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"Hey! He never said he wouldn't..."

This is the part of yesterday's shitshow that leapt out at me.

The Xtian Gundamentalists of my acquaintance are all jonesing to shoot some "protesters": which appears to mean anyone demonstrating against the Orange Emperor...

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Of course. Rightwing lunatics storming the Capitol and killing police officers, well, that's just exuberant tourism! Some women with handmade signs and pussy hats? Imminent threat to the Republican who must be summarily executed!

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I chatted up a DC cop over coffee at REI(!)* yesterday. Circled 'round the upcoming weekend workload and almost got to some serious discussion re: state of our collective world...only to settle on how great it is to patrol on bicycles instead of on foot or stuffed in a car.

*Needed new boots and needed to try them on to be certain they will fit rather than internetguessing. There were more shoe salespeople than all the customers in the entire rest of the store. REI's bricks 'n mortar will collapse soon – you read it here first (if you bothered to read this far, which, come to think of it, why?)

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Don't get me started on shoes! I wore size 9 my entire adult life. Indeed, I still have the dress shoes I bought to get married in, and they still fit. HOWEVER . . .

It turns out that I'm actually a size 11. Or 12. Or 13. Wide, and Extra-Wide. Or normal. At least, those are the sizes of the last few pairs of shoes/sneakers/hiking boots I purchased.

So the thought of buying shoes on-line is just horrifying. (It's like buying pants on line, where I've discovered my in-seam to be anywhere from 28 inches to 38 inches while the tape-measure says 32.)

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There's yer problem – nobody measures their crotch with a tape anymore – it's all lasers ( tho one must always be on the lookout for the AI-obfuscated dimensions)...

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Lasers?

"No, Mr. Derelict! I expect you to die!"

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Not in DC. Rich cities will always have showrooms. It's the rest of the country that will suffer.

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REI in Tucson is a hoppin’ place.

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Same in Reno. We have natural beauty in every direction.

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We are in full backlash territory, the era of the Highly Affronted Christian Patriarch. Like that guy quoted in the FT who said he feels liberated because now he can say words like retard and pussy without consequences.

But these guys will ALWAYS be disgruntled because what they really want is for everyone to treat them with unearned respect and deference, and they can't command that from anybody who isn't under their direct control. So their roiling frustration will be perennial.

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The treatment they will get from me is a reminder that whee the people will, when re-empowered like we were when a conservative Republican was president, tax them into submission. I've decided that nothing else even makes sense to contemplate because in all the rest of our shared existence no other tactic ever worked. The historical precedent is all we got – everything else is speculation.

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Well, there's the craving for respect. But do not underestimate how many of your fellow citizens are deeply hurt by their inability to use the n-word without people looking at them funny. I've heard this complaint from dozens of conservatives--that liberals have completely destroyed free speech because nowadays when I call the Black guy in the office the n-word, everyone looks at me like I'm a troglodyte!

That's the liberation they're really looking for. They want to go back to "the good old days" when you could be a racist ignorant misogynist moron and fit right in with the rest of your White friends.

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Absolutely. It's the guy at the top of the heap who gets to decide where the guardrails are placed. Now a bunch of other people are constructing guardrails, and THIS WILL NOT STAND. RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!

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They want the right to be an obnoxious asshole without being criticized.

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They really want to kill us. We’re not human to them, but nobody in the press cares.

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This. America as concentration camp. "We Demand Obedience And We Will Kill Anyone Who Disobeys, A Continuing Series"

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I hadn't heard "gundamentalists" before!

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We give our royal approval to this word! Merdre!

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I often forget you’re royalty

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Sometime King of Poland and Aragorn, we are

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WWJS (Who Would Jesus Shoot)?

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Well, far's I know he mostly shot the breeze...

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"...a blonde chick with big tits wearing..."

Roy seems to be spending too much time with my feed on the Blue Sky so I've been wondering about polluting the REBID system so to speak. Not that I'm likely to reference tits or genitals, although, because of the times we live in and temperament, the C word gets dropped occasionally.

So I'll take blame for the quote there...

But seriously...

This https://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2025/01/susan-collins-and-joni-ernst-refuse-to-meet-with-woman-who-accused-pete-hegseth-of-raping-her tells me that Hegseth's confirmation is a done deal. I'd like to assume no D votes; this'd be the one token nominee that'd get no D votes, all the others will get a few because dead norms or something.

Meanwhile, query: Donny sending troops into the streets and back roads differs from the NYS governor sending national guardsmen into Grand Central Terminal how?

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You are the GOAT!*

*Scaped

I dunno, were the guards, like, handing out emergency hot cocoas or somethin'?

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I don’t have a fuck for that.

But starting my work day looking at performative props with military arms did nothing for me…

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Uniformly negative response then?

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I suppose so.

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The subway soldiers were just to intimidate, not to murdalize.

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Or maybe to reassure the tourists that NYC was fasc enough for their cracker fears.

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3dEdited

"this'd be the one token nominee that'd get no D votes, all the others will get a few because dead norms or something."

Trying not to do this myself, assuming the worst in advance, I mean. I used to do this as a defensive mechanism, thought it might soften the blow when the worst does inevitably happen. But I found it just meant I was spending more total time in depression, why volunteer to get depressed in advance?

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Yeah. Trying not to do this TO myself is how I look at it.

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Being depressed AND paranoid means I do my catastrophizing as second nature. It's like heroin, it isn't even a defensive mechanism anymore, just a cynical acknowledgement of my shitty expectations.

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2dEdited

Depressed and paranoid? It's like you were born for this moment!

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I do it in advance because it’s how I remember who isn’t my ally.

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Don't forget the Pol-Rob police droid that immediately broke down and had to have troopers stand around it to keep it safe.

There's an allegory for America in 2025 right there.

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Fucking DINO Adams.

Don’t get me started… I’m ex-NYC, now NYC-adjacent. Motherfucker’s the worst mayor in forever, dirtiest mayor since at Jimmy Walker.

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+5,000 marks for the Magnus, Robot Fighter reference!

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I had to stop for a bit after "guinea Hitler" to wipe the coffee off my screen, lol.

I have to admit I did not expect GOP Senators to support Hegseth by offering a full-throated "hey, everybody knows we're ALL scumbags here! No need to single out Pete!" defense. The clown car is advancing on us at about 100 miles an hour, and the only good news is it's a cyber truck so maybe it will spontaneously combust before it mows us down.

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Or, being a Cybertruck, will slice the occupants to ribbons as they try to get out.

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So many cyberoptions!

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Raygun has a t-shirt with a picture of a cybertruck that says “this isn’t a car, it’s a cry for help.”

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I haven't seen the Muskenpanzer over in East Rochester lately. I wonder if it got wet and disintegrated.

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It's always great to see Republicans saying "Sure, he's a moral degenerate who's dangerously unqualified and completely unfit to hold office, but I'm going to vote for him!"

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3dEdited

They had a look at what Mitt Romney is paying for private security and that's all they needed to see that Mr. Hegseth will make a fine Secretary of Defense.

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You say it like it’s a negative. Change that “but” to “AND I’m going to vote for him.”

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Huh, I guess "content of character" went into the memory hole with "compassionate conservative".

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"it’s like trying to get high school students to read a book, it’s over"

2 marks for the sheer sadness of it...

We're just getting strung along (what's that sound?) by ~300million poopsmouth

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Could I just point out that the high school students with which Mr. Poopmouth is familiar may not be a representative sample?

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Fair.

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For background:

While leading the Office of Management and Budget during the first Trump [spit] administration, Russell T. McVoughtamous took steps to ensla...er... force federal employees to work without pay during a government shutdown.*

5th reich starter, soon to be baked in.

*that sentence is almost word for word from the Times yesterday

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Now see, I don't remember this, and I was still a Fed at the time. Possibly because our union (AFGE in my case) shot it down in flames.

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But... but... it's an EMERGENCY! Which we created!

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Oh Roy - So much win!

First off, I read that as " Violent Christian Louboutin Fuck -me Pumps" (which, honestly, sounded about right for this day and age - there's a shoe for every occasion!) ,"guinea Hitler', " feats of strength"

"kill if they look at us funny"

I laughed, oh, how laughed . ( And then I couldn't stop, until I stopped from exhaustion, in a fetal huddle on the floor, drool running out the corner of my mouth- which, considering the meeting I was in, proved to be rather embarrassing)

I got to figure out how to completely shut down for the next 10 days. I'm afraid I might lose my shit. I read about that little asshole Speaker of the House refusing to fly the flag at half mast during the inauguration ( small " I" , because fuck that guy) and I was apoplectic. My blood pressure was through the roof. I was worried I was going to spray blood out of my tear ducts. That's not good for you! Especially when you're 67. So it would be best for everyone if I just completely skipped the whole stupid Freak Show.

Now I could use bourbon- I know for a fact that'll work. Then I remember the time I smoked some black tar heroin on a houseboat while cruising some some big ass Tennessee lake. I went down to visit some friends and ended up partying with the people at the next dock. We went for a cruise after dark. The sky was clear, the stars were bright and evidently, the joint they passed me was buttered up with heroin.

I spent the rest of the night out on the dock watching the stars wheel overhead, trying to decipher the language of bullfrogs, not knowing or caring about anything. It was great!

That might be a lovely way to go through inauguration week.

I get Poopmouth and Catturd mixed up. One is real, right?Not the other ? Which is which? Are they both made up or do we just wish that?

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"I get Poopmouth and Catturd mixed up"

Synergy

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Just shake the box, Catturd rises to the top.

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Good old dependable bourbon!

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I'll probly take Metro down toward (not to, 'cause highly itchified trigger-fingerers surrounding it) the Capitol, so as I leave Union Station I will see over 50 flags at half staff, 'cause Mikey ain't got no standing in DC proper.

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Christ, I'd prefer if Lumpy would just dip into the public coffers for his Internet VI@g@r@ for fuck's sake if he's worried about things at full staff. What a proliferation of tiny, tiny men.

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Return of The Cruel Shoes!

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The bright side of this current shitshow is that, the lid being lifted off the id, assholes have declared themselves assholes by every standard of civilized ethics and the Internet is forever, as the song says.

https://youtu.be/6rGlcScJ0lE?si=AvHTyQtgO1B0FArA

And

https://youtu.be/2nTcDU73gLs?si=dSQ2qWhmReORPI5r

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Preceding the song was an ad for how to get rid of visceral fat, so, extra points.

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Depressingly accurate.

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When did you change from satire to straight reporting, Roy?

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Roy's editor: "For my money, he's still the best newsman in the business. Wotta yahn, wotta YAHN!"

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Dewey Cheatum and Howe. Lol

I called the office of my junior Senator, Joni Ernst, and suggested politely that she show some respect for the US military and her own years of military service by voting against drunken misogynist white supremacist Hegseth. More lol.

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Thanks for making the effort. I try to will myself to call Ron Johnson's office, and then all intention just drains out of me.

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Calls to my representatives do literally nothing, Iowa is Republican top to bottom, but I call anyway. Doing my civic duty, I guess.

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Yeah, I listened to some of Our Lady Of The Breadbags yesterday and was not amused.

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Are you a fellow Iowan? I thought only Iowans knew about poor Joni and the bread bags in her wee boots! Hog castration, also too.

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Oh, that was one that went national, though I had to refresh my memory of the reason. Answer: it's from her heart-tugging response to the 2015 SOTU.

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I THOUGHT it was a State of The Union. I have no idea why her name stuck in my head, but it has.

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"guinea Hitler." The past offers branding concepts for our new class of dude Hitlers.

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3dEdited

Bored Hitler Yacht Club. Collect 'em all!

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What else am I going to spend my ReichCoin on?

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They're all sold out of the KdF Wagens!

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I'll assume the nominee (I don't want his name in my mouth) was wearing a nice suit and had a fresh haircut. The GOP has its standards!

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Why, you just might be reading the mind of the NYT's chief fashion critic. Not merely a nice suit, but "Dressed for Defense" as he "wore his patriotism on his sleeve."

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You've got to be kidding me.

(I don't mean that literally.)

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eeeeyikes

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Real "Hitler at Berchtesgaden" vibes from that one

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I can see the hearings for all these degenerate goon nominees being like the auditions for Hitler in The Producers. Except, Bialystock and Bloom's rejects had some talent. And this show is not funny.

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Fashionable Fascists

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they got a goon squad and they're coming to town

beep beep

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This isn't "obeying in advance", this is grabbing the Astroglide and bending over with a smile.

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Schooley's great, but as with other good observers, recent formulas ("sane washing") crop up. They've become shorthand, though they don't capture the reality.

I'd say the FTNYT believes it is above obeying anyone, instead pursuing a sacred charge of setting the national news agenda. Which makes it all that much worse.

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Most evil people believe they are the good ones

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Boss, I continue to be impressed with your deep knowledge of haute couture. And yes indeed, those shoes make a statement. Actually they bellow a statement. If you drop off the grid I'll know where to look for you - as a dresser in the Garment District. Most impressive.

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I'm reading Ms. Framastat with very strong accent, maybe being Slavic, maybe threatening moose and squirrel

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I'm a bit late. Anyone know the senate hearing story behind cannot say "mom and dad"

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More "wokeness" bullshit.

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Thank you. Searched on "mom and dad woke"

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lol, when mom and dad are magic anti-woke words.

Using your search term, it looks to have originated in a 2022 Focus on the Family meltdown over the Air Force Academy. (Who better situated to police language use permitted in Colorado Springs?)

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I remembered Alex Jones had gone off about it several times, but I couldn't recall the exact context.

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