102 Comments
Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I'm convinced that Greenwald's tombstone will be engraved like this:

Glenn Greenwald

"Whom I Do Not Support"

Date - Date

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I assumed it would read, "Actually, I am not dead." What else is a professional contrarian to do?

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Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Glem "Russian Active Measure #247" Greenwald openly embracing fascism, in hopes that he will be shot last.

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I feel more that he's more rooting for whom he thinks'll be shot first. I don't think he thinks much beyond that—and I don't know that he even understands to what extent he's endangering his own safety.

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" I don't know that he even understands to what extent he's endangering his own safety."

This, so much this. And it generalizes: People who see Covid as something that could kill them aren't free to treat it as an amusing topic with which to pass the time on internet comment-boards. People who have internalized the real threat of climate change don't have the luxury of pretending they're on the High School Debate team and they got tagged with "Climate Change - Anti."

It's a distinction we should pay more attention to: Do you see the thing in question as a real problem that threatens YOU or just as one of many topics on your list of Things to Argue About? And if it's the latter, then fuck off, troll.

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Jul 27, 2022·edited Jul 27, 2022

First in warning about A.I.D.S., now with regard to monkeypox, authorities tend to use 'men who have sex with men' because of the number of men who had 'reasons I‘m not gay'. More generally, I'll bet nearly everyone has 'reasons' It won't happen to Them, for various values of It. (Viz esp.: dying and not existing at all, ever. again )

So I guess I'm accusing Greenwald of being a human being…I will note that the reason I'm transhumanist is that I'm acquainted with human beings, one from the inside, noticing all the stupid stuff he does and thinks every goddamn day….

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Yes, there's a general human propensity to not believe bad stuff will happen to you, but there are people who take it farther - whatever the bad thing is, they delight in saying "LOL, not gonna happen" because they're looking for a reaction, or because appearing not to care makes them feel cool and macho.

And then you've got conservatives, whose natural response to any newly-identified problem is "Well, that wasn't a problem before, so it can't be a problem now." Or "Never admit this is a problem, people might want to use the government to respond to it."

Either way, their main purpose is to waste your time, because they are allergic to actually DOING anything about anything, or they're just nihilists who want to watch the world burn.

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Jul 27, 2022·edited Jul 28, 2022

Very apt.

There's also the conservative mainstay: people with problems deserve them, and it's against {The Natural Order}/{The Moral Order}/G-d's Will}/{The Wisdom of the Market}/{Yargle-bargle-brayyyyy!} to try to change it.

King Lear observed, in response to similar, that if we all got what we deserved none would escape a[n undesired] whipping, so one ought to be sparing with such talk.

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You've been burning up the comments section lately, and I applaud your wit and insight.

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Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Sorry, I wanted to talk about Roy’s actual sketch, but when I read the words “soulful Alex Jones” in the introductory quote I passed out from a massive overload of cognitive dissonance and I’m now traveling by ambulance to the Emergency Room of my local hospital. Hopefully my condition is reversible.

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Hopefully you got some kind of insurance for that! That shit ain't cheap! If I was you I'd try a slug of Ivermectin first. You can use that shit on everything.

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Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Well, it is "horse" shoe theory, so maybe......

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Jul 27, 2022·edited Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Apparently Glenn can't recognize Alex's fake blubbering for what it is.

I mean, FFS, Alex's very first reaction to Sandy Hook the day it happened was fretting about how it'd be used by gun control advocates.

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Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"What is it that you think caused you to do that?" ["come clean" about his Sandy Hook lies]

Um... I'm guessing it was the lawsuit, maybe? Yeah, definitely the lawsuit.

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We all do remember when Alex was pushing his sweater book and swearing to turn over a new leaf and become a kinder, gentler person in the discourse, right?

It was the lawsuits then too.

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Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

If need be, we'll just drop in to see what condition your condition is in...

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Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Thanks, and a good reminder I'm due for a re-watch of The Big Lebowski.

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Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I couldn’t follow Glenn’s argument about “people who lie for a living” who “criticize you in good faith.” I guess trying to square the circle of Jones’ defamation of Sandy Hook victims into some kind of Jones martyrdom has broken what logical thinking Glenn ever possessed.

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Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I read it as "I get so much criticism from people who lie for a living that I can't recognize good-faith criticism when it comes along", but yeah, that could have been clearer.

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Jul 27, 2022·edited Jul 27, 2022

Personally, I think you should look at the thing you're saying, and ask whether it's true or not, and if it's NOT true, you should stop saying it. But I don't think Greenwald could ever do that, he can't know if a thing is true until he knows whether Hillary Clinton is for or against it.

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Jul 27, 2022·edited Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"-blocked me like a dog.""

You know who could block a cock- Jeff.

He could shut everybody down. At least until he got the " pick of the litter." If you know what I mean.Those where the days. It was my Vietnam, you know"

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Wow, it seems like just yesterday when many of our sage commenters on alicu were still convinced GG was a leftist...

Whatever this publicity stunt the lead quote was a part of is closer to the truth: Jones & GG can come together over their income streams derived from Russian psy-ops & forge an agreement. What a country!

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Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"Yesterday" being 2004, sure.

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Nothing I like more than a bottle of Greenwald 2004. This years vintage though, the grapes just rotted on the vine.

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Beaujolais nouveau from a winery that never passed inspection from the very beginning.

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Some of us were onto him earlier than others -- but we all see what we want to see

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Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Who knew horseshoes could be so lucrative?

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Ferriers?

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Pharmaceutical companies. We still harvest the poor crabs for their blood.

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Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Wow, I had trouble with this one. First problem for this dotard was that quote, here in the real world, made no sense. I mean, Jones may have apologized a little well after the harm's been done yet he continues to spew toxic bullshit.

So I started all confused in that old fart way.

And then I get presented with a slow burn.

That ultimately pays off because I was in the hands of a master.

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

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I could hear Trump's dialog in his voice, and now I feel icky and queasy.

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Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Eww, yeah. Might have to rinse the eyeballs with Lysol.

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Lysol wants you to know their products do not kill monkeypox or the virus that causes it, please do not ingest it or spray it on your sores.

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Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Icky and Queasy...weren't they characters in that old sitcom...you know the one...tip of my tongue...ah forget it (it's obvious I did long ago).

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Icky and Queasy: The WORST dwarves

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"We'd like to thank all the even littler people who made this win possible!"

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I'm Icky, He's Queasy. 8pm Fri on ABC.

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Where's Walter Matthau and Jack Lemon when we need them?!

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Marty Ingles and John Astin! I'm Dickens, He's Fenster.

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Yeah, it scares me how Trump is in my head and is NEVER leaving, no matter how many times my personal Electoral Count Act shows he should be gone.

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It definitely took me until more or less now to be able to read it. Which means I'm in your substack, necroing your comment threads, Roy.

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Belatedly hearted 'cause I think I got too far down the thread before rereading the early responses. Sometimes one simply needs to return to the foundational text.

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"Satirical Essay as Happy Ending Massage"

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¿Que?

Please to clarify. You young are so cryptic and hard to understand sometimes.

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¿Que?

Please clarify. You young people are sometimes too cryptic and hard to understand for we olds.

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💦💦

😉

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U kids 😵‍💫

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Listening to Knowledge Fight's coverage of both Sandy Hook and Uvalde, it's obvious to me Alex has learned from his mistakes, and is capable of repeating them at will.

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Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I'm sure his lawyers have advised him on how to stay safely within the land of Just Asking Questions.

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Yeah. Sadly, he never stops long enough for the world to provide its boilerplate answer "No, you pathetic pile of pus!"

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Tucker Carlson = Alex Jones + lawyers.

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Don't forget the Cavuto mark!

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How could I forget that? (Surreptitiously looks up 'Cavuto mark', then declares "Oh yeah, that!" and immediately ponders "where have I been?" then realizes everyone else stopped asking that about me some number of decades since...)

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The Land of Just Asking Questions >>> Wherein We Don't Know JAQ!

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My brain has melted and this took me a couple seconds. Well done.

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I have a second who takes those brain melts for me...been rough on him for awhile – might need a new one. Sounds like you're burning thru them...you got any spares?

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Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"TRUMP does his weird dance. Crowd goes nuts — not Trump-rally nuts, more like Mar-a-Lago wedding party nuts"

3 marks!

But here's the problem: Greenwald has become parody-proof. The setup passage illustrates that. My greatest fear* is that Greenwald will somehow convince Bolsonaro that samba and bossa nova and tropicalia are communist props and Bolsonaro will round up all the musicians in some favela and burn it down.

*Greatest among equals...they's a big bunch...

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Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"But here's the problem: Greenwald has become parody-proof. "

After reading the opening paragraph, I felt like parody is the only response left to us. What's the point of fact-checking, or any other, point-by-point reasoned response, with people who are completely full of shit and incapable of shame?

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Then we need heavily-weaponized parodists. Roy, roll out the HIMARS!

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Jul 27, 2022·edited Jul 27, 2022

Highly Mordant Anti-Rightwing Satire

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I just increasingly need it to be clearly marked in advance. Especially when someone's this good at it. Every time Roy does this, it's a fun little game of "Which of these things did they actually say."

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They're "raiding" the favelas even as we speak: https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2022/7/21/at-least-18-dead-in-brazil-police-raid-on-rio-favelas. It's the 2022 version of "we've got to pick up some crappy country and throw it against the wall to show we mean business" and he's all in.

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Sorry, Greenwald can't take a position on that until he finds out what Hillary Clinton thinks.

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That's just SOP. As long as the musicians got tipped off first it's all good.

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Indeed, if I were at an event and TFG appeared, I would go "nuts!"

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Mine would be a General McAuliffe at Bastogne "Nuts!"

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I was at Swamp (Highly Inciteful) Thang's Triumphant Erratic Return Shindig yesterday (well, rode my bike around the security perimeter) and saw nary a nut, but pondered the pretzels, logically...

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Did anyone bring a gun? Oh, wait, I'm sorry, I did that wrong: "In America, gun brings YOU."

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Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

The abominable Jones not only desecrated the deaths of children with his evil sewage, he got a bunch of his addled minions to hound their parents, in one case literally to death. He will say and do anything for money, and Greenwald's shameful sucking up is out of respect: another instance of game recognizing game. I'd love to see Greenwald in a strokefest interview with the soulful Jones about some of his other LBGTQ hits:

- "The Pentagon has weaponized perfumes that will make men attracted to other men and they want you to do that so you don't have kids."

- "The reason there's so many gay people now is because it's a chemical warfare operation, and I have the government documents where they said they're going to encourage homosexuality with chemicals so that people don't have children,"

- "I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the friggin' frogs gay." "The majority of frogs in most areas of the United States are now gay."

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[GREENWALD studies his clipboard.]

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Yeah, but I already gave Roy 3 marks...let's not inflate the lad's head too much.

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Personally, I only trust amphibians that are gender-fluid.

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Water, land, water, land, PICK ONE DAMMIT

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This gave me kind of a humorous callback to being told bisexuals should pick one, and I appreciate the new context.

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People who say that think bisexuals have an unfair advantage.

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Personally, I only trust amphibians.

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Frogs are. It's like he never saw Jurassic Park.

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Also, please consider lesbian lizard colonies that engage in parthenogenesis.

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Duly noted.

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Jul 27, 2022·edited Jul 27, 2022

- "The Pentagon has weaponized perfumes that will make men attracted to other men and they want you to do that so you don't have kids."

I have no problem with this program – even the fact it's under the jurisdiction of the Pentagon. I mean, think of all the horribler things they could do with their budget.

And, "weaponized perfumes"...oh yeah...

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There was a time, long ago, when Jones was seemingly just another eccentric dude in Austin TX -- had a bit in Richard Linklater's Slacker (1990).

If ony he could have stayed at the Roky Erikson level of weird & cool...

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He wasn’t the Kennedy conspiracy guy was he?

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Jul 27, 2022·edited Jul 27, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"they stopped me from cleaning up that January 6 thing, because they were mobbed up with the gays and the woke idiots"

Right, he had ordered 10,000 National Guard troops to the Capitol before the insurrection even started, but Nancy Pelosi blocked him. And then, for some reason he completely forgot about this for a year and a half. Maybe he's just modest.

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Updating my own comment elsewhere in this here comments section over my confusion re the quote at the time of the post, there's this:

https://news.yahoo.com/alex-jones-sandy-hook-defamation-trial-newtown-shooting-infowars-hoax-190510685.html

I'd say it takes a perverse intellect to say what Greenwald did, more so in the context of how he markets himself as the last honest man in the media, but, well, yet more confused.

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Dishonest confusion is his mode...

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We call that "disingenuous". It's apparently a cottage industry now.

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"What would bring maximum irritation to the people I hate?" is a relatively simple algorithm. I wouldn't be surprised if Greenwald has automated the process, Glenn goes to the beach while GlemBot does the Twitter for him.

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So that " let us reason together" line from the OT is : If thou fuckest around, thou will find out.

Which is reasoning I suppose.

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Is Glenn wearing a Log Cabin Republican button yet?

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Reconstructed of Genuine Lincoln Logs®!

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Leave my Lincoln Logs out of this.

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"Sorry. We need to see all the logs for the Lincoln Bedroom from September 14 1972 thru January 7 2021. Here's the judge's order" (waves some papers vaguely and stuffs them back in the inside pocket of his rumpled jacket).

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Is that introductory quote for real? C'mon, you gotta be kidding... Holy fkg crap!

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Yeah, there's no difference, Andrew. Literally saw some twitter rando explain to another twitter rando that Tom Hanks was so wholesome that he absolutely has to be a terrifying pedo even by Hollywood groomer standards.

He's not even fucking gay.

You cannot respectability politics your way out of these people hating you for existing.

I'm not sure Andrew will ever learn that.

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I don't know why my brain said Andrew instead of Glenn.

No, wait, I know why. I know *exactly* why.

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Jul 28, 2022·edited Jul 28, 2022

(sotto voce, head shaking, looking away): "Yikes"

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