53 Comments

Rule is that there’s no explaining what one finds funny. One’s amused or not and an analysis pretty much ends there.

But this, this I found highly amusing especially the Trumpy Abe Lincoln.

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I was mostly amused by the fact that this "press release"(?) ["nocturnal emission"?] was so very dictated by him & then printed up unedited or punctuated. Based on what we know of DJT these days, it's not just his modfifiers that are dangling...

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"long been recognized as a beautiful piece of bronze sculpture"

Yeah, all the bronze-sculpture experts agree.

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"Many bronze sculpture experts are saying..."

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It's the Frederick Douglass of bronze statues.

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People are talking about it more and more?

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It now has more pieces to talk about

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Depicting when Lee Rodin on his horse.

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According to bronze-sculpture scripture.

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Dontcha mean "Alexander Graham Cracker"?

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Also, Attila the Hunk.

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I think Missus Gordium (betrothed of Gordium, of barfarkeled-knot fame) called him “Big Alex.”

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Not Big Al? or Big Gay Al?

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The translation from the original Phyrgian is inexact. Something about a f ked-up curtain pull

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This is almost too sadly real, because we all know when it comes to historical knowledge Trump is without question a “When the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor” guy.

Normally after a hallucinogenic sketch like that I’d say “I want some of that drug” but this time I really, really don’t want any of that drug, lmao. Bravo, Roy.

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Trump History beats Drunk History hands down.

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"Alexander the Graham Bell" is, without a doubt, the funniest thing ever written. Good job!

That last bit, about Trump doing commentary at a Hollyfield fight at the Hard Rock Cafe on the 20th anniversary of 9-11-

I'll be honest Boss, don't you think that's a bit far fetched?

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Alexander the Graham Bell: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXimtSCkaO0

Part of me wants Holyfield to drop out and be substituted by Herschel Walker.

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Holyfield and Walker are the same age and Belfort is an MMA guy not a boxer, so why not a football guy rather than a boxer

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Why not all three against a samurai? I'd pay to see that shit.

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Switch out Herschel for Christian & I'm down!

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Beg to differ: it's "President Lincoln has been shot by a member of the entertainment industry!"

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Wonderful! I don’t doubt that if subjected to Flesch-Kincaid, this would rate no higher than 4th grade reading level, just like the real Trump.

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Authentic Trump-ier Gibberish

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"General Lee sir President Lincoln has been shot by a member of the entertainment industry! " ROFL — and that was only one of many. Thanks!

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Just yesterday my local newspaper ran an editorial for [war criminal] Marc Theissen. Theissen says that President Biden should be shunned and barred from any 9-11 memorials because he "abjectly surrendered to al Qeada and the Taliban."

Yes, 'tis truly an enduring an completely unsolvable mystery as to who was president prior to February of this year. It's a shame we will never know! So I guess Joe Biden must take the blame for having negotiated the withdrawal deal.

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If you’re a war criminal or torture enthusiast, there’s nothing you can do to prevent newspapers from airing your opinions forever. In fact, I think they’re required to. It’s in the constitution or something.

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Afghanistan's right over there, Marc. Don't let any of us hold you back.

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I was just going to tell you to open this one up to the world and then Twitter told me you already had. It's really just superb from start to finish.

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"2nd LIEUTENANT: General Lee sir President Lincoln has been shot by a member of the entertainment industry!" Each weekday I can expect a LOL moment from Roy. This one got me today.

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If Bin Laden had been on our side we could have won the G.W.O.T in one day, but he just loved his Islam too much.

But let's put up a statue to him anyway, he was a pretty great commander!

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"When you're a general they just let you do it."

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That sounds like a reasonable facsimile of what might have been going on in Trump's head. Close enough for me.

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More like a mimeograph, right down to the fumes

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The purple-stained lungs (and fingers) of my childhood understood this comment

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Mine too. We used to have mimeographed tests that smelled pretty druggy

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When I was in kindergarten, the mimeograph machine for the whole K-12 school was in the hall just outside our door. It wasn’t a big school, but still: lots of noise and fumes when the teachers ran those off every day

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Ditto.

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Brilliant. I'm positive that in Trump's mind, he hasn't a clue about why the Civil War was even fought. To the guy who put the letter "C" next to the names of colored folks to make it easier to deny them apartments in Trump Village, the South just wanted to continue to own blah people and work them to death, so where's the harm in that?

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I could see Trump as a "Hell yeah, the civil war was fought to preserve slavery, and it's a damn shame they didn't win!" kinda guy.

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Civil War Trump would have paid a newly arrived immigrant to take his place on the battlefield, then tried to get that man deported after the war

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Hilarious. But can't some, or all, of us merrily create bogus "statements" like the one on Roy's page. It's dollars to donuts that, no matter how stupid and illiterate it turned out, thousands would take it seriously. The graphic is simple. Come on, people.

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"into storage prior to its complete desecration"

Will they be sending out a Zoom link to the desecration? I don't do in-person desecrations any more, because of the Covid.

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Reminds of when the statue of Thorfinn Karlsefni, supposedly the appropriately "Nordic" discoverer of North America, was chopoed down overnight & dunked in the Schyullkill River. The statue was erected by USian eugenics societies & yt supremacists had made it a site of pilgrimage. It was thought that antifa done it -- more likely it was done by Eagles fans after a victory over the Vikings.

The statue now sits in conservation next to Frank Rizzo, with no plans to re-install either one

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Oh my god, this is good...beginning to end. Bravo, Roy.

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