Jesus, that Tim Scott. "My life exposes your lie" is one of his lines (he has a liking for alliteration, although not exactly a gift for it.) Because, you see, Successful Black Man disproves the existence of racism. A line so tired it has chronic fatigue syndrome (Paging Doctor Ben Carson.)
But hey, you don't like that one, he's got others, like "You can choose to be a victim or a victor" (see what I said about the alliteration?) Lessee, let's apply that to a recent example, E. Jean Carroll, victim of sexual abuse at the hands (yuck) of Donald Trump, later a victor in court, to the tune of $5 million. But wait, it's victim OR victor! You can't be BOTH! My snappy alliterative phrase says so!
Reminder that E. Jean Carroll is suing him again, due to remarks he made after the last settlement. Proving once again Trump's criminal inability to shut up.
Scott was careful to cite his deep faith and the faith of his family as the source of his success. I guess that's why more black folks aren't successful, black people just aren't churchy enough.
(Anybody know the last time Elon Musk visited a church? Funny how God lavishes billions on white guys with no discernible religion - unless it's some weird Scientologist shit - meanwhile black grandmothers who have never missed a Sunday service can't pay for their insulin.)
That's scary good: and a real killshot is your limning of the essential hollowness of Scott and Haley's positioning.
The theory I see that resonates is: Scott is running to be tRumps VP: Haley is running to be someone else's: she seems to have no trouble with the Culture War hate.
Ramaswamy, as far as I can tell, is going toward building his brand: corporate fascism. I can't see his proposal to raise the voting age to 25 (after passing a Citizen's Literacy test) is going to help him in the long to medium term.
I wonder, though, do any of these people actually have anything resembling a plan or strategy beyond just wanting to run? Every one of them is surrounded by sycophants telling them they could be President (sycophants hoping for a big payoff in the form of campaign consulting/management fees) and rich friends willing to throw a few million in their direction. Beyond that, do they really need a reason? Just one boot-licker saying "Once people get to know you, there's NO WAY you can lose!" could be enough.
Sometimes I try to picture their perfect world, after they’ve gotten their way on everything. But I think their world can’t ever be perfect without enemies and evil and struggle, forever. Kinda like Putin’s perfect world, maybe.
It could just be my brain trying to protect itself against a vision that would break it.
Well, money is always a reason. The currently fashionable trumpy grift is having a campaign that becomes an endless fundraiser, for various macguffins, er, "causes" (e.g. Build A Wall), that is always raising money, and, not incidentally, enriching the candidates.
It's a crapshoot to win office: but seems like a sure bet to keep the dollars flowing.
Ramaswamy wants to be Mussolini when he grows up. (Periodic reminder that Italy's Chamber of Deputies was changed by Mussolini into the "Chamber for Fasces and Corporations".)
The only people I know who still vote Republican are my lovely, live and let live, good Christian neighbors. I’m thinking of printing this out and anonymously leaving it in their mailbox. (Who am I kidding, they’d probably know it was me.)
As demonisation substitutes your fears for knowledge of the opponent, it is tactically and strategically dangerous—morally dangerous too, as you're allowed to do _anything_ against demons.
Pence is fascinating to me. He soldiers on despite overwhelming evidence nobody is asking. There are hints, and there are hints. When they try to hang you from a gallows in front of the Capitol...
I love how Pence said "In my four years in the White House, I never witnessed this sort of behavior from President Trump" like that's an actual defense. Seriously, Mike? You never ONCE saw the President of the United States rape a woman in the Oval Office? You should have said that at the trial, would have had a big effect on the jury.
Coming soon to a courtroom near you: A friend of Daniel Penny testifies to all the times he rode the subway with Penny and Penny didn't strangle anyone. Case dismissed!
I see it playing out a little differently. "Just be glad my client rode the subway. If he were to drive to work, the freeways would be strew-I say STREWN with the carcasses of traffic miscreants!"
Too bad Meatball Ron didn't announce he was running before today's REBID deadline. His imminent evisceration by Trump will be the only feature in the upcoming campaign that I'll be able to enjoy. Bootlickers, the whole lot of 'em.
Ron isn't capable of looking up to Trump like a baby bird (and that made me LOL), but he'd try, wouldn't he? And his jaw would unhinge like when he simulates laughter.
I've seen photos of DeSantis he appears to be laughing, uproariously, at something, and come the fuck on, nobody laughs like that. Time to go back to "Simulating human emotions" class and try again.
Yep, the craaazy Radical Left Anarchosocialist Joe Biden, who, um, suggested legislation for reasonable infrastructure spending, and broke an imminent rail workers strike. I'm guessing Uncle President isn't reading Marxist theory while on the toilet.
The only good I can see to come of this: the two politicians here will pander to Trump's people so much they'll hate them even more than they do now, with policy implications should they ever actually get somewhere.
"...sort of a President Trump for people who are not voting for President Trump but want what President Trump has to offer" is absolutely brilliant, and I wouldn't be surprised if we see it come out of the mouth of an actual Republican candidate before this is all over.
"UPRIGHT, SCOTT, and HALEY: Chortle chortle chortle!"
I particularly liked this.
I have to say, I keep imagining Haley as President and everyone in DC required to answer their phones with "It's A Great Day In America!"
(no, I am not letting go of that. I still remember calling some office and hearing them say "It's a great day in South Carolina!" and somehow keeping from laughing.)
All I can figure is that they're both Republicans, but not white and male, and the press loves novelty. Or, as one black Republican said, "The line's shorter over here."
Last year Tim Scott made a TV ad for Ron Johnson: Y'see, in the last twelve years, things have been getting worse and worse. So we need new leadership! Therefore vote for RJ, who's already been in office for twelve years, and had pledged to leave office after those two terms, but changed his mind because things were getting worse!
Sometimes I still find myself pondering the logic of that.
Likewise the unpopularity of Republican ideas just shows how far we have strayed from the One True Path, thus the need for a firm hand to bring us back into line. The more unpopular their ideas, the more energetic they are in enforcing them through any means available.
My guess is it's aimed squarely at the undecideds, who couldn't name their Senator if you held a gun to their head. "Hey, I kinda like the sound of this Johnson guy, time to get some fresh ideas there in Warshington!"
First I cracked up at "many a tear has to fall," etc., but then I continuted to crack up.
We're getting to the point, not just that Trump could shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue and not lose any votes, but where he'd GET MORE votes. The worse he is--the more "honest" in expressing his pathologies--the more they love him.
Honestly, I blame the 'Sixties: sure, from the Romantics onward sincerity as a good-in-itself has been over-valued, but the 1960s seem to me a watershed in believing that sincerity were proof that you were good and passion a valid argument.
Yes, as an extension of the 50s and not being a "phony" and being "authentic." But let's not forget, from the other direction, the effects of brute ignorance. Women who are still pro-Trump, even after the Jean Carroll verdict, Access Hollywood, etc., say, "Yes, he's a brute and has no respect for women, but I trust him to run the country."
And, thirdly, cynicism, the 'Theyʼre all crooks.' that won't differentiate between mild, operational, thievery and utter corruption. (Some cops accept a free doughknot and a cup of coffe, others do hits for the Mafia…they're _all_ bent..)
Right. And, fourth, as a friend literally just reminded me, the hard-core "believers" in Trump are exactly that: believers. It's (as I myself am tired of saying) a cult, which is to say, religious, which is to say, those people can't NOT defend him. It's a matter of psychic survival, or at least the survival of their psyches as currently constituted.
The first time I saw Republican voters describe Trump as honest, I was suitably gobsmacked, but it's what you're getting at: He's "honest" because he doesn't pretend to be a nice person. Assholes always assume everyone else is an asshole too, but everyone else is putting on an act and pretending not to be, thus the asshole is the only honest one.
As I see it, all these mooks are running in hopes that Trump will depart the scene, either through the legal process or Death by Hamberder. But only DeSantis, as governor of the state wherein Trump dwells, has any power to take him out. Not that the attack on Disney provides any evidence DeSantis and his pet legislature could pull it off, but I wouldn't plotz if he tried.
Meanwhile, Dark Horses reminds me to say that Slow Horses is the best thing on TV right now and Gary Oldman is a genius.
Even funnier than Scott's announcement and, unlike same, not at all scary.
Jesus, that Tim Scott. "My life exposes your lie" is one of his lines (he has a liking for alliteration, although not exactly a gift for it.) Because, you see, Successful Black Man disproves the existence of racism. A line so tired it has chronic fatigue syndrome (Paging Doctor Ben Carson.)
But hey, you don't like that one, he's got others, like "You can choose to be a victim or a victor" (see what I said about the alliteration?) Lessee, let's apply that to a recent example, E. Jean Carroll, victim of sexual abuse at the hands (yuck) of Donald Trump, later a victor in court, to the tune of $5 million. But wait, it's victim OR victor! You can't be BOTH! My snappy alliterative phrase says so!
Reminder that E. Jean Carroll is suing him again, due to remarks he made after the last settlement. Proving once again Trump's criminal inability to shut up.
Civil, not criminal, more's the pity.
Tortious, even!
Scott was careful to cite his deep faith and the faith of his family as the source of his success. I guess that's why more black folks aren't successful, black people just aren't churchy enough.
(Anybody know the last time Elon Musk visited a church? Funny how God lavishes billions on white guys with no discernible religion - unless it's some weird Scientologist shit - meanwhile black grandmothers who have never missed a Sunday service can't pay for their insulin.)
Where did Musk get married last? At least one of those was likely in a church
My wife expose your wifi.
or as long
A Spike Lee and a "The Oscar" reference-
Holy cow! ( in deference to the Indian Guy)
I picture everyone in this sketch as characters drawn by Mort Drucker for some reason*
Funny stuff Roy. Thanks!
* I'll be honest - could be weed.
"The winner is Frank... Sinatra!" Busts me up every time.
Harlan Ellison worked on the screenplay.
And regretted it ever after.
OK, now you're really making me want to watch this.
It's worth the time !
Truly so bad it's good.
I don't value my time very highly, so I'm sure you're right.
When I smoke weed, everyone looks like they were drawn by Mort Drucker, so that tracks!
That's scary good: and a real killshot is your limning of the essential hollowness of Scott and Haley's positioning.
The theory I see that resonates is: Scott is running to be tRumps VP: Haley is running to be someone else's: she seems to have no trouble with the Culture War hate.
Ramaswamy, as far as I can tell, is going toward building his brand: corporate fascism. I can't see his proposal to raise the voting age to 25 (after passing a Citizen's Literacy test) is going to help him in the long to medium term.
I'm sure the yoot vote will love it, though...
I wonder, though, do any of these people actually have anything resembling a plan or strategy beyond just wanting to run? Every one of them is surrounded by sycophants telling them they could be President (sycophants hoping for a big payoff in the form of campaign consulting/management fees) and rich friends willing to throw a few million in their direction. Beyond that, do they really need a reason? Just one boot-licker saying "Once people get to know you, there's NO WAY you can lose!" could be enough.
To win it, you got to be in it. ™
Sometimes I try to picture their perfect world, after they’ve gotten their way on everything. But I think their world can’t ever be perfect without enemies and evil and struggle, forever. Kinda like Putin’s perfect world, maybe.
It could just be my brain trying to protect itself against a vision that would break it.
Now lick the other one!
Well, money is always a reason. The currently fashionable trumpy grift is having a campaign that becomes an endless fundraiser, for various macguffins, er, "causes" (e.g. Build A Wall), that is always raising money, and, not incidentally, enriching the candidates.
It's a crapshoot to win office: but seems like a sure bet to keep the dollars flowing.
It's not like the FEC is going to do anything.
Ramaswamy wants to be Mussolini when he grows up. (Periodic reminder that Italy's Chamber of Deputies was changed by Mussolini into the "Chamber for Fasces and Corporations".)
Big Muss was often repetitive like that...
The only people I know who still vote Republican are my lovely, live and let live, good Christian neighbors. I’m thinking of printing this out and anonymously leaving it in their mailbox. (Who am I kidding, they’d probably know it was me.)
Well, that's the problem, innit? If only monsters voted Republican, they'd never win, not enough monsters.
As demonisation substitutes your fears for knowledge of the opponent, it is tactically and strategically dangerous—morally dangerous too, as you're allowed to do _anything_ against demons.
Pence, crumpled up like Stephen Boyd at the end of "Ben-Hur"
Pence is fascinating to me. He soldiers on despite overwhelming evidence nobody is asking. There are hints, and there are hints. When they try to hang you from a gallows in front of the Capitol...
He is literally Principal Skinner, without any of the endearing qualities, like actually being born Armin Tamzarian or owning a copy of Swank.
I love how Pence said "In my four years in the White House, I never witnessed this sort of behavior from President Trump" like that's an actual defense. Seriously, Mike? You never ONCE saw the President of the United States rape a woman in the Oval Office? You should have said that at the trial, would have had a big effect on the jury.
To be fair, in Trump's case, that shows remarkable restraint.
There's this Amy Schumer sketch about a coach trying to keep his team from raping….
https://media.tenor.com/F1Jm2vwMUVcAAAAC/wine-glass-amy-schumer.gif
Yep. Heroic.
Coming soon to a courtroom near you: A friend of Daniel Penny testifies to all the times he rode the subway with Penny and Penny didn't strangle anyone. Case dismissed!
You crack wise as if there won't be actual testimony exactly like this.
I see it playing out a little differently. "Just be glad my client rode the subway. If he were to drive to work, the freeways would be strew-I say STREWN with the carcasses of traffic miscreants!"
Anybody besides me feel truly saddened by the fact this is literally true?
Pence, his body broken
Pence, his neck stretched
Too bad Meatball Ron didn't announce he was running before today's REBID deadline. His imminent evisceration by Trump will be the only feature in the upcoming campaign that I'll be able to enjoy. Bootlickers, the whole lot of 'em.
Ron isn't capable of looking up to Trump like a baby bird (and that made me LOL), but he'd try, wouldn't he? And his jaw would unhinge like when he simulates laughter.
I've seen photos of DeSantis he appears to be laughing, uproariously, at something, and come the fuck on, nobody laughs like that. Time to go back to "Simulating human emotions" class and try again.
Ron's problem is that "human adjacent" is the best he can do.
Total skin job.
Has David Icke weighed in yet on whether or not DeSantis is a Reptilian?
The Malevolent Duck is waiting to be nominated by acclimation at the convention next year.
The sidestep of mentioning Trump and repeated talking points are nice touches.
Failed radical politics and all that jazz.
These Coloreds, you see these Coloreds? They are running, unlike the true colors of the flag Trump occasionally wraps himself with.
Hey, if I was Colored, I'd run too.
Yep, the craaazy Radical Left Anarchosocialist Joe Biden, who, um, suggested legislation for reasonable infrastructure spending, and broke an imminent rail workers strike. I'm guessing Uncle President isn't reading Marxist theory while on the toilet.
I guess there's a reason they keep repeating "failed policies" without ever mentioning the policies.
Or any policies.
That's your education talking. Ever try listening with your ignorance? That's why God give us two ears and only one brain.
The only good I can see to come of this: the two politicians here will pander to Trump's people so much they'll hate them even more than they do now, with policy implications should they ever actually get somewhere.
"...sort of a President Trump for people who are not voting for President Trump but want what President Trump has to offer" is absolutely brilliant, and I wouldn't be surprised if we see it come out of the mouth of an actual Republican candidate before this is all over.
"UPRIGHT, SCOTT, and HALEY: Chortle chortle chortle!"
I particularly liked this.
I have to say, I keep imagining Haley as President and everyone in DC required to answer their phones with "It's A Great Day In America!"
(no, I am not letting go of that. I still remember calling some office and hearing them say "It's a great day in South Carolina!" and somehow keeping from laughing.)
Wait, she really did this? Update: Holy shit https://www.governing.com/archive/south-carolina-says-its-a-great-day.html
She did indeed, along about 2010 or so.
Almost the title of an actual Twilight Zone episode. Better say "It's a great day!" or Nikki will wish you into the cornfield.
(Two politicians, with national reputations somehow, from a state with a smaller population than Atlanta's metro area. I have not gotten over this.)
All I can figure is that they're both Republicans, but not white and male, and the press loves novelty. Or, as one black Republican said, "The line's shorter over here."
Last year Tim Scott made a TV ad for Ron Johnson: Y'see, in the last twelve years, things have been getting worse and worse. So we need new leadership! Therefore vote for RJ, who's already been in office for twelve years, and had pledged to leave office after those two terms, but changed his mind because things were getting worse!
Sometimes I still find myself pondering the logic of that.
Republicans want things to get worse. It invigorates their hate
It also 'proves' that 'we'ʼve gone 'wrong'.
(Inverted commas because they're largely both deluded and deranged.)
Likewise the unpopularity of Republican ideas just shows how far we have strayed from the One True Path, thus the need for a firm hand to bring us back into line. The more unpopular their ideas, the more energetic they are in enforcing them through any means available.
My guess is it's aimed squarely at the undecideds, who couldn't name their Senator if you held a gun to their head. "Hey, I kinda like the sound of this Johnson guy, time to get some fresh ideas there in Warshington!"
'Senator Johnson is right!'
Well, Wisconsin probably should have a permanent seat for a Senator Johnson, any Senator Johnson, then we can just swap Johnsons every six years.
https://www.flophousepodcast.com/2020/12/fh-mini-20-novel-tees/
Oh, well. At least Bolt tried.
"We'll have to leave it there" (As Jon Stewart once said: "CNN: Nobody leaves more things there")
First I cracked up at "many a tear has to fall," etc., but then I continuted to crack up.
We're getting to the point, not just that Trump could shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue and not lose any votes, but where he'd GET MORE votes. The worse he is--the more "honest" in expressing his pathologies--the more they love him.
Honestly, I blame the 'Sixties: sure, from the Romantics onward sincerity as a good-in-itself has been over-valued, but the 1960s seem to me a watershed in believing that sincerity were proof that you were good and passion a valid argument.
Yes, as an extension of the 50s and not being a "phony" and being "authentic." But let's not forget, from the other direction, the effects of brute ignorance. Women who are still pro-Trump, even after the Jean Carroll verdict, Access Hollywood, etc., say, "Yes, he's a brute and has no respect for women, but I trust him to run the country."
And, thirdly, cynicism, the 'Theyʼre all crooks.' that won't differentiate between mild, operational, thievery and utter corruption. (Some cops accept a free doughknot and a cup of coffe, others do hits for the Mafia…they're _all_ bent..)
Right. And, fourth, as a friend literally just reminded me, the hard-core "believers" in Trump are exactly that: believers. It's (as I myself am tired of saying) a cult, which is to say, religious, which is to say, those people can't NOT defend him. It's a matter of psychic survival, or at least the survival of their psyches as currently constituted.
The first time I saw Republican voters describe Trump as honest, I was suitably gobsmacked, but it's what you're getting at: He's "honest" because he doesn't pretend to be a nice person. Assholes always assume everyone else is an asshole too, but everyone else is putting on an act and pretending not to be, thus the asshole is the only honest one.
Yeah…'Werner Erhard', an _incredible_ asshole whose major cult-teaching was 'Everyone is an asshole.', comes to mind.
As I see it, all these mooks are running in hopes that Trump will depart the scene, either through the legal process or Death by Hamberder. But only DeSantis, as governor of the state wherein Trump dwells, has any power to take him out. Not that the attack on Disney provides any evidence DeSantis and his pet legislature could pull it off, but I wouldn't plotz if he tried.
Meanwhile, Dark Horses reminds me to say that Slow Horses is the best thing on TV right now and Gary Oldman is a genius.
man, you keep pumping out the good stuff like this, I may have to rob a liquor store and resubscribe..
pitched this for the scott campaign the other day, 'tim scott, a return to tradition, you n*gg*r, not my n*gg*r, 2024!'
fine, here's my $7. don't you fucking die on me roy!