27 Comments
Jan 13, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Weiss can take that "comity" and use it to scrub the Trumpshit out of her toilet. And her past columns (but I repeat myself)

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Some days I really wish I had the energy to go after pumped-up little prigs like Dreher, Sully, or Weiss. But I took one look at that BW column & my head started swirling with the fumes of her bad faith. Her parlor must smell like the stage space right behind a county fair hot dog eating contest, right after round two.

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Jan 13, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

The Trumpolini ringleaders (Hawley, Cruz, McCarthy, etc.) do not understand that an insurrectionist mob is a terribly blunt instrument that is impossible to control. I'm sure they think that, if that mob had caught up with any of them, they would have been recognized and carried in triumph on the mob's shoulders. The truth is that they would have been torn to bloody rags because the mob is dumb, violent, and blind.

I hear all of them now calling for healing and unity. They say going after Trump is just divisive, tracking down the insurrectionists is divisive, holding people like Cruz and Hawley accountable is divisive. But I guess trying to have your political opponents murdered ISN'T divisive; trying to overthrow the government ISN'T divisive.

Sorry, assholes: The comity train left the instant Trump sicced the mob on the Capitol. You're all traitors and need to resign from Congress to go spend more quality time with your lawyers.

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AOC did a live video this morning in IG about how her biggest fear at that moment was that the GOP congress-peoples barricaded with her would tweet her location or actually hand her over to the mob. That new scumbag from CO did actually live-tweet Pelosi's location. I think we need to talk 14th Amendment as a minimum here. Especially these Q and fash members. They're traitors & terrorists & cannot be trusted with national security information, & are actively working to destroy the body they were elected to serve. Viruses are alive in some technically biological sense, but they have to stamped out when they enter a body. Sorry about it

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Can never be unity between the sane and the deranged.

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Jan 13, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

I'm usually heavily amused by almost everything here but this made me laugh:

"‘Sides, when they was still co’nting th’ votes, we cawl him up an’ we ast him if mebbe he waunted t’ come down heah an’ lay low fo’ couple days, ‘cawsa tha shame, an’ he stouted hollerin’ real lahd with lauts a’ bad langidge, an’ thet’s how I knowed he lawst fo’ sho’."

And this too:

"Reason ah ast is ‘cohs thet Dawn Jewn-yer, he lahked to rub awn mah feet with his willy, which ah let him do foh a hunerd bucks. See, he was mad when he heard ‘baht that Huntah Bahden, how he gawt hisself a foot jawb, an’ he waunted one hisself ril bad so ah give it to ‘im."

And:

"I might could tell yew abaht Pres’dent Trump then, an’ hah he paid me ta suck an’ rub ohn his scraggly dick whilst ah was wearin’ a wig an’ sayin’ oooh daddy ah’m a good girl."

And:

"Y’all see how red he git when he trah to do sumpin’ stren’ous, lahk tah his shoe?"

And:

"Hey Miz Wise — you gimme fitty bucks, I woan’ tell ‘em you’s a Jew."

And almost as funny but points for being real:

https://www.jta.org/2021/01/12/politics/alexandria-ocasio-cortez-and-ted-cruz-fight-a-twitter-battle-over-holocaust-analogies

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Jan 13, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

I had blissfully forgotten all about Bari Weiss, a person whose entire career is based on mounting a soapbox, clearing her throat, and yelling “But now you’ve gone TOO far” to anyone who would listen.

Plus, Salena Zito covers this same beat much more entertainingly.

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Jan 13, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

It’s great to hear Joe Scarborough call Trump a fascist, 5 years too late, but discouraging to hear him then deny that the 74 million Republicans who voted for a fascist twice aren’t also fascist.

Wait, this is a humor day on REBID. Sorry! How about staging “The Last Days of Pompeo” with John Goodman in the title role? We open with Goodman/Pompeo at the Belgian border saying, “What d’ya mean, I can’t come in? I have an appointment at the European Investment Bank. What? It’s been changed to the International Court?”

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Jan 13, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Brussels to Den Haag is 112 miles (as the vulture flies).

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Jan 13, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

But why the Belgian accent?

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author

Hmmph!

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Jan 13, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Methy and the gang are so Ozark, it smarts.They're like a DarkWeb Beverley Hillbillies. If they make it to Washington can they be corrupted by Matt Gaetz and interviewed by Glenn Beck?

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Jan 13, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

If she wants to find common ground she ought to start by wearing a T-shirt that reads, Bari My Heart emoji on K Street. Oh, the agony of the effete!

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Jan 13, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

It IS fun to speculate on what Trump will do with the rest of his life if he's banned from all media. Eat hissef to death sounds about right. This is not a man with a rich interior life.

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Jan 13, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Bravo. Writing dialect this skillfully is a lost art that has fallen into disfavor for some reason. These days, even in novels, you're more likely to read something like, "Maisie Belle, in her impenetrable Kentucky holler dialect, said, 'Of course we do. Everybody knew Trump was going to lose." You have the gift. The likes of Mark Twain and Finley Peter Dunne are applauding from the grave.

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author

Very kind of you. I kept thinking Mitch McConnell but I think I may have to do some proper study for future installments (because I would have to lose Maisie Belle and Benzedrine just because Trump is gone).

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Oh, nooooo!

They can -- and should -- be repurposed. They're clearly fine people and good Americans.

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You can move them on up to the East Side. Literally: they get some rent-free place in a Trump building to keep quiet and to keep an eye on them and then lookit them go.

Now for the TV series:

I see Joi Lansing rotoscoped out of "Hillbilly's in a Haunted House" (but feral and with fewer teeth) for Benzedrine (voice by Katey Sagal), Patton Oswalt for Maisie Belle, and Aubrey Plaza for Sugg. Do Don 'n' Eric with C.G., like "Guardian of the Highlands"/"Sir Billy"-level C.G..

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Don't tell me. It's Roy Ed's call.

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He Sees All

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I think a bit of the luster of dialect writing has worn off because it was far too often used as a means of marginalizing & caricaturing POC (Joel Chandler Harris perhaps). But I agree that in the right hands (Twain at his best, John Kennedy Toole, or even James Joyce) it can be amazing for satire.

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Twain really spoke them, from Missouri to California, and Huckleberry Finn proves that he spoke African American too (my hypothesis is he created Huck out of self-censoring an idea for a Tom Sawyer whose best friend was Black).

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Didn't white people routinely use black personae to say the things they felt they weren't permitted to say? This really came home to me in 'coon songs' once I listed to a few. Whites could express sexual desire and frustration in "Shine On Harvest Moon", they could in effect allow as how their own fathers didn't necessarily cut it in "Everybody Works but Father"—hell, they could ascribe even bigotry outward with "All Coons Look Alike to Me".

(excuse the expression)

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Sure thing, but special credit to Twain for using it to expose racism. It wasn't the bravest approach but it was effective.

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Jan 13, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

WEISS: [Grandly] That sort of thing doesn’t interest me.

Don't be too sure. She might go on the down low.

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Bari Weiss definitely has an OnlyFans. No shame in it. Roy does too. :P

It's just how bad it's gotten for journalists in this country...

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Jan 13, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Ah yes, another fine entry! I'll be laughing about this one all day.

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