Race to Beneath the Bottom

CatTurd2 imitates REBID's "Hardcore"

You must be familiar with CatTurd, specifically @CatTurd2, one of the top commentators of the current conservative movement, which is to say a moron who somehow elbowed his way to the front of the thick, howling pack of rightwing podcasters, influencers, and other modern cognomens for what in my day were called publicity hounds, and rode a wave of dumbass attention and approbation to millions of followers.

The apparently elderly Florida Panhandle resident behind that account has been profiled in Rolling Stone and appears to haunt the reveries of Elon Musk, who responds to his dumb tweets like a mob boss’ flunky in a 40s B-picture. (Just kidding — it is obvious that Musk could not serve another human being with convincing humility even at gunpoint, and only plays CatTurd2’s dutiful dogsbody to convince his own incel army, for whom he need not even make it look good, that he is attuned to the needs of his constituents, all other evidence to the contrary.)

Anyway this guy found his way into my field of vision yesterday via one of those periodic forced sewage blasts that is Twitter’s capriciously-delivered “For You” feed. He was addressing the SVB bailout. Now, I expect most of you are lefty enough that you have read or heard or even dispensed yourself some dudgeon about this latest tongue-frottage of the rich and irresponsible who every so often greed-fart a bank ass over tip and then stand by insolently with their hands on their hips, waiting for Uncle Sam to make good. Which Uncle Sam always does, because the miscreants are rich fucks and not, say, red-state Medicaid captives or student loan indentured servants.

And I also expect you have seen rightwingers claiming the bank failed because it is “woke” ha ha:

Aaron Rupar @atrupar

"They were one of the most woke banks" -- James Comer on SVB Bank

The New York Post, for example, yammered that SVB had a “top executive” who is a chick and dark-skinned (AND “QUEER”!) and she “pushed ‘woke’ programs” — notwithstanding the woman in question, Jay Ersapah, is in charge of financial risk management at SVB’s UK branch, which did not crash.

New York Post @nypost

While Silicon Valley Bank collapsed, top executive pushed ‘woke’ programs trib.al/ZR1laLj

But try telling that to the brethren:

Anyway, I would have expected CatTurd2 to get on that bandwagon, too, but I underestimated him — he went in an entirely different direction, referring instead to the libtard conspiracy to “scare everyone with bank accounts into government digital currency so they can control every aspect of your lives”:

Catturd ™ @catturd2

Just so you know ... this is the part where they try to scare everyone with bank accounts into government digital currency so they can control every aspect of your lives. Plandemic COVID cult 2.0.

You may recognize this particular conspiracy theory from when I brought it up in my July 26, 2022 “hardcore” dispatch (one of my posts about the tawdry wingnut sites to which junk email scammers send your senile relatives). Here are some clips from my description of “Biden Orders US Dollar Replaced with Trackable ‘Spyware’ Version” from Keep America Great News:

This one links to a video of the waxy Jim Rickards, perennial financial network talking head and author of The Death of Money: The Coming Collapse of the International Monetary System (published in… 2014; well, better late than never!), asking, over spooky music and ominous images, “Where were you on March 9, 2022 when President Biden signed the death warrant on American freedom?” Turns out he’s talking about Executive Order 14067, which charges DOJ with investigation of digital assets — that is, crypto, which is very clearly a rat’s nest of fraud and needs monitoring.

Rickards doesn’t see it that way, of course; the EO, he says, [is] “the most treacherous act by a sitting president in the history of our republic” because it will call down “legal government surveillance of all U.S. citizens”…

Rickards announces it is “my duty to pull the alarm” because thanks to Biden’s treason “the U.S. dollar will be made obsolete… your cash will be confiscated or will simply be worthless paper”…

“Every digital dollar will be programmed by the government,” Rickards claims. “That means they will be able to ‘turn on’ or ‘turn off’ your money at will”…

Yep — it’s the same Money Matrix paranoid delusion CatTurd2 is selling.

Or is he buying? From further down in my exegesis:

Inevitably, the pitch: “Asset Emancipation.” (Sounds like a grifter’s inside joke, doesn’t it?) But you have to “act now.” If you do, you’ll get the prospectus “FREE… And be in a position of power compared to others who don’t have your knowledge.” If Gramps got this far and can remember his PIN number, it’s a cinch Rickards will make a sale. It’s amazing what you can accomplish in this country if you haven’t got a conscience.

Maybe CatTurd2 got roped so deep into Rickards’ scam that he lost all his money —analog and digital money! — and in order to get out he’s been obliged (as scam victims often are) to work his captors’ long con for it, luring the suckers with a jaunty rightwing social media presence and then, when the punters’ already-soft brains have been pureed to utter mush, dropping the Money Matrix mishigas on them and waiting for the coin to roll in.

CatTurd2 wouldn’t be the first Florida senior citizen to get roped into a conspiracy to defraud. Hell, one such is now a U.S. Senator! And, who knows — the way that sorry state is going, so may CatTurd2 be, before we finally get Bugs Bunny to saw America’s Wang off for real.