87 Comments
User's avatar
Bern's avatar

Recess. Please recess. Off you go children, whilst I and the rest of my colleagues slip into the staff room and break out a bottle o – oh, never mind...

Also "SENATOR TED CRUZ: [His voice immediately pitched into community-theatre-production-of-Shenandoah register]"

1.5 marks. Woulda earned the full 2 if you'd gone the full Showboat: "Elderly Man River!" for all you wolk folk...

Worriedman's avatar

I'm beginning to think we may have a problem with race relations in this country.

At first I thought Marcia Blackburn needed to lose the Backdoor Beauty haircut. Then I realized it's perfect.

Why are the four worst people in America the only people asking questions?

SnarkiNorski's avatar

And why do these Senate kabuki hearings take so long? This sh!t should get done in an afternoon so they can get on to other business. (I know, it’s the senate where nothing gets done except grandstanding.)

billcinsd's avatar

I believe they set rules for how long each member can speak, although they can give some of their time to another Senator.

D. Sidhe's avatar

Also, sometimes they just go over time and dare the democrat to gavel them to order. Which you'll notice didn't happen.

DJ Crystal Clear's avatar

Because, racist, White America.

Mommadillo's avatar

So if Judge Jackson truly has "a special empathy for criminals" as suggested by Mitch McConnell, why isn't she getting along better with Republicans?

SteveB's avatar

If what they're saying was true, she'd be a major contributor to the Matt Gaetz campaign.

Grouchy Medievalist's avatar

I think we all know what that's code for

SteveB's avatar

I guess her brother the police officer also had a special empathy for criminals because... well, you know.

redoubtagain's avatar

Hell, in that case she'd already be a Republican Congresswoman from a "pocket borough" in Utah somewhere.

SundayStyle's avatar

It’s important to remember conservatives are showing their entire asses for a Court that will still favor them by a 6-3 majority. Can you *imagine* what the Republicans would be doing if these hearings were for a 5-4 SCOTUS?

For those of you on twitter Elie Mystal, a lawyer, author, and columnist at The Nation is doing the best blow by blow of the confirmation hearings, if you can stomach following along – he’s knowledgeable AND funny, which is important if you want to retain your sanity.

D. Sidhe's avatar

Second this. Also, he pisses off the right people something fierce.

D. Sidhe's avatar

Also @AngryBlackLady and Rewire News Group are doing good coverage.

rfc's avatar

Wow — I didn't know you were in the room!

Worriedman's avatar

I bet that's where he was going on his bike the other day when he ran into those truckers.

SteveB's avatar

And why he was riding so slow, nobody's ever in a hurry to hear Lindsay Graham.

Grouchy Medievalist's avatar

I knew it must be bad when the NYT stepped in to bothsides the proceedings...

redoubtagain's avatar

This. Per Senator Cruz, raising an anti-racist baby is a *bad* thing.

Grouchy Medievalist's avatar

He was all for the fake "racist baby" ad posted by DJT back in 2020

Manqueman's avatar

Haven't been following the hearings closely enough to know whether or not this is verbatim. On one hand, Roy doesn't do verbatim do probably not. Yet even if true and Graham did in fact act exactly as portrayed here -- or Tailkisser Ted, the Intolerable Beaver Boy -- the mainstream would probably ignore it for the most part, so who knows? Not saying this *is* verbatim, just asking questions.

But in any case, whether this is an Edroso Original® or a verbatim transcript, gotta say this made me laugh:

"...it was a thing that was done, them days, like Percy or Bruce, if a fella gave you a hard time about it you would have to lick him. I mean in the sense of a fight. [Silently laughs.]"

SteveB's avatar

I counted, and Judge Jackson is allowed exactly 8 words in this, so that seems accurate.

Ellis Weiner's avatar

...although her first reply should have begun, "Um...thank you, Senator."

SteveB's avatar

Refusing to thank her betters like that, it's downright uppity.

SnarkiNorski's avatar

My “favorite” feeble Dem response was Patrick Leahy chiding the Republican yahoos for their bad behavior. “In all my 48 years in the senate I’ve never seen…” Buddy, preening that you’ve been ossifying in the senate for a half century isn’t the sick burn or appeal to authority you think it is. Plus, playing the “you’re acting like children” card isn’t going to get you anywhere with the republicans. That “shut up and listen to the Adults In The Room” crap only works on keeping Democrats in line.

Bern's avatar

The World's Greatest Debilitative Body!™

SteveB's avatar

Sounds better than The World's Most Expensive Assisted Living Center™

Bern's avatar

Suckin' up all 'em gummint handouts!

Sociable-ized Medicine!!

Death panels!!!

Interns!!!!

Metal Detectors!!!!!

(to be fair, at least they are not subject to Mental Detectors)

SteveB's avatar

If only it really was an assisted living center, so the staff could drug up the crankier ones and get some rest.

billcinsd's avatar

Yes, I am slowly falling apart. You don't need to make a big thing out of it.

Jeffrey Kramer's avatar

Yes, exactly. "You are demeaning the sanctity of this Institution, sir!" is just Frank Capra meets Aaron Sorkin in a field of smarm . I think that literally the only thing I liked about Trump was that he was Demeaning the Sanctity of the Office of the Presidency like a motherfucker, 24/7, and I thought maybe that meant there was a chance we wouldn't have to listen to any more lectures about it from Serious Civil Centrists.

Bern's avatar

"Frank Capra meets Aaron Sorkin in a field of smarm"

If you build it they will...uhmm...

SteveB's avatar

Are they still doing that "My colleagues across the aisle" shit? It'd be easier to persuade the voters that there's something... WRONG about the Republican party if we could actually use the word "Republican" when they do wrong things.

k_kamath's avatar

The bits I heard from the likes of Cotton, Graham, Hawley, Blackburn revealed how idiotic the GOP has become. I thought chasing poll numbers was bad practice. But pandering to stupid people and showing your own stupidity and incivility has now replaced that. In Blackburn's case she actually seems genuinely ignorant. Cotton could use a good licking.

SteveB's avatar

The main story is "Democrats want to hurt your children." They'll put pedophile-coddlers in the court and dirty books in your school library that will turn your kids gay and he-shes in your girls bathroom, etc. Others have noted the parallels to Qanon theory, and how these attacks will push all the right buttons for the fools who believe that shit.

In short, to normal people this all appears idiotic, but to people who've been primed to believe all Democrats are child-rapists, it's a brilliant expose of something they've known all along. My guess is that's somewhere between 40 million and 70 million people.

SnarkiNorski's avatar

As they’ve discussed previously on The Majority Report, this attack goes back to the 1970s when women started working outside the home and needed childcare. Suddenly there were panics about satanic rituals at daycares, the children aren’t safe without their mothers, etc. Its roots are in misogyny, and they repackage it periodically to be anti-gay or against some Other group, but the basic framework has been there for a long time, ready to be reused.

SteveB's avatar

Yes, this is major difference between how Republicans and Democrats run their campaigns. Dems want to campaign against Ron Johnson, for example, they compile a dossier of all the things RoJo has said and done, and then use that. Republicans say, "Oh, it's a Democrat, we'll just go with 'Socialist who's soft on crime' like we always do." The Republican approach works better with low-information (i.e. stupid) voters, because it doesn't require them to assimilate any new information, it just triggers ideas that are already in their heads.

Increasingly, those stock lines of attack will grow to include Qanon ideas, like "linked in some shadowy way to child sex predators." But it has to be done over time, given the slow uptake rate of information of their target voters.

SnarkiNorski's avatar

Too many Dem politicians —especially the older ones—like to deliver a long, dry litany of all the specific reasons to vote for them and against the other guy. Or unfurl a long, scrolling résumé, or drop a 500-page policy statement, and triumphantly assume their case is made. (And when it doesn’t work, find a scapegoat to blame—voters, BLM, whatever.) it doesn’t occur to the party of Hollywood to use theater and advertising to persuade voters viscerally.

SteveB's avatar

Conservatives have always had a built-in advantage with stupid people because conservatism is based on the idea that the things you already know, handed to you by Meemaw and Peepaw, are good enough. Meanwhile, liberals are like, "Did you know there's more than 2 genders? It's true!" and man, do stupid people HATE learning new things.

SnarkiNorski's avatar

Liberals get dragged into fighting culture war battles on Conservatives’ turf—issues where conservatives appeal to gut-level feelings while liberals dutifully (and pedantically) explain in minute detail why their feelings are wrong. The liberals are right, but you’re never going to win that battle, so stop feeling obliged to fight on the turf of the enemy’s choosing. Pick a culture war issue you can win. There actually are some! Keep the Rs on defense for a change, while they scramble for the next Dr Seuss scandal.

billcinsd's avatar

"Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives."

JS Mill

billcinsd's avatar

(And when it doesn’t work, find a scapegoat to blame—voters, BLM, whatever.)

The perfidious left

SnarkiNorski's avatar

They owe us their votes, not their back talk!

SteveB's avatar

C'mon, they've made an effort to update, nobody was talking "Adenochrome" in the 12th century.

DJ Crystal Clear's avatar

Cotton needs a good KICKING, and then a PICKING.

wuffster's avatar

You're not wrong. I got unconciousably angry watching that pipsqueak.

SteveB's avatar

Cotton takes a licking and keeps on nitpicking

redoubtagain's avatar

Never has Cotton more needed a boll weevil to shut it up.

Jeffrey Kramer's avatar

"Are you familiar with this book, Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Vol. 2, that I am holding in my hand?"

I'm laughing. I'm crying. I'm sobbing. I'm drinking heavily. I'm....

Bern's avatar

Easy, son...it's early yet.

D. Sidhe's avatar

True, but this month alone has lasted nearly six years, and it's not getting any better. Time, as they say, is an illusion.

billcinsd's avatar

Lunch time, doubly so

Jeffrey Kramer's avatar

Haha, it's almost 9 PM in Bangkok.

Bern's avatar

Time's a-wastin'!

billcinsd's avatar

And the guy who plays the banjo

keeps on passing me the Old Crow

It multiplies my sorrow

I can't take it anymore

Grouchy Medievalist's avatar

"Wouldn't you agree that the title "Unbeatable Squirrel Girl" implies that the character could not be beaten by Our Lord & Savior, which we all know is disprespectful & blasphemous."

SteveB's avatar

My God, she's the human-animal hybrid George W. Bush tried to warn us about!

billcinsd's avatar

I think it should have been some Dr. Seuss as Ted once did a talking filibuster using the Seusster. I think One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish might do the trick

Bugboy's avatar

"...should be judged by the contents of the(ir) underwear —"

*Chef's kiss* This describes perfectly the OCD on display by Republican'ts, and Conservatives in general.

SteveB's avatar

Well, for all their idiocy, they got a WaPo headline that had Judge Jackson's name and the words "child pornography." I assume that was the goal, we'll see that headline slapped up on our TV screens about a million times between now and the midterms. No limit to what you can accomplish when you have no principles and an (accurately) low opinion of the American Voter.

Bern's avatar

Not to mention the WaPo headline wrangler...

SteveB's avatar

The NY Times went with "Graham, Jackson Spar Over Critical Race Theory" like it's some sort of "debate" they were having instead of him badgering her while she fends him off and checks her watch.

LarrytheRed's avatar

Just say it plain - that n***r bitch doesn't qualify.

Mark Lungo's avatar

Remember that famous quote from Lee Atwater? For decades, Republicans have been trying to make it 1954 again.

SteveB's avatar

Now, now, no need to break out the n-word, "Show us your LSATS" does the job just fine.

DJ Crystal Clear's avatar

Larry The Red, you are spot on, because that’s what they’re just DYING to say.

Everyone knows that’s the truth.

I’m waiting for a Freudian Slip.

Gerald Fnord's avatar

Note: Ryan North of "The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl" (and "Dinosaur Comics", and "Adventure Time Comics" and "How to Invent Everything") has a new book just out, "How to Take Over the World: Practical Schemes and Scientific Solutions for the Aspiring Supervillain" which like "How to Invent Everything" is a barely stealthed science/technology book. I suggest people read it, or at least buy it, or throw the man something on Patreon.

billcinsd's avatar

Love Ryan North. I have how to invent everything. I already have like 5 patents, so I am well on my way

Ellis Weiner's avatar

My only complaint is that this is too short.

R.Porrofatto's avatar

Just brilliant as usual. Unfortunately, the smear questions always hit their mark -- television. Last night, the NBC nightly news showed Blackburn, Graham, Cruz and Cotton "asking" their questions, with only a few seconds of one of Judge Jackson's replies, if that (probably because that's all the time the questioners allowed her). Mission accomplished.

That said, with all the talk of pornography at these hearings, I was really surprised yesterday that Cruz didn't take the opportunity to recommend one of his favorite films, "Dick for Two" at some point.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/j5geay/dick-for-two-the-porn-ted-cruzs-account-liked-on-twitter-finds-huge-new-audience

SteveB's avatar

"Picture you, on my knee, dick for two and two for tea..."

Bern's avatar

Nope. Not heartin' that one. No, no, no...