Some days I really wish I had the energy to go after pumped-up little prigs like Dreher, Sully, or Weiss. But I took one look at that BW column & my head started swirling with the fumes of her bad faith. Her parlor must smell like the stage space right behind a county fair hot dog eating contest, right after round two.
The Trumpolini ringleaders (Hawley, Cruz, McCarthy, etc.) do not understand that an insurrectionist mob is a terribly blunt instrument that is impossible to control. I'm sure they think that, if that mob had caught up with any of them, they would have been recognized and carried in triumph on the mob's shoulders. The truth is that they would have been torn to bloody rags because the mob is dumb, violent, and blind.
I hear all of them now calling for healing and unity. They say going after Trump is just divisive, tracking down the insurrectionists is divisive, holding people like Cruz and Hawley accountable is divisive. But I guess trying to have your political opponents murdered ISN'T divisive; trying to overthrow the government ISN'T divisive.
Sorry, assholes: The comity train left the instant Trump sicced the mob on the Capitol. You're all traitors and need to resign from Congress to go spend more quality time with your lawyers.
I'm usually heavily amused by almost everything here but this made me laugh:
"‘Sides, when they was still co’nting th’ votes, we cawl him up an’ we ast him if mebbe he waunted t’ come down heah an’ lay low fo’ couple days, ‘cawsa tha shame, an’ he stouted hollerin’ real lahd with lauts a’ bad langidge, an’ thet’s how I knowed he lawst fo’ sho’."
And this too:
"Reason ah ast is ‘cohs thet Dawn Jewn-yer, he lahked to rub awn mah feet with his willy, which ah let him do foh a hunerd bucks. See, he was mad when he heard ‘baht that Huntah Bahden, how he gawt hisself a foot jawb, an’ he waunted one hisself ril bad so ah give it to ‘im."
And:
"I might could tell yew abaht Pres’dent Trump then, an’ hah he paid me ta suck an’ rub ohn his scraggly dick whilst ah was wearin’ a wig an’ sayin’ oooh daddy ah’m a good girl."
And:
"Y’all see how red he git when he trah to do sumpin’ stren’ous, lahk tah his shoe?"
And:
"Hey Miz Wise — you gimme fitty bucks, I woan’ tell ‘em you’s a Jew."
I had blissfully forgotten all about Bari Weiss, a person whose entire career is based on mounting a soapbox, clearing her throat, and yelling “But now you’ve gone TOO far” to anyone who would listen.
Plus, Salena Zito covers this same beat much more entertainingly.
It’s great to hear Joe Scarborough call Trump a fascist, 5 years too late, but discouraging to hear him then deny that the 74 million Republicans who voted for a fascist twice aren’t also fascist.
Wait, this is a humor day on REBID. Sorry! How about staging “The Last Days of Pompeo” with John Goodman in the title role? We open with Goodman/Pompeo at the Belgian border saying, “What d’ya mean, I can’t come in? I have an appointment at the European Investment Bank. What? It’s been changed to the International Court?”
Methy and the gang are so Ozark, it smarts.They're like a DarkWeb Beverley Hillbillies. If they make it to Washington can they be corrupted by Matt Gaetz and interviewed by Glenn Beck?
It IS fun to speculate on what Trump will do with the rest of his life if he's banned from all media. Eat hissef to death sounds about right. This is not a man with a rich interior life.
Bravo. Writing dialect this skillfully is a lost art that has fallen into disfavor for some reason. These days, even in novels, you're more likely to read something like, "Maisie Belle, in her impenetrable Kentucky holler dialect, said, 'Of course we do. Everybody knew Trump was going to lose." You have the gift. The likes of Mark Twain and Finley Peter Dunne are applauding from the grave.
Weiss can take that "comity" and use it to scrub the Trumpshit out of her toilet. And her past columns (but I repeat myself)
Some days I really wish I had the energy to go after pumped-up little prigs like Dreher, Sully, or Weiss. But I took one look at that BW column & my head started swirling with the fumes of her bad faith. Her parlor must smell like the stage space right behind a county fair hot dog eating contest, right after round two.
The Trumpolini ringleaders (Hawley, Cruz, McCarthy, etc.) do not understand that an insurrectionist mob is a terribly blunt instrument that is impossible to control. I'm sure they think that, if that mob had caught up with any of them, they would have been recognized and carried in triumph on the mob's shoulders. The truth is that they would have been torn to bloody rags because the mob is dumb, violent, and blind.
I hear all of them now calling for healing and unity. They say going after Trump is just divisive, tracking down the insurrectionists is divisive, holding people like Cruz and Hawley accountable is divisive. But I guess trying to have your political opponents murdered ISN'T divisive; trying to overthrow the government ISN'T divisive.
Sorry, assholes: The comity train left the instant Trump sicced the mob on the Capitol. You're all traitors and need to resign from Congress to go spend more quality time with your lawyers.
I'm usually heavily amused by almost everything here but this made me laugh:
"‘Sides, when they was still co’nting th’ votes, we cawl him up an’ we ast him if mebbe he waunted t’ come down heah an’ lay low fo’ couple days, ‘cawsa tha shame, an’ he stouted hollerin’ real lahd with lauts a’ bad langidge, an’ thet’s how I knowed he lawst fo’ sho’."
And this too:
"Reason ah ast is ‘cohs thet Dawn Jewn-yer, he lahked to rub awn mah feet with his willy, which ah let him do foh a hunerd bucks. See, he was mad when he heard ‘baht that Huntah Bahden, how he gawt hisself a foot jawb, an’ he waunted one hisself ril bad so ah give it to ‘im."
And:
"I might could tell yew abaht Pres’dent Trump then, an’ hah he paid me ta suck an’ rub ohn his scraggly dick whilst ah was wearin’ a wig an’ sayin’ oooh daddy ah’m a good girl."
And:
"Y’all see how red he git when he trah to do sumpin’ stren’ous, lahk tah his shoe?"
And:
"Hey Miz Wise — you gimme fitty bucks, I woan’ tell ‘em you’s a Jew."
And almost as funny but points for being real:
https://www.jta.org/2021/01/12/politics/alexandria-ocasio-cortez-and-ted-cruz-fight-a-twitter-battle-over-holocaust-analogies
I had blissfully forgotten all about Bari Weiss, a person whose entire career is based on mounting a soapbox, clearing her throat, and yelling “But now you’ve gone TOO far” to anyone who would listen.
Plus, Salena Zito covers this same beat much more entertainingly.
It’s great to hear Joe Scarborough call Trump a fascist, 5 years too late, but discouraging to hear him then deny that the 74 million Republicans who voted for a fascist twice aren’t also fascist.
Wait, this is a humor day on REBID. Sorry! How about staging “The Last Days of Pompeo” with John Goodman in the title role? We open with Goodman/Pompeo at the Belgian border saying, “What d’ya mean, I can’t come in? I have an appointment at the European Investment Bank. What? It’s been changed to the International Court?”
But why the Belgian accent?
Methy and the gang are so Ozark, it smarts.They're like a DarkWeb Beverley Hillbillies. If they make it to Washington can they be corrupted by Matt Gaetz and interviewed by Glenn Beck?
If she wants to find common ground she ought to start by wearing a T-shirt that reads, Bari My Heart emoji on K Street. Oh, the agony of the effete!
It IS fun to speculate on what Trump will do with the rest of his life if he's banned from all media. Eat hissef to death sounds about right. This is not a man with a rich interior life.
Bravo. Writing dialect this skillfully is a lost art that has fallen into disfavor for some reason. These days, even in novels, you're more likely to read something like, "Maisie Belle, in her impenetrable Kentucky holler dialect, said, 'Of course we do. Everybody knew Trump was going to lose." You have the gift. The likes of Mark Twain and Finley Peter Dunne are applauding from the grave.
WEISS: [Grandly] That sort of thing doesn’t interest me.
Don't be too sure. She might go on the down low.
Ah yes, another fine entry! I'll be laughing about this one all day.