184 Comments
Nov 14, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

“Trump Takes Veteran’s Day Speech in a Very Different Direction”

There was a lot of criticism of the NYT for that headline, and also criticism that Ivanka Trump’s testimony in the fraud trial had been covered by the Style section. I agree an organized crime family’s trial doesn’t belong on the same page as the latest offerings from Saks, but what struck me most was their infantilizing description of Ivanka herself. The combination of whiteness, blondeness, and wealth is so potent it can transform a savvy 42 year old businesswoman who has run her own company for 15 years and had an office in the West Wing into an innocent ingénue, as if she were a recent college graduate who had merely interned at Daddy’s office.

So in reference to the above unconscionable headline, my newest theory is the Times has assigned the writing of ALL headlines solely to people from the Style section. If Trump promised to unleash a world-destroying nuclear holocaust when he is re-elected, the headline would read “Trump’s Second Term Plans May Impact New York’s Fall Fashion Week.”

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Nov 14, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

I think it is abundantly clear that it is time we appoint you our fashion correspondent, our Rilke of the Silky, our Sublimes of the Times, our Fun Way of the Runway, our Confessor of the Dresser, our Reviewer of the Couture, our Spock of the Frock, our Hippery of the Frippery...

Ah, maybe not...

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Nov 14, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

I will accept the appointment, but only if I can have ALL those titles, lol.

The tragedy of my life is despite my politics, I love high-end fashion. It’s a good thing I’ve never won the lottery, I would be stoned to death at a DSA meeting for showing up in head to toe Tom Ford or Chanel.

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Nov 14, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

There'd be the not-necessarily-small struggle with the boss over composing the flowery descriptions of protagonists' outerwear (and sometimes inner!) at the weekly Bolt Upright eruption, and the continuing Mar-a-Lago imbroglio...

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Careful, I think the Fashionistas were one of the types of "vermin" Trump promised to "root out."

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I'm picturing certain critters rodentian with fur dyed fabulously* from the roots out.

*no other term will do

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Also when has that fucker ever "rooted out" a single thing in his life? My God, he might get DIRT under his fingernails! I say he should draw on a lifetime of experience and threated to evict us.

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Only the (((decadent)j) (((avant-garde))) would be “solutionized”

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“… and if appointed, I will not only serve, I will be fabulous!”

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Goes without saying, darling.

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"it can transform a savvy 42 year old businesswoman...into an innocent ingénue" Branding. The Trumps are good at it. Not much else. And that innocent ingénue can transform into Secretary of State in 2025 if Daddy wills it.

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Pretty blonde lady is pretty and blonde. The end.

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Well, yes and no. Tressie McMillan Cottom has been doing some great writing (at the NYT, ironically enough) deconstructing a woman’s “blondeness” as the pinnacle of white womanhood, which confers on her both higher status and a child-like innocence that will acquit her of all but the most conclusively proven wrongdoing – and even then, provides a kind of mitigation.

It is the polar opposite of Blackness, which can turn a 12 year old boy playing with a toy gun into a dangerous assailant, or which interprets the mere femaleness of a young Black girl who has been assaulted as a kind of adult sexual provocation.

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Dis ingenue? Us?

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Where are the hard-bitten reporters of yesteryear like Frank Bruni?

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LOL.

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Bruni knew how to sink his teeth into a story!

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You mean Frank "we were all guffawing in the press room watching the first debate in 2000 because W came off as such a complete idiot but then wrote stories about how he had exceeded expectations and Gore looked stiff" Bruni?

that Bruni?

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I'm just assuming it's the Times being the Times, with its new chewy right-wing center.

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Right-wing center...?

Isn't that an either/or?

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Overton Window done shifted.

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Shifted Over a TON!

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Nov 15, 2023·edited Nov 15, 2023

“Times Takes Snuggling Up To Fascism in a Very Different Direction”

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“They tell reporters in journalism school not to let themselves turn into the story, but people are talking about the New York Times’ recent coverage of former President Trump. Some say it’s irresponsible — others fair and balanced!”

I used to be an avid reader of the times before it allowed Senator Fascist, I mean Cotton, to call for the use of the military on peaceful protestors, spewing his hate, lies and alternative facts.

The times “is the news that always fit to print,” except when democracy is on the line, or they want to profit off of a manufactured war, like Iraq. Or when they hold a story for more than a year about Bush’s illegal wiretapping of Americans after 9/11; only to print the story once they realized a competitor was about to go to print.

The NYT’s is dead to me! They were never the bastion of liberty ideas and democracy; just pretenders who throw enough red meat to its base, to keep them occupied.

End of story!....:)

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Nov 14, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Judith Miller is all I'm gonna say.

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don't stifle yourself. brooks, noonan, baker, douthat, dowd. I could go on.

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Maggie Haberman, The Trump Whisperer. . .

Periodic reminder that the Times consistently got beat on Watergate because they treated it like a normal political story (which it wasn't) while the Washington Post treated it like a crime story (which it was).

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You had me at hello!....:)

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When You've Said "Judith Miller", You've Said It All.

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But... but... what if you want bullshit polls a year ahead of the election, huh? What're you gonna do then, huh?

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You get still can get all the bull shit polling from guys like Chris Cillizza, if that’s your fancy....:)

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Sure, but I like to start my panic with "Even the Liberal New York Times", and Chris Cillizza won't do that for me.

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Fair enough...:)

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That poltroon?!

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Adding here: If C. R. Anderson can flaunt "seasteading", I hereby proclaim "poltroon" the word of the hour.

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In the same thread with pelf? I say we let 'em fight it out in a cage match.

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“Poltroon” really does sound like it should be a component of a racing sailboat…

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No boat can be yar unless its poltroon is properly presented.

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USA Today is still on the racks isn’t it?

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You mean, today?

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Hey, anyone else remember that bit at the end of Three Days of the Condor where Redford says "They've got the story now" and the camera pulls back to reveal the front of the Times building? Or did I just imagine that? Was there a time when these institutions were held in respect?

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Yeah, but wasn't the last line " But will they print it?" Even then the Times was only possibly the good guys.

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Nov 14, 2023·edited Nov 14, 2023

Ah, thanks for remembering that! Yes, even then you couldn't trust the Times.

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Nov 14, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

There's a 50-50 chance that American democracy will end next year. The media in this country is either cheerleading this (like the NYT, NBC, and many other major organizations) or just unable to deal with understanding this. Roy's parody of a Sunday snooze show was overtaken by Poe's Law just this past weekend as the Sunday Showz danced around and away from Trump's actual statements and announced plans for ending American democracy.

So depressing!

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Nov 14, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Clicks and views, clicks and views. The world may be burning, but when that happens people will need to be updated, and constantly! Clicks and views.

That plus the fact the decision makers at legacy media have the money to insulate themselves from the impact of draconian authoritarianism.

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Nov 14, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Up to a point. But then they don't realize that.

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Nov 14, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

They don't. And if you tried to explain it to them they wouldn't believe you. Privilege -- is there anything it can't do?

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Nov 14, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Brownshirts never learn.

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It reminds me of that chestnut where someone explained Paul Ryan's documented policy positions to a focus group and they refused to believe it. Some people just don't take well to having their world view blown to smithereens.

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"I don't know that AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME KNOW IT" is now absolutely essential to remaining a Republican.

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Everything I know I learned from a shamelessly self-promoting, endlessly lying, anti-American insurrectionist.

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Yea they really don’t get that Herr Trumpler also means them. They figure that because they’re the fifth estate they’re untouchable.

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Media content purveyor: "Oh sure, now all you scoff at our obsession with gathering clicks & views. But after the apocalypse, who will all have those sweet sweet clicks & views when you need to build a fire or trap skunks for dinner. We will, bitches, and the price only goes up!"

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"Hey buddy...wanna buy a skunk?"

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Cleaned and dressed!

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New Yorker cartoon of man in tattered suit with a group of children in rags, gathered around a fire: "Well, for a while there we created some tremendous value."

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Wasn't it "shareholder value"? And if it wasn't, it should have been.

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I like your memory better than mine.

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Just look at social media, a kind of simulation run for the commercial media as a whole, and how quickly it's been taken over by propaganda bots and reactionaries.

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Some of my best friends are propaganda bots, but, to be fair, I don't get out much...

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The End of Democracy is great for clicks!

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I guess I'm more optimistic about our prospects even if the monster does win, but NONE of my optimism comes from the media. Fucking useless.

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And I'm one of the saps who bought a Post subscription the day after the 2016 election because DEMOCRACY DIES IN DARKNESS. Thought I was performing a brave act of #resistance or something.

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Ditto. Still beating myself up for that rookie mistake.

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Nov 14, 2023·edited Nov 14, 2023

“Democracy Dies in Darkness” is actually a stage direction in the Post’s interpretation of a Pinter play.

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Democracy exits, pursued by bear.

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Good think it wasn't Chekhov. A democracy up against the wall in Act 1, must be shot in Act 3

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I think it would abruptly switch to Scooby Doo, and the gang would rip off Democracy’s mask to see who the villain was.

*gasp!* “Old Man Oligarchy! It was you all along!”

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Democracy dies in Des Moines.

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Nov 14, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Unfortunately I had a mouthful of coffee when I read, "Picture of TRUMP giving a Nazi salute with the caption WHAT, ME WEIMAR?" : )

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I immediately imagined Alfred E. Newman with a TFG combover.

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There's zero percent chance MAD hasn't done that on a cover at least once. Fuckin' Donald has been famous a long time; we're a stupid people.

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Fame! I wanna pursue every last penny of pelf extant in the know universe from the safety of my permanent presidency forever!

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Kudos, that's maybe the second time I've seen the word "pelf."

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Keep your pelf to yourself.

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Next time I'm in Guelph.

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And don't gimme no lines.

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Bern: the only wielder of English prose since SJ Perelman to have ever used that word?

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Nov 15, 2023·edited Nov 15, 2023

I pulled that one down from the dusty, tippy-top shelf.

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I’d like to see it! If I had any photoshop skills I’d create it myself.

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Nov 14, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

"UPRIGHT: Actually, Peoni, it was fifty-five years ago, the Columbia president was Grayson Kirk, and they held Harry Coleman hostage, but I take your point."

Wait! The hosts correct their pundits? Is that a thing? Surely if it happens it's too rare to matter.

"How can the Times loosen the death-grip of its radical leftist reporters?"

Their editors and, more so, the headline writers don a fine job doing that.

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Nov 14, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

I admit that I googled 'August 5th 1981' because 1) I did not believe Doyenne, and 2) I figured Roy would play with us exactly this way...so in some ways I was disappointed...

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Oh but it's a red-letter holiday for Pegs, er, um, Peoni.

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Nov 14, 2023·edited Nov 14, 2023

When you consider how much time she spends high as a kite, you'd think she'd have more respect for the people who keep her from crashing and burning.

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Which reminds me I was wondering if in this new moment of TERRORISTS EVERYWHERE anyone's heard of the OG crusade whisperers like Pammy Gellar.

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Officer of the Guard?

Occasional Groypers?

Occupational Gerontologists?

Orange Guys ('n Gals)?

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At risk of needless pedantry, I'm tempted to tell / remind you

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original gangster

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author

I think this is the only meaningful debate they believe they CAN have

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How many Soccer Moms and Office Park Dads can dance on the head of a pin?

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All of them, Shirley!

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you're my reason to get out of bed before noon!

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I know, I know... just when everyone else is grabbin' lunch and I'm comin' in from another all-night bender. NOBODY wants to be in the same bed with me at noon!

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Probably! -- with the qualifier of “On those rare times they care to call out any BS”.

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Nov 14, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

The current NYT’s pandering to and sanitizing of the most authoritarian fascist to enter American politics in a hundred years, not to mention his grifting spawn, is the perfect bookend to its relentless attacks on the Clintons. I read the Times to know what the oligarchy wants the hoi polloi to believe. Also the crosswords. I do miss the women’s lingerie ads in the Sunday magazine section of 60 years ago and also Hirschfeld’s Nina. Plus the digital edition doesn’t meet the need for matériel for paper mache projects that the Times of my youth did. And their op ed page is only surpassed in rightwing pseudo intellectuals by the Washington Post.

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Nov 14, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

New Yorkers as a subspecies are naturally disposed to revile Arkansans and other lesser folx. So that's just natural. The Times won't likely sell any papers there anyway. Easy pickin's.

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Can't deny. I keep up a good line of hillbilly humor. It's what Paul Henning would have wanted. https://edroso.substack.com/p/trump-hunt

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I miss Benzedrine.

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One of the very most bestest lyrics to any truckin'song includes the line

"Caffeine Nicotine 'n Benzedrine...and wish me luck!"

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"It’s the tenth largest holler in the state!"

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Guilty as charged. But I'm working on it.

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The Ninas! I miss them too.

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Israel Takes Gaza In An Intriguingly Different Direction

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Mike Johnson Takes Governance in a Very Different Direction

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Jim Jordan Takes Democracy in a Very Different Direction

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Donald J Trump Takes Women's Studies in a Very Different Direction

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Clarence Thomas Takes Judicial Economics in a Very Different Direction

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Yer a one-man comment board! Ever consider forming a band?

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You're on fire today.

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Jeffery Dahmer Takes Dinner in a Very Different Direction

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Alex Jones Takes Cultural Commentary in a Very Different Direction

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Nov 14, 2023·edited Nov 14, 2023

Um... digital. (ETA: Meant to be a response to the "Womens Studies" one, but it kinda got Lost in the Thread)

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We're hip.

"When you're the biggest asshole in the history of the universe, they let you do it!"

"Hold my beer", says Jack.

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"Down the hall. Shower room's on the right."

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Oofed, heartily.

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Medals from the eastern campaign supposedly had the nickname in the German army of "Order of the frozen meat."

In case you're wondering where Barbecuesa got its ribs.

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FTW!

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Hitler himself took the German army in a very different direction (eastward) with Operation Barbarossa.

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But his franchise restaurant didn't really catch on.

What's that, you say?

Oh, sorry – Barbecuesa.

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Maybe two decades back I was appalled to see the fictional Hannibal Lecter views as not just a protagonist, but a hero. This hits me the same way..

II’ve heard racists and kluxer/ milita types speak approvingly of Hitler all my life; and actually shocked this hasn’t gotten more pushback, especially from the GOP officeholders and candidates...but, like Bari Weiss and A.Sullivan they are really quiet.

I see Ronna McDaniels actually defending it.

Of course, the death threats would flow if she did.

Jefferson said of slavery:”It’s as if we had a wolf by the ears: fearful, but we may not let go.”

Same with whatever was once sane in the GOP and the MAGAts who are in the driver’s seat.

And I hate it when Jim French is the NYT moderate.

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Speaking of Ronna McDaniels and "wolf by the ears" I just saw a report about Trump threatening to leave the Republican party and start his own, and her response being "Oh, would you like me to jump, sir? How high?"

So we'll never get to find out what percentage of his votes come from people who just vote R out of habit, because it's the only thing they've ever done their whole lives, and what percentage are actually bugfuck crazy. It's a shame.

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It is a shame, but an understandable one. I'd bet the seed corn they've got that Double Top Secret Internal Polling that goes down to interviewing house pets that tells them exactly how many voters they lose if they cut Trump loose, and it's a lot bigger than we think. They'd ALSO have to abandon the Southern Strategy and come up with a new line of patter to convince the rubes the billionaires are on their side, and there's almost no one left alive who remembers a time before Nixon, except maybe Roger Stone, and he's not gonna help them. Where do they turn for ideas? David Brooks? The Cato Institute? Elon Musk? You see the problem they have.

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My 10 Years in a Quandary and How They Grew

is already taken. Darn.

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Assuming he pulls 40-50 million voters, he and whoever runs as a Republican split the anti-Biden vote and Biden gets elected to another four years. My God, it's the end of the world. At least they'd be better positioned to come back as a semi-normal party in 2028, but that's like four whole years from now, and we can't expect anyone to plan that far ahead.

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Yeah, that's the problem, it's the logical and rational thing to do to neutralize Trump, who is an actual threat to the continued viability of the Party, as well as a money black hole and a huge pain in the ass. So why aren't they doing it? The only answer I can come up with is they're convinced losing Trump's base would be a mortal blow to the Party, putting them on the same path the Whigs went down. That, or they're even dumber than any of us can imagine, because there's a good chance that Trump leaves the Party a smoking crater, along with a big chunk of the USA.

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Well, the simplest explanation for all of this is that they're just afraid of being murdered. Keep your head down and your mouth shut and hope you and your family survive.

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Apparantly there's a story in that guy Karl Something's new Trump book, where Trump threatened Rona Romney, the RNC chair, that he would start a 3rd party. "But that would mean we never win again!", Rona cried. "Yeah, that's the point of a threat, sweetheart" Trump should have said. I think Republicans can imagine a fate worse than death.

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I love how they've each written a new book every time they appear. Our host's creativity knows no bounds.

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The book titles this time around absolutely killed me, three perfect shots to my funnybone.

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Same. "Liberals: Should We Kill Them Quickly, Or Do They Deserve To Die Slowly -- A Collection Of Essays."

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Nov 14, 2023·edited Nov 14, 2023

Republican Party Platform: "To Serve Man"

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GOP Takes Paleo Diet in a Very Different Direction

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2 teethmarks!

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Nov 14, 2023·edited Nov 14, 2023

Liberals: The other white meat.

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Peoni's is particularly funny for me, given I recently found out about The Tuttle Twins, a book (and now video!) series by a Mormon Libertarian about how two average kids learn about Bitcoin, Ludwig Mieses, and "The Creature From Jekyll Island" from their rabidly anticommunist Cuban grandmother, whose Rascal scooter is actually capable of traveling through time and is powered by green slime generated by remembering Libertarian dogma.

It gets weirder, trust me.

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Links or it didn't happen.

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I bothered to look 'em up, and then decided life's too short to click on 'em, so I'm entirely comfie taking Pop's word for it.

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Enjoy!*

https://youtu.be/qRY_WACXAM4?si=ZupOoZiECmaq0h75

*Enjoyment not included

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Came up as an ad for something called "Creepshow" on AMC+?

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Goddamn YouTube. Try this:

https://youtu.be/Yhe0LgQDgNg?si=C6rQWffPrL02Cpy1

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It's a Libertarian, you have to pay extra to enjoy it

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Buy yourself a Supreme Court Justice and then watch it with him in his new RV.

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"Rascal scooter is actually capable of traveling through time" but can't get the fuck out of my way when I'm in a hurry.

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Kingman Brewster...Grayson Kirk! Now those are names I haven't thought about in 25, uh, 55 years. Ivy president names so ideal, even a non-lush might conflate them.

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And they pass the test of all real upper-crust WASP names: They could be someone's name whether read forwards or backwards: Meet your new President, Kirk Grayson! Or is it Brewster Kingman?

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Wasn't Brewster Kingman kind of Punky?

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"Maldito Triunfo!"

That's what I heard first thing this morning working with my new co-workers. I hope I spelled that right. It means "Fuck Trump" Don't let anybody with blow smoke up your ass about the "emerging bloc of Hispanic Trump voters"

These aren't stupid people and they know

all about Trump's plans for immigration.

I'm moving my department to another facility. One full of greenhouses . The staff are these beautiful, hard-working, good-natured brown people. The kind of people that grow all of our food and all the beautiful flowers.

Fuck a bunch of Nazis. We really didn't need that. At least it's all out in the open.

You know, Hitler and the original Nazis we're veterans of some of the most brutal combat ever known at places like Verdun and the Marne. Trump , on the other hand, is a pussy and his followers are veterans of some of the most brutal virtual combat ever known in games like Call of Duty or Halo.

I really want a Bolt Upright t-shirt. Or maybe a decal to put on my Trapper Keeper.

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I think QueensMan may have been to a battle or 2 in the early days with the vermin at one of his pop's joints, just to show him the ropes.

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"Hitler and the original Nazis we're veterans of some of the most brutal combat ever known at places like Verdun and the Marne."

And the German populace went through the wringer with the hyperinflation. For us, gas at $4 a gallon for a month or so and we're ready to go Full Nazi.

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I keep hoping tRump and the Klanification of the GOP in the Social Media Era is the upstroke in Karl Marx’s thought , usually rendered as “ history repeats itself first as tragedy, then as farce”: not WWI vets, but social media Culture War vets; who believe the economy is bad because they’ve been told so, because wages are rising, and to get the social benefits they need they have to allow Them, the Undeserving, the dusky Criminals and deviants, to have power, and access to Stuff. In the Real World, we need immigrants, and diversity because they work and make money, and Environmental and Justice investing are more or less profitable.

The idiot yarp about “THEY’re changing America!!” Seeks to hide the radical surgery they plan for America, unanesthetized, and the hateful Authoritarian racist changes they seek. Stasis is death, and one party is at least trying to manage the inevitable changes, instead of insisting only the Markets and money flows work, and we must worship, and coddle,if not subsidize the Rich.

1/6 was a Bureaucratic Beer Hall Putsch: this analogy is so bad, but: here’s Hoping ol’ Joe, whom I support, won’t be Pres. Hindenburg by allowing tRump to be a political actor.

Maybe some version of Nazism was “historically necessary”: but one wonders what the world would look like if the great general had deported the Austrian corporal to, say, Cameroon.

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Here's another headline: "Peter Thiel is Taking a Break From Democracy"

It's the Atlantic, not a paper, but c'mon. He says he's keeping his money out of this presidential race. Zero for Trump this time! (We'll see.) Anyway, there was nothing for him to take a break from. If he could have bought the government directly, he would have done so, democracy be damned.

I won't miss an opportunity to mention "seasteading" on my way out.

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Der Blutgraf doesn't have Leonard Leo money. He just wants to keep his options open, so when the Trumpzis enact the Night Of The Short Fingers he isn't caught by surprise.

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Nov 14, 2023·edited Nov 14, 2023

After reading The Atlantic article, I concluded that Peter Thiel has the mentality of a child who knows he's really, really special, more special than anybody else in the world, and can't understand why all his money — physical proof of his incredible specialness — doesn't automatically guarantee him immortality.

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And he's "taking a break from democracy". Because that's what he was doing before, democracy.

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Gay, but happy to throw ordinary queers under the fascist bus.

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Let's be fair, he'd want to keep the really hot ones as pets.

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When you are as singularly special as he is, why should ordinary queers be any different than the rest of us?

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Hey, any "seasteading" enthusiasts interested in funding an Abortions R Us cruise ship on permanent station in the Gulf? A brave Libertarian Experiment, yes? No? OK, I'll see myself out.

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Look at that face! Would Peter Thiel lie to you?

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Sepulchral

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I'm fully expecting a headline from the Times if Trump wins like "Reporters confined to new Trump camps" with a subhead "Questions raised over strategy".

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Nov 14, 2023·edited Nov 14, 2023

"Damn, I was all ready to write that 'Ohio Diner Patrons Unconcerned by Press Restrictions' story, but that guy up in the guard tower with the machine gun wouldn't approve my travel."

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Cleanup on aisle NEIN!

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Don't veir the puns, they're a lotta fünf!

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Mind your Männers.

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Man der wimmins!

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I’m sure if the Post reporter or someone could just reach out even more to Mr. Cheung, we could straighten this whole thing out.

Reaching out to them is like approaching a lion with a T-bone in your hand.

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That full quote from Mr. Cheung mentioned "snowflakes whose world will be crushed by the return of President Trump."

Well, yeah, definitely something will be crushed, I believe the Wagner Group uses a sledgehammer.

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Obligatory oof.

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"Look what you made me do!"

Oh, Butch, as a wise man once said, you gotta know when to hold them.

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