79 Comments
Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Love the ‘70s touches, it’s just like a rerun of Mannix, only with morons.

I’m not saying it’s a solution to chronic stupidity or entrenched racism, but maybe if the MAGA goons simply jerked off more, they’d at least be less irritable.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

I think many of them are rubbed raw to begin with.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Ba dum, tsh!

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"That's Boy's not Proud, he just needs lube..."

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Oh, you...!

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Mar 20, 2023·edited Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Mannix! I was having all sorts of flashbacks reading this. I also thought of the A-Team, which is early 80s. It’s sort of like the A-Team only without the believable premise and lucid plots.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

And without the likeable protagonists.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

The wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: “I pity the fool.”

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I got more of a "Mod Squad" vibe….

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Solid, man.

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Yes, this is what the Mod Squad looks like when you take out all the diversity.

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Don't be so woke!: this quartet has louts, jerks, _and_ creeps.

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They don't even want *themselves*; "jerk off more" is a solution looking for a problem.

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THE PROUD BOYS! In color! A Quinn Martin production!

Guest Star D'Urville Martin as The Black Guy Who Trips Over Chair.

Tonight's story: The Trump Card Is Murder!

Brought to you by Goya Foods!

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The Buck Never Stops!

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“I see roles for Clu Gulager and Ben Murphy in this episode…”

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Apparently the PBs are talking about making a human moat around Disgraceland so the authorities can't take Trump away. What's a human moat? Don't ask because they don't know either.

But Trump himself is focused on the most important thing--raising money from his followers. Some accounts I recall say he raised more than $100 million last year for his "legal defense fund." I'm sure every dime he collects goes straight into his pocket. What are his lawyers gonna do? Sue him from jail (since that's where most of them end up)?

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Representing Trump must be like practicing criminal law in Bizarro World. It's the lawyers who wind up inside while the client walks free

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Please, no one tell the human moat about these things we got called "helicopters."

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It’s not a moat unless it’s well-stocked with alligators. They’ve got lotsa those in Florida. Proceed, Proud Boys!

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Mar 20, 2023·edited Mar 20, 2023

What is it? It is very much like an human sewer.

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MAGA = Making Attorneys Get Attorneys

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Mar 20, 2023·edited Mar 20, 2023

My Attorneys Get Arrested

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This all sounds like job security for attorneys' attorneys.

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Wouldn’t that be a human berm? Oh forget it Jake; it’s MAGAtown.

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Dammit!

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Hopefully they'll find out the hard way where all that money they insist on going to Deputy Dan goes.

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We Were Promised Jetpacks; We Got Armored Personnel Carriers Instead

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Now do the Proud Boys attempt CPR after Trump suffers cardiac arrest. “You do the mouth-to-mouth!” “No, you do the mouth-to-mouth!” “Why couldn’t this be Ivanka?”

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

I dunno, a lot of the Proud Boys have the Armored Closeted Gay vibe...

Of course, kissing cheeto Jesus is a bridge too far for most.

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I had a supreme moment of revulsion when I realized that there was no visual difference between a Proud Boy and an average patron of the Eagle (or the Bike Stop here in Philly). Both hate women, femmes, & trans people about equally as well, I'd reckon.

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Mar 20, 2023·edited Mar 20, 2023

Well, the Eagle in ATL is long gone: but honestly, I don't think all those guys were hostile to women, femmes, & trans people about equally: many, admittedly, didn't see them as potential sex partners, if they thought of 'em at all.

In my experience, the Leather Crowd reserves hate for each other, mostly.

It's admittedly limited and anectdotal: but they served drag queen and women, and were usually treating the femmes as "new meat"..

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Wait. Are we still talkin' 'bout fern bars? 'Cause I thought that was over...

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Like Jordan Peterson with an intersex person: "I have NO IDEA what to DO with you!"

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Well, Jordan, you could try doing what I do to you: IGNORE.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

LOL is right. Looks like he deleted the tweet.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

MSNBC has been in full-on-freakout since it went up, apparently they forgot he's a pathological liar?

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

I've never heard of him. He does not appear to merit a Wikipedia page, and Google is cluttered with namesakes. Want to give me the nickel tour? TIA.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Sorry, I got confused about what "he" meant, I was thinking Trump, who we all know is a pathological liar, as for the jamoke who put up the tweet Roy showcased, I got no clue.

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No prob. Thanks for letting me know.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

MNSBC employs all kinds of awful Republicans who are Good Now Actually, so you’d think they’d know “pathological liar” was the default.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

I count on Roy's followers for this sort of info, just to backstop my reasons for ditching my electronic tv machine 30 years ago...

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

The funniest thing about this Nervous Nellie's tweet is there isn't a liberal with blood in their veins who wouldn't relish the prospect of a bunch of commando-cosplaying Proud Boys trying to bumrush Manhattan Criminal Court.

Fuck around and find out doesn't even begin to cover it, more like a suicide mission. They could save themselves the expense of travel and hassles with Metrocard, stay closer to home, and just lie down in front of a steamroller instead, lol.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

You got a newsletter or somethin' I can subscribe to?

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

My guess is that there are plenty of cops on the NYC payroll who are sympathetic to the cause, but I also think every cop in the country watched that video of the Capitol Police getting beaten and humiliated and thought, "Not gonna let that happen to me, pal."

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Absolutely. Political sympathy won’t matter here. As you said, they saw what happened to the Capitol police, tribal instincts of Us against Them are powerful in cops, and they don’t plan to get whooped by some wannabe hard boys. Plus, NYPD really loves to crack heads.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Safe bets all 'round.

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Mar 20, 2023·edited Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

I guess in his reality, we're supposed to let T-Rump break any law for fear his nazi supporters might cause a fuss if he were punished for it? Can't see how that would be a problem.

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You know, they COULD just jump the turnstiles.

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author

No cop you hop!

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

This has the ring of truth, particularly the after scenes at the hotel.

And the good news is yesterday, Proud Boys fucked around and found out that New Yorkers will punch Nazis:

https://www.joemygod.com/2023/03/proud-boys-bloodied-at-nyc-drag-protest-video/

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Best part of that footage is as they're walking away, they can't find the subway station and one complains "aren't the cops supposed to have Metrocards for us?"

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Don't start none won't be none, Big Apple style. If the PB were looking for fellow MAGAts they should have headed over to Staten Island.

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That was another priceless moment, the PBs are bloodied, reeling, retreating -- and a voice in the crowd shouts "Go the fuck back to Long Island!"

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Bridge and Tunnel Proud Boys, lmao

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

2 marks.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Talk Shit, Get Hit Example 63,494

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I was waiting for them to ask the audience to clap their hands so Spyder

could magically be set free..

I see pictures of these proud boys and I think - If you take away their masturbation, what do they have left?

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

I want the Roy Edroso Theater Experience, with a rotating bill of your finest one-acts. I will pay any price!

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

And I will bear any burden! (Well, depending on the burden, I may need to make two trips.)

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

You try it in one trip I call out "Lazy Man's Load!"

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Well, at least Mushmouse got to sleep in a bed.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Exactly. 3 squares and a cot. But his buds are rackin up a significant room fee to offset it.

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Mar 20, 2023·edited Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

I have to say, The Young Rebels looks like a helluva good time, my first thought was "Mark Hamill?" when they showed the blond guy, til the actor's name came up onscreen. And Louis Gosset Jr.! Now THAT'S how you do Revolutionary-war cosplay!

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Do the people lamenting Isaiah Hartenstein’s NBA woes at the hands of the Woke Racist Knicks know that his father is Black?

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Please make this movie. It's time we get some popular culture mocking of this f*cking clownshow. And don't forget the finale where NYC law enforcement scoops them all up with a giant kitty litter-scooper device that deposits the stupid turds into prison.

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I was waiting for the Dr. Who scarf to get accidentally pulled off by a passing lesbian on a Citibike, but I see how that would have screwed with the plot, so never mind.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Non, no...I think you're onto something. Just change it to a Where's Waldo scarf and score big with the residuals.

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author

We can workshop it

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Just thinking now of the brave American Truck Convoy and how they passed on going into darkest D.C. because a trio of lil' college girls in an Audi or something gave one of them the finger.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

Yeah. Once they found themselves stuck in the traffic jam behind The Lone Cyclist they knew they were beat.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

I was thinking more Isadora Duncan and the scarf

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

One of the Great Deaths.

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Mushmouse and the Beagle Boys! Those are some deep cuts, Roy. I would pay serious money to see this in an off-off-off Broadway experimental theater.

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Mar 20, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso

This is what I always think of when I hear "Proud Boys": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bvU5Vl0H-M

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Masterful, Roy. Just perfect. Thanks.

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MUSHMOUSE: Yeah! Like Sarah Palin!

HEDGEHOG: Who?

I have to admit, I LOL'd on that.

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Tarantino ain't got nothing on you, my man.

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