Time to go Debbie Downer: In the context of current times, none of this crap can be hilarious.
OTOH, all their claims are hilarious in their (if I’m using the word correctly) mendacity. If I’m misusing the word, then the imbecility of their beliefs.
More bummering: Whether they believe the bullshit or not is irrelevant -- it’s all performative.
So, like, I find it all funny, but none LOL hilarious, sorry.
Yea, sorry, politics and conspiracy theories are too annoying to deal with this early on a Friday morning. Funny story about Paul Giamatti looking like a regular schlub though. His kid went to the same school as my kid and according to my family I saw him all the time at school events and even chatted with him once, but not a single time did I ever recognize him. That’s one you could do for some future fun Friday: encounters with celebrities. I have a few more funny stories along those lines and I bet others do too.
One of my crazy sister-in-law's married some goob from up in deep Central Ohio farm country. He was a farmer (though not a good one. He mostly survived selling off family land. His wife was a pretty good earner so mostly all he had to do was sit around and bellyache about
how hard he had to work. Sell a parcel every now and then when he wanted a new truck. If he had worked for his money and saved the land he'd be a multi-multi-millionaire by now.)So at some family thing, I was sitting around the garage with all the men in his family, drinking beer. Shooting the shit. One of them starts talking about "Jew bankers"
And "Zionist Occupational Government "shit. This was the early '80s and there was no national organization or major presidential candidate connected with that shit. They went on and on about it. They'd been doing a lot of thinking.
The reason I find it so funny is that none of those people, not a single one knew any Jewish people or maybe have never even run into one. Their local banker with some guy they went to school with named Clyde.
They got divorced. I haven't seen him in 20 years. Somebody told me he got real fat. I bet he voted for Trump.
Crazy rightwing conspiracy theories, you say? What an abundance of riches! Well, I think mine might be a bit mundane compared to captive kiddies under a Washington DC pizzeria or JFK Jr. still being alive, but I am tickled by the amazing appearing then disappearing Migrant Caravans that miraculously materialize around September in every major election year, only to vanish again after the 1st Tuesday in November.
I have no idea what kind of Trojan Horse or Star Trek type hologram or maybe even better, Harry Potter invisibility cloaks are being used by these migrants, that allow tens of thousands of them to advance on the southern border at a snail’s pace, only to evaporate within miles of the finish line. I keep hoping that Fox News will create some kind of equivalent feature to the Santa Clause Tracker, so every night in the lead up to the election they can show the progress: “the unwashed hordes advanced 17 miles today.” Maybe with the ominous musical accompaniment of the theme from the movie Jaws.
I hafta concede, you really can't beat the Return of the Scion for ludicrousness. And here I thought chemtrails was pretty silly (don't you guys know how big the sky is? And how inefficient a dispersal system that would be?).
I'll go with a classic: an underground Democrat child abuse ring personally run by Hillary Clinton in the basement of a pizza joint... THAT DOESN'T HAVE A FUCKING BASEMENT. Insane, hilarious, and bonus points for disregarding the laws of physics.
My favorite Rightwing conspiracy theory is an oldie that's still evolving: Hillary Clinton has blackmail material on EVERY Republican in the country--blackmail material so incredibly damaging that all Republicans will risk everything to protect her.
This theory first came about in the wake of Vince Foster's death. Every conservative KNEW for a fact that Hillary killed Vince (or had him killed) because he was her jilted lover who was going to reveal that Hillary is a lesbian. Sure, there were investigations by the Park Police, the DC Police, the Secret Service, the FBI, not one but TWO Republican special counsels, multiple GOP House committees, a special Senate committee, and untold freelance Rightwingers. And, yes, no evidence was ever found that Hillary killed Vince Foster. But that's only because EVERYONE was in on the coverup!
And, of course, Trump ran on "Lock Her Up!" And every conservative KNOWS that Hillary Clinton committed treason against the United States. Sold our uranium, BENGHAZI!!!, Clinton Foundation, etc. Yet, when Trump became president and thus controlled the DOJ, and Republicans took over Congress and thus had the power to launch countless new investigations, Hillary mysteriously remained free. As one staunch conservative explained it to me, NOBODY would move against her because of the blackmail material she has on EVERYONE. Blackmail material sooooooo bad that they're willing to let a traitor walk!
(I asked the guy who told me this if he felt any compunction about voting for people who have done things so horrific that they would rather sink the country than have their misdeeds come to light. No, he said, because the alternative would be voting for a Democrat.)
I have a fondness for the “contrails are toxic chemicals the gummint is trying to poison us with” conspiracy because during my time in Arizona a lady espousing it got elected in Showlow, a town named after a poker game. Pure Dave Barry level absurdity.
Great idea! I'd read a JFK III novel. I used to love conspiracy theories in the pre-Internet daze. Chick comics, hollow earthers, and UFOs. Ruth Norman's Unarius outfit was a particular favorite. A part of me still loves them, but it's a lot harder to laugh these days.
Sorry, I know this is kinda plain-vanilla compared to some of the truly hilarious shit out there, but did you hear how Obama had a meeting WITH HIS OWN ATTORNEY GENERAL on the tarmac of an airport in Nevada at which all sorts of criming was planned? It's true, I can show you the pictures!
My favorite remains the idea that fluoridated water is a Communist plot. It’s real old-school Bircher stuff, and I was frankly shocked and amazed that when I moved to Pennsylvania seventeen years ago that our community’s water … was still not fluoridated. Because obviously the Commies were just waiting for the good people of central Pennsylvania to have strong, healthy teeth. That’s how they get ya!
This isn’t necessarily political, but some Flat Earther went on the U Tubes to warn us about the Globalists, literally Globalists, who are brainwashing people into believing that the Earth is a globe by putting globes EVERYWHERES! If it weren’t for these meddling Round Earthers we would believe the truth of the geocentric universe.
Yeah, when you put it that way, me too.
Time to go Debbie Downer: In the context of current times, none of this crap can be hilarious.
OTOH, all their claims are hilarious in their (if I’m using the word correctly) mendacity. If I’m misusing the word, then the imbecility of their beliefs.
More bummering: Whether they believe the bullshit or not is irrelevant -- it’s all performative.
So, like, I find it all funny, but none LOL hilarious, sorry.
😢😭
Yea, sorry, politics and conspiracy theories are too annoying to deal with this early on a Friday morning. Funny story about Paul Giamatti looking like a regular schlub though. His kid went to the same school as my kid and according to my family I saw him all the time at school events and even chatted with him once, but not a single time did I ever recognize him. That’s one you could do for some future fun Friday: encounters with celebrities. I have a few more funny stories along those lines and I bet others do too.
I find all of the 5G conspiracy theories hilarious, and so stupid!
One of my crazy sister-in-law's married some goob from up in deep Central Ohio farm country. He was a farmer (though not a good one. He mostly survived selling off family land. His wife was a pretty good earner so mostly all he had to do was sit around and bellyache about
how hard he had to work. Sell a parcel every now and then when he wanted a new truck. If he had worked for his money and saved the land he'd be a multi-multi-millionaire by now.)So at some family thing, I was sitting around the garage with all the men in his family, drinking beer. Shooting the shit. One of them starts talking about "Jew bankers"
And "Zionist Occupational Government "shit. This was the early '80s and there was no national organization or major presidential candidate connected with that shit. They went on and on about it. They'd been doing a lot of thinking.
The reason I find it so funny is that none of those people, not a single one knew any Jewish people or maybe have never even run into one. Their local banker with some guy they went to school with named Clyde.
They got divorced. I haven't seen him in 20 years. Somebody told me he got real fat. I bet he voted for Trump.
Crazy rightwing conspiracy theories, you say? What an abundance of riches! Well, I think mine might be a bit mundane compared to captive kiddies under a Washington DC pizzeria or JFK Jr. still being alive, but I am tickled by the amazing appearing then disappearing Migrant Caravans that miraculously materialize around September in every major election year, only to vanish again after the 1st Tuesday in November.
I have no idea what kind of Trojan Horse or Star Trek type hologram or maybe even better, Harry Potter invisibility cloaks are being used by these migrants, that allow tens of thousands of them to advance on the southern border at a snail’s pace, only to evaporate within miles of the finish line. I keep hoping that Fox News will create some kind of equivalent feature to the Santa Clause Tracker, so every night in the lead up to the election they can show the progress: “the unwashed hordes advanced 17 miles today.” Maybe with the ominous musical accompaniment of the theme from the movie Jaws.
I hafta concede, you really can't beat the Return of the Scion for ludicrousness. And here I thought chemtrails was pretty silly (don't you guys know how big the sky is? And how inefficient a dispersal system that would be?).
For me, nothing beats Jewish Space Lasers!!!!
I'll go with a classic: an underground Democrat child abuse ring personally run by Hillary Clinton in the basement of a pizza joint... THAT DOESN'T HAVE A FUCKING BASEMENT. Insane, hilarious, and bonus points for disregarding the laws of physics.
GIVE THE DUMBER SOME is a tshirt i would buy.
My favorite Rightwing conspiracy theory is an oldie that's still evolving: Hillary Clinton has blackmail material on EVERY Republican in the country--blackmail material so incredibly damaging that all Republicans will risk everything to protect her.
This theory first came about in the wake of Vince Foster's death. Every conservative KNEW for a fact that Hillary killed Vince (or had him killed) because he was her jilted lover who was going to reveal that Hillary is a lesbian. Sure, there were investigations by the Park Police, the DC Police, the Secret Service, the FBI, not one but TWO Republican special counsels, multiple GOP House committees, a special Senate committee, and untold freelance Rightwingers. And, yes, no evidence was ever found that Hillary killed Vince Foster. But that's only because EVERYONE was in on the coverup!
And, of course, Trump ran on "Lock Her Up!" And every conservative KNOWS that Hillary Clinton committed treason against the United States. Sold our uranium, BENGHAZI!!!, Clinton Foundation, etc. Yet, when Trump became president and thus controlled the DOJ, and Republicans took over Congress and thus had the power to launch countless new investigations, Hillary mysteriously remained free. As one staunch conservative explained it to me, NOBODY would move against her because of the blackmail material she has on EVERYONE. Blackmail material sooooooo bad that they're willing to let a traitor walk!
(I asked the guy who told me this if he felt any compunction about voting for people who have done things so horrific that they would rather sink the country than have their misdeeds come to light. No, he said, because the alternative would be voting for a Democrat.)
I have a fondness for the “contrails are toxic chemicals the gummint is trying to poison us with” conspiracy because during my time in Arizona a lady espousing it got elected in Showlow, a town named after a poker game. Pure Dave Barry level absurdity.
Great idea! I'd read a JFK III novel. I used to love conspiracy theories in the pre-Internet daze. Chick comics, hollow earthers, and UFOs. Ruth Norman's Unarius outfit was a particular favorite. A part of me still loves them, but it's a lot harder to laugh these days.
Sorry, I know this is kinda plain-vanilla compared to some of the truly hilarious shit out there, but did you hear how Obama had a meeting WITH HIS OWN ATTORNEY GENERAL on the tarmac of an airport in Nevada at which all sorts of criming was planned? It's true, I can show you the pictures!
My favorite remains the idea that fluoridated water is a Communist plot. It’s real old-school Bircher stuff, and I was frankly shocked and amazed that when I moved to Pennsylvania seventeen years ago that our community’s water … was still not fluoridated. Because obviously the Commies were just waiting for the good people of central Pennsylvania to have strong, healthy teeth. That’s how they get ya!
This isn’t necessarily political, but some Flat Earther went on the U Tubes to warn us about the Globalists, literally Globalists, who are brainwashing people into believing that the Earth is a globe by putting globes EVERYWHERES! If it weren’t for these meddling Round Earthers we would believe the truth of the geocentric universe.