jeez, roy. I see big money in it for you if the correct well-connected right -wing media people can persuade you to jump leagues. I mean, this is superb parody, but so much on the nose. come to think of it, this may not even be over-the-top enough.
The rapist being an immigrant was an absolute gift to them, and their pivot to illegal immigration was so rapid it generated a breeze that could be felt miles away. As has been pointed out, they “believe” half the population (Democrats) are pedophile groomers, but also “believe” it highly unlikely the raped 10 year old could be a true story. Contradictory and illogical, you say? Quick, look over here, it’s a shiny object!
They will use this same technique – skepticism, followed by rapid redirection – for every abortion horror story that occurs from now on.
They simply can't be more obscene. Fox had on right-wing asshole Todd Rokita, AG of Indiana, to threaten the doctor who performed the abortion. Her name and photo are now all over the media. They already have the death of George Tiller notched on their belt and now they're after another. For anyone who hasn't seen it, here's what he said, including a threat to investigate any woman having an abortion:
"We're gathering the evidence as we speak, and we're going to fight this to the end, including looking at her licensure if she failed to report. And in Indiana it's a crime … to intentionally not report. This is a child, and there's a strong public interest in understanding if someone under the age of 16 or under the age of 18 or really any woman is having abortion in our state."
They absolutely want her killed, and harassed/doxed is their fallback position. This needs to be stated -- plainly, clearly, and with reference to Tiller -- by every politician who claims to support a woman's right to bodily autonomy.
And talking frankly about what forced childbirth does to the body of a 10 or 11 year old wouldn't be out of line in this situation, either.
To them, all immigrants with certain syllables in their name or certain skin tones are assumed to be "illegal." Until he is found to be of Cuban descent, then we'll be talking about "socialism."
I wonder about the audience for this stuff, elderly white folks who can switch instantly from "Didn't happen! Fake news!" to "Illegals is rapin' our kids!" without even a millisecond of "Wait, huh?" What do they get from this? Do they worry that if they don't marinate 24 hours a day in a vat of rage, their hearts might stop beating?
Apparently Dorothy Parker was more prescient than I originally thought. Every morning now I wake up and as I look at the news I ask myself "What fresh hell is this?"
I feel sometimes like I'm one of the lesser Olde Testament profits, without the benefit of King James' boys as translators: "Oh Woe is DC." Doesn't actually flow there does it? Well I suspect that Roy is one of the Old Testament stand up comedians. I believe that they were collected in one of the lost books of the OT.
I have to admit that my very favorite take on this story was the WSJ's "A Story Too Good to Confirm" in which the WSJ railed against this fake FAKE story . . . without bothering to confirm a thing about it.
"Too good to check" was something we used to say in the WSJ newsroom when we heard a story so good we REALLY wanted it to be true. Said in jest. The editorial side - who in DC were rarely if ever in the office unless they were filming a documentary or something - should be ashamed and embarrassed. But they won't be.
Sorry, can't be bothered to check, but does the printed-on-paper WSJ still actually contain printed-on-paper stock prices? If so, can anyone explain why?
And if they do, TV Guide really needs to talk to some venture capitalists.
Fox only stopped claiming the story was a hoax when they could put up a chyron that said "ILLEGAL CHARGED WITH RAPE OF 10-YEAR-OLD". This could be a way to get them to finally report on a whole bunch of "hoaxes". Get a few volunteers to take the rap, and those chyrons could read "ILLEGAL CHARGED WITH GLOBAL WARMING" or "ILLEGAL CHARGED WITH COVID" or "ILLEGAL CHARGED WITH 9/11".
Laugh now til the conservatives start spewing stuff like this. Today's satire is tomorrow's legitimatizing mainstream talking point.
Whatever; I'm so age-addled that I believed this story when I first heard it.
Haven't read the comments yet so maybe someone beat me to it but I love the idea so much: maybe the denial of the story by conservatives basing their skepticism on nothing more than what they pull out of their asses is not unrelated to their insufficiently-discussed projection. Then again, it' not like they normally rely on documented facts and stuff.
Anyway:
"...you will see an end to rape like Texas Governor Greg Abbott promised..."
At least for het man/woman rape, what are the odds of a SCOTUS decision holding that given men's rights vs women's rights, the former has an absolute right to fuck any woman they want. Certainly to whatever extent it's needed the marital rape exception's likely to get a lot of jurisprudential support. So right there, rapes are going to go into steep decline if not elimination.
Back in the olden days , when I was in high school, Mike Dewine, current Ohio governor, was the county district attorney.
Now every year, a couple of months before the election the county sheriff's drug task force
would go out and Round Up all the dope smokers the undercover Sheriff's had met in the course of the year. They would get 30 or 40 indictments together and make numerous arrests all over the county in the course of a day. They would start making arrests at 5 or 6 in the morning. The local TV stations would go with them and invariably there was a footage of some skinny guy with long stringy hair in bikini underwear and handcuffs being led to the Paddy Wagon by 7 or 8 jumbo size deputies. All they ever seem to catch were the dime bag guys . I think the feds muscled in for credit on any substantial bust.
So I was in high school and one of the kids I went to school with was Mike Dewine's nephew. He was a couple years older than me and known to be a good place to go if you need a little something something. Some Wise Guy figured out when the cops had you in the room they were asking you where you got your evil weed
a really good answer that question was "I got it from Mike Dewine's nephew." this turned out to be a "get-out-of-jail-free card."
They never came for me. One time several years later they got neighbors on either side of me.
That was stressful. I came home from work and the street was full of cops. The Pucker Factor was pretty high on that one. I knew one guy who was coming home from work and saw his front yard full of cops. He kept on driving and didn't stop until California . He lives a fine life there by all accounts but never ever came home for Christmas .
Roy, you might consider working for Tucker Carlson. Treat it more like a SNL or Jon Stewart, a comedy-writing gig. But when I think about it, the right-wingers would wonder why you were explicating all these logical connections.
Just skip to the fact the rapist is an immigrant. Which we knew all along, even when we were denying or doubting, skeptical, you know, it ever happened. Only immigrants and Democrats rape children.
Your desire to show your education (you are educated, aren't you? We can't tell, because we just have pieces of paper and books we never read, somewhere) get in the way of the facts. If something bad did happen, it's not because of laws or because religious ideology causes problems (which goes without saying) but because liberals are too soft on crime and too many folks have strayed from the righteous ways of our enlightened forebears.
Back on Earth, perhaps not at the kitchen table but close enough, reading this I prepare for work feeling certain that any future study will reveal signs of PTSD in my bloodwork because of what's progressing in our country. Cancer was a birthday present compared to this.
As soon as I saw the name of the man charged with the rape, I knew where this was going. Ergo, I am qualified for the Rapid Response Team. But I'm also conditioned by my upbringing. My racist dad would sit at the breakfast table with our heavily segregated city's morning paper and read the crime reports to us kids, asking after every gruesome crime story "Guess which race?" Until one day my little 10-year-old self beat him to the punch by asking "Guess which gender?" My dad and I never got along.
Much appreciation, Roy et. al. for making me despite this horror show. Two things: 1) I'm so confused, though. All the complaining about immigrants coming here and making too many babies and pretty soon there won't be enough white people to keep the oppression racket going but then they want to make this girl have an immigrant's baby. 2) This veers off topic but out of the full heart the mouth speaks. So my mother used to be a child protective services social worker by which I mean to say she not only understands that men rape little girls sometimes but also is acquainted with PTSD, "adverse childhood experiences," all that. But she's also an evangelical Christian, which means she's a one-issue voter (she used to be a two-issue voter but then discovered how many gay people she's fond of; sadly, she still seems to hate women or at least those who are able to bear young), which twists her up a little, because before she found Jesus she also used to be a long-haired pot-smoking liberal hippie who wore a stars & stripes halter top while doing the puff-puff-pass at CCR and CS&N concerts. Before Biden was elected, I got the devil in me and asked my mom who she was going to vote for. She said she hadn't decided because of the one issue. She wouldn't vote for Trump, but she might probably abstain. I may have had a glass or three--a vinous haze makes it easier for me to hang out with my mom but it also makes me a little cantankerous. We got into the predictable argument ("If abortion is illegal, women will die!" vs. "They're killing babies!"). I still don't know what she eventually decided. When I first read about that poor little girl, that child whose biggest concern in life should be how annoying her little brother is or how she wants to step up her dodge ball game, I desperately wanted to send the article to my mom and force her to explicitly say that yes, she believed that a kind and loving God would force this little baby girl to give birth to her rapist's spawn. I've resisted the temptation so far.
jeez, roy. I see big money in it for you if the correct well-connected right -wing media people can persuade you to jump leagues. I mean, this is superb parody, but so much on the nose. come to think of it, this may not even be over-the-top enough.
Poe's Law is the spectre that haunts Roy.
I fought Poe's Law, and the law won.
That last tweet is right on! We cannot let illegal immigrants rape our women! That's the job of upstanding American rapists!
duquesne! How is it possible that just last evening I was wondering how you're doing because we'd not heard from you in a while?
So very glad to see you commenting, and hope you're doing well!
Bin bizy with new job type thing. Also moving, avoiding fascists.
For the fascists-thing, I might have suggested practicing to improve your aim
Stealing the jobs of our priests, pastors, and youth sports coaches!
"incested"
2 marks...and a tip o' the hat for capturing the entirety of American brain-free fascist witocity...
For Cecily Strong's "Clown Abortion" bit on SNL, she invented the word "clowncest."
Lamplighter. Milkman. Typesetter, pin setter . Switchboard operator ...
Guess we can add factchecker to the list.
" When I use a word" Frank Lutz said, in a rather scornful tone" it means exactly what I choose it to mean-neither more nor less."
Factchucker. Chuck out all the facts until only narrative is left.
Excuse me, you misspelled "factfucker."
As in Factchucker Todd.
The rapist being an immigrant was an absolute gift to them, and their pivot to illegal immigration was so rapid it generated a breeze that could be felt miles away. As has been pointed out, they “believe” half the population (Democrats) are pedophile groomers, but also “believe” it highly unlikely the raped 10 year old could be a true story. Contradictory and illogical, you say? Quick, look over here, it’s a shiny object!
They will use this same technique – skepticism, followed by rapid redirection – for every abortion horror story that occurs from now on.
They simply can't be more obscene. Fox had on right-wing asshole Todd Rokita, AG of Indiana, to threaten the doctor who performed the abortion. Her name and photo are now all over the media. They already have the death of George Tiller notched on their belt and now they're after another. For anyone who hasn't seen it, here's what he said, including a threat to investigate any woman having an abortion:
"We're gathering the evidence as we speak, and we're going to fight this to the end, including looking at her licensure if she failed to report. And in Indiana it's a crime … to intentionally not report. This is a child, and there's a strong public interest in understanding if someone under the age of 16 or under the age of 18 or really any woman is having abortion in our state."
They absolutely want her killed, and harassed/doxed is their fallback position. This needs to be stated -- plainly, clearly, and with reference to Tiller -- by every politician who claims to support a woman's right to bodily autonomy.
And talking frankly about what forced childbirth does to the body of a 10 or 11 year old wouldn't be out of line in this situation, either.
Two words that will always serve the Rapid Response Team well, a simple phrase to shut down all logic, common sense, or human decency: God's will.
Yep. Slap a thin decoupage of Jesus on top of your reactionary fascism, and it taketh away the sins of the world.
Jesus or Jussie, or both
Donald Jesus Trump
And Jussie Smollett!
The fact that Bill O’Reilly and Fox suffered no consequences for inciting the murder of George Tiller is an obscene affront to justice.
I believe the term is Stochastic Terrorism.
To them, all immigrants with certain syllables in their name or certain skin tones are assumed to be "illegal." Until he is found to be of Cuban descent, then we'll be talking about "socialism."
Since most of the child molesters are church affiliated, they had to make up a “Dems are groomers” message.
To paraphrase George Orwell: "The argument is not meant to be won, the argument is meant to be continuous."
I wonder about the audience for this stuff, elderly white folks who can switch instantly from "Didn't happen! Fake news!" to "Illegals is rapin' our kids!" without even a millisecond of "Wait, huh?" What do they get from this? Do they worry that if they don't marinate 24 hours a day in a vat of rage, their hearts might stop beating?
Apparently Dorothy Parker was more prescient than I originally thought. Every morning now I wake up and as I look at the news I ask myself "What fresh hell is this?"
I feel sometimes like I'm one of the lesser Olde Testament profits, without the benefit of King James' boys as translators: "Oh Woe is DC." Doesn't actually flow there does it? Well I suspect that Roy is one of the Old Testament stand up comedians. I believe that they were collected in one of the lost books of the OT.
The Book of Shtik.
1 The burden of the Word of the Lord to the People of the Chuckle Hut by Shecky. 2 Hear the voice of the prophet: “Is this thing on?”
Joshua slayed the Amirites.
"No matter how cynical you get, it's hard to keep up"--Lili Tomlin
I just realized that I misspelled prophet, but perhaps given the world we currently live in it can be viewed as done on purpose?
For what does it profit a prophet to gain the world but lose his spelling?
I have to admit that my very favorite take on this story was the WSJ's "A Story Too Good to Confirm" in which the WSJ railed against this fake FAKE story . . . without bothering to confirm a thing about it.
"Too good to check" was something we used to say in the WSJ newsroom when we heard a story so good we REALLY wanted it to be true. Said in jest. The editorial side - who in DC were rarely if ever in the office unless they were filming a documentary or something - should be ashamed and embarrassed. But they won't be.
But they’re a respectable news source because their hard news reporting is good! They transcribe the stock numbers faithfully! /s
Sorry, can't be bothered to check, but does the printed-on-paper WSJ still actually contain printed-on-paper stock prices? If so, can anyone explain why?
And if they do, TV Guide really needs to talk to some venture capitalists.
To be honest, I don’t know. I was using that as snarky shorthand for “their business reporting is top notch.”
Fox only stopped claiming the story was a hoax when they could put up a chyron that said "ILLEGAL CHARGED WITH RAPE OF 10-YEAR-OLD". This could be a way to get them to finally report on a whole bunch of "hoaxes". Get a few volunteers to take the rap, and those chyrons could read "ILLEGAL CHARGED WITH GLOBAL WARMING" or "ILLEGAL CHARGED WITH COVID" or "ILLEGAL CHARGED WITH 9/11".
It's worth a shot.
"Illegal" as a noun is one of their crowning achievements.
ILLEGALS STORMED THE CAPITOL TO OVERTURN THE ELECTION
No, really, beating up cops and breaking into the Senate chamber is totally illegal.
Shocking if true! Someone gently wake Merrick Garland!
"Someone get me my slippers, I've got to get to the kitchen to make myself a calming cup of herbal tea."
Laugh now til the conservatives start spewing stuff like this. Today's satire is tomorrow's legitimatizing mainstream talking point.
Whatever; I'm so age-addled that I believed this story when I first heard it.
Haven't read the comments yet so maybe someone beat me to it but I love the idea so much: maybe the denial of the story by conservatives basing their skepticism on nothing more than what they pull out of their asses is not unrelated to their insufficiently-discussed projection. Then again, it' not like they normally rely on documented facts and stuff.
Anyway:
"...you will see an end to rape like Texas Governor Greg Abbott promised..."
At least for het man/woman rape, what are the odds of a SCOTUS decision holding that given men's rights vs women's rights, the former has an absolute right to fuck any woman they want. Certainly to whatever extent it's needed the marital rape exception's likely to get a lot of jurisprudential support. So right there, rapes are going to go into steep decline if not elimination.
Sort of an analogy to "Matters not the votes, matters only who counts the votes".
Back in the olden days , when I was in high school, Mike Dewine, current Ohio governor, was the county district attorney.
Now every year, a couple of months before the election the county sheriff's drug task force
would go out and Round Up all the dope smokers the undercover Sheriff's had met in the course of the year. They would get 30 or 40 indictments together and make numerous arrests all over the county in the course of a day. They would start making arrests at 5 or 6 in the morning. The local TV stations would go with them and invariably there was a footage of some skinny guy with long stringy hair in bikini underwear and handcuffs being led to the Paddy Wagon by 7 or 8 jumbo size deputies. All they ever seem to catch were the dime bag guys . I think the feds muscled in for credit on any substantial bust.
So I was in high school and one of the kids I went to school with was Mike Dewine's nephew. He was a couple years older than me and known to be a good place to go if you need a little something something. Some Wise Guy figured out when the cops had you in the room they were asking you where you got your evil weed
a really good answer that question was "I got it from Mike Dewine's nephew." this turned out to be a "get-out-of-jail-free card."
They never came for me. One time several years later they got neighbors on either side of me.
That was stressful. I came home from work and the street was full of cops. The Pucker Factor was pretty high on that one. I knew one guy who was coming home from work and saw his front yard full of cops. He kept on driving and didn't stop until California . He lives a fine life there by all accounts but never ever came home for Christmas .
Mike Dewine sucks.
Roy, you might consider working for Tucker Carlson. Treat it more like a SNL or Jon Stewart, a comedy-writing gig. But when I think about it, the right-wingers would wonder why you were explicating all these logical connections.
Just skip to the fact the rapist is an immigrant. Which we knew all along, even when we were denying or doubting, skeptical, you know, it ever happened. Only immigrants and Democrats rape children.
Your desire to show your education (you are educated, aren't you? We can't tell, because we just have pieces of paper and books we never read, somewhere) get in the way of the facts. If something bad did happen, it's not because of laws or because religious ideology causes problems (which goes without saying) but because liberals are too soft on crime and too many folks have strayed from the righteous ways of our enlightened forebears.
Back on Earth, perhaps not at the kitchen table but close enough, reading this I prepare for work feeling certain that any future study will reveal signs of PTSD in my bloodwork because of what's progressing in our country. Cancer was a birthday present compared to this.
I hope I rise above my education.
As soon as I saw the name of the man charged with the rape, I knew where this was going. Ergo, I am qualified for the Rapid Response Team. But I'm also conditioned by my upbringing. My racist dad would sit at the breakfast table with our heavily segregated city's morning paper and read the crime reports to us kids, asking after every gruesome crime story "Guess which race?" Until one day my little 10-year-old self beat him to the punch by asking "Guess which gender?" My dad and I never got along.
Well played.
So the thousands of female refugees wasting away in internment camps just south of the border are now welcome to come in, right?
ZOMG that same guy in that last Tweet responded to me with almost exactly the same text.
Much appreciation, Roy et. al. for making me despite this horror show. Two things: 1) I'm so confused, though. All the complaining about immigrants coming here and making too many babies and pretty soon there won't be enough white people to keep the oppression racket going but then they want to make this girl have an immigrant's baby. 2) This veers off topic but out of the full heart the mouth speaks. So my mother used to be a child protective services social worker by which I mean to say she not only understands that men rape little girls sometimes but also is acquainted with PTSD, "adverse childhood experiences," all that. But she's also an evangelical Christian, which means she's a one-issue voter (she used to be a two-issue voter but then discovered how many gay people she's fond of; sadly, she still seems to hate women or at least those who are able to bear young), which twists her up a little, because before she found Jesus she also used to be a long-haired pot-smoking liberal hippie who wore a stars & stripes halter top while doing the puff-puff-pass at CCR and CS&N concerts. Before Biden was elected, I got the devil in me and asked my mom who she was going to vote for. She said she hadn't decided because of the one issue. She wouldn't vote for Trump, but she might probably abstain. I may have had a glass or three--a vinous haze makes it easier for me to hang out with my mom but it also makes me a little cantankerous. We got into the predictable argument ("If abortion is illegal, women will die!" vs. "They're killing babies!"). I still don't know what she eventually decided. When I first read about that poor little girl, that child whose biggest concern in life should be how annoying her little brother is or how she wants to step up her dodge ball game, I desperately wanted to send the article to my mom and force her to explicitly say that yes, she believed that a kind and loving God would force this little baby girl to give birth to her rapist's spawn. I've resisted the temptation so far.