Sep 11, 2023·edited Sep 11, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso
"AUDIENCE: [Laughs]"
Nicely done!
Local news and national sports shows yesterday kept talking about "Honoring 9-11" which seems fucked up to me. You could honor say, the heroes of 9/11 or the victims of 9-11. Just honoring " 9-11" -
As what? "Not just effective, but cost effective! Spectacularly executed! Must see TV !"
Too funny. Like a bowlful of gems, to mix metaphors. Too many great lines to pull out.
Great way to start the day, start the week, and, of course, to observe today’s sacred day (by which I mean the sarcasm there’s directed to, and only to, the right wing obsession and use of the event to wallow in Islaphobia ‘cause haters gotta hate; I’m heartless but not *that* heartless).
Considering conservatives rewrote the history of J6 literally within a few months, the only reason they haven’t done the same for 9/11 is because a Republican was President, the attackers were brown and Muslim rather than someone’s evangelical PawPaw, and the internet moved a lot slower in the aughts.
Excellent column Roy, or as Vivek would say, “hysterical, especially for those ladies reading this.”
I reiterated some of the lines and then ad-libbed a few of my own into the conversation.
HALEY: Saudi Arabia is an American ally. And they share our values. You don’t see drag queens story hour and trans people on the streets of Riyadh, I can tell you that.
“Yes, we have many shared values with the kingdom. Like beheading liberals and homosexuals; stoning women to death who get abortions or use contraceptives. Torturing and imprisoning women who want to drive. And they definitely don’t teach CRT in their classrooms.” And we have a Christian version of Sharia Law enshrined in our Constitution as well.
AUDIENCE: Hooray!
RAMASWAMY: It’s not about values, it’s about all you people [points to all the candidates], all of you being part of the Saudi Soros Deep State McGillicuddy.
“Of course it’s not about values, it’s about Global Warming policies that are destroying the American way of life.....Drill baby drill!”
RON DeSANTIS: I agree 100% about the Saudis and their values. And I’ll tell you something else. Whatever you want to say about Saddam Hussein, he knew how to deal with homosexual activists and CRT.
“Apparently so does DeSatan, he just tries to legislate their existence into oblivion. It’s a kindler, gentler form of banishment. And of course, imprisoning them so they are no longer a blight on polite society. By polite, I mean the true Americans : white Christian’s who tamed all the savages.
On this solemn day, let us all pause to reflect on the likely response if a leading Democratic candidate for President came within a mile of 9/11 trutherism.
“If Reagan hadn’t killed the traffic controllers union, 9/11 never would have happened.” This is why we don’t have stupid liberal conspiracy theories. Try saying that with a straight face.
Dear Sir: How dare you attempt levity on this, the day conservative Republicans solemnly and enthusiastically celebrate 9/11. You sully the memory of the victims they wish to exploit! For shame! [waves flag; blows noisemaker]
I'ma break out my broad brush to note that Saudis* can't do anything, like work or make or build. They just spend and hire. Famously couldn't drill their oil w/o the aid of an infidel. Too rich to wipe their own asses. Oodles of time on their soft bejeweled hands to harass Bangladeshi wage slaves; gays; and broads.
You know who envies that life. Trump's put-upon little guys (and gals) from the dollar store dipshits to the American gentry. Trump embodies it, plus he's a better asshole than any Saudi can be in public.
*If my stereotyping is too much, insert "THE" Saudis. It hits differently for some reason.
Quick question: Can anyone remember what Rudy Giuliani actually did on 9/11 to make him a national hero, other than not visibly pooping his pants on-camera?
Deep State McGillicuddy is a Steep Date!
"AUDIENCE: [Laughs]"
Nicely done!
Local news and national sports shows yesterday kept talking about "Honoring 9-11" which seems fucked up to me. You could honor say, the heroes of 9/11 or the victims of 9-11. Just honoring " 9-11" -
As what? "Not just effective, but cost effective! Spectacularly executed! Must see TV !"
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Too funny. Like a bowlful of gems, to mix metaphors. Too many great lines to pull out.
Great way to start the day, start the week, and, of course, to observe today’s sacred day (by which I mean the sarcasm there’s directed to, and only to, the right wing obsession and use of the event to wallow in Islaphobia ‘cause haters gotta hate; I’m heartless but not *that* heartless).
Considering conservatives rewrote the history of J6 literally within a few months, the only reason they haven’t done the same for 9/11 is because a Republican was President, the attackers were brown and Muslim rather than someone’s evangelical PawPaw, and the internet moved a lot slower in the aughts.
Excellent column Roy, or as Vivek would say, “hysterical, especially for those ladies reading this.”
I reiterated some of the lines and then ad-libbed a few of my own into the conversation.
HALEY: Saudi Arabia is an American ally. And they share our values. You don’t see drag queens story hour and trans people on the streets of Riyadh, I can tell you that.
“Yes, we have many shared values with the kingdom. Like beheading liberals and homosexuals; stoning women to death who get abortions or use contraceptives. Torturing and imprisoning women who want to drive. And they definitely don’t teach CRT in their classrooms.” And we have a Christian version of Sharia Law enshrined in our Constitution as well.
AUDIENCE: Hooray!
RAMASWAMY: It’s not about values, it’s about all you people [points to all the candidates], all of you being part of the Saudi Soros Deep State McGillicuddy.
“Of course it’s not about values, it’s about Global Warming policies that are destroying the American way of life.....Drill baby drill!”
RON DeSANTIS: I agree 100% about the Saudis and their values. And I’ll tell you something else. Whatever you want to say about Saddam Hussein, he knew how to deal with homosexual activists and CRT.
“Apparently so does DeSatan, he just tries to legislate their existence into oblivion. It’s a kindler, gentler form of banishment. And of course, imprisoning them so they are no longer a blight on polite society. By polite, I mean the true Americans : white Christian’s who tamed all the savages.
There, fixed it....:)
On this solemn day, let us all pause to reflect on the likely response if a leading Democratic candidate for President came within a mile of 9/11 trutherism.
“If Reagan hadn’t killed the traffic controllers union, 9/11 never would have happened.” This is why we don’t have stupid liberal conspiracy theories. Try saying that with a straight face.
Dear Sir: How dare you attempt levity on this, the day conservative Republicans solemnly and enthusiastically celebrate 9/11. You sully the memory of the victims they wish to exploit! For shame! [waves flag; blows noisemaker]
I'ma break out my broad brush to note that Saudis* can't do anything, like work or make or build. They just spend and hire. Famously couldn't drill their oil w/o the aid of an infidel. Too rich to wipe their own asses. Oodles of time on their soft bejeweled hands to harass Bangladeshi wage slaves; gays; and broads.
You know who envies that life. Trump's put-upon little guys (and gals) from the dollar store dipshits to the American gentry. Trump embodies it, plus he's a better asshole than any Saudi can be in public.
*If my stereotyping is too much, insert "THE" Saudis. It hits differently for some reason.
I would ask why there's beer cans at a Presidential debate, but then I remember it's a Republican debate and it makes sense.
Feeling kinda manic this a.m. Off to an A.A. meeting, have fun.
If I were Vivek, I would lay low today lest someone mistake him for a hijacker.
Quick question: Can anyone remember what Rudy Giuliani actually did on 9/11 to make him a national hero, other than not visibly pooping his pants on-camera?