32 Comments
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Re: Cain in Heaven

Free from care, free from fear

The Saints go trouping in.

Children play all around the Throne, innocent of sin.

A trillion voices sing the name the mortal may not know,

And Heaven's wall's too high to hear the troubles down below.

Jesse Winchester, Step By Step.

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Yes, the Cain entry was wonderful.

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Outstanding, Roy. I don’t know which is better, Glenn Greenwald’s endorsement of conspiracy theories or Jesus chilling at Mar-a-Lago.

Every laugh is welcome because I have so much election anxiety I am almost physically sick with worry. I’ve started to self-soothe by drinking too much eggnog, binge-watching episodes of 70’s-era Columbo, and re-starting my 10-step Korean skin care regime. Soon I’ll be constipated and unable to leave a room without saying “and just one more thing” but at least my skin will be glowing, LOL.

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Speaking of laughs, thanks for them. Also full of election anxiety, but anyone who can manage a 10-step skin care regime has my undying admiration.

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

I don’t deserve any admiration until after November 3rd when I’ll probably give the whole thing up, it is incredibly time consuming, LOL. Remember to take good care of yourself when you feel anxious, we need to be in top shape to hold Biden’s feet to the fire come January 20th (fingers crossed).

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

My wife and I have been binge watching "The Handmaid's Tale" - we consider it a training video for when Trump steals the election.

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

We’ve been watching “Dexter” — don’t want to think about what that means.

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

I now have Peter Faulk’s gravelly “just one more thing” on endless loop in my head. Which is better than news footage of the fascist sherbet with the cotton-candy hair, so I guess that’s something.

Expand full comment

Verily sir, you take the turds we are delivered daily and burnish them into sparkling things. Best line:

"remember that God forgives those who are prosecuted in His name.”

69 likes

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Huh?

Surely god smiles most on those who died so Donnie can feel good about himself. (Op cit my old fart theory that deep in heart, Donnie knows what a disgusting piece of hit of a human being he is.)

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

“Couple Corinthians walk into a bar…”

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Yeah, WTF ever happened to Glen Greenwald? What an asshole.

The "Order of Kyle Rittenhouse" - on the front is a picture of Rittenhouse standing on a pile dead "antifa" bodies, on the reverse side is the AR-15 he used to heroically "defend" himself from the socialist, communist, Black Lives Matter hordes.

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

So.

As I'm sure I mentioned, having been frightened about vote-by-mail because apparently they check signatures like they don't for in-person, we did the early voting thing up in a northern NYC 'burb yesterday. Other than standing in line for an hour in a light rain it was great. And smooth -- I know; Cuomo, right? But it was well set up and well run.

And for the time ever, I got a comment about the signature matching to the effect of course signatures change over time.

The vibe at the site was pretty joyful; one of the workers announced that a kid who just signed in was voting for the first time and we all applauded him.

No sign of ant #TrumpMilitia patrolling, but the next couple of weeks will be ugly.

Meanwhile, two factoids:

Texas has already had ~90+% of the vote it had in 2016.

Those waiting for election to vote are ~2 to 1 pro Donnie. Upside for them is lines will (obviously?) be much shorter than feared, downside is that it's still going to be a bitch for them.

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Well, my partner registered to vote in the state at eighteen, and has never had a ballot rejected for signature issues. Mine was changed more recently, but still must be a good ten to fifteen years old, and I've never had a ballot rejected for that either. The stats in Washington are something like one percent rejection for sigs. You may also have a right to cure, I think it's called, that will let them contact you and you can fix it.

Expand full comment

Still wouldn't risk it while I had options i.e. early in person and doing the radical thing and voting on Election Day. Glad your partner hasn't had a problem.

But if I wasn't clear, I'd say my current signature has a family resemblance to the way I signed nearly thirty years ago, I don't feel confident if it was challenged.

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

"Mr. Boombatz's lawyer, Amir Bagadonuts, could not be reached for comment."

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Stiffing the contractors who made the video about stiffs is classic Trump. Too bad those hypothermic Nebraskans couldn’t make it to heaven in time for the ad.

Meanwhile, we voted last week and then the WSJ called to ask about it. That’s the trifecta: NYT, WaPo and WSJ have now spotlighted our little town, where all the men are overweight, all the women smarter than the men, and all the children are going back to school next week despite a coronavirus surge. Oh, and we’re the subject of Kegs Kavanaugh’s latest semiliterate concurrence. Go Pack [the courts] go!

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

I twigged at the second opinion, but man, you had me all the way there.

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

I actually got to see Rodney Dangerfield in person. His routine was not the Johnny Carson show, that's for sure! It was the first time I saw a filthy comic live. Quite a show. A classic Carson spot. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wRVVGQTp_I

Expand full comment

If it's so much fun to be an aborted baby how come it abortions should be illegal? Send those fetuses back to hell where Christianity decided God wants them.

Expand full comment

Tremendous piece.

Expand full comment

I know Skink, and he cheated.

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

You captured the "flood the zone with shit" strategy well.

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Vinnie Boombatz character's classic stand-up schtick was hilarious.And you know this is th kind of thing Trump daydreams about.

Expand full comment
author

To be honest, the gags were all stolen from Rodney.

Expand full comment

“Good writers borrow; great writers steal.”

Expand full comment
Oct 29, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

The Franklin Mint.

Expand full comment

"The campaign is immediately hit with a lawsuit from several artists and technicians who say they worked on the video and whose checks from the campaign bounced. " That I can believe.

Expand full comment