OMG - Roy, come clean now. . . did you make this up, or is this just one more of those things thatcha can't make up? My brain hurts so much, I wanna know who to blame it on!
Well, now, can we really be so certain who "won"? Questions were raised, some of the results were disputed, and would they be disputed if there wasn't something seriously wrong? Without a full forensic audit, how can we ever know?
The funniest thing here is how literally no one can stand Bari Weiss -- probably including her own mother, who likely lets her calls go straight to voicemail, lmao
Apparently Jordan Peterson responded to Trudeau’s plea for everyone to get boosted with “you’d have to kill me first.” That’s quite an attractive offer, but if he continues to eat only red meat and broth, any action on the Canadian government’s part will be unnecessary.
What a coincidence: this piece goes out prematurely the same morning I wake up much too early. Inexplicably, it seems Melatonin makes my sleep worse.
Anyway.
I see Williams name and start thinking: we’re I so inclined to write a mid-20th century pastiche and/or parody of an intellectual frustrated over insufficient success and being generally ignored for offering too little insight with a pretentious, portentous style, Williams’ career and so on would be on whom I base the character. Just saying. Then again, maybe a handful of pundits have anything to offer anyway…
my god i read the U of T link to the JP diatribe, and after a couple of paragraphs, was certain it was a parody site. what a self-righteous prig he comes across as! i may not be as S-M-R-T as mr peterson, but i am a lot less racist. whatever it is he's against, i'm for!
Jan 20, 2022·edited Jan 20, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso
"on a venture still in formation" "Venture" is the tell - That's vulture speak for easy money scam. MItt Romney went on lots of ventures. JD "Fat Chance" Vance is able to run his embarrassing as fuck senate race on all the venture money him and Pete "Night Stalker " Theil put together.
To be fair - Beer Pong is a game of skill requiring countless hours of practice to master.
Does Bari still have her substack thing? I haven't seen that upskirt picture she uses lately. The one that looks like she let out a massive fart that's popping umbrellas open and blowing people over.
Roy, how did you find the time to write that Peterson parody in the “National Post”? You definitely captured his unique combination of cliche, bigotry and self importance. Also that page looks like it could be a real article, if it wasn’t an obvious mashup of the “National Enquirer” and “New York Post.” Really, don’t hide your genius behind a click.
This scholar has read FAR TOO MANY self-inflated (WM, natch) academic gasbags to not lol-wince reading JP's self-righteous, prissy screed -- what makes it better is if you read it in his wheezy, chestless voice.
Imagine him at singing lessons: "I resent being told to sing from my diaphragm. This is an attempt to drain the essence of manhood fundamental to Western civilization, diluting its steady drip into the merest female contrivance, designed to rob our juices of their natural potency."
I kept waiting for a lobster reference. But it was just one long, extended whine about whitey being oppressed. Had no idea that Peterson's health issues had broken him that much.
At one point I thought I recognized former presidential speechwriter Stephen Miller: "Are you really so blind, cowed and cowardly? With all your so-called privilege?"
I'm pretty sure someone has said this before, but it's possible BW's theory of "cancel culture" was based on her experiences on Jewish Singles dot com, getting ghosted after two DMs.
I mean, I have no idea what Jewish singles are (the output of light-hitting second basepersons?), nor ghosting, nor DM's (but maybe I could be convinced to picture Weiss getting turned down by a couple of Dungeon Masters...ooh, but try not to think of the cosplay!)
And no, come to think of it, I can't imagine anyone could have said it before...
"Ghosting" is when the light-hitting Jewish second base-person/shortstop mimics but doesn't actually touch the second base bag on the double play. (Just kidding)
Oh shit this is brilliant. What an incredible & hilarious use of the (underexplored!) genre of meeting minutes. Your theatrical forays are uniformly excellent (& often sublime), but this is just genius.
Agree, but I must also complain that the meeting minutes format deprives us of Roy's brilliant wardrobe notes and scene-setting, and I hate to see genius limited like that.
I started reading that, and my brain short-circuited. He's quitting because...his students are too white, and will therefore be denied jobs when they graduate? And because the whole university-industrial complex is too woke?
Come on, man. Nobody quits a tenured job over that kind of nebulous bullshit. I smell a sexual harassment scandal.
Yeah, I read about half of his gibberish. Basically he made his points, unsupported by any recitation of statistics or links to the articles or studies he cited, in prose so florid and self-congratulatory that I couldn’t take it anymore.
i read as much as I could stand (Jesus, man can you get to the Goddamn point, like EVER?) and as far as I could tell it's Man Who Refuses to Admit There's a Problem Doesn't Like Proposed Solutions to the Problem.
OMG - Roy, come clean now. . . did you make this up, or is this just one more of those things thatcha can't make up? My brain hurts so much, I wanna know who to blame it on!
"Co-President Weiss also informed the new members that she had won the beer pong tournament."
Perfect.
Well, now, can we really be so certain who "won"? Questions were raised, some of the results were disputed, and would they be disputed if there wasn't something seriously wrong? Without a full forensic audit, how can we ever know?
Are you trying to cancel her? This oppression will not stand!
"which offer was declined"
Let the record show...
The funniest thing here is how literally no one can stand Bari Weiss -- probably including her own mother, who likely lets her calls go straight to voicemail, lmao
Apparently Jordan Peterson responded to Trudeau’s plea for everyone to get boosted with “you’d have to kill me first.” That’s quite an attractive offer, but if he continues to eat only red meat and broth, any action on the Canadian government’s part will be unnecessary.
Wait, where’s Larry Summers?!
Busy being Emeritus.
What a coincidence: this piece goes out prematurely the same morning I wake up much too early. Inexplicably, it seems Melatonin makes my sleep worse.
Anyway.
I see Williams name and start thinking: we’re I so inclined to write a mid-20th century pastiche and/or parody of an intellectual frustrated over insufficient success and being generally ignored for offering too little insight with a pretentious, portentous style, Williams’ career and so on would be on whom I base the character. Just saying. Then again, maybe a handful of pundits have anything to offer anyway…
I read "Melatonin" in a Charo-ish sorta voice, then wondered why, and suddenly remembered this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgYyIjqMeWs
Blame It On The Melatonin!
my god i read the U of T link to the JP diatribe, and after a couple of paragraphs, was certain it was a parody site. what a self-righteous prig he comes across as! i may not be as S-M-R-T as mr peterson, but i am a lot less racist. whatever it is he's against, i'm for!
"on a venture still in formation" "Venture" is the tell - That's vulture speak for easy money scam. MItt Romney went on lots of ventures. JD "Fat Chance" Vance is able to run his embarrassing as fuck senate race on all the venture money him and Pete "Night Stalker " Theil put together.
To be fair - Beer Pong is a game of skill requiring countless hours of practice to master.
Does Bari still have her substack thing? I haven't seen that upskirt picture she uses lately. The one that looks like she let out a massive fart that's popping umbrellas open and blowing people over.
Yes, this. Think Seastead II: Schoolstead
Roy, how did you find the time to write that Peterson parody in the “National Post”? You definitely captured his unique combination of cliche, bigotry and self importance. Also that page looks like it could be a real article, if it wasn’t an obvious mashup of the “National Enquirer” and “New York Post.” Really, don’t hide your genius behind a click.
This scholar has read FAR TOO MANY self-inflated (WM, natch) academic gasbags to not lol-wince reading JP's self-righteous, prissy screed -- what makes it better is if you read it in his wheezy, chestless voice.
Imagine him at singing lessons: "I resent being told to sing from my diaphragm. This is an attempt to drain the essence of manhood fundamental to Western civilization, diluting its steady drip into the merest female contrivance, designed to rob our juices of their natural potency."
Easy Gm – don't wanna blow your whole wad in just one comment thread...tho I'd be happy to witness the show!
“…Mandrake.”
(I heard it in the voices of the adults in the Peanuts cartoons, interspersed with "the German for 'The Bart, The'")
Endorsed
As a self-inflated WM academic gasbag, I do not have a wheezy, chestless voice. I have a wheezy chesty voice. So yay me
I kept waiting for a lobster reference. But it was just one long, extended whine about whitey being oppressed. Had no idea that Peterson's health issues had broken him that much.
Raises an interesting question. If Peterson was in “The Lobster” what animal would he choose to be?
Kafka Peterson's "Metamorphosis"
At one point I thought I recognized former presidential speechwriter Stephen Miller: "Are you really so blind, cowed and cowardly? With all your so-called privilege?"
I'm pretty sure someone has said this before, but it's possible BW's theory of "cancel culture" was based on her experiences on Jewish Singles dot com, getting ghosted after two DMs.
Hearted with reservations.
I mean, I have no idea what Jewish singles are (the output of light-hitting second basepersons?), nor ghosting, nor DM's (but maybe I could be convinced to picture Weiss getting turned down by a couple of Dungeon Masters...ooh, but try not to think of the cosplay!)
And no, come to think of it, I can't imagine anyone could have said it before...
"Ghosting" is when the light-hitting Jewish second base-person/shortstop mimics but doesn't actually touch the second base bag on the double play. (Just kidding)
I can live with that definition.
i support this!
Jewish singles are likely unmarried Jewish people, DMs are probably direct messages
I think her theory of cancel culture theory comes from her attempt to cancel one of her college Professors. EAIAC
Oh shit this is brilliant. What an incredible & hilarious use of the (underexplored!) genre of meeting minutes. Your theatrical forays are uniformly excellent (& often sublime), but this is just genius.
Thank you!
Agree, but I must also complain that the meeting minutes format deprives us of Roy's brilliant wardrobe notes and scene-setting, and I hate to see genius limited like that.
Holy shit, the Iron Sheik twitter feed is incredible. Thanks, Roy.
Lol. These clowns deserve every hoot of derision they receive and more.
Co-President Weiss also informed the new members that she had won the beer pong tournament. Well, I guess that's something.
I thought that the end of Peterson's article would be "I am not a crank."
I started reading that, and my brain short-circuited. He's quitting because...his students are too white, and will therefore be denied jobs when they graduate? And because the whole university-industrial complex is too woke?
Come on, man. Nobody quits a tenured job over that kind of nebulous bullshit. I smell a sexual harassment scandal.
It's a Bari Weiss "you can't not fire me, I quit!" strategy.
Yeah, I read about half of his gibberish. Basically he made his points, unsupported by any recitation of statistics or links to the articles or studies he cited, in prose so florid and self-congratulatory that I couldn’t take it anymore.
Fox news show in 10...9...8...
Top writers no when to make subtext, text.
Bottom writers no when to make text, subtext
i read as much as I could stand (Jesus, man can you get to the Goddamn point, like EVER?) and as far as I could tell it's Man Who Refuses to Admit There's a Problem Doesn't Like Proposed Solutions to the Problem.
Bari, thy grifting is to me
Like those Herbalife scams of yore,
That dully, o'er a sordid sea,
The keening, cancelled pundit bore
To his own tawdry shore.
The whole staff of UATX be yammerin’
Weiss an’ Peterson reduced to stammerin’
With no sense left to speak
Bring on Iron Sheik
Or nails in their own heads they’ll be hammerin’