49 Comments
Jul 27, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Shorter Turner: I'm a tough city guy who can put up with the rigors of urban life, and let me tell you: Us urban tough guys don't give a shit about anyone's feelings. Which is why I am compelled to write about how my feelings are so badly hurt by BLM Plaza that I'm leaving the city. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

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Jul 27, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

"As a frequent protestor I keep telling dumb outlanders that nothing even resembling a riot has occurred in D.C. since early June, despite the propagandists using that word for every march and demonstration, secure in the knowledge that their target readers already think every city is a Death Wish theme park and every not-entirely-white gathering a riot."

Conservative shibboleths and canards never die. Partly because facts and truth almost never support the wing nuts, sometimes for the joy of simple nostalgia for days gone by. Like law'n'order bringing back the good old days of Tricky Dick Nixon. (Of course, Trump being a moronic sociopath, does it in a way that makes it quite likely to hurt his reelection chances.)

That said, fuck Turner, fuck his feelings and I personally am cancelling e.g. treat him as the irrelevancy he is. He's nobody and why would anyone -- anyone who matters -- care about him?

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Jul 27, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

“One square mile of Federal Plaza surrounded by nine square miles of Queens” is probably the best description of DC I’ve ever heard.

I have to wonder if there is any audience for Turner’s piece BESIDES Koch. He comes off as too elitist for the rubes: expensed-out dinners, cigars, and high teas? C’mon. And it’s not like he bought a farm and belatedly embraced the wholesome lifestyle of Real Americans, he just moved to the suburbs. But he definitely knows feces plus graffiti are the twin signifiers of Evil Urban Decay for the MAGAts.

And it practically goes without saying this guy needs to take a ticket and get at the end of the long line for the guillotine.

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Jul 27, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Wait until he T-bones a deer in his Escalade. Sorry, it’s Monday.

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Jul 27, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

He probably lives in Burke. Or if that’s too ghetto for him, what’s left of Woodbridge.

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Jul 27, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Like I said on LGM, I bet this jerk already did live someplace like Loudoun County and this "Farewell To All That" screed is just what you called it, bullshit.

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I have a feeling Turner is another of those soulless factota who turns out to only be like 35...

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Jul 27, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

He sounds like my brother waxing eloquent over the yuppization of High St., while I morn the loss of the dive bars and weird people who used to congregate there. But it is "clean" I guess.

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Jul 27, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

“19th-Century Knickerbocker knobs“ is the name of my new barbershop quartet.

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Jul 27, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

“an historic church”

I hate that pretentious Britishism so much. Unless you’re speaking wi’ a cockney accent and also say “an housing development” and “an Houston policeman,” it’s an ungrammatical affectation. But then that’s the least of this douchebag’s sins.

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Poor the timing. Everyone who stays in DC is going to have the Electoral power of a Wyoming rancher when we make it a state.

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Roy, have your team of unpaid interns find photo evidence

of this goon at afternoon tea.

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Haha - Portland is burning to the ground I've heard, except when I made the hour drive into Portland for a follow up with my oncologist last week everything seemed completely normal. It was a sunny, nice day there in NW Portland and people were out and about acting like nothing was up. Because nothing was up. All the action in Portland is in a few city blocks downtown, everything else fine. My middle son lives right there in SE Portland and hasn't noticed anything. He does avoid the downtown area.

It's all just stupid theater ginned up by the fascist pigs invading downtown Portland. People will believe what they want to but that's the point, there are things they want to believe and facts and reality just get in the way.

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Speaking of Queens, this guy, like his uncle Bob Turner (creator of the Jerry Springer Show and the Republican who won Anthony Weiner's seat in a special election) appears to be from Breezy Point. This gated beach community has to be the whitest, least urban, and most Republican place in all of NYC -- so purely white it was once euphemistically described by the NY Times as "fiercely insular", and so gated even Google street view cameras can't go there. (I don't know about his, but Uncle Bob's house burned down with 130 others during Hurricane Sandy. I bet Bob got some sweet gub'mint money to rebuild.) His "6th generation New Yorker" ersatz street cred is stolen from his Brooklyn ancestors, because this asshole's bullshit "city kid, through and through" NYC urban experience is tantamount to beach life in one of the Hamptons.

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They wouldn't let him put "Hey, fuckface, get off my farm" in this ode to suburbia, or wherever. The McCloskeys types will make great neighbors.

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I'll give him a credit. At least he's putting his money where his mouth is and moving to a place where the neighborhood center is a Walmart. So many of these conservatives badmouth big cities while conveniently living and working in them.

It's curious that big bad CNN is headquartered in Georgia (Atlanta, but still, a red state) while Fox News is nestled right in Manhattan. Curious, that is, until you realize they're all carnival barkers selling cons to rubes. They make fun of lattes and yoga while sipping on milky coffee after finishing the downward dog.

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