, and got referred to the twit. I think it's Lone Skum trolling...

If only somebody would give the guy a bass boat...

Expand full comment

Oh, and a great big lake with no cell coverage...

Expand full comment

Hmmmm. Lone Skum trolling...dead man walking...let's put a hole in the boat.

Expand full comment

The 'hole is Skum hisself.

Expand full comment

L. Ron Musth, on a bass boat, in the lake. Suggest a Fredo II in Lake Mead.

Expand full comment

Can I get some kind of news-delay widget where it just holds on to the news for a day or two and then filters out all the shit we NOW know is shit?

Expand full comment

Sorry pal – yer brain is on its own.

Expand full comment

Can confirm Denali is still Denali

Expand full comment

And not just a river in Egypt.

Expand full comment

A stretch, but the judges, having lived thru the first week of the 47th Reich, are in a 'ah WTF, who gives a shit' mood and let it pass.

Expand full comment

The area around the mountain can not easily be changed. The mountain name is to be changed

Expand full comment

As of this morning, the body of water as shown in googlemaps offshore of Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and Florida is still named The Gulf of Mexico (Golfo de Mexico, for the differently languaged), so there's that...

Expand full comment

"Well, there's good news and bad news" "What's the good news?" "The Gulf of Mexico has been renamed". "Excellent! What's the bad news?" "It's been renamed The Gulf of South Jebusland".

Expand full comment

Alt. version:

"Damn. We just got the largest unfettered donation ever in the history of graft!"

"What are we gonna do about it?"

"Well, based on the donor I am purty certain that southron body of water's gonna be the Gulf of Oil from now on."

Expand full comment

When I googed Gulf Oil this morning I got a completely different front page. Weird (but slick).

Expand full comment

Gulf Oil Wrestling?

Expand full comment

How do I know that doesn't go to some website about what kind of foil I should use to wrap my guls, huh?

Expand full comment

Hearted, tho I must say it reads a little too close to home, if you know what I mean, and if you do, please explain.

Expand full comment

I thought the foil went on the other end.

Expand full comment

Congress passed a law that essentially said the President could cancel loans. SCOTUS read that to mean the Pres couldn't cancel all loans

Expand full comment

Yes! Buy out all those federal employees who want to get out! Like those air traffic controllers! The ones who are already fully vested for retirement, and the ones that FAA STILL hasn't figured out how to replace! Yeah! Let all those guys and gals walk out the door with 8 months of pay, their retirement, and full federal healthcare for life! Just think of the savings!

Of course, having air traffic grind to a trickle might be a wee bit inconvenient for, um, well, everyone.

Watching these clodpates try to impose Project 2025 is like watching a grade-school kid trying to "fix" a 747. Only a distorted big picture of what the thing does, not even a vague clue as to how any of the systems work, and much less than a vague clue as to how any of them work together. But they got hammers and pry bars, so they'll have this thing back in the air in no time!

Expand full comment

In a clodpate's brain: "I reckon I could fix one a them planes. I got the lawnmower going again that one time, didn't need no fancy schooling for that."

Expand full comment

[insert then delete snide remark re: "well, it IS Boeing..."]

Expand full comment

Okay, but how hard can a plane be, once you've mastered virology and wildfire science just by listening to Rogan?

Expand full comment

Fair, tho I cannot confirm, having not listened to the gentleman myself.

Expand full comment

Funny how we still have all these educational institutions around that waste YEARS teaching people stuff like medicine and engineering when you can apparently learn anything in the world from a one-hour podcast.

Expand full comment

"one-hour podcast" ha ha, these alt-right dipshit pods are all like THREE hours long and you're expected to listen to the whole thing - MULTIPLE episodes, even - before you can criticize the host because something something context.

Expand full comment

Hard Pass 2: The Snoozing

Expand full comment

That they have time for this suggests gummint workers ain't the only ones phonin' it in at work.

Expand full comment

Reagan proved air traffic controllers are an unnecessary expense.

Expand full comment

Put Barron in charge. He likes video games.

Expand full comment

I thought he was good at the cyber

Expand full comment

Yeah, so did John de Lancie in Breaking Bad.

Expand full comment

Air traffic controllers pshaw, they'll grind the WHOLE FUCKING GOVERNMENT to a halt while they scurry around looking for doubleplusungood wokethink to Sharpie out of the text.

Expand full comment

In Trump's America, air traffic controls YOU.

Expand full comment

Also, too--I'm waiting for Trump to just unilaterally declare that the Medicare and Social Security payments will no longer be sent out. Too expensive, and he's declared an "economic emergency" that gives him the power to do so. Good times ahead!

Expand full comment

Us geezers will shiv a bitch if they touch SS. Not that I want it to happen, but it would be funny to watch Tubby try to fight off an uprising of enraged grampas and grammies.

Expand full comment

I read 'shiv a bitch' and I hear

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lk1l2x46HO4

Bless you.

Expand full comment

Like I told the wife, only a dictator could get away with killing Social Security, which is the reason it hasn't happened yet.

Oh wait ...

Expand full comment

And their children, who without SS will have to support them. And their children's children, who will also thereby suffer the loss of their patrimony, if that's the word I want.

Expand full comment

"Just a twinkle in Grandad's eye, never to be, 'cause NOBODY can afford a kid anymore."

Expand full comment

Republicans to young people: "Why aren't you buying houses!?!?! Why aren't you having children!?!?!?!"

Also Republicans to young people: "You expect to be paid a living wage? And you want some help with the $100,000 worth of student loans you have? And your health insurance is only $12,000 a year? WTF is wrong with you kids, demanding soooo much like coddled softees!"

Expand full comment

It's almost like you're suggesting that SS money, government salaries, Medicaid payments and so forth actually fuel the economy as a whole. Huh.

Expand full comment

Government spending now accounts for more than a third of our whole economy. Check all around the world, and every single affluent country spends a similar percentage of GDP on government. Wonder why?

Expand full comment

Nobody seems to remember Felon Smuk declaring back in September that the US economy needed another Great Depression "to set things right." Well, he's working on cratering the economy to produce his desired result: 1/3 of the working population starving and willing to work for food.

Expand full comment

Yeah. & Kansas havin' a large TB outbreak right now (largest in US history, by one estimate)...just another data point...

"How's yer Depression?"

"Great"

Expand full comment

But workers will have to pay into FICA

Expand full comment

Yep, it's hitting the Republicans in their most sensitive spot - their wallets. And how lame can you get, "Biden Did It First" (if so, so what?) and "some bureaucrat shut down the system" is the purest bullshit, and I have some passing experience in that regard, 40 years worth, in fact.

And the hits will keep on coming. I hope Columbia makes coffee $20 for a regular cup. That will make MAGA happy....not.

Expand full comment

"Well, Maisie Jo, I guess it's back to th' chicory fer us...always knew we might need it – glad I kep' some in the larder"

Expand full comment

And in business news, "All My Sons" has been renamed to "All My Sons Minus Two".

Expand full comment

That right there is an Oof.

Expand full comment

"Say bro, that bridge looks kinda low" "Yeah, maybe we should.." BAM! and then they were mucilage (h/t Max from "Sam & Max")

Expand full comment

I have always felt it unfair that the Russkis have cornered alla the human stupidity video content. We need to close the gap!

'Stuck Trucks' should be an entire major energy sucking section of the internet. That and 'Big Trains That Lie On Their Sides', 'Humongous Boats Sitting High and Dry', and 'Large Building Demos That Went Wrong'.

Expand full comment

General Buck Turgidson: "We cannot have a stupidity video gap!"

Expand full comment

"Gentlemen! You can't shoot stupidity videos in here! This is Sec. Hegseth's office!!"

Expand full comment

and...when I clicked Hegseth to be certain I'd spelled it correctly, this is what Apple's in-app search produced:

"Wikipedia

Pete Hegseth

This affidavit is part of a disturbing pattern of behavior that has been documented through numerous public and private reports. The affidavit also raises additional questions about the thoroughness of his FBI background check during a rushed confirmation process."

Expand full comment

It's already online in Boston: https://www.universalhub.com/yir/2024/storrowing

Expand full comment

Thanks for that, I learned a new verb today!

Expand full comment

Your welcome. I look forward to 'Large Building Demos That Went Wrong'

Expand full comment

(Took me a minute.)

Expand full comment

So everyone who works directly for the government, as well as those who work for entities fully or partially funded by the government, is basically at a standstill. What are they supposed to be doing, do they have the funding to continue on their projects, whose job will be there tomorrow, when with the confusion end, etc. I saw the memo that was mandated (with instructions to NOT CHANGE A WORD) via a friend who works for an NGO that runs partly on Congressionally mandated funding. It was both vague and threatening. How does the reality of millions of workers not working fit in with the mission of DOGE? Asking for a friend.

Expand full comment

Tell yer friend...good luck collecting...

Expand full comment

Also, and slightly aside: I just went to the NYT article list with brief description all of the 2600 federal programs suspended yesterday. When I went to comment (what's that? what'd i say? Patience, friend) the comment page went into complete circularity between the article, the comment box, the sign in to comment page...that is to say: the Times is broken right now due to ...?

My comment was gonna be "OK, Now list what was NOT blocked, please."

Expand full comment

Funny how ICE continues to operate.

Expand full comment

Priorities!

Expand full comment

Sure. Gotta get it all done before global warming liquidates ICE.

Expand full comment

Whoa, just connected the dots there, where is there a really enormous supply of naturally-occurring ice, huh? NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE.

Expand full comment

I cannot find the video (aka I can't be arsed to find the video) on Reddit somewhere that a guy who got a $2.1 million payout from his father's will, and spent all the non-debt money buying Trump Media stock. Needless to say, he lost the whole pot.

He will lose his home, his wife is leaving him, and when he posted the story he literally had a brown paper bag over his head. Phineas Taylor Barnum was an optimist.

Expand full comment

Alt: pessimist

"Dammit! A sucker a minute ain't NEAR enough!!"

Expand full comment

Yeah, I realized that was a point of view thing....and in his case, the wrong one.

2 marks to you, sir. I knew that was going to bite me in the ham.

Expand full comment

Relax, pal – I'm vegetarian.

Expand full comment

I read a story about a MAGA who is flummoxed that his Venezuelan wife was deported. They wouldn't do it to ME, right???

Expand full comment

Me dark little heart cackles at such news. The realization will hit, eventually - dudes, ya'll done screwed yourself. But thank you for your vote to bring in the New Guilded Age, helping the poor poor billionaires who just weren't making money fast enough. Sucker!

Expand full comment

Mine too, but then, like the idiotic liberal I am, I always think about the blameless kids (presumably there are kids, if not here then in otherwise identical situations) being screwed around, and then I'm just sad. :(

Expand full comment

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to wander the earth without a conscience, the way these folks do. It sounds like it would be convenient but then my conscience pricks me . . .

Expand full comment

As a narcissist in recovery, I have to say having only a highly conditional conscience feels pretty good! My inference is that having *no* conscience must be awesome, but you probably have to be born that way

Expand full comment

Yoicks!

Expand full comment

Wasn't it Sinclair Lewis who said "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the STUPIDEST FUCKING PEOPLE ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET?" I might have that quote wrong, not sure.

Expand full comment

Rapt in their bibles and polishing their guns with a shredded old flag...

Expand full comment

Close enough

Expand full comment

Bible + Flag combo is the generally-recognized signifier of "stupidest fucking" when it comes to people.

Expand full comment

You left out one thing...but we're only in the first act, so we're safe for now...

Expand full comment

Many thanks to Roy for this. Just the right tone, especially after what amounts to OMB phishing the entire civil service ("Just send code 'RETIRE,' for cash back offer!")

What I'm keeping in mind is the "running the government" [into the ground] is outsourced to Heritage and Elno. Tubby's the front man who captivates the morons, but the mouth foaming of Russell Vought doesn't seem destined to land as successfully.

Expand full comment

McVoughtamous has not the sort of personality that inspires anything much except "LET ME OUTTA HERE!!"

Expand full comment

But Roy's right, they trotted out a purty girl with purty hair in a purty dress yesterday, and she spoke complete sentences in defending Tubby. Newsworthy!

Expand full comment

The goal, as always, is to "Fire The N*****s" and that it's been put in the hands of Afrikaner L. Ron Musth is what makes it especially heinous.

Expand full comment

Multiple goals, always. Deconstruct the Administrative State and the bonus is gutting the Black middle class. We know they've always planned revenge, but going for LBJ's 1965 EO gives of sense of just how long they work toward it. Nikole Hannah-Jones had a good thread on this: https://bsky.app/profile/nhannahjones.bsky.social/post/3lgebfy4jl224

Expand full comment

Yes. I'm a retired postal worker, USPS is one of the leading employers of minorities (39% of the workforce) and women (40%). Federal jobs helped create the middle class, especially for minorities and women. It's a glaring reason why the Heritage Foundation and other reactionary folks hate the federal workers/ "bureaucracy".

Expand full comment

Reminder that Wilson's Postmaster General, Texan (and son of a Confederate Army officer) Albert Burleson, led the charge to re-segregate the Federal Government.

Expand full comment

Ah, Woodrow Motherfuckin' Wilson. Is he the only college professor who ever became President? Because if he was, let's not elect another one.

Expand full comment

Cagey, that Wilson...

Expand full comment

But wait, there's more! Federales invaded California and turned on the big faucet. In the tradition of Big Kahunas immemorial, Trump controls the weather. Not the Democrats, false attribution by MTG. Space lasers, Jewish or of other persuasion, yet to be confirmed.

California, don't you know, where the Marxist transgender-affirming and, er, what was them other folk we don't want to fund? FEMA aid for fire victims? Out here we have it all. Pay no attention to the fat man in the golf cart. Cue the jugglers and parades with large phallic projectiles.

Expand full comment

Whoa, WHOA – slow down, pal! I'm just tryna make good on the insurance payments...don't roil the boil!

Weirdly, and slipping into real-world mode for a moment, our insurance* did NOT go up at the end of last year (yeah, before the Big Flameout but after the previous one, and the Big Slosh). So we are still afloat cost-coveringwise. And further yeah, and to be fair – it is a solid concrete building, surrounded by pretty much nothing flammable for miles.

*State Farm, missing a chance, apparently...

Expand full comment

A spider, crawlin' the web in the employ of State Farm, picked up this little comment and sent an alert to headquarters: MONEY LEFT ON THE TABLE.

Expand full comment