60 Comments
Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

That there guy up top has bolts but they ain't upright!

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

What I wanna know is where did Jackson come up with that brilliant redirection? Seems outside his remit.

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

Roy's characterizations occasionally show flashes of intelligence they would never exhibit in real life, just to keep things interesting.

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

I know, what a great story Mags had! Except for the part that (I think) it's uncorroborated. Still, Fake Tubby looked like absolute shit entering the courtroom. The story's so feeble and I'm so old I flash back to Judy Miller's historic page 1 (albeit below the fold) scoop of being told by some army putz what someone off in the distance was telling another Army all of which Miller reported not as how the Army bullshits a reporter but reporting what she was told as fact.

Meanwhile, I still don't understand how Obama chose to have the alcoholic RWNJ cracker Jackson as his WH physician.

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

Sleepy Don on THE FIRST DAY. Imagine what it is gonna do to him the next couple months. Catatonia, I tell ya! It could very well look precisely like Roy's pageant above. Random smacks to the face of his nearest solicitor, self-faceplants galore, an occasional bellow (and the subsequent duck tape applications)...

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His defense team will invest in some of those "eyes-wide-open" glasses like Homer Simpson wore while on the jury

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

Now you’re making me cu— I mean putting me in an excessive state of excitement picturing Trump’s decline over the next couple of months in addition to his ever growing insanity.

And in tribute to Roy (and Noel Cassler), I’m finding the idea that Trump (famously a self-proclaimed teetotaler) is fucked up out of his mind during his public performances.

Whatever Haberman claimed, Trump at least looked like shit entering the courtroom… And yes, I like to think he was and had been crashing from a high at the time…

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

All hail the court artists – by gadfry, they must be deliriously amused.

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

Wait! Did a court artist catch the old man doing the old man thing and nodding off??

I've been contemplating that edited courtroom sketch from the civil fraud suit that showed white Republican Jesus supporting the Don. (That that is not treated as a blasphemy is another issue, yet not one wholly irrelevant.) Hope to see a repeat of that for this trial.

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

I'm sure drugs of some kind were involved, but what does it say about Trump's malfeasance and the sheer extent of his legal jeopardy across multiple jurisdictions on multiple charges that he could be a defendant in a criminal case and just doze off? Like, ho-hum, just another boring day in court for me, lol.

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

"Wake me up when we get to the one about how I tried to overthrow the government."

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Apr 16·edited Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

Hey, according to Justice Gorsuch in today's oral arguments re: the J6 defendants, the Capitol rioters trying to stop the certification of votes for a democratically elected President were no worse than the state legislator who pulled a fire alarm.

The J6 rioters: those little scamps!

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

Pulled the fire alarm and then threw a fire extinguisher at the head of the cop who responded? Oh, J6 rioters, I can't stay mad at you!

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He's either gonna doze off, or go ballistic. No middle restrained option possible. He can't fucking shut up outside of court, and when he loses it IN court he's at the very least going to be confined in a separate room while hearing what goes on, so dozing off looks like the best outcome even if it falsifies the whole "Sleepy Joe" trope.

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"confined in a separate room"

I say we bring in a changing room from Bonwit's just for this purpose.

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

Homage To Catatonia

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

After Trump fell asleep in court, I half expected today's NYT headline to be "Trump's Coolness Under Pressure is Bad News for Joe Biden."

Trump's legal team really should consider the feasibility of placing him in a medically-induced coma as part of their strategy. It will at least prevent him from incurring any contempt of court charges.

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

"The Court takes the defendant's lack of response to mean he does indeed accept the motion to vacate him to some far-distant inhospitable island with no phone or internet service and no land higher than 4ft above sea level with a mean high tide of 9ft. So ordered."

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surprised the press didn't label it a 'power nap'.

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Apr 17·edited Apr 17

Oh.

OH.

2 marks.

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Apr 16·edited Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

I can picture Roy sitting in his office, coworker sticks his head in the door,

"I'll have those reports ready here in a bit"

Roy responds"Thanks Tom!" Then goes back to typing -

,"Hey Hitler! Mommy sucky sucky!"

Roy rereads the sentence and smiles.

This was funny shitI I was hoping Dr Ronnie would get his ass beat again.

Funny how you get attached to continuing characters. Like Mary Worth.

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

Hearted for that "Like" in the last sentence.

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

"attached to" meaning you want to see them get their ass beat repeatedly? That's not any part of Mary Worth that I recognize.

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

Last I saw was Mary being stalked by a creep who she rejected firmly enough he drove off a cliff. Or was it the meth lab story?

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Last I saw there was the ex-marine that was replacing a fake-hippy in a young ladies life before she got too left-wing

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Did they have a subplot where Mary got pregnant out of wedlock and gave the baby up for adoption to a nice Mexican family who named him Jesus?

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Santa Maria! Madre de Dios!

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Three-handed Mary of Worth!

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3 marks!

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Everybody knows you are a big Wilbur-stan Worriedman. It's one reason we worry about you!

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

Good stuff: check and see if Admiral Doctor Cowboy Congressman isn’t actually from the Insane Gator State, but the other insane megastate, Texas.

Ronnie should get a Dr. Of Divinity degree (i think they’re running for $100 from the Universal Life Church: cheap!) so now that he’s Exadmiral, he can add Reverend to his bona fides…

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

I assumed there's a form in the back of the trumpybiblebook the ADCC can fill in and send off to Trumpy U for a doctorate in whatever he wants (for the princely sum of $14.95)...

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

Hey, Indiana, Ohio, and Idaho are working hard to rise to wingnut greatness.

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

I really miss Dr. Harold "Healthiest Individual Ever Elected to the Presidency" Bornstein. He had a very promising Dr. Gonzo vibe.

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2018/05/02/607638733/doctor-trump-dictated-letter-attesting-to-his-extraordinary-health

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

That guy was to doctors what Trump's lawyers are to lawyers.

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

Funny, I when heard about Trump snoozing, I assumed he didn’t sleep very well the night before. It takes a lot less stressful intrusive thought to keep me up in the middle of the night than “Shit, I’m gonna be on trial and I’m gonna lose! No, I can’t lose, I’m a winner! But my lawyers are shit! And the judge hates me, maybe i shouldn’t have ragged on his daughter. And the jury is gonna be New Yorkers - are there any New Yorkers I haven’t screwed over? What if we moved it to Queens? Naw, they hate me there, too. Now Staten Island, they love me there, right? I’m a winner in Staten Island. Jeez, how’s that for pathetic, Staten Island? I’m such a loser! No, no, stop it, I’m a winner!” and so on for hours till dawn breaks over Trump Tower, soon to be seized when the Knight Insurance bond is thrown out (a 2014 statement from Charles Schwab? Sure, Bunky).

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

Minsky pickup FTW!

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I prefer humbuckers

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I get it.

Took me awhile.

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

This is exactly what Trump and his handlers are most terrified of -- him being forced into a public forum where they can't control the vertical or the horizontal. The old lawyer's adage 'you never ask a question you don't already know the answer to' is scaled up, down, and sideways to unexplored quantum depths, breadths, and heights with Trump. How can you dare put the old prick in a live spotlight when you have no idea what's going to come out of his mouth? He might actually get up and threaten the judge in front of several hundred witnesses, and then he's GOT to go to jail. There are certain things the justice system simply can't tolerate and won't do no matter how corrupt or deferential to power it may be, and not holding Trump in contempt when he's standing there screaming abuse and death threats at the judge and his family is one of them. (Another is granting anything remotely like blanket Presidential immunity. Thomas, Alito, Kavenaugh, and Roberts might be dumb enough to let that fly with a Republican in the Oval, but they'd never do it with Joe; Joe might have them arrested the minute after they sign that opinion.)

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"they can't control the vertical or the horizonal." Nor can they change the focus to a soft blur, or sharpen it to crystal clarity, amirite?

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

Demon with a crass brand

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We are all about to participate in a great adventure.

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

Don Snoreleone is getting roasted over on Xwitter. He won’t be able to stop himself from responding. Streisand Effect. And that was Day One.

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--and there's a meme, with suitable paperback book font, of "The Nodfather."

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Naptime for Hitler

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

Nah, you're all wrong, these trials are HELPING him, not hurting him! I talked to a half-dozen people who had waited four hours outside in the cold to get into a Trump rally and they were all more charged-up for him than ever before!

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Maybe, but more press personnel than admirers at the court today. OK, it is New York...

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

I SO want to hear the judge say, "Mr. Trump, are we keeping you awake?"

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

"Like I was on drugs.

[JACKSON opens his mouth, thinks better of it.]"

Supplements, they're fucking SUPPLEMENTS, like Alex Jones sells, Alex takes his own stuff and you'd never know, sure he talks really fast like a cokehead but he's DEDICATED, the tip of the spear, and he doesn't do the show stinkin' drunk more than every other week

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

He's gettin' ready for the Enhanced Games! They're ENHANCEMENTS!

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

It's a mob trial; Trumpov has cast himself in the role of Teflon Donnie. Except there's all this live-on-video evidence of him trying to overthrow the government.

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author

The wingnuts on SCOTUS are paving a path for him right now!

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

I think former admiral Ronny Jackson is actually a rep from the state of TX, not FL. Although they are interchangeably horrible states right now, and I'm sure many Floridians would gleefully accept him as their rep...

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author

Oops, fixed

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

"interchangeably horrible states"

Agreed, they're all deplorable, just put them in this basket I've got right here.

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Apr 16Liked by Roy Edroso

This stuff doesn't even seem over the top anymore. Still funny tho :)

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