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October 26, 2023
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Poopmouth lives. Poopmouth is immortal.

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Poopmouth abides.

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Gonna nominate this comment for a WEBBY award.

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Yes, like the Washington Post Editorial Board says, this is what happens when Democrats won’t help Republicans elect a Speaker. Now the Democrats have gotten an extremist like Mike Johnson. Just think, instead they could have voted for an extremist like Kevin McCarthy – whose cardinal virtue was he’s an inch or two closer to the center and doesn’t babble about the Will of God and the End Times from the House floor.

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What’s the difference? McCarthy was a Trump, boot-licking, election denying, flip flopper on J6th, and incapable of keeping his caucus in line.

The only difference between Johnson and McCarthy is Johnson’s a right-wing ideologue, while McCarthy is whatever you want him to be, as long as you give him the gavel.

Six of one, half dozen of the other. Good riddance!....:)

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As Charlie Berens might say, "It's a horse apiece."

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Looking forward to how they square "See? It's all your fault, and now you got an EXTREMIST to deal with, Democrats!" with "Extremist? Who said Mike's an extremist? So mild-mannered, a Friend to All!"

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Yoicks! Bothsiding themselves!

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I need to become a political consultant. I would travel around the country looking for good Democrats who are running against hardcore culture issue Republicans.

Like for instance I'd find who is running against Mike Johnson (This Mike Johnson ass clown to be Pacific) and I'd sell him a bunch of yard signs that said " Mike Johnson wants to take your blowjobs away."

This could change America!

I don't know if I can ever look at my feet again without wondering if I had buff toehold.

Funny stuff Roy! Thanks!

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"Mike Johnson wants to control YOUR johnson!"

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"Our new Speaker wants a car in every garage, and a johnson in every...oh, never mind."

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He's a hard man, but one who is also upright.

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LOL! We can never, ever go wrong with dumb penis jokes.

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No need to modify "penis jokes" with "dumb". Goes without saying.

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Adding here: see below.

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Howard’s Johnson is right!

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Dude's name is Johnson. You can't expect us to ignore that.

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Also a straight-shooter, although if he has a slight curve I hear there's a pill for that.

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Are you suggesting he's an upstanding member of society?

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When he's sitting next to Lauren Boebert.

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That's the thrust of it. Most conservatives think he fills that slot.

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Only thing some people I know would change is 'slot' to 'slit'.

I hang around with despicables, deplorables and the like.

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What about Mike Hunt?

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It's just a tragedy they settled on a speaker before Heywood Jablome got a chance.

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Mr Speaker Pro Tem, I nominate Phil McCracken!

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House Majority Whip Deez Nuts

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Parliamentarian Mike Ochertz

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"I nominate the Right Honourable Oliver Kloughsoff"

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"It will be just a few minutes longer before our new Speaker arrives to give his acceptance remarks. He's in the dressing room..."

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Expect your yard signs to draw vehement complaints from the same people who have "Fuck Biden" banners festooning their homes.

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Well, fuck their feelings.

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If only I had a yard...

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If only. Unfortunately, the prevailing narrative is we are hardy louts who can tolerate having our feelings consistently fucked, but THEY are sensitive souls whose gossamer feelings are as fragile as the butterfly's wings: "But WHY do you persist in complaining as we repeatedly club you over the head? You're being SO MEAN TO US."

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+1 gossamer

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I was cleaning out my office at a job on my last day there. I had a stack of partial used yellow ruled pads in the bottom of the desk drawer. Either they were getting tattered and had some paper left or they had some notes that I thought might be important someday. Across the top of one I had written with a sharpie -

"0ne man's sodomy is another man's locker room antic"

I figured it must be some kind of Penn State thing.I didn't remember writing it.

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"Sodomy, sodom-you"

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Not with Mike Johnson's Johnson.

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Shirley this belongs in the upper thread.

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Missed Chafe this round, but the glum GOEN.J models more than made up for it.

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While we’re on the subject of fashion I want to say that I approve of the return of capes. https://www.threads.net/@johnnypalmadessa/post/Cy3S4nkOGdZ/?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

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I thought they were downplaying the Aussie hoopla.

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Smashing!

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I expect to see “Democrat special interest groups like gays, women of childbearing age, and adherents of the Biden Won the 2020 Election conspiracy theory” in wide circulation soon...

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I confess! It's all true, I was one of the 81 million people who CONSPIRED to put Joe Biden in the White House! Where's my plea deal?

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Get in line, pal.

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Democrats have Special Interest Groups that together comprise north of 60% of the country's total population, and 100% of its sane population...no wonder the Republicans are desperately scrambling to suppress voting rights.

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There will come a point where we no longer need to qualify "women" with "of childbearing age." Just women. And their interests, which are special.

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Childbearing age starts at 10.

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Here we are, eight years past the Obergefell decision, and just look at what legal gay marriage has wrought: Traditional marriages devalued and destroyed, dogs living with cats, our nation a smoking ruin like Portland after its weekly burning-to-the-ground.

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October 26, 2023
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The free market has spoken. Everyone knows the gay drugs are the best.

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Except in Portland, where they are simultaneously burnt cinders and floating away in the floods.

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Commercial: “When I burn a city, it stays burned.” [voiceover] “Paid for by General Sherman for PDX Chief of Police.”

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If it would stop raining, Portland’s ruins would be less smoking. Still looking for the heterosexual marriage destroying gays - maybe at the erase your tattoos parlor.

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'Nother one of these "domestic supply of infants" mufuggers. . .

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Just wait til we get those gestation crates into production.

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Next time I hear "Breeders Cup" I'mo sign up for sher!

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Isn't a Breeders Cup what boxers wear? You know, so that a hit below the belt doesn't end your ability to breed?

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Steve, Steve...you are perilously close to overthinking this.

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If it wasn't for overthinking, I'd get no thinking done at all.

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Looking forward to the grim Hog Confinement/Maternity Ward section of Tractor Supply Co. in Mike Johnson’s America.

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I read yesterday that his district is one of the poorest in America, median household income in Louisiana's 4th district is a little over half the US median. So I'm sure that gives him some real insight and concerns about the plight of the poor, right?

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Well, our state (SD) has the fourth-highest percentage of people of Native American heritage, and our republicans are *awesome* on issues affecting that community, so it checks out. (/s)

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Johnson's district is about 40% African-American (and I think we both know why that number isn't 50%, don't we?) so you can bet he's attuned to the needs of African-Americans, just like Coach Tuberville "gets" Black people because he used... er, excuse me.. employed so many of them in his football program.

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Dear Ms Norski –

Thank you for your post. It is my duty to inform you that, in this establishment, the use of (/s) is entirely unnecessary.

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Well, as a privileged white dude I sometimes feel compelled to be boringly, excruciatingly clear.

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Our rep in the House is one of the head's of the problem makers; problem havers; well some sort of problem related caucus.

Summary of voting record: Representative Johnson opposes environmental protection, financial sector regulation, humane immigration policy, labor rights and wages, lgbt rights, avoiding default, racial equality, countering russian interference, women's rights and supports big business. Man, I am so glaad that this guy represents myself and Snarki

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But he’s a decent, moderate, upstanding man of conscience. Is it his fault that he can’t ever summon enough courage to act on it?

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He’ll be making a visit to American Breeders Service outside Madison any day now. For those males who don’t want to breed, they have electric anal cattle prods.

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My dad used to get ABS catalogs for Aberdeen Angus cattle (legit purposes only, I assure you!).

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Does he know about the cattle with electric anuses? Asking for a friend.

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Doubtful, or at least we never used those. But if you need shoulder length plastic AI gloves, I can set you up.

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Electric Anus Acid Trip is one of my favorite Tom Wolfe novels.

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Do Cattle Dream Of Electric Anal Prods?

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I had a college friend who was proud of his International Boar Semen hat

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That is a very targeted market.

When I was a kid, the truck would arrive periodically to deliver ampules of… er… *product*, and liquid nitrogen for the tanks it was stored in. Liquid nitrogen is fascinating stuff to a kid. (But remember, kids: Don’t play with liquid nitrogen!)

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Ok, now I’m in love with Representative Talvez-Todavía. I hope she uses that choke hold on Johnson.

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It's her outfit tho, admit it. If she'd been wearing the veep's cape it woulda been far less effective...

Come to think of it, if she'd been wearing that cape she'd probly also have a minion to take care of Toejam.

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Not to hijack this thing, but I just read the substack description of Roy. Says he has 'notorious gadfly nips'. Anybody actually seen this guy? 'Cause I'm guessin' our new speaker would wanna know.

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Who doesn't love Shane Magowan's original band. Shake it up, Shake it up, Gab, gab, Gabrielle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bDDAOJV1xU

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"When Republicans Wore Nice Suits" nails it, of course: it really doesn't need to be said in these precincts, but it was clear that the Ope-Ed Right will approve of Mike Johnson because he generally knows when to rein-in the Authentic Trump-Tier Gibberish and can form complete, grammatically correct, sentences, even if to me they have the objective correlate level of 'Colourless, green, ideas sleep fitfully.'.

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That goenj outfit is hilarious and so appropriate.

https://goenj.com/products/crochet-knitted-vest-layered-halterneck-midi-dress-set

BTW, that vest is KNITTED, not crocheted. I know it matters not to most people, but that distinction is one of my Things. Knitting (with 2 —or more!—needles) is smoother, thinner and arguably more complex than crochet (1 hook). Crochet is — in my view— generally too clunky for clothing.

I might buy the sweater vest, it’s well done, but I would NEVER wear it like that. And please spare me the shoes!! 👎🏻

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