35 Comments
Jun 30, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Jesus fucking christ, Roy. That was sharp enough to cleave atoms. Every bit of that was gold.

I honestly never expected dystopia to be anywhere near this stupid. It's clear some of you did.

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Jun 30, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

It’s kind of disorienting how mundanely we’re slouching towards the apocalypse.

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Jun 30, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Joseph Conrad nailed it over a century ago in 𝘕𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘰: “The sombre imbecility of tyranny.”

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Jun 30, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

“Step out of the car, ma’am. The governor and the DeVos foundation have deployed our unit to detain and strip search any person with a COEXIST bumper sticker. Please follow us back towards the wagon. This should not take long…”

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Jun 30, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

"AVAILABLE: Vladimir Putin's Little Green Men. Now for short-term lease on easy terms. Contact Prinz Erik von Schwarzwasser zu Abu Dhabi."

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There was some comedian, I wish I could recall who, with a great line about how "The designer of the COEXIST bumper sticker must have really got burned up over how a swastika would make the perfect X."

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THAT is good comedy

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Jun 30, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Absolutely brilliant, but also terrifying because it is actually a version of an all-too-possible future. No one doubts conservatives would like to engage in this kind of brain-dead authoritarianism on a mass scale.

I hate to cherry-pick when it is all so good, but “paperwork has been filed with valet parking” is just absurdist genius.

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"Tennessee's a hillbilly dumping ground, and Georgia's a lousy state too."

Flannery O'Connor

I bet rich dude is paying 2200 bucks a day per man. He don't really fucking care because he has so much money he can't possibly spend it faster than it grows from the interest. In spite of that, rich dude is a sorrowful evil fuck because there are people that make more money than he does.Not many, but even one ruins everything for him.

Out of that 2200 a day,

the National Guardsmen

make 104 bucks plus $42.50 towards college tuition. Dick Cheney gets the rest.

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Jun 30, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

“Love the Second Amendment? Join the National Guard!” - the ghost of Chief Justice Warren Burger.

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Jun 30, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

You know, in a way, this is not at all funny.

Or maybe it’s me. We did the Cody, Wyoming, rodeo last night and it was triggering in the obsession of bullshit Republican patriotism and Xianity. Cody is no fucked up on that level, they have a Cody Cowboy Church.

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Jun 30, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

In almost all the ways it's not at all funny. I saw this yesterday and had no words. I wasn't expecting funny. I honest to all gods do not know how this is remotely legal in any way. I can't imagine why anyone thinks this is a good idea, no matter what they're doing. I would have problems with this if it was building sandbags for floods.

This is just the gun extension of those other two jackasses building a space program. It defeats the entire purpose of democracy when you don't even have to fucking LOBBY, you just make your policies happen with raw money.

I know this has basically been happening for a long time, but we are skipping some serious "consent of the governed" steps here.

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Jun 30, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

There are a lot of people here, including Republicans, who are incensed by Noem’s latest stunt. Plenty of people who voted for her last time loathe her now, and she won by less than 1%. That said, all she needs is 50%+1, and despite the significant opposition, our electorate appears to be obstinately Foxified.

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well more like 3.5% or 11,500 votes. We'd be a lot better off with Billy Sutton, the rodeo cowboy that married a distant cousin of mine

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She didn’t clear 51% last time. Not all the opposing votes went to a single person, but that was her total.

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True, but a majority is not required to win.

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The whole Abbott crisis is so stupid that it's easy to miss that we are now seeing billionaires openly purchasing government actions for partisn point & Pub-fuck gubners bragging about it.

Note I said "openly" --

This Constitution ain't gonna crisis itself.

I've got to wonder if this is not at least somewhat a response to the DOJ suing the State of Georgia. "Interfur in meh stassrighs? I'll shows ya."

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Jun 30, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

The Kelsey Grammer reference brings it full circle. A few years ago he helped a California billionaire completely tangle up our state laws with a vanity project “victim’s rights” bill. Now we’ve got our shameless governor auctioning off the National Guard as mall rent-a-cops.

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Lemme get this straight: A private citizen is paying a state government to send that state's National Guard to *another* state to patrol an international boundary? And this is not a hypothetical question on some state bar exam? Hey, what happens if one of those Guardsmen (/women?) gets killed?

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Can it be considered progress that they are not being used to shoot striking union members or miners?

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... yet —

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This seems like reason enough on its own to tax the motherfuckers till they can't afford to play these games.

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Is anyone challenging this in court? Like a Guardsman or his/her family?

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They would need to be scheduled for deployment, which has yet to happen

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Jun 30, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

This is how the governor of a state with fewer people than Columbus, Ohio becomes a Republican presidential candidate in our Benighted States of America. Of course, it could just be retaliation for the time Willie Brown sent the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus to brighten up the Sturgis motorcycle rally.*

Thanks for the scary laughs Roy.

*1. SF has about as many people as SD.

2. Unlike Noem's insane stunt, this didn't really happen.

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Jun 30, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

I about fell out of my chair laughing at the Gone with the Wind "disindoctrination".

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Jun 30, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

“if I could see you smile.”

I’d like to say I LOLed, but that one had a bite to it. So I chuckled ruefully.

Great punchline, because it’s not just a laugh, it’s a -recognition.-

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Jun 30, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Yep. I did the "wince followed by rueful chuckle" on that one myself.

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Trying to imagine the planning in South Dakota.

We need to send in troops because it's such a huge emergency at the border. South Dakota needs to do its part!

Well, how many should we send? 5,000? 1,000?

Actually, how about 50 instead?

Fine but you know that still seems like we might be investing too much in this huge emergency at the border.

I know, we'll get a donor to pay for it. I know an idiot from Tennessee that will give money for anything.

Perfect! Since the donor is from Tennessee, South Dakota is really doing pretty much nothing.

Fantastic! That arrangement has the advantage of looking totally sketchy as well as pointless. I think we've got a winner here.

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Years ago, it must have been 1995, I heard some bloviator on a Sunday talk-show fulminating against that year's Rightist chimera, the Health I.D. card the Clinton's plan would very definitely unleash on all Americans. He yelled 'Americans will not stand for a Gummint Card with their picture on it!.', at which point they cut for an advertising break whose first ad was an encomium to 'the new Chase credit card with your picture right on it' and I remembered that we'll probably not see privatised fascism coming.

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not a government card, though

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Sure, but I've heard lots of people claiming that private industry can do everything more efficiently than the government, so why not oppression?

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I wonder what these Guardsmen are expected to do in Texas, other than have their picture taken. I don't remember It Can't Happen Here being this stupid.

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There is very little they can do -- mostly they can observe and report which was a bad movie too

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Y'know, I know the local cops can be hired to be "Security" here. But that's Portland for ya and I think think this is a side hustle for the cops through a "private firm" {wink, wink}. But to think the national Guard can be deployed in two directions (you can go to war with the Army!, you can deployed with private investment transferred through the state!) is not the same as "Hey, after Basic, it one weekend a month!". I mean they are deployed if there are massive tornadoes destroy things because the "Help your community in a disaster" is another of their recruitment messages but it not like it's tornado season....in...South Dakota....

Never mind. this is so Noem. My poor brother and his family live there. I hear plenty. My poor brother is less poor now because he delivers packages. Apparently, that pays more than being an editor of a newspaper.

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