See, people don't know because of the liberal fake news that once you get a Noble Prize then you are a noble, and that's why Obummmer acted like he was our king, and why our Orange Savior must receive one, because it's the only way he can be made a king now that the Pope is bad.
Just brilliant. I can see the infomercial for this now....
"Hello, I'm Donald Trump, your favorite president who ever lived. Right now, you and your family have an exciting opportunity to join a breakthrough new sales program from Trump Educational Industries. Make your own history with some truly incredible earning potential. When you sign up to sell Trump Patriotic Educational Modules, and even better, recruit patriotic members of your family, friends, and neighbors to join our program, you can make big money, and I mean BIG. The market for this stuff is HUGE. I oughta know, and the electoral college agrees with me. I'm gonna tell the postmaster to rush your sign-up kit special delivery on White House stationery. Just put a check next to my name, Donald J. Trump, on the form marked "Presidential Ballot", and you're in! Soon you'll be on your way to achieving your new Great American Dream."
Wait till our "patriotic propaganda" gets to the Civil War. Lincoln good (Republican), South good (base), Grant bad (war monger), Lee good (history!), slavery bad (duh), abolitionists (bad), Sherman bad (Atlanta), Booth bad? good?. Put it all together and you get:
Once upon a time the South was good and would have gotten rid of slavery but abolitionists forced it to declare war and General Lee had to defend it against Grant and Sherman who killed and burned and Booth was so distraught by the destruction of Atlanta he had to shoot Lincoln and it was all the Democrats fault.
OK, I admit it, I copied this from a Texas Board of Education approved eighth grade history textbook.
"You think slavery was bad? Well the liberals are condescending!" just about sums up all of reactionary politics since 1950. Today's column is full of gems, it's got to be in the all-time REBIT top 10.
Incidentally I heard that Crispus Attucks was the first victim of law enforcement justifying excessive force (Red Lives Matter, I guess?). One of the so-called white patriots (I'll have to look up who) defended the British soldiers in court and argued that Attucks killed himself. Wild. (I'll try to look up specifics...)
A gem, littered with landmines of laughter that detonate in every paragraph. But for some reason what really got me was the image of William Barr as a Colonial judge; maybe because I just can't help thinking he'd look like a depressed Michigan J. Frog in a periwig.
Nice, although it may be a little too accurate.
Nothing says FREEDOM!!!11! like government-imposed education and government censorship of "nonpatriotic materials."
By the way, I hear the chocolate ration has doubled yet again!
It has? Thank our great president, Donald John Trump. We should go steal Obummer's Noble Prize and give it to him!
See, people don't know because of the liberal fake news that once you get a Noble Prize then you are a noble, and that's why Obummmer acted like he was our king, and why our Orange Savior must receive one, because it's the only way he can be made a king now that the Pope is bad.
The chrism is in Oslo is what I'm saying
Praise Big Brother!
Oh, wow! Awesome!
My breath was taken.
"Make America" was where I started laughing and woke up the cat. So worth it.
Picturing a jury in red tricorns....
And to think there are people who complain Trump is beyond parody. Sheer genius, Roy.
Filmstrips, and nobody's gonna get paid.
With all the words misspelled!
I remember that "advance the slide" xylophone plunk, and how we used to fight over who'd be chosen to turn the knob.
This makes me want to go watch Why Study Industrial Arts and also Speech (the MST3K versions).
Just brilliant. I can see the infomercial for this now....
"Hello, I'm Donald Trump, your favorite president who ever lived. Right now, you and your family have an exciting opportunity to join a breakthrough new sales program from Trump Educational Industries. Make your own history with some truly incredible earning potential. When you sign up to sell Trump Patriotic Educational Modules, and even better, recruit patriotic members of your family, friends, and neighbors to join our program, you can make big money, and I mean BIG. The market for this stuff is HUGE. I oughta know, and the electoral college agrees with me. I'm gonna tell the postmaster to rush your sign-up kit special delivery on White House stationery. Just put a check next to my name, Donald J. Trump, on the form marked "Presidential Ballot", and you're in! Soon you'll be on your way to achieving your new Great American Dream."
on the form marked "Presidential Ballot" lol
Wait till our "patriotic propaganda" gets to the Civil War. Lincoln good (Republican), South good (base), Grant bad (war monger), Lee good (history!), slavery bad (duh), abolitionists (bad), Sherman bad (Atlanta), Booth bad? good?. Put it all together and you get:
Once upon a time the South was good and would have gotten rid of slavery but abolitionists forced it to declare war and General Lee had to defend it against Grant and Sherman who killed and burned and Booth was so distraught by the destruction of Atlanta he had to shoot Lincoln and it was all the Democrats fault.
OK, I admit it, I copied this from a Texas Board of Education approved eighth grade history textbook.
Texas School Book Depository: Assassinating American History Since 1963
No shit? <eyebrows raised way the hell up>
Great now I have Cotton Eyed Joe stuck in my head. Thanks heaps Edroso!
"the Mexican Alexander Hamilton" is the cherry on top of the sublime sundae.
"You think slavery was bad? Well the liberals are condescending!" just about sums up all of reactionary politics since 1950. Today's column is full of gems, it's got to be in the all-time REBIT top 10.
Conservatives: Taxes are worse than slavery!
Wearing a face mask is worse than slavery!
Staying home from work is worse than slavery!
Actual slavery? Eh, not so bad.
"Wage slavery"? Just a sign of God's treasury of grace. Praise!
Dinesh D'Souza is going to steal this
Truly, it's better than anything he's ever done.
Which is why it will be obvious he stole it.
Yep. The subtlety of the writing here is way beyond anything D'Felon can produce, and he knows it.
For the first time in a long time, I legitimately laughed out loud at political humor. This is what got me:
"MILLER: Mr. Clarke, you are street smart. Can you teach us your black ways to fight the English?"
Oh, and "MAKE AMERICA," too.
14/10. Would guffaw again.
Now that's fake news I can get behind!
Incidentally I heard that Crispus Attucks was the first victim of law enforcement justifying excessive force (Red Lives Matter, I guess?). One of the so-called white patriots (I'll have to look up who) defended the British soldiers in court and argued that Attucks killed himself. Wild. (I'll try to look up specifics...)
The British defender in court was 2nd President and Alien and Sedition Act mover, John Adams
A gem, littered with landmines of laughter that detonate in every paragraph. But for some reason what really got me was the image of William Barr as a Colonial judge; maybe because I just can't help thinking he'd look like a depressed Michigan J. Frog in a periwig.