52 Comments

Broke it down good, boy!

2 marks

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Don't know which is funnier, the idea of Boy Historian falling into the pond in the pitch dark (you know he would) or the Return of Doctor Strangejudge.

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I lean toward the continuing saga of the denizens of Cruelty Point.

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Given Roy's love of Jonah, this must've been, like, joyful to write.

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And our collective joy in the reading. I’m just glad Jonah lives to fright another day.

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Honestly, I'm a bit disappointed, given this is Jonah, I was expecting a trip-and-fall that smashes a glass case holding Hitler's skull.

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Suddenly for some reason recalling lyrics from the Dead Kennedys' "We've Got A Bigger Problem Now":

"Don't forget our house special, it's called a Trickie Dickie Screwdriver. It's got one part Jack Daniels, two parts purple Kool-Aid, and a jigger of formaldehyde from the jar with Hitler's brain in it we got in the back storeroom."

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Harlan Crow is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.

I watched "Eyes Wide Shut " a few weeks ago. This reminded me of that for some reason. This could probably use some naked women in masks. That was the best part of Eyes Wide Shut.

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Take off the damn masks! This here’s a mask-free zone, boyo!

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Suddenly I really want a Special Edition of EYES WIDE SHUT that features a Karen rampant, dressed for Was-Mart and bloated with the fruits of her research, striding into the sinister orgy and lecturing some nude women in a gazelle mask about how viral transmission protocols are a hoax.

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This was my third time through and I'm starting to kind of like it. I hated it before. I thought " This is a lot of work to see a naked woman in a gazelle

mask."

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All you need for naked women is some weed; it makes them giggle and take their clothes off, as detailed in the notable 1930s documentary "Marihuana: Weed With Roots In Hell".

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Link, please? I plan to Do My Own Research.

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I 'll ask for some of that at the dispensary!

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Harlan Crow has plenty of defenders! The best defenders money can buy, of course. Everyone he's given large checks to loves him.

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Oh - oh yes, I’m the great de - eefender (oo oo oo oo)

Defending whatever I feel (oo oo oo oo)

I loves me a judge who holds him a grudge

We’ll sort it all out on appeal.

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Nino lives! Hide your family and your groceries too!

How is it that Jonah didn’t fart like a foghorn once he realized he was the prey for the decent, honorable, august company’s fake Hunger Games? Maybe he’s developed some intestinal fortitude? Nah!

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The Most Dangerous FAAAAAAART

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Tonight’s episode: “Mein Führer, I Can FAAAAAARRT.”

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Run, fat boy, run!

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Actually, v. unpleasant to imagine, please forgive me.

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We gentlemen of enhanced adiposity do not run very well. It would have been more advisable for Young Mr. Goldberg to cast "Stinking Cloud" and grab a shotgun in the ensuing confusion.

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Ah now THERE'S a Pantload scene I'd love to see: Jonah frantically flinging fistfuls of crab puffs at a gimlet-eyed, shotgun-wielding Clarence Thomas while bleating "Lighting bolt! Lighting bolt! LIGHTNING BOLT!"

The Supreme Court justice's street sweeper roars, and Jonah collapses to the plastic drop-cloth he'd fail to notice covering the Persian rug, his death rattle a tiny, tuneless faaaart!

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This is how Jonah's world ends, first with a bang and then with a whimper.

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Making Goldberg run? The Cruelty is the Point!

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I liked Scalia dead.

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Me too! After all, it was Scalia's death that led to Merrick Garland not being on the Supreme Court and later being chosen as Attorney General, where he has done much fine work.

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“Those also serve who only stand and wait.” The Garland DOJ motto.

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and wait... and wait...

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Waiter!

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Check please!

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Actually, all this standing and waiting is making me feet hurt. You don't mind if I sit and wait instead? Ah, that's better... maybe just rest my eyes for a minute... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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No no no, it's Hillary and the Dems who're trying to live forever by draining the adrenochrome from frightened young children. Good Christian men like these know when their time is over, and pass quietly and gracefully to the foot of the Lord on his golden throne.

Right, Mr. Cheney? Mr. Kissinger?

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Me too. I feel like that's the period when he was doing his best work.

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You can't get more Originalist than "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust."

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Ha, I had forgotten that Scalia's death had occurred at some fancy-schmancy hunting lodge in Texas, an early clue to the Lifestyles of the Rich and Judicial not followed up on til Pro Publica began looking into Clarence's globe-hopping.

A look through the Wikipedia article on the owner of the lodge, one John Poindexter (no, not THAT John Poindexter) reveals "Poindexter started the Tidewater and Big Bend Foundation, dedicated to acquiring, restoring, landscaping and furnishing ante bellum houses and properties in New Kent County, VA, Charles City County, VA and Shafter, TX." So, you know, most likely a big fan of slavery. He's probably got a guy whose only job is polishing the shackles in the basements.

Also, "Poindexter holds a leadership position in the International Order of St. Hubertus, a hunting society" which brings us back to the original topic, doesn't it?

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author

"So, you know, most likely a big fan of slavery" oh def

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Totally unfair, suh. I'll have you know it is the charm and grace of the antebellum South, I said The South, suh, that leads him to preserve and glamorize those slave-holding pens. I bid you good day, suh!

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Starting and ending. The Tidewater was where the practice of breeding slaves for sale began (once tobacco had exhausted the soil), and the Big Bend and other parts of Texas and Louisiana was where they would eventually end up.

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Too unrealistic. As if Fat Tony would ever give up his power to distort the Constitution for the benefit of the worst people in the world. Now if RBG were the sacrifice, I could buy that. Instead of “Eyes Wide Shut” (bows head in memory of Kubrick), I hear echoes of “Kingsman.” Colin Firth would make a great Justice Roberts (and of course Danny Devito as Scalia’s ghost.)

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So is it inappropriate to be shrieking, "Do it Roy!. Do it! Blast that doofus motherfucker!" ?

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We all know Pantload would be required to apologize to them, if he survived.

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Aw, poop, I thought Dr. Strange was going to be involved.

CROW: "Invisible eye of AgaMULATTO, more like!'

(hearty laughter)

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Also, why do I keep flashing on the definition of Santorum?

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Ol' Scaley was considerate enough to actually expire ON my birthday - best present I got that year. Limbaugh came close, but missed by a few days.

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Dark Roy is the best Roy.

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