164 Comments
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Oct 16, 2023
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I think it called us ugly depressed sex monsters.

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Set the AI Troll-Bot 6000 on "spew"

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WAAAAH why won't the people I call "shit for brains" talk to me?

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Only took 8 hours to compose a comeback..

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Which means we're only 6 hours away from "Debate me Libs!"

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Want a reasonable compromise? Here you go: keep your fucking nose out of other people's business. Sounds reasonable to me.

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Oct 16, 2023
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Yes, the "Party of Life" - who refused to give Ms. Caswell prenatal care for the baby the so valued, who've never seen a cop who's executed a black guy who they're not immediately willing to exonerate, and whose opinion on Gaza is "exterminate the brutes". "Life" my ass.

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Don't forget that hilarious ad from the Heartland Institute: "They call it pollution, we call it life." Because, duh, people exhale Carbon Dioxide, which somehow makes Exxon-Mobile the most pro-life corporation on the planet.

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You're asking the impossible. Conservatives believe there is no such thing as a right to privacy. Saying that directly is what got Bork bounced from his Supreme Court shot. So conservatives since then have tried to IMPLEMENT that without SAYING that's what they want.

Dobbs was one of the first steps on that road, but there are many more to come. Griswold will be knocked down, as will Lawrence. Because while The State has no business knowing or interfering in how Acme Chemical is poisoning the public water supply, it is a vital State interest to know who is doing what with whom, and how, and whether they're doing it in a State approved way that makes babies. They want to get Big Government out of the boardroom and into the bedroom.

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We're sputteriffic!

I would vote for almost anyone named Siobhan Dunnavant, except that one.

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Waste of a cool name for sure.

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I'll steal it for my Sci-Fi novel:

"Tell the Jardaysh Ambassador that I can't hold Admiral Dunnavant back for much longer..."

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Dunnavant will have none o'that!

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She'll lose in the primary to Sharon Dunnonothin.

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I’d vote for Shiv from Succession.

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"not a ‘ban,’ but simply an assertion "

Assert my ass,

The whole point is to get the rubes all worked up. And we know what a worked up Rube really wants-bonfires. Big ass bonfires they can march around, pretending there's a stake in the middle with a witch tied to it.

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Or a black person.

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Well, if they weren't black when we lit the fire...

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Pretty iffy, but I'll Oof.

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Blackened Librarian. It's a Louisiana specialty.

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And really quick read the dirty bits of the books as you throw them into the fire.

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Reading porn by firelight makes it extra-sexy.

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“Sputterific” is gold, Roy! It’s gold!

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So when we only met children play age appropriate video games that's a ban as well ?

This is a losing issue ,shit for brains ,not only are y'all in the wrong , but also this is meant to divide and conquer ( distract from foreign policy and economics )

Also talking to kids about sex disorders their minds

This isn't a benevolent agenda

CRT says there are exactly zero good white people, that even white people treat each other's well,it's always out of their own self interest

Y'all made Desantis win 70% of the vote in a purple state,and Disney is sinking like a stone ,but keep having these shit for brains takes,and don't forget to take your SSRI

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Do we have an actual troll here? Congratulations, Roy! You've finally hit the big time!

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"Talking to kids about sex disorders their minds." Let them find out the hard way!

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Never speak about S.E.K.S. to the children!

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Poe's Law is tough, but fair. When the text is so extreme as to be fucking hilarious, the Law must be invoked.

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I've had more practice that I really wanted in satirizing right-wing views, but I tip my hat to Paul, well done, sir!

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One who doesn’t speak English, too! AI, maybe?

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I blame translator-bot. It was all perfectly coherent in the original Russian.

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Troll Trollovich Botov

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The thing I love about Substack is knowing this fucking loser actually PAID MONEY to insult me. I hope Mr. and Mrs. Edroso have a nice dinner out on his subscription fee.

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No, this post was open to the general public. But it's good to have this confirmation that our opponents are morons. (Assuming it's genuine -- I'm still not sure!)

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Damn. Well, feel free to have a nice dinner out on MY subscription fee.

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"Pure-dee genu-wine mo-ron"

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I think that up to the last talking point the poster was beautifully parroting/parodying the grey-staters, for General High-larity. Then that last clinker hit. Too bad – was fun while it lasted...

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"talking to kids about sex disorders their minds" -- this is a parody account, right?

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That SSRI thing is a deep cut that even the most skilled parodist wouldn't think of.

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Also, every Right Wing Male is always King of the World, tossin' LOL's in your general direction, and a LMFAO too! So much winning, so much that they got tired of it, which probably explains the losing.

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Yeah, I fucking take SSRIs, because if I don't I become stupid and conservative. Your point?

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Aren't the SSRI's responsible for all the mass shootings? Not that there's anything wrong with that, because a man should have the right to do whatever he wants with his beloved [strokes AR-15 gently] and also those mass shootings didn't even happen, it was all crisis actors... OK, now I need some medication myself.

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I know Alex Jones has blamed psych meds for mass shootings, because he's stupid, and Andrew "Hey Fourteen" Tate is contemptuous of any kind of depression treatment. Sure, there's people who reportedly have had unaliving themselves and violence as a side effect of SSRIs (amplified by assholes like conservatives and Scientologists), but, cripes, we're dealing with one of the most complex things on the planet, something we know distressingly little about, so, YOU KNOW, it's kinda complicated and not always guaranteed.

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Sorry, they don't do "kinda complicated" unless it's Donald Trump's legal defense.

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And I’ve got to say, SSRI’s saved my life, and have massively improved my quality of life since starting to take them. If you are suffering from a long term generalized depressive and/or anxiety disorder (as I was) consider talking to a prescribing psych/therapist about them.

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I'm lucky that I don't need such pharmaceutical enhancements. I find the adenochrome shakes really do the trick all by themselves.

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"Anyone who seeks out medical help for their depression is a weakling and a loser" is a thing these guys say to themselves over and over, right up to the moment they put the gun in their mouth.

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They are delicious! In the best ones, you can really taste the pineal gland!

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Nope, you take SSRIs because you are stupid, they actually make you evil,only a moron would think spiking serotonin in isolation isn't a flipping horrible idea, and crowding out the 5 other major NTs,neuro modulators,monoamines

Depression is actually quite easy to solve

Things don't magically become complicated because figurative retards don't understand them

SSRI use has fine up something like 3,000% since the year 2000 or so,yet people have never been more anxious, depressed, suicidal, homicidal

https://youtu.be/CCta8I0pKqM?si=mbGPJj6fjzUuJTtt

https://www.amazon.com/Medication-Madness-Psychiatric-Violence-Suicide/dp/031256550X

Depression is terribly easy to solve,big pharma just has absolutely no interest

Brain Energy: A Revolutionary Breakthrough in Understanding Mental Health--and Improving Treatment for Anxiety, Depression, OCD, PTSD, and More https://a.co/d/3kn0Bz1

https://www.amazon.com/Inflamed-Mind-Radical-Approach-Depression-ebook/dp/B07G133P1F/

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1632868318/

https://www.leonardsax.com/child-psychiatry-is-sick-with-hidden-conflicts-of-interest/

Harvard said explicitly in 2014 that 85-89% of all US drugs fall somewhere between poison ( harm mpre people than they help ) to a complete grift ( not an iota better than the much cheaper generics that they compete with)

https://ethics.harvard.edu/blog/new-prescription-drugs-major-health-risk-few-offsetting-advantages

Vioxx killed approximately 500k and we did nothing, whereas China hung people and jailed billionaires over 6 people dying from melamine toothpaste

https://www.unz.com/runz/chinese-melamine-and-american-vioxx-a-comparison/

When people say leftists are crazy ,it becomes more true every day

https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/over-50-percent-white-liberal-women-under-30-mental-health-condition

Who could've guessed that shitty people on shitty drugs actually end up destroying their kids ?

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/article-abstract/2618606

For the first time ,the mental health of kids is very divergent based on the parents politics

When it comes to kids,of course leftoids care more about keeping their politics than their own kids mental health, and making that calculus is what makes y'all shitty people

https://ifstudies.org/blog/do-your-political-beliefs-affect-your-parenting-

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Ur Tindr profile must be a hoot, scooter

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That's some IMAX-level projection going on. . . .

White Guy With Untreated Mental Health Issues Who Doesn't Want To Be Treated Because He Wants The World To Be Afraid Of Him, A Continuing Series

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Smell like Scientology.

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So all I needed to solve my years-long near-crippling depression was a self help book? That would have solved all the hardcore self-medicating I was doing to numb the depression down to a terrifying background noise. Well tickle my cats! I’ll get right on that!

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I saw "Expand full comment" in blue and ran like the dickens.

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If a statute, ordinance or regulation enables these dipnozzles to block the availability of books in a library or school, it seems to fit the dictionary definition of “ban.” Just because the Gaspacho Police can’t bust down your door, confiscate the offending publication and arrest you doesn’t change that. But the book is certainly banned, or “banned,” from that library or school. I mean, this isn’t hard to understand, but that doesn’t keep the fuckknobs from distorting the very language they claim we’re twisting.

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Just make an argument out of it and half the population can be trusted to throw up their hands and say, "Eh, who knows? I'm not gonna try to figure out who's lying, that's too much WORK."

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Remember the "don't say gay" law? It's, like, actually a *law.*

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Yeah, it’s a statute. Passes by the alleged FL legislature. But it’s not really a legislature. The dictionary definition of “legislature” is a democratically elected body empowered to codify the will of the people who elected them. It fails in at least one respect, judging from their curtailing the ex-felon vote referendum.

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Add “ban” to the list of words and terms perverted by the right. In this case, a ban is not a ban unless it’s absolute. As Brother Pierce would say, JFC.

Too, this ban idiocy is what you get from a party that can only roll on hate, fear and lies for obvious reasons.

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“(The nude character is the author’s mother, who has killed herself in a bathtub.)” Not for nothing, but the nude character is also a cartoon mouse. Prove to me you read and comprehended Maus or GTFO. These idiots.

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God knows they weren't offended by the genocide.

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But a NAKED mouse! Naked!!!

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Jeez, at least the City Mouse and the Country Mouse had the decency to put on a jacket, even if it did end well short of their genitalia.

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Naked cartoon mouse representing a traumatized middle-aged woman who has just suicided? I'm touching myself right now.

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Easy there...

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Well, not in that scene.

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Cartoon characters often walk around naked.

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I have a real problem with that.

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It's a touching problem...

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Has anyone ever actually seen Donald Duck in pants? Whoops, that’s Disney, bad example as they have committed themselves to the smut caucus by (checks notes) affirming their appreciation for simple basic humanity. Ok how about Chris Muir’s “Day by Day?” I think we can rely on a good old-fashioned Republican cloth comic like that to avoid titillating and mature, child inappropriate art.

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Hearted for Republican cloth.

2 marks!

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They come for the prudery but stay for the Holocaust denial.

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If two boobies are bad, six boobies are 12 times worserer...

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It did win a Pulitzer (a first for a graphic novel) for a reason!

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It's amazing to think parents these days would imagine that their kids have never been exposed to anything like this and need protected. They've all got personal computers/pornboxes in their kids bedrooms. In the unlikely chance they were able to keep their kids away from the good stuff on their PCs you can bet that their best friend's Mom and Dad have Pornhub bookmarked on their PC(password protected with 1234ABC)

There's also loaded pistols in each of the parents nightstands but nobody worries about that because nothing bad could ever happen there.

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Obviously the ease and ubiquitousness of the delivery system means kids -- and everybody -- has access to an unprecedented variety of sexual imagery. But in the olden times, when big families lived together in small spaces, it seems impossible that kids didn't witness what grown ups did when they loved each other very, very much. Our bodies are programmed to start having "those" feelings while we're still children, and fighting the evolutionary imperative to procreate early (12? 13?) and often seems to me a losing battle. So it seems pretty important to clue them in on what's going on with their bodies, and since you can't hide the porn forever, maybe educate them about it?

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A good friend of mine, my former boss actually, started dating a woman from Colombia. They went out a few times and got along really well. She invited him home to meet the family. She lived in an apartment with her mom, her grandmother, her son, her sister and her sister's four kids. They had dinner and were all sitting around watching TV afterwards. The woman he was seeing grabbed him by the hand, pulled him out by the chair and took him into the adjacent bedroom and closed the door indicating that now, right now was the time for some personal time between them. He indicated he wasn't really comfortable getting really comfortable because there were seven people on the other side of the very thin wall. She somehow overcame his objections and things proceeded apace. After they were done they got up, got dressed and went to join the rest of the family in front of the TV.

I asked him" How'd that work out?"

He said " Grandma gave me a High Five"

They since got married, had a kid of their own. They seem very happy.

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But the children.

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Mercy! I wanna know what they were watching on TV!

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Doesn't really matter, just has to be loud enough to drown out the moaning coming from the other room.

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Porn?

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Petticoat Sanction!

All Aboard!

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Right. "I'll watch what she's watching."

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8 is Enough?

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So, I found my mom's copy of Xaviera Hollander's "The Happy Hooker" when I was thirteen or so. Mom caught me reading and just shook her head. She knew I was a devourer of books.

My first thought was, "Is sex really this banal?"

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My mom was a hot mess as a parent in numerous ways, but I was also a devourer of books, and she let me read anything. I was certainly intrigued by the sexy time passages from many 70s novels, but I don't think my brain was impaired by them. I never read The Happy Hooker, but recently picked up a copy at a yard sale. Some day I'll get to it.

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Yard sale copies are the best! It's probably marked and annotated so you can jump past the filler. When I read "The Godfather", every page number where someone got whacked or laid was thoughtfully circled.

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Funny you should mention The Godfather, that's one of the books I was thinking about. Read it when I was really young, and the sex scene between Sonny and Connie's bridesmaid was probably the porniest thing I had encountered up til then. It didn't make me go out and seek anonymous sex or anything like that.

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lol, The Godfather's steamy scenes. I was in my older teens when I read my mother's copy. Well, old enough that it wasn't steaminess that made a big impression but the clunky writing. Most memorably: not only did Sonny's endowments make everyone gasp, but also, "He had a heart as big as his organ."

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The writing was atrocious.

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Yeah, but in a good way.

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(I knew someone who annotated the sex scene--yes there is one--in "Jaws.")

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I think you're gonna need a bigger...uhmm...

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I'm afraid to ask but — between whom?

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Raises hand.

In the book, the Richard Dreyfuss oceanographer character was a sexy, WASPy Ivy League type. The polar opposite of ca. 1975 Richard Dreyfuss. He plays Find The Minnow with Sheriff Brody's bored-of-this-fucking-island wife.

Then he gets 'et by Sharky, sparing everyone an awkward homecoming from the fishing trip.

The scene reads like a contractual obligation.

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Speaking of annotated: I was on a plane once and saw a man reading what I recognized by the cover was 50 Shades of Grey. On closer inspection I saw that the title was in Portuguese--and that the man was underlining passages. I knew he must be Brazilian. They CARE.

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It’s undeniable that teachers and librarians are aligned in a super woke conspiracy to get kids to read books. Seriously, the teachers and librarians I know aren’t “pushing” specific content (okay that’s a lie, they push well written and imaginative literature), just thrilled when a kid puts down the phone and reads any printed page.

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In a just world, the Alabama forced birth horror story would have led on the evening news nationwide so the forced birthers could be shunned for the consequences of their actions, as morality requires.

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In conserve-world, file it under "she had it coming."

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Jesus, I read that story, and "The cruelty is the point" seems totally inadequate but also accurate.

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Maybe I should compile a volume of personal anecdotes like that one — god knows there's getting to be enough of them — title it "Horror Stories," and give it away at right to life rallies, conventions, and in front of Republican legislatures. (With photos, of course, to match the dead fetus ones.)

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Good source for subscribers: https://jessica.substack.com/

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"Morality" only ever means "sex" to these asshats.

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Dirty bits. Ew.

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Alabama State Law "Kill Them All, God Will Know His Own".

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Sixty years ago it was traditional to follow this up with "The Oriental doesn't value life as Western people do."

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How do the every-sperm-is-sacred anti-abortionists take this? Because they know for sure those whores be lyin' when they claim to have been raped or the victim of incest, and we're supposed to trust DOCTORS when they say there's a fetal abnormality? The same doctors who urge us to get Bill Gates' nanobot vaccine?

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The same doctors who, according to a well-known recent participant in the Georgia legal system, offer the parents of newborns, right in the delivery room, to bash the kids' heads in.

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Not exactly the SAME doctors, but since they are all alike ('ceptin' my own what still makes house calls*) it don't make no differments.

*If you know what I mean etc.

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Well, not exactly house calls, but the vet will drop the Ivermectin off at the door to the barn if you want.

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AMAC claims they are "pushing" Maus on the kids, and that they are "exposing every student". I really, really hate them.

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Whomsoever shall claim it 'exposure'

When it's just teaching kids, full disclosure:

You show up round these parts

And I'll teach you some smarts

In a heavily padlocked enclosure

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In LeCarre's followup to Tinker, Tailor (The Honorable Schoolboy), he has Smiley reflect that one "good" consequence of having (and identifying) a mole is, you can follow back upstream all the projects and people the mole was involved with, and so root out more perfidy and sabotage. It's lemons to lemonade, I suppose.

Similarly, parents in these banned-book states should interpret the bans as a Required Reading list. Let the book-banners do the helpful research as to what books your intelligent, liberal kid might find interesting. Maybe the ALA, or some other org., is already doing this. But do it on the national level and, more importantly, not on the basis of pedagogical "freedom" or "to promote decent liberal values," but, rather, on something much coarser and more mundane: If They Don't Like It, It Must Be Good. (I was thinking of suggesting naming the organization We're Getting Banned Back, Together, but I dunno...too clever-wever?)

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I gotta believe record companies realized those Parental Warning stickers they used to put on album covers were marketing gold.

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Karen Gore was good fer bidniz, yeah.

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Best sticker ever:

PARENTAL WARNING - THIS IS AN IGGY POP RECORD!

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"...but I dunno...too clever-wever??

How can _anything_ possibly be "TOO clever-wever?

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