Shorter Turner: I'm a tough city guy who can put up with the rigors of urban life, and let me tell you: Us urban tough guys don't give a shit about anyone's feelings. Which is why I am compelled to write about how my feelings are so badly hurt by BLM Plaza that I'm leaving the city. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
"As a frequent protestor I keep telling dumb outlanders that nothing even resembling a riot has occurred in D.C. since early June, despite the propagandists using that word for every march and demonstration, secure in the knowledge that their target readers already think every city is a Death Wish theme park and every not-entirely-white gathering a riot."
Conservative shibboleths and canards never die. Partly because facts and truth almost never support the wing nuts, sometimes for the joy of simple nostalgia for days gone by. Like law'n'order bringing back the good old days of Tricky Dick Nixon. (Of course, Trump being a moronic sociopath, does it in a way that makes it quite likely to hurt his reelection chances.)
That said, fuck Turner, fuck his feelings and I personally am cancelling e.g. treat him as the irrelevancy he is. He's nobody and why would anyone -- anyone who matters -- care about him?
Here in Seattle, where it was supposed to hit 90+ degrees (95 in my suburb, though I don't know if it did because I slept through the day), we like to tell people who don't live here that it rains constantly. It limits the number of people who want to visit or move here.
“One square mile of Federal Plaza surrounded by nine square miles of Queens” is probably the best description of DC I’ve ever heard.
I have to wonder if there is any audience for Turner’s piece BESIDES Koch. He comes off as too elitist for the rubes: expensed-out dinners, cigars, and high teas? C’mon. And it’s not like he bought a farm and belatedly embraced the wholesome lifestyle of Real Americans, he just moved to the suburbs. But he definitely knows feces plus graffiti are the twin signifiers of Evil Urban Decay for the MAGAts.
And it practically goes without saying this guy needs to take a ticket and get at the end of the long line for the guillotine.
Like I said on LGM, I bet this jerk already did live someplace like Loudoun County and this "Farewell To All That" screed is just what you called it, bullshit.
Ah, maybe that explains why he's leaving DC - it's in part because of the "miserable commute" from DC to, um DC. He seems to be kind of a idiot, or alternatively, an jerk.
Maybe he took the NYT article on Making Your Second Home Your Primary Residence to heart. Seriously, he thinks he's a "real" city person? Dude, I'd say shut the fuck up at the best of times when you're treating homeless people as inconvenient litter, but it's a fucking pandemic and recession, there are gonna be a *lot* more homeless people right quick, for reasons that I'm betting he advocates. People, real people, regardless of where they live, are SUFFERING. Sit down and save your bitching about how unpleasant that makes things for you until it's over, and you can continue to hate on people who are the ordinary victims of your privileged lifestyle.
Roy, I know you do this a lot, but consider either making this one public or just fucking send it to him, because he needs some cancel culture right quick.
He sounds like my brother waxing eloquent over the yuppization of High St., while I morn the loss of the dive bars and weird people who used to congregate there. But it is "clean" I guess.
I hate that pretentious Britishism so much. Unless you’re speaking wi’ a cockney accent and also say “an housing development” and “an Houston policeman,” it’s an ungrammatical affectation. But then that’s the least of this douchebag’s sins.
In my old edition of Fowler, he describes Polish as being "transliterated" into English. It's not - it's "translated." Polish uses the Latin alphabet, with some small differences from the English/American version, just like any other Euopean language that has some diacritical marks and accents that English doesn't. Hence, I don't consider Fowler an authority.
Haha - Portland is burning to the ground I've heard, except when I made the hour drive into Portland for a follow up with my oncologist last week everything seemed completely normal. It was a sunny, nice day there in NW Portland and people were out and about acting like nothing was up. Because nothing was up. All the action in Portland is in a few city blocks downtown, everything else fine. My middle son lives right there in SE Portland and hasn't noticed anything. He does avoid the downtown area.
It's all just stupid theater ginned up by the fascist pigs invading downtown Portland. People will believe what they want to but that's the point, there are things they want to believe and facts and reality just get in the way.
Ah. Dinesh D'Souza went after the dude who got arrested for trying to talk to the cops. He suggested that being a vet--as the dude is--is not a good excuse to burn things, which he apparently thinks they all did by, I dunno, committee? Round-robin? Who knows. He got all upset about the lawbreaking done by this dude, who, again, was arrested for talking to the cops. I'm pretty sure "being in the vicinity of people breaking the law" is not actually a crime or we'd arrest everyone in the bank when it gets robbed and let the courts sort out who were the robbers and who were the hostages later. And maybe not even bother with that, because D'Souza is apparently convinced you're guilty until, uh, PARDONED BY A CORRUPT PRESIDENT.
It was yet another stupid own-goal by him, and he was appropriately ridiculed.
Speaking of Queens, this guy, like his uncle Bob Turner (creator of the Jerry Springer Show and the Republican who won Anthony Weiner's seat in a special election) appears to be from Breezy Point. This gated beach community has to be the whitest, least urban, and most Republican place in all of NYC -- so purely white it was once euphemistically described by the NY Times as "fiercely insular", and so gated even Google street view cameras can't go there. (I don't know about his, but Uncle Bob's house burned down with 130 others during Hurricane Sandy. I bet Bob got some sweet gub'mint money to rebuild.) His "6th generation New Yorker" ersatz street cred is stolen from his Brooklyn ancestors, because this asshole's bullshit "city kid, through and through" NYC urban experience is tantamount to beach life in one of the Hamptons.
Hahah, this all reminds me of the moment in Swingers where the one kid is saying, "You don't know the LA streets, you're not from LA, you don't know how dangerous it is, man, but I do, I grew up here!" And in the background his friend mutters, "Anaheim."
Are you sure it's in Queens? Got too much of a buzz from dinner to figure out a map and as a Queens boy, need to know for certain whether I should be taking offense.
Yeah, it's in Queens, at the west end of the Rockaway peninsula which looks on the map like it should be part of Brooklyn, but for some reason ended up with a Queens zipcode. I lived in Rockaway for a long time farther east, which is how I know this. I'm a white guy, but I wasn't white enough for Breezy. Haven't been through the place for years, but I'm betting that hasn't changed one bit.
I'll give him a credit. At least he's putting his money where his mouth is and moving to a place where the neighborhood center is a Walmart. So many of these conservatives badmouth big cities while conveniently living and working in them.
It's curious that big bad CNN is headquartered in Georgia (Atlanta, but still, a red state) while Fox News is nestled right in Manhattan. Curious, that is, until you realize they're all carnival barkers selling cons to rubes. They make fun of lattes and yoga while sipping on milky coffee after finishing the downward dog.
Shorter Turner: I'm a tough city guy who can put up with the rigors of urban life, and let me tell you: Us urban tough guys don't give a shit about anyone's feelings. Which is why I am compelled to write about how my feelings are so badly hurt by BLM Plaza that I'm leaving the city. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Yes, like Donnie: Tough talk, and beneath that very thin patina of toughness, chickenshit.
"As a frequent protestor I keep telling dumb outlanders that nothing even resembling a riot has occurred in D.C. since early June, despite the propagandists using that word for every march and demonstration, secure in the knowledge that their target readers already think every city is a Death Wish theme park and every not-entirely-white gathering a riot."
Conservative shibboleths and canards never die. Partly because facts and truth almost never support the wing nuts, sometimes for the joy of simple nostalgia for days gone by. Like law'n'order bringing back the good old days of Tricky Dick Nixon. (Of course, Trump being a moronic sociopath, does it in a way that makes it quite likely to hurt his reelection chances.)
That said, fuck Turner, fuck his feelings and I personally am cancelling e.g. treat him as the irrelevancy he is. He's nobody and why would anyone -- anyone who matters -- care about him?
I came across this cartoon about Portland and thought it funny as hell - and spot on too!
https://azspot.net/image/624661782818160640
Here in Seattle, where it was supposed to hit 90+ degrees (95 in my suburb, though I don't know if it did because I slept through the day), we like to tell people who don't live here that it rains constantly. It limits the number of people who want to visit or move here.
“One square mile of Federal Plaza surrounded by nine square miles of Queens” is probably the best description of DC I’ve ever heard.
I have to wonder if there is any audience for Turner’s piece BESIDES Koch. He comes off as too elitist for the rubes: expensed-out dinners, cigars, and high teas? C’mon. And it’s not like he bought a farm and belatedly embraced the wholesome lifestyle of Real Americans, he just moved to the suburbs. But he definitely knows feces plus graffiti are the twin signifiers of Evil Urban Decay for the MAGAts.
And it practically goes without saying this guy needs to take a ticket and get at the end of the long line for the guillotine.
Wait until he T-bones a deer in his Escalade. Sorry, it’s Monday.
Also rabid raccoons.
The dog gets a case of poison oak and spreads it to the kids and (even worse) the kids' nanny, who he's been boinking.
If we had an edit function, I would change that to make it clear that Turner, not the dog, was boinking the nanny.
I... kinda think it's better this way.
30-50 feral hogs will do nicely
He probably lives in Burke. Or if that’s too ghetto for him, what’s left of Woodbridge.
Like I said on LGM, I bet this jerk already did live someplace like Loudoun County and this "Farewell To All That" screed is just what you called it, bullshit.
Ah, maybe that explains why he's leaving DC - it's in part because of the "miserable commute" from DC to, um DC. He seems to be kind of a idiot, or alternatively, an jerk.
Those aren't mutually exclusive categories, Magielle
Maybe he took the NYT article on Making Your Second Home Your Primary Residence to heart. Seriously, he thinks he's a "real" city person? Dude, I'd say shut the fuck up at the best of times when you're treating homeless people as inconvenient litter, but it's a fucking pandemic and recession, there are gonna be a *lot* more homeless people right quick, for reasons that I'm betting he advocates. People, real people, regardless of where they live, are SUFFERING. Sit down and save your bitching about how unpleasant that makes things for you until it's over, and you can continue to hate on people who are the ordinary victims of your privileged lifestyle.
Roy, I know you do this a lot, but consider either making this one public or just fucking send it to him, because he needs some cancel culture right quick.
I have a feeling Turner is another of those soulless factota who turns out to only be like 35...
He sounds like my brother waxing eloquent over the yuppization of High St., while I morn the loss of the dive bars and weird people who used to congregate there. But it is "clean" I guess.
“19th-Century Knickerbocker knobs“ is the name of my new barbershop quartet.
“an historic church”
I hate that pretentious Britishism so much. Unless you’re speaking wi’ a cockney accent and also say “an housing development” and “an Houston policeman,” it’s an ungrammatical affectation. But then that’s the least of this douchebag’s sins.
It's even more preposterous coming from a "city kid" Kingpin impersonator like Turner.
but not from Daniel "High Tea" Turner
Is it really a Britishism? According to Fowler, if the "h" is aspirated, use "a".
In my old edition of Fowler, he describes Polish as being "transliterated" into English. It's not - it's "translated." Polish uses the Latin alphabet, with some small differences from the English/American version, just like any other Euopean language that has some diacritical marks and accents that English doesn't. Hence, I don't consider Fowler an authority.
Fowler also predicted that "an historic" would eventually disappear as more people pronounce the "h". My edition is from 1965.
People who use “an” with forms of the word “history” usually do so because they think it sounds British, high-class, and learnèd.
“An” is ok with a silent “h” (“an honest man”) but incorrectly generalized to all h-words. Still, “Turner is a/an horrible asshole” are both true.
Right: that’s the rule. Use “an” before a word that begins with a vowel *sound*, regardless of whether it starts with an H.
An hour. An heir. But not “an harp” or “an harlot.”
Poor the timing. Everyone who stays in DC is going to have the Electoral power of a Wyoming rancher when we make it a state.
Roy, have your team of unpaid interns find photo evidence
of this goon at afternoon tea.
Haha - Portland is burning to the ground I've heard, except when I made the hour drive into Portland for a follow up with my oncologist last week everything seemed completely normal. It was a sunny, nice day there in NW Portland and people were out and about acting like nothing was up. Because nothing was up. All the action in Portland is in a few city blocks downtown, everything else fine. My middle son lives right there in SE Portland and hasn't noticed anything. He does avoid the downtown area.
It's all just stupid theater ginned up by the fascist pigs invading downtown Portland. People will believe what they want to but that's the point, there are things they want to believe and facts and reality just get in the way.
I hope things went well with the oncologist!
Yes, my tests went well and if I can go another year cancer free then they'll pronounce me cured. :)
Thank you for asking!
I have several friends who are cancer survivors and I freaking LOVE hearing about stuff like this! Good on ya.
Tough to run on a law'n'order platform when one's the documented unlawful one.
Ah. Dinesh D'Souza went after the dude who got arrested for trying to talk to the cops. He suggested that being a vet--as the dude is--is not a good excuse to burn things, which he apparently thinks they all did by, I dunno, committee? Round-robin? Who knows. He got all upset about the lawbreaking done by this dude, who, again, was arrested for talking to the cops. I'm pretty sure "being in the vicinity of people breaking the law" is not actually a crime or we'd arrest everyone in the bank when it gets robbed and let the courts sort out who were the robbers and who were the hostages later. And maybe not even bother with that, because D'Souza is apparently convinced you're guilty until, uh, PARDONED BY A CORRUPT PRESIDENT.
It was yet another stupid own-goal by him, and he was appropriately ridiculed.
Speaking of Queens, this guy, like his uncle Bob Turner (creator of the Jerry Springer Show and the Republican who won Anthony Weiner's seat in a special election) appears to be from Breezy Point. This gated beach community has to be the whitest, least urban, and most Republican place in all of NYC -- so purely white it was once euphemistically described by the NY Times as "fiercely insular", and so gated even Google street view cameras can't go there. (I don't know about his, but Uncle Bob's house burned down with 130 others during Hurricane Sandy. I bet Bob got some sweet gub'mint money to rebuild.) His "6th generation New Yorker" ersatz street cred is stolen from his Brooklyn ancestors, because this asshole's bullshit "city kid, through and through" NYC urban experience is tantamount to beach life in one of the Hamptons.
Hahah, this all reminds me of the moment in Swingers where the one kid is saying, "You don't know the LA streets, you're not from LA, you don't know how dangerous it is, man, but I do, I grew up here!" And in the background his friend mutters, "Anaheim."
Are you sure it's in Queens? Got too much of a buzz from dinner to figure out a map and as a Queens boy, need to know for certain whether I should be taking offense.
Yeah, it's in Queens, at the west end of the Rockaway peninsula which looks on the map like it should be part of Brooklyn, but for some reason ended up with a Queens zipcode. I lived in Rockaway for a long time farther east, which is how I know this. I'm a white guy, but I wasn't white enough for Breezy. Haven't been through the place for years, but I'm betting that hasn't changed one bit.
They wouldn't let him put "Hey, fuckface, get off my farm" in this ode to suburbia, or wherever. The McCloskeys types will make great neighbors.
I'll give him a credit. At least he's putting his money where his mouth is and moving to a place where the neighborhood center is a Walmart. So many of these conservatives badmouth big cities while conveniently living and working in them.
It's curious that big bad CNN is headquartered in Georgia (Atlanta, but still, a red state) while Fox News is nestled right in Manhattan. Curious, that is, until you realize they're all carnival barkers selling cons to rubes. They make fun of lattes and yoga while sipping on milky coffee after finishing the downward dog.