80 Comments
Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"This message brought to you by your Local Iron Lung Dealer."

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Yeah.

Down on the corner, watchin' the cars do that slow roll of scanning for the product/bewaring of the narcs...dealing iron lung machines outta the back of a second-hand hearse, and calling 'em 'stainless steel lungs' just to detach the paralyzed rubes from their last few remaining semolians...

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"Very mild, like a cold, except I can't walk." Dead. I am dead, lol.

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Yep, a 2-marker for sure.

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

This line is one of the funniest things I have ever read. I’ve been reading for 45 years.

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I've learned never to sip my coffee when reading Roy, because he could drop a bombshell like that on you at any time. Also, I learned it the hard way lmao.

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Well played, me too!

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Yet, he makes a stand!

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Same. It's what a director I once worked with called "a hundred-dollar joke." And that was back when $100 meant something!

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author

I'll take it.

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And I only paid $70 for it. Check for the balance due is in the mail, Roy.

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Damn! I’m still laughing!

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A concrete example of this pernicious nonsense: my best friend from high school and college, a brilliantly talented artist, went MAGA nuts with the '16 election. He first committed career and social suicide and then the actual thing (basically) by refusing to get vaccinated. He died four months ago from COVID-related symptoms and I'll never see or speak to him again because most of the white folks in this country decided to collectively lose their minds. I hate all of this so much!

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I am so sorry. It must have been painful to watch.

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Brilliant.

But query: "...one of Regu-Mate’s uses is to suppress extrus in mares." Srikes me that a medication that does that just has to have awesome black label uses. Can't be god *just* for horses -- well, lesser horses, mares, which are only of value to our betters who invest in racehorses -- and for the condition.

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"Regu-Mate also has strong colloidal and electro-magnetic properties..."

Also electrolytes! The electrolytes human vegetables crave!

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Nah. Regu-mate is simply the program for curing us of same sex marriage and the like...

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Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match... (after checking with Justice Alito)

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Alito uses a Zippo. And no, he won't lend it to you...

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Colloidal properties just mean the particles stay in solution longer as they are pretty small. You can fix this by shaking the non-colloidal solution.

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Solved that...

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

“Rockford polio survivor hospitalized with shiga toxin E. Coli infection from hamburger tartar at polio mixing party.”

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I don't see how a gathering like that isn't leaving you with monkeypox too.

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Monkeypox--the up-and-coming disease of today!

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

At last a realistic excuse for my poo-slinging!

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I have no idea what kind of medication vets prescribe for monkeys when they become sick, but I bet we're gonna find out. It will be for sale on every rightwing website.

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And also right outta the backa the iron lungs!

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I'm guessing that the prescription for monkeys with monkeypox is euthanasia. Ask your doctor if euthanasia is right for you.

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Ivermectin cures everything. Just common sense and science. Think about it- I know when I've been sick from whatever what really finally fixes me right is a good bowel movement. Hence ivermectin.

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I’m a listerine and infrared light high colonic guy myself.

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author

Since at present health authorities have associate it with men who have sex with men, that's gonna cause a lot of cognitive dissonance

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

The anti-vax movement was tiny before Trump gave them a national stage. Now the world of preventive medicine is waist-deep in mis- and mal-information. Thousands upon thousands of otherwise normal people "do their own research" every day and decide that vaccines are a conspiracy to make everyone autistic and liberal or some other nonsense.

I figure we're not too far away from Trump or DeSantis actively promoting the idea that the only way to prevent heart disease is to contract heart disease naturally, so go ahead America! Scarf down the fries and pizza, potato chips and cheese hunks! Get on the high-salt diet now before there's a national salt shortage!

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

That which does not kill me makes me stronger, says Dr. Nietzsche.

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I'd kill for a soda, says Dr. Pepper...

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

They called it the March of Dimes, and whose face is on the dime? I rest my case.

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Next year:

Dimes! Last Marchers Standing!

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

They see me rolling, they hating!

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I hear there's oneathem fasces things on the dime, and, well, YOU KNOW...

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Jul 22, 2022·edited Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Off topic, but I was thinking recently how long our currency has stayed in its current form with minimal changes for commemorative issues, updating paper money security and design etc. For at least 60 years it’s remained essentially unchanged: the same old guys on the bills and coins, with the occasional halfhearted, abortive attempt to introduce a dollar coin (like any sensible country would have). I suppose this is better than decennial fights about which confederate general we need to honor on a bill, but still: no rotating through famous Americans or other national icons on occasion?

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Heck, the Famous Americans series of postage stamps in 1940 featured authors, poets, educators, scientists, composers, artists, and inventors. Why can’t we have currency with Walt Whitman, Samuel Clemens, Booker T. Washington, Stephen Foster, Kate Chopin, Alexander Graham Bell, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, et al.?

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They were redesigning the $10 recently and were going to put the Heroes of Women's Suffrage on the back, but it's possible Mnuchin nixed this

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I am shocked (okay not so shocked) about this, or the Tubman $20. I mean, we’ve had Andrew Jackson on it almost as a joke for about 100 years. Nobody really knows why he’s on it, and he detested the central bank—and he’s a genocidal asshole, even by the standards of his time—but he’s apparently inviolable.

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Give it up for the Fabulous Susan! B! Anthony!!!!

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They made the halfhearted effort at the dollar coin with her, then abandoned it. A dollar coin makes so much more sense than paper, both for usage in machines and for lower replacement costs, but no, we’d never just do it.

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Even the Canadians think it's loony...

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The Sacawega dollar coin was basically the same size as the quarter. A $1 bill costs about a nickel to make which is about 1/3 of a dollar coin. Paper currency does wear out much faster but to whom does that 95 vs. 85 (and far fewer per year) cent vig go to? I believe the Treasury. This would cost the Treasury hundreds of millions of dollars a year, which seems like a bad trade.

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But you can also use coins much easier in machines, turnstiles, etc. if having the main currency of a country in paper form was superior, you’d think other countries — Canada, the UK, the EU, etc.—would do it too.

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Plus big chunky coins give you a reason to have your hand mucking about in your pocket all the time...

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There are good reasons to not change things much. Generally rooted in the economic cost of people not accepting the new currency as real. Too many Americans dislike the government sufficiently that few changes would be accepted for several years. Heck, when they added the peach color to the $10 in about 2000, like 25% of the initial users thought it was counterfeit. Rolling out new bills takes lots of communication and trust in the government. We can maybe do the first, although many people won't listen. We don't really have the second.

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Never mind that – whose fasces are on it??!!

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I had two brothers that lived in Alaska , about four thousand miles away . We didn't hang out much . We got together maybe 20 times in 40 years. So we weren't real close but in a way we were. One of them recently passed away , my older brother , and my younger brother has been dealing with the estate so we talk pretty often lately.

I was talking to him a few weeks ago and he says" Man am I sick. Pretty sure I got covid again". I said "Again?" He said " Yeah this will be my third time"

I'm like" Bro - they got a shot for that." He says " No way! That shit will kill you."

He's not stupid, though there is definitely something lacking. I don't get it.

Nice piece Roy.

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Being a little wary in early 2021 I can kinda understand. OK, maybe you didn't want to be one of the first ones getting it, maybe wait and see how things go. But this is "wait and see" with no actual seeing. Over 200 million Americans vaccinated, if there was a problem I THINK WE'D KNOW BY NOW.

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

This just in: 200 million Americans died, but it was all covered up by the liberal media.

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

200 million dead? C’mon, man. Those were 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘴.

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The vaccine killed 200 million, but the virus? Nobody ever died from it because it's just like, a cold or something.

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There’s no denying the troubling rise of werwolfism in the wider population since vax became available.

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The 5G reception through my fillings is really excellent now.

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Can I connect my bluetooth to your teeth?

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"Won’t get foaled again" was right there

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

There's another pun in "gay marriage," too. But it's stretch. Never gonna win the Breeders Cup.

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Would be really big news – "If It Breeds, It Leads!"

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

It's funny when you break down these symptoms and the health and lifestyle outcomes, these so-called afflictions are not so bad, not to be feared like open borders and gay marriage. "Just like a cold only you can't walk." Yes. Idiocy is like that, too. Same as being a normal person, only you can't think.

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"Mild, like a cold, except I don't have a pulse", he said from the grave.

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

There's a Chekov story. Two guys are sick. One of them says he's better off because his is a dry cough. He ends up dying, of course. I'll have to find it and read it again. Very apropos for our current condition.

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

The medical version of "It's 115 in Phoenix today, but it's a dry heat."

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"Not a bad cough really", he said, drily...

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Ironic typo du jour: extrus. Especially since Regu-Mate caused this unfortunate young man to grow a third nipple.

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I was gonna say "But who's counting?" but then I thought "Hey, wait a minute – who really IS counting...?"

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"Extrus, extrus, breed all about it"

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Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

You say he’s taking a stand, but how is he standing with the polio, eh? Fake news!

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Roosevelt managed to stand ... usually leaning on something

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Yup. Not only stood FOR something – he stood ADJACENT to something!

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Jul 22, 2022·edited Jul 22, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

“suppress estrus in mares”—phrases like that give me instant flashbacks to my childhood growing up on a farm, with a dad who taught vocational agriculture. Only we had Black Angus/Aberdeen Angus cattle, not mares.

Also, even us poor little hicks in the cowtown I grew up in knew better than to take bovine medication. Ubi sunt the common sense of yesteryear?

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Roy, a side note- easy on "Judeo-Christian"- as a Jewish person gotta say I don't like that term and other Jewish folks have mentioned that too. We don't actually share values/history/beliefs in a general sense and considering Jews have mainly been persecuted by Christians for about as long as Christians have existed, I don't really like our tiny minority being lumped in with them. And in terms of the likely Hasidic dude in Rockland county- yup the Hasids, much like the Amish, are a kind of insular, low-educated, cult-like crew. They vote en masse for who their rabbi tells them too, and unlike the mainstream threads of Judaism, Hasids are often anti-intellectual (if it's anything outside of Torah or Talmud study), anti-scientist- they don't speak English as a first language, they don't trust people outside their circle. I sometimes try to explain Hasidic life as- it's like if monks or nuns could get married. I'm not surprised at all that loads of them are unvaccinated. I've met some who don't know super basic things about America/history. They were brought up in a cult, they live in a cult.

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Some feel that the Hasids are a shonda. My own experience with the super-ultra-orthodox has been that they are, indeed, a shameful people.

On the other hand, I know some really outstanding orthodox and ultra-orthodox people. Kind, generous, engaging, and intensely smart.

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Good points, but even just for coins, we regularly issue special commemorative ones, but we’ve made basically no real change since the wheat penny.

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Jul 22, 2022·edited Jul 22, 2022

Yeah. Sad day it was when wheat got more valuable than copper and zinc. But at least now in a pinch we can eat the money...

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"This young man is also taking his stand in another way" I don't know if you intended this as a paralysis joke, but 👏🏼

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