LOL. I was in London last week, and the only way I can describe the mood to Americans would be if the President, the Pope, and your dog all died on the same day. You really had to go to Irish or Caribbean communities/pubs – and luckily I spent time in both, visiting friends – to get a different perspective.
The “Dissolution of the Monasteries” had me howling.
London calling! Yearning for yuan while still in mourning, Hong Kong gone, bang a gong, sing that song!
Maybe someone can come up with something to the tune of "I've Got Spurs." There's a Western tie-in with the whole knights in armor bullshit. Perform it in a Ronald Reagan mask and I think we have a winner.
Any president whose funeral parade does the whole boots backwards in the stirrups nonsense. I myself am holding out for having my body unceremoniously dumped at a really busy farmers' market, eyes wide open, preferably in front of a kettle corn vendor.
A British friend, stuck in a cab in stand-still traffic in London during the Diana-is-dead madness period, said something like "All this for a barmy half-wit clothes-horse." Cabby tossed him out.
Sep 15, 2022·edited Sep 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso
I'll be honest , a little bit of royalty goes a long way for me. I'm pretty fond of that Shakespeare stuff but once you get to the point where they quit sword fighting and beheading one another I lose interest real quick.
So I opened up this morning's
REBID, figure out the topic and think to myself "Well, it's not like he could ignore it." I dive right in though because Roy on a topic I'm not particularly excited about will , for sure, be better than anything else I could read today.
Boy was I ever wrong! This shit is hilarious. I lost it at
Once Shakespeare died, I think we could say any value that the monarchy had for the arts was thoroughly exhausted, it's been a case of diminishing returns on the investment ever since.
My people toddled 'cross the pond only about 30 years removed from Shakespeare. So I got a slightly softened spot (sorta like a boil) in my heart for the olde place and its inhabitants. In my opinion the main contribution of the royals has been to foment millions of good-to-great folk songs (composed by great folk), and yeah, a few choice bits from the Bard of Avon Calling...
My earliest ancestors in America came over on the Mayflower and then a couple of first cousins married each other and had kids, eventually leading to me. This likely explains much about my family
It might have to do with the ebbing of royalty as the focus of cultural power & fascination in England as the bourgeoisie increased in influence & wealth -- hence, Webster's revenge tragedies, Fletcher's "Knight of the Burning Pestle," "The Tragedie of Mariam," or Ben Jonson's comedies.
If you dislike sword fighting and beheading, I suggest you avoid The Spanish Tragedy. If you’re open to it though, whomst among us doesn’t love ghosts and revenge and poison and a protagonist biting out his tongue so he can’t be tortured to confess, and hurling it down on stage?
Coincidentally, I've avoided Steve's unfinished wordplay for just the reason you raised (except for the funny part – I always admire bad humor that works). Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah – inducing people to hate themselves for laughing...hmm...I've often felt...soiled...by my propensity to laugh at/with Frankie Boyle, f'rinstance, and it does not help that he looks exactly like my late brother...
"Charles, I know you're out there. I can hear you wheezing. Open this thing and let me out. We are not amused! Knock off this foolishness and let me out this instant. Charles!!"
Chuck3's long-standing/waiting might be a new record (can't be bothered to look) but long-standing notwithstanding, he'll be upstanding and grandstanding with the best of them.
I'm going to have to update my nickname library. I saw "Chuck3" and immediately thought of Trader Joe's wine, formerly Two Buck Chuck, now Three Buck Chuck. And while perusing the topic, I discovered that Fred Franzia (who originated Two Buck Chuck), died today at age 79, while the three mile Queue is underway. Coincidence, I'm sure.
Sep 15, 2022·edited Sep 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso
Sheer brilliance! Your "entertainments" are hilarious. I think the Tories are missing out on a great money-making opportunity, though. With a miles-long queue of people wanting to "pay their respects" why not charge a pound or two per "respect" along the way? "Respects" could be in the form of feathered hats and ribboned leg bells and such-like, transforming the huge crowd into the longest line of Morris dancers ever, maybe even setting a Guiness record and earning enough money to re-open a library somewhere for a few weeks. Hey, it makes just as much sense as having a royal family!
Brilliant Snark should be a Snarky Puppy cover band name.
And let's face it, we count on the disabled and chronically ill and the First Nations people for snark, brilliant or otherwise. Some of my snarkiest friends, etc...
I think they get delivered to to memorial or something. Which sounds like an excellent scam. You're not gonna spot your flowers there, how do you know they were delivered at all?
Sep 15, 2022·edited Sep 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso
You had me at “THE ONLY LAW IS BONAR LAW” but when Cilla Black officially became a popular British attraction I thoroughly plotzed. God Save us from (the now Independent) Jeremy Corbyn! (To be fair, for about ten minutes I supported him while he was my MP for Islington North.) Your Tesco gift card is in the post.
King Charles III channeling King Henry VIII — that olde-tyme Monarchy!
Also, reading REBID is not for the intellectually lazy, but thankfully, Google assists slothful students such as myself in researching the obscure references with which Edroso lards his substack epistles. The Latin took a while to find (comparatively speaking — 5-10 minutes, a loooong time for an incurious mental slug-a-bed like me) but Cilla Black came up right away! All 5 of her name, even.
For instant translations, if your browser can use javascript applets, make the following a bookmark, and then call it on some selected text, like Roy's Latin quote:
I spent part of last night copying alt-text into google translate to see if a guy who makes wooden animals was really telling a story about the capybaras dying together from some disaster. He did. I used the little huggy heart emoji and suggested I was charmed by this.
The French are laughing at me, because they think I didn't get the "they died" part. Yeah, I got that, but hell, I use that emoji on slime molds and whips scorpions too. You have no idea what kind of weird shit I find charming as hell.
They died *together*. After making up from a fight. How is that *not* charming?
Very disappointed in the conspiracy theorists over on this side of the pond that "Queen not dead, working as convenience-store clerk in rural Tennessee" is not already on my internet.
Later: "Queen not dead, will be sharing VP slot with JFK Junior."
Had she died in even remotely mysterious circumstances instead of boring, very old age I'm sure these theories would be flourishing. But unmistakably, Lizzie's in a box, in a box.
If they’re resurrecting (pun intended) living tableaux, I hope they’ve recruited guilds to present medieval mystery plays. Kids today don’t even learn about the York Play of the Crucifixion or The Second Shepherds’ Play in school these days. Harrumph!
Do I _really_ want to be a teacher with a class full of American junior high boys covering the history of the Conservative Party during the days of Bonar Law?
(I learned so much by reading the Wikipedia article in Asquith and folliwing every single link…and not just that Helena Bonham-Carter's a descendant.)
(Special NFTs of "The King's Touch" will be distributed to the first 75,000 pounds, er, mourners.)
Cilla Black? That's a deep cut.
LOL. I was in London last week, and the only way I can describe the mood to Americans would be if the President, the Pope, and your dog all died on the same day. You really had to go to Irish or Caribbean communities/pubs – and luckily I spent time in both, visiting friends – to get a different perspective.
The “Dissolution of the Monasteries” had me howling.
Yeah. That historical tableau, "most spectacularly, the Dissolution of the Monasteries", has made my day and it's only 7:47am.
But bloody hell, those lyrics...! 2 marks ain't enough.
More like 2 shillings & 2 p
Chuck3's face upon a tuppence
(Discounted from a thruppence)
Roy sez royals are now willing
To indulge unseemly shilling
Now Roy will get comeuppance
How about a ruble for your troubles?
Now we're getting somewhere!
London calling! Yearning for yuan while still in mourning, Hong Kong gone, bang a gong, sing that song!
Maybe someone can come up with something to the tune of "I've Got Spurs." There's a Western tie-in with the whole knights in armor bullshit. Perform it in a Ronald Reagan mask and I think we have a winner.
(*new pence, after decimalisation) /montypython
A new Pence is not presently called for, m'thinks. One Pence is more than enough for now.
No busking! Do not tip the performers!
Roy, they also cancelled long scheduled surgeries that can't be rescheduled again for months, because covid was not fucking up the hospitals enough.
"But doctors have to queue for the black box, too, and a single chemo treatment isn't life or death, you know."
Oof.
Marks were German money, so they make sense for the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha
Woulda said Marks & Spencer, but then I remembered...
" if the President, the Pope, and your dog all died on the same day"
Heck, a fella could get a pretty good Country & Western song outa all that stuff.
Now wait, wait...which president and which Pope?
This is pretty important information, though since I don't have a dog, I'd probably be okay with all of them.
Any president whose funeral parade does the whole boots backwards in the stirrups nonsense. I myself am holding out for having my body unceremoniously dumped at a really busy farmers' market, eyes wide open, preferably in front of a kettle corn vendor.
A British friend, stuck in a cab in stand-still traffic in London during the Diana-is-dead madness period, said something like "All this for a barmy half-wit clothes-horse." Cabby tossed him out.
My hatred of the monarchy is at war with my love of assertive cabbies on this one.
It reminds me of The Big Lebowski and the cab driver who loved the Eagles. It could be a running gag. We reserve the right!
Damn, this almost enough to make her my queen after all.
Of course, if we were in Merry Olde, we’d all be busted for this...
Treason comes easy when you're quoting Roy in Merry Olde Angleterre.
I'll be honest , a little bit of royalty goes a long way for me. I'm pretty fond of that Shakespeare stuff but once you get to the point where they quit sword fighting and beheading one another I lose interest real quick.
So I opened up this morning's
REBID, figure out the topic and think to myself "Well, it's not like he could ignore it." I dive right in though because Roy on a topic I'm not particularly excited about will , for sure, be better than anything else I could read today.
Boy was I ever wrong! This shit is hilarious. I lost it at
"And he’s married to a sooty"
Bravo Excellent well done!
" His wife will shag you for two ales"
Oh Jesus
"Sword fighting," eh? Yup, that's what we'll call it...
Once Shakespeare died, I think we could say any value that the monarchy had for the arts was thoroughly exhausted, it's been a case of diminishing returns on the investment ever since.
Confession:
My people toddled 'cross the pond only about 30 years removed from Shakespeare. So I got a slightly softened spot (sorta like a boil) in my heart for the olde place and its inhabitants. In my opinion the main contribution of the royals has been to foment millions of good-to-great folk songs (composed by great folk), and yeah, a few choice bits from the Bard of Avon Calling...
My earliest ancestors in America came over on the Mayflower and then a couple of first cousins married each other and had kids, eventually leading to me. This likely explains much about my family
My family too, on all accounts. They settled in your area originally. Hoping we're not related, because I wouldn't wish that on a friend.
It might have to do with the ebbing of royalty as the focus of cultural power & fascination in England as the bourgeoisie increased in influence & wealth -- hence, Webster's revenge tragedies, Fletcher's "Knight of the Burning Pestle," "The Tragedie of Mariam," or Ben Jonson's comedies.
Knight of the Burning Pestle!
I got nuthin'...
"Ooooh, baby, be the mortar to my pestle" is porn dialogue from the 15th century.
"Why does it hurt when I pee?" -- Frank Zappa
If you dislike sword fighting and beheading, I suggest you avoid The Spanish Tragedy. If you’re open to it though, whomst among us doesn’t love ghosts and revenge and poison and a protagonist biting out his tongue so he can’t be tortured to confess, and hurling it down on stage?
You mean the play titled...
MACBETH?
Not The Scottish Play!
"Here's looking at you, Kyd"
Aces.
"We'll always have Madrid".
Yo monk, are u suggesting that for me? Just tryinta be clear, since it can be hard to see how the replies stack after a minute.
I lost track myself!
I had no idea cheap brew had such power among the royals. Oh, to be young again! Now I know why a young colleague expatriated to London.
I exspect that unneeded-but-classic old school exstra S in these English words derived from Latin
Is there extra credit if the 's's look like 'f's?
Maybe if you ʃuck...
If I were in purʃuit of happineʃʃ, maybe...
Hey! It works either way you read it! Amazing!
It's like "Donald Trump is a ra__ist."
I hate how funny I found this to be.
Coincidentally, I've avoided Steve's unfinished wordplay for just the reason you raised (except for the funny part – I always admire bad humor that works). Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah – inducing people to hate themselves for laughing...hmm...I've often felt...soiled...by my propensity to laugh at/with Frankie Boyle, f'rinstance, and it does not help that he looks exactly like my late brother...
Why are you integrating uck?
THUMP THUMP THUMP
"Charles, I know you're out there. I can hear you wheezing. Open this thing and let me out. We are not amused! Knock off this foolishness and let me out this instant. Charles!!"
Fret not – Scobie gonna jab a pin in her.
"I'm not dead!" THUMP
Chuck3's long-standing/waiting might be a new record (can't be bothered to look) but long-standing notwithstanding, he'll be upstanding and grandstanding with the best of them.
I'm going to have to update my nickname library. I saw "Chuck3" and immediately thought of Trader Joe's wine, formerly Two Buck Chuck, now Three Buck Chuck. And while perusing the topic, I discovered that Fred Franzia (who originated Two Buck Chuck), died today at age 79, while the three mile Queue is underway. Coincidence, I'm sure.
I shall have to purchase a box of wine in his memory.
Chuck3, Three Buck Chuck and Fred Franzia are the Triad.
Sheer brilliance! Your "entertainments" are hilarious. I think the Tories are missing out on a great money-making opportunity, though. With a miles-long queue of people wanting to "pay their respects" why not charge a pound or two per "respect" along the way? "Respects" could be in the form of feathered hats and ribboned leg bells and such-like, transforming the huge crowd into the longest line of Morris dancers ever, maybe even setting a Guiness record and earning enough money to re-open a library somewhere for a few weeks. Hey, it makes just as much sense as having a royal family!
"earning enough money to re-open a library somewhere for a few weeks..." boy, if they get used to that!
What does that get you, a lazy, discontented rabble instead of a thrifty working class.
Well sure – the more you read, the less contented you are.
You wanna know what's weird? I'll tell you what's weird:
• Most of Canada is Crown land.
• The Canadian military's Governor General serves at the whim of the monarchy.
• Canadians' been pretty much all in on the mournful front this past week, according to my source.
Not the disabled and chronically ill. Nor the First Nations people. I'm getting plenty of brilliant snark from them.
Brilliant Snark should be a Snarky Puppy cover band name.
And let's face it, we count on the disabled and chronically ill and the First Nations people for snark, brilliant or otherwise. Some of my snarkiest friends, etc...
I gather there might be kiosks along the queue that allow you to buy flowers for the corpse?
Me, I prefer a corpse flower. THAT would disperse those crowds...
If the queue is two days long the flowers you brought would wilt.
I think they get delivered to to memorial or something. Which sounds like an excellent scam. You're not gonna spot your flowers there, how do you know they were delivered at all?
In my experience as an American morris dancer, money raised by morris dancing goes exclusively to purchase beer and pizza.
God help me, I love Morris Dancers. And yes, true.
So, it ain't all beer 'n skittles, then?
You had me at “THE ONLY LAW IS BONAR LAW” but when Cilla Black officially became a popular British attraction I thoroughly plotzed. God Save us from (the now Independent) Jeremy Corbyn! (To be fair, for about ten minutes I supported him while he was my MP for Islington North.) Your Tesco gift card is in the post.
Every little helps!
King Charles III channeling King Henry VIII — that olde-tyme Monarchy!
Also, reading REBID is not for the intellectually lazy, but thankfully, Google assists slothful students such as myself in researching the obscure references with which Edroso lards his substack epistles. The Latin took a while to find (comparatively speaking — 5-10 minutes, a loooong time for an incurious mental slug-a-bed like me) but Cilla Black came up right away! All 5 of her name, even.
I gotta go back to bed.
This is cross-listed on Coursera, right? I'm not doin' all this work for nothin'.
For instant translations, if your browser can use javascript applets, make the following a bookmark, and then call it on some selected text, like Roy's Latin quote:
javascript:q=getSelection();(function(){window.open('http://translate.google.com/#auto|en|'+q);%20})();
I spent part of last night copying alt-text into google translate to see if a guy who makes wooden animals was really telling a story about the capybaras dying together from some disaster. He did. I used the little huggy heart emoji and suggested I was charmed by this.
The French are laughing at me, because they think I didn't get the "they died" part. Yeah, I got that, but hell, I use that emoji on slime molds and whips scorpions too. You have no idea what kind of weird shit I find charming as hell.
They died *together*. After making up from a fight. How is that *not* charming?
John Donne originally used Death be not charming as the opening line in his Sonnet #10 but then changed it for meter purposes
Very disappointed in the conspiracy theorists over on this side of the pond that "Queen not dead, working as convenience-store clerk in rural Tennessee" is not already on my internet.
Later: "Queen not dead, will be sharing VP slot with JFK Junior."
Had she died in even remotely mysterious circumstances instead of boring, very old age I'm sure these theories would be flourishing. But unmistakably, Lizzie's in a box, in a box.
Oh, Qanon is firmly convinced she died of the COVID vaccination.
Not the 5G?
Funny thing is, she probably died from covid aftereffects.
Yes, for some values of "funny."
There's a dame down the chip shop swears she's the Queen
If they’re resurrecting (pun intended) living tableaux, I hope they’ve recruited guilds to present medieval mystery plays. Kids today don’t even learn about the York Play of the Crucifixion or The Second Shepherds’ Play in school these days. Harrumph!
What about:
A penny loaf to feed ol'Pope,
A farthing cheese to choke him.
A pint of beer to rinse it down,
A faggot of sticks to burn him.
Burn him in a tub of tar,'
Burn him like a blazing star.
Burn his body from his head,
Then we'll say: ol'Pope is dead.
Do I _really_ want to be a teacher with a class full of American junior high boys covering the history of the Conservative Party during the days of Bonar Law?
(I learned so much by reading the Wikipedia article in Asquith and folliwing every single link…and not just that Helena Bonham-Carter's a descendant.)
Peter Bonerz was pretty good in The Bob Newhart Show.
There is a singer/songwriter from Rapid City named Haley Bonar.
My college football coach was Gary Boner.
The Replacements did a song called Gary's Got a Boner
…and they all thought that laughing at this:
https://darkknightnews.com/2015/10/05/dkn-remembers-the-jokers-boner/
…were quite immature—_I_ sure do, repeatedly (laugh _and_ think it's immature to do).