I think our conservative brethren's overreaction to the hallucination of a beef ban flows from their need to eat copious amounts of beef to balance the copious, unhealthy amounts of bullshit and horseshit and, yes, sure, chickenshit they gladly gorge on.
If one's sex life consists of gooning to "bbc cuckold ladyboy" porn all night while your church-recognized spousal unit is sleeping, then yes, reducing sex would help carbon emissions.
My own theory is even the yahoos who lap up this bullshit don’t believe it (People are only allowed to consume four pounds of meat a year? How would such a thing be enforced even if it were proposed?). But they are so addicted to their outrage response they need that hit of fury or they start to get antsy. What a great money maker for all those conservative outlets -- millions of Americans scrolling away, looking for their next hit. Ka-ching!
Meanwhile, Republicans want to ban abortion. And ban contraception. And ban kinds of sex they don't approve of (as in men having sexytimes with other men--but, ya know, some of that lesbian thing is okay, except the bull dykes which, yuck!). And ban sex with children, except for those underage girls that pillars of the Moral Right like Matt Gaetz and Roy Moore find so Lolita-seductive and why should age of consent be a thing anyway? And ban sex toys.
But, you know, it's DEMOCRATS who want to ban sex. Which is only natural because those Democrats are all sexual libertines anyway, and all their pie-wagon women are always doing the ficky-fick with anyone and everyone except ME!
David Brooks: Abstinence has a long and honorable history, from Jesus to St Augustine to Ben Shapiro, but that is of the voluntary persuasion. Imposing abstinence is the bridge too far for the Democrats and the signal that the time is right for the party of personal responsibility, however much wounded by the previous president, to retake its rightful position as the beacon of morality it has been and will be.
Thomas Friedman: I hopped into a cab in Manhattan to visit the Cloisters. The cabbie, a gruff immigrant from Pakistan, complained about the cost of his taxi medallion and then cursed the Democrats. “I immigrated here to escape the sexual repression of Pakistan’s Islamic culture. Now I face the same thing here? I thought the Evangelicals might do this, but not the party of Cuomo!”
Jerry Falwell, Jr.: God doesn’t give us any burden we can’t carry, but the Satanic Democrats certainly do!
Dang, Roy. I was working on a bit where the angryfolks didn’t object to the part of the climate change plan that restricted sex...BECAUSE THEY DON’T SEX. The silliness passed too quickly for me to get it into shape. Glad you found a way to satirize it.
Don't it always seem to go, you don't know what you got until someone tells you the Dems want to take it away? I had no idea how much I missed not having certain things I already didn't have, and not doing things I wasn't doing, until I heard I wasn't going to be allowed to do it anymore, or have it.
I mean, someone's got to do it! All those things. Even if most of us are too busy trying to make a living and don't have time or energy for much else. If only I could afford all those guns and a decent piece of meat now and then. I guess I'll just have to go on not bathing regular and littering with fierce conviction.
These fucking people. How does this not just get insulting after a while? "Hello, fellow alt-right firebrands, we think so little of your intelligence that we've decided to just tell you Biden, who stands no chance in hell of getting a bankruptcy bill past this opposition party that's even just marginally better than his last one, is going to ban all the farms, declare cows illegal, mandate tofu in all school lunches, and outlaw bacon. Yes, that's right, he will outlaw bacon, the only thing your generation likes better than video games. Send us money."
Hilarious. Remember Matt Couch, the guy who posted the pic of a 72 oz. steak as "My officially response" to Biden's anti-meat proposal? You really don't want to see what he posted as his "officially response" to this one. Suffice to say, the bottle of Michelob is still there, just not completely in frame.
This makes me remember the claim that phishers and 419 scammers _intentionally_ use bad grammar and spelling to try to make sure that people who believe them (or can bear making it to the end of the message) are not the best educated flock of potential customers.
(What's the collective for scammers? Not a 'murder', a 'larcen'?)
Wasn’t Biden supposed to have killed God by now? It’s been a hundred days, he really needs to pick up the pace!
I think our conservative brethren's overreaction to the hallucination of a beef ban flows from their need to eat copious amounts of beef to balance the copious, unhealthy amounts of bullshit and horseshit and, yes, sure, chickenshit they gladly gorge on.
Or maybe I'm wrong on this.
If one's sex life consists of gooning to "bbc cuckold ladyboy" porn all night while your church-recognized spousal unit is sleeping, then yes, reducing sex would help carbon emissions.
Not just nocturnal carbon emissions either.
My own theory is even the yahoos who lap up this bullshit don’t believe it (People are only allowed to consume four pounds of meat a year? How would such a thing be enforced even if it were proposed?). But they are so addicted to their outrage response they need that hit of fury or they start to get antsy. What a great money maker for all those conservative outlets -- millions of Americans scrolling away, looking for their next hit. Ka-ching!
DEMOCRATS WANT TO BAN SEX!!!!111!!!!!
Meanwhile, Republicans want to ban abortion. And ban contraception. And ban kinds of sex they don't approve of (as in men having sexytimes with other men--but, ya know, some of that lesbian thing is okay, except the bull dykes which, yuck!). And ban sex with children, except for those underage girls that pillars of the Moral Right like Matt Gaetz and Roy Moore find so Lolita-seductive and why should age of consent be a thing anyway? And ban sex toys.
But, you know, it's DEMOCRATS who want to ban sex. Which is only natural because those Democrats are all sexual libertines anyway, and all their pie-wagon women are always doing the ficky-fick with anyone and everyone except ME!
David Brooks: Abstinence has a long and honorable history, from Jesus to St Augustine to Ben Shapiro, but that is of the voluntary persuasion. Imposing abstinence is the bridge too far for the Democrats and the signal that the time is right for the party of personal responsibility, however much wounded by the previous president, to retake its rightful position as the beacon of morality it has been and will be.
Thomas Friedman: I hopped into a cab in Manhattan to visit the Cloisters. The cabbie, a gruff immigrant from Pakistan, complained about the cost of his taxi medallion and then cursed the Democrats. “I immigrated here to escape the sexual repression of Pakistan’s Islamic culture. Now I face the same thing here? I thought the Evangelicals might do this, but not the party of Cuomo!”
Jerry Falwell, Jr.: God doesn’t give us any burden we can’t carry, but the Satanic Democrats certainly do!
What "could" happen is a perennial. Be afraid! And send me your money!
"the Biden plan would require a 92% reduction in sexual activity."
Mrs.Shapiro breathes a sigh of relief and yet again considers her decision to vote for Biden a wise one.
Dang, Roy. I was working on a bit where the angryfolks didn’t object to the part of the climate change plan that restricted sex...BECAUSE THEY DON’T SEX. The silliness passed too quickly for me to get it into shape. Glad you found a way to satirize it.
Don't it always seem to go, you don't know what you got until someone tells you the Dems want to take it away? I had no idea how much I missed not having certain things I already didn't have, and not doing things I wasn't doing, until I heard I wasn't going to be allowed to do it anymore, or have it.
I mean, someone's got to do it! All those things. Even if most of us are too busy trying to make a living and don't have time or energy for much else. If only I could afford all those guns and a decent piece of meat now and then. I guess I'll just have to go on not bathing regular and littering with fierce conviction.
These fucking people. How does this not just get insulting after a while? "Hello, fellow alt-right firebrands, we think so little of your intelligence that we've decided to just tell you Biden, who stands no chance in hell of getting a bankruptcy bill past this opposition party that's even just marginally better than his last one, is going to ban all the farms, declare cows illegal, mandate tofu in all school lunches, and outlaw bacon. Yes, that's right, he will outlaw bacon, the only thing your generation likes better than video games. Send us money."
Great, Roy. This'll be Tucker's lead story tonight now.
Hilarious. Remember Matt Couch, the guy who posted the pic of a 72 oz. steak as "My officially response" to Biden's anti-meat proposal? You really don't want to see what he posted as his "officially response" to this one. Suffice to say, the bottle of Michelob is still there, just not completely in frame.
This makes me remember the claim that phishers and 419 scammers _intentionally_ use bad grammar and spelling to try to make sure that people who believe them (or can bear making it to the end of the message) are not the best educated flock of potential customers.
(What's the collective for scammers? Not a 'murder', a 'larcen'?)
I think it was 25 years ago when I first read "The Stupid! It burns !"
Hilarious!!!