90 Comments
User's avatar
Claire März's avatar

Ripped from the headlines. "like a beanbag chair" -- ouch. I love that Tubby's pop culture references are 150 years old. (Note: I got them. Ugh.)

SundayStyle's avatar

I even know who Eydie Gorme was. Jesus Christ. Do they still make Geritol?

ssdd's avatar

More importantly do they still advertise it? “My wife. I don’t know how she does it.”

Claire März's avatar

"She STILL does everything while I sit on my ass."

ssdd's avatar

“I think I’ll keep her.”

SteveB's avatar

Beer: Helping men sit on their ass for more than a thousand years!

Pere Ubu's avatar

"And now it's national policy!"

SnarkiNorski's avatar

"Sank you Bobby and Cissi. Dat was a real toe-tapper. And now these words from Geritol."

Ellis Weiner's avatar

"And wenn we cahm back, the luffly Lennon sisters will sing "Slow Boat to China."

rfc's avatar

Yeah, but Roy's a little younger than me. Where'd he ever hear of the Tres Panchos, 'cause I never did?!?

Roy Edroso's avatar

The wife is a fan.

Bern's avatar

New York LEGENDS!

Rand Careaga's avatar

The albums of “Trio Los Panchos,” as the act was then known, were in regular rotation (heh,heh) in the Careaga household when I was a nipper and beyond. The associations are not uniformly positive. The parental units would host parties from time to time, and a pattern emerged: when “El Burro Socarron” was heard, it was a signal that 𝘌𝘭 𝘈𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘰 had reached a stage of cheerful intoxication that would inevitably be followed by an abrupt darkening of his mood and the hasty departures of the guests. It had been many years since one of these episodes, but when in my teens I heard the opening bars of the song one festive evening I slipped away from the premises and betook myself for a very long walk. I discovered upon my return that the front window of the darkened house had been broken. This was not alluded to at breakfast or at any time before the glaziers arrived, or indeed thereafter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djNBW5qayOA

(As the readers are undoubtedly aware, the Panchos were avowed and ardent communists, which is why they adopted as one of their standards the song “Bessemer Mucho,” composed to celebrate the modernization of the Soviet steel industry under the Second Five Year Plan. Or so I’ve been told.)

Pere Ubu's avatar

I've got that rolled-up newspaper here SOMEWHERE.

Hairless in Gaza's avatar

I think we all do

Roy Edroso's avatar

Listen buddy I still remember Ted Mack pushed Geritol AND the theme music!

henry sholar's avatar

my mother auditioned for Ted Mack. it didn't work out.

Worriedman's avatar

There's always this! Which is both credible and incredible at the same time-

https://youtu.be/VgGBB0hTqo0?si=foZiuu2WXXyTf-Py

It's really a lovely arrangement.

Whipstitch's avatar

Pedantry alert...Geritol was an iron supplement and it turned out excess iron wasn't good for us old folks after all.

SundayStyle's avatar

The phrase "Iron-poor tired blood" just popped into my mind.

Roy Edroso's avatar

You remind me of an Italian comic's joke I heard years ago about things found in a salumeria:

"They have 'Beef Iron & Wine,' which is what my wife does all day."

SteveB's avatar

Italy has a Catskills?

Bern's avatar

I Gattiuccidono!

Hairless in Gaza's avatar

OMG I am gonna inflict this on the resident Yout's

Tehanu's avatar

Actually I'm a big fan of Eydie Gorme; I have her recording of a bunch of boleros (Sabor a Mi, Noche de Ronda, Nosotros, etc.) which I highly recommend.

chrome agnomen's avatar

porter rican and lady googah had me chuckling, but 'like a beanbag chair' is where I lost it.

SteveB's avatar

like a beanbag chair

fucking for the very first time

henry sholar's avatar

i thought, well, vance might could develop a little crush on the noem.

Bern's avatar

Must feel like a beanbag chair by now.

Is the 2-marker we've been waiting for.

Rand Careaga's avatar

My housemates and I had a beanbag chair for a while in (natch) the early seventies. The thing was retired after the cat began employing it as a sandbox. The former neighbors here at The Crumbling Manse™ once deposited a large piece of furniture on the sidewalk for a scheduled “bulky waste pickup.” It bore a paper sign reading “Free cat piss – couch included.”

ssdd's avatar

“Enrico Es-spicko” got me! Good work Roy!

SundayStyle's avatar

I'd just like to note this is further proof that Trump is slipping. I mean the "bad" in Bad Bunny was RIGHT THERE.

SteveB's avatar

For his audience, "Conejo Malo" would sound so much more sinister. And look, it's the same name as that 5 year old we're tryin' to throw in prison! CONNECT THE DOTS SHEEPLE

henry sholar's avatar

that was a masterful dot connection, sir.

Ellis Weiner's avatar

Well, more like "Conejito."

Sign me,

Mr. Picky

Bern's avatar

Minsky gotta lot more to do than just pick up...

Howlin Wolfe's avatar

Yeah … 7 notes. What a piker!

SteveB's avatar

Get it down to 5 notes and you'd be the quicker picker upper

Howlin Wolfe's avatar

The Bounty pickup!

Bern's avatar

As Los Tres Panchos say, Ai Yi Yi!

Manqueman's avatar

"I remember when they sang in Spanish, they went from table to table, serenading you, and they had straw hats, like those Tres Panchos..."

Just for the record, I'm reasonably familiar with the pedo POTUS' scumbag parents' favorite restaurants (per Mary Trump)--grew up a couple of blocks away from it--and it wasn't class enough to have any musicians. So crappy a dump--it was a bar with pretensions--that my parents never took us there.

"What it’s like fucking her face? Must feel like a beanbag chair by now."

I had been wondering (before I'd stop caring). I know nothing about that kind of plastic surgery beyond whether I like it or grosses me out but her face looks like stuff's hardening and, yes, it looks lumpy. Ah, she'll use taxpayer monies to get it fixed eventually, I suppose...

"TRUMP: Yeah, he’s a midget. [To TERCERA] You don’t care if I call you a midget, do you, Sid?

TERCERA: Not at the rate you’re paying, Mr. President!"

Trump paying, let alone good money, and not stiffing? That's a bridge too far for me credibility-wise. You know Sid's getting stiffed.

And speaking of said bridge, I'd like to think Woods would in fact have no issue appearing in Donny's production.

And for that matter, the only thing that would stop me from assuming Donny is a pedo who molested and maybe even raped his then underage daughter is conclusive proof. A skit like this wouldn't work for me. (After, he got plastic surgery to uglify her because he's piece of shit whose aesthetic judgment is let's say defective. BTW, I asked my AI search bot about Melania's Trump disfigurement and its initial response relied on public statements from her or Trump. Suffice to say, I told the bot to try harder.)

Pedo. Epstein.

'Nuff said.

Claire März's avatar

Like the plumbers and drywall hangers of Queens back in the 60s, Sid doesn't know yet he'll never see the money.

Manqueman's avatar

Just for that a rerun:

Last winter, apropos nothing, while the plumber fixing a pipe, the plumber, son of two people who spent their formative years in Nazi-occupied Holland says: "I did work as a Trump property but made sure I got paid up front." I chose not to disillusion him and tell it that other than the name on the dump, the Trumps had nothing to do with the place. (He also said that he didn't understand how his peeps could support the Don; see that reference to the bloodline.)

redoubtagain's avatar

Yeah, Too Deranged For James Woods is something I don't think we will ever see. (And I hope somewhere Sean Young is with loving family and friends 'cause "I told you so" isn't remotely enough.)

Manqueman's avatar

James Woods I don't want to see period thanks.

Too scared to see where Sean Young's at now...

Hairless in Gaza's avatar

[in "Mike Ehrmentrout" voice] Oh, c'mon, you can buff those lumps right out

Manqueman's avatar

As I showed, I know nothing about this stuff, so a) you're probably correct and b) if you are, I want to see the work done on Noem. Whirwhirwhir!!!

rfc's avatar

I saw the ever-reliable Megyn Kelly's remarks on the halftime show, and it was the first time I felt that applying the term "hysterical" to a woman was not sexist or overwrought. Jeez, lady, get over it already — didn't West Side Story come out sixty years ago?!?!

Claire März's avatar

She's left Laura Ingraham and Ann Coulter in the dust. Just impressive levels of (faux) hysteria, hate, and racism.

SteveB's avatar

"Football is ours!" like we're dividin' up the furniture in our national divorce.

Claire März's avatar

And pale pink Santy Claus. Don't take that from me.

SnarkiNorski's avatar

Remember the brief period when she was one of the "Good Republicans" NBC tried to help rehabilitate (aka the Scarborough Treatment)? So weird that didn't take.

SteveB's avatar

Where "Tried to help rehabilitate" meant "Threw millions of dollars at"?

SnarkiNorski's avatar

Like that time years ago when they tried to make Ezra Klein happen on MSNBC. It was an abundance of failure.

SteveB's avatar

Well, we know there are no genuine leftists capable of hosting a TV show, so what choice do we have but to fill the roster with Democratic Centrists and former Republicans.

That's the thing about these young Democratic Socialists, so tongue-tied and incapable of communicating.

Databoy's avatar

I laughed along with Minsky! Da-dat-da, da-da-donk, BOING!!

henry sholar's avatar

this just in time for the el paso business. solid gold satire atop a mainstem to the collective subconscious. now that's really cool.

Roy Edroso's avatar

You develop a sixth sense for these things after a while

Pink Collar (retd.)'s avatar

"Maybe that’s where it started, the race mixing"? Who knew, to Blame It on the Bossa Nova.

I remember when Steve and Eydie were annoyingly everywhere. It's just in the last few years that I learned about Eydie's Spanish hits with Los Panchos. Now those, afaik, were *not* on national TV or radio.

Speaking of Eydie's race mixing, yesterday in the Forward: "Why Bad Bunny’s halftime show delighted New York Jews of a certain age." To read the headline was to already know the answer: the Catskills. https://forward.com/culture/804112/bad-bunny-halftime-show-new-york-jews-catskills-resorts/

SnarkiNorski's avatar

I prefer Flo & Eddie to Steve & Eydie. Heck, I'd even prefer Wayland Flowers & Madame.

Pink Collar (retd.)'s avatar

I grew up with a similar conclusion. But now I appreciate what versatile pros they were. Also, because the algorithm knows how to get my attention, here's Steve & Eydie as part of a fine number on live TV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05pU6l4PEJw&t=3s

Bern's avatar

Huh. Instructive how much more relaxed SteveL & Eydie and Dinah were than Ann and SteveA. And that Sinatra impersonator was not half bad.

SteveB's avatar

SteveA's no SteveB

Roy Edroso's avatar

That's an all-timer.

Whipstitch's avatar

I don't remember a thing about the Steve and Eydie act. Did he have a show of his own for a while? But lately I've been watching Carol Burnett show reruns and boy was he great acting in the movie parodies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3sPzZpMTs4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1s-m6TAH_8

SteveB's avatar

Hey, what is this, FRIDAY?

Bern's avatar

Take the weekend off right now!!

Mr. Ziffel's avatar

They say (dunno who "they" is though, to be honest, I feel like Edmond O'Brien talking about "they" with disgust in The Wild Bunch) that these Trumpian times cannot be parodied or satirized or whatever, but you continually prove them wrong, Mr. Roso! Keep it vicious, baby, and keep it real.

(But you might've been too nice to James Woods. I get it, he was great at one time.)

Roy Edroso's avatar

Some rats can feel the water coming over the gunwales.

Bern's avatar

Leave us all momentarily, dreamily envision the Ship of State abandoning the sinking rats...

Worriedman's avatar

Seems to me when somebody like the president gets accused, quite credibly, of something like consorting closely with a worldwide pedophile syndicate we should be able to suspend their government activities until we look into the matter.

And anyone who ever owned or organized a beauty pageant should be permanently ostracized. From everything. Permanently.

Them hiring a ringer to play the 5-year-old is a funny idea ! I laughed , then I thought "Jesus Roy, don't give them any ideas!"

Cheez Whiz's avatar

Who watches the watchers, eh. And the midget reminded me of the guy in Gold Diggers of 1933, who showed up as Baby Herman in the cartoon spinoffs of Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Pink Collar (retd.)'s avatar

Except, I expect Billy Barty wouldn't have played along with this crowd. Being all DEI, with his little peoples' rights activism.

What's this? After Barty's lifetime, but the group he founded filed an FCC complaint against Celebrity Apprentice over offensive language.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_People_of_America

SteveB's avatar

Gold Diggers AND Billy Barty, and it's only mid-week? That REBID subscription is the bargain of the century!

Bern's avatar

[nobody tell Steve we're rolling out that big Rondo Hatton Marathon tomorrow!]

SteveB's avatar

Might I interest you in a Royal Dano Double Feature? Moby Dick and The Right Stuff with nothin' in between.

Pere Ubu's avatar

We did just invade a sovereign country and kill a couple hundred innocent people on flimsier evidence of criminality, but, sadly, we live in the age of international thuggery and we're the biggest thugs on the block

Bern's avatar
Feb 11Edited

We need to surreptitiously insert listening devices in warm sensitive regions of these vandals, so they'll be snug as a bug in a thug.

Pere Ubu's avatar

The title translates to "go con the members of the band Dio", correct?

SteveB's avatar

This AI translation stuff may need a little work

DrBDH's avatar

Substack was out of commission for a while, so I read Roy on email but couldn’t comment. When I finally checked back, the first article was about Steve Bannon saying the only electable Republican candidate for prez in ‘28 is Tucker Carlson. Wha? Is Andrew Tate busy that year? The idea that folks by the millions would vote for Scrotum Tanner strikes me as… okay, it’s MAGA, maybe the Unincredible Bulk is onto something.

Bern's avatar

Because there is no clause in the Constitution® that specifically prohibits dead people, the nominee will be the ghost of Patrick Buchanan. You read it here first.

Bern's avatar

It is to be hoped.

SteveB's avatar

Not a deep bench.

redoubtagain's avatar

Someone Who Hates Women And Wants To Subjugate Them Versus Someone Who Hates Women And Wants To Eliminate Them