BOLT UPRIGHT: Good morning. I’m Bolt Upright welcoming you to Received Opinion. My guests this morning are Republican Senatorial candidate Flip Carton, Republican Congressional candidate Marcy Patty Joni, Republican Party deputy chairman Justin Sandervanocur IV, and MAGA paramilitary leader Generalissimo Bud Crinkle. Today we’re going to talk about something Senator Lindsey Graham said a few days ago, quote, “If they tried to prosecute President Trump for mishandling classified information after Hillary Clinton set up a server in her basement, there literally will be riots in the street.” These remarks have stirred some controversy and we’d like to get the savvy inside skinny from these Washington insiders, and from the Generalissimo as well. Mr. Carton, we’ll start with you. Was Senator Graham absolutely right or just slightly over the top?
CARTON: Bolt, I don’t think you can possibly be too over the top when it comes to this great country of ours and when it comes to our great leader, President Trump, and Senator Graham has proven himself a loyal and reliable supporter of both. I am sure that the Senator meant every word of what he said, and that he also meant every word of what he said when he said he rejected violence. It is actually the radical communist Democrats who are the real rioters and proponents of violence. Certainly you remember just a few short years ago this very city of Washington was burned to the ground by Black Lives Matters and antifa — the White House, the Washington Monument, Ford’s Theater and its gift shop, all of it totally destroyed — and that’s what the Senator is against and I join him in denouncing Joe Biden’s call for antifa BLM riots in our streets.
UPRIGHT: Ms. Joni, your reaction?
JONI: Absolutely one hunerdt percent, Americans are sick to the eye-teeth of communist race hustler robbing and raping and rhyming and stealing and Lindsey Graham is one hunerdt percent right to call out this so-called President and his so-called half-black Vice so-called President for not only stealing the election and selling us out to the Chinese for his crackhead son and shooting us full of fetus microchips, but adding insult to injustice by calling his antifa Gestapo to riot against decent sovereign citizens and we will not stand for it any longer because God is on our side and it is to him and to President Trump that we are faithful, not to any so-called Capitol Police.
UPRIGHT: Alright. We go now to Mr. Sandervanocur.
SANDERVANOCUR: Look, I don’t think anyone disagrees that Joe Biden’s reign of terror has swept through this country worse than any riot, I mean with gas now up to fifty dollars a gallon and government bureaucrats forcing our farmers to step on the flag and use sacrilegious pronouns, and street criminals in blue liberal cities killing our brave police officer by touching them with fentanyl-laced dollar bills, it’s no wonder that decent people are rising up, and claiming their Second Amendment right to, and I want to be clear so I’m not misunderstood and my words aren’t twisted, to kill liberals and federal agents who are also liberals and anybody who is suspected of being transsexual or a liberal or federal agents who are liberal, transsexual, and abortionist if that’s what it takes to bring this country back and make America great again.
UPRIGHT: OK. Generalissimo.
CRINKLE: I don’t have to say anything. Everything I have to say these people already said. I’m surprised to be honest. Years of people laughing at me. I guess they still do. Stubby little man with an eyepatch, talking about overthrowing the government. Even my own family. It’s OK. I just want to burn it down, this stupid country, full of scum, just make it pure. Now they’re doing it for me. If they know why, great, if they don’t so what. It’s a surprise is all I’m saying. You will not have heard what I said and you will not remember it.
UPRIGHT: Thank you, Generalissimo, and thanks to our panel. Coming up: Biden calls Republicans “semi-fascist.” Is this the gaffe that will sink his presidency?
Well, well, well...
"Ford’s Theater and its gift shop"
You get 2 marks for that alone.
It's the funniest thing I've read since yesterday's Trump Truthism® "Why are people so mean?!"
But jeez, Roy – you gotta stop inventing all those names in just one post – if you are in it for the long haul you gotta pace yerself!
Beautiful. Love how you capture the shitstream of semi-consciousness of these looney tunes, Ms. Joni is a peach. I wouldn't be surprised if "fetus microchips" doesn't soon appear in their lexicon of buzzword gibberish.