The best is the one Harry Carey wields as President of the Senate in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. A small cylinder of some hard substance (maybe ivory?) Carey only had to rap it twice on his desktop to bring the Senate to order. Because Harry Carey don't need no freakin' handle.*
*Somewhat related to yesterday's discussion about some men's need for compensation. Judging by gavel size alone, Harry Carey must have been hung like a racehorse.
I saw it this morning and it was so funny because yesterday on Lawyers, Guns and Money one of the commenters referred to him as Joe McCarthy. I'm keeping track and though as of today he has been mistaken for the junior Senator from Wisconsin and an 80s actor, no one has yet confused him with the '68 Democratic candidate for President.
My first thought was Breakfast Club, which would be perfect, because it's about a bunch of kids in detention, you know, like the United States Congress.
C'mon, it's Hollywood. They do that with CGI. Plus, Acting! I smell Oscar! Or maybe a Tony, if Roy finally cranks out that spec script to pitch to a Broadway angel. They still have those, right?
You know, gotta confess that I was a little bothered that the humor/dotard ranting ratio was out of whack here the last couple of weeks.
Then I see today's headline and think: Well, the reality cracks me up. So I'm prepared for yet another rant, but no, we get yucks. Bt what's bizarre is that the Kraven Kevin here is something of a straight man while it's the real one that's the joke. Life's funny like that.
I think of them as episodic manifestos. Someday you can put together a book and then in twenty years, the conservatives, who by then will be calling Trump a cuck, can start yelling about Edroso's Seventeen Principles of Radicalization.
"they are political essays, like the kind they publish in the Times"
Do you get a different version of the Times from me?
All I get is "Never-Trumper-okay-just-this-one-time-but-the-libz-made-me" confessionals, which I've always though of as "Dear Prudence, I never thought it would happen to me" psychodrama fan-fiction, not political essays.
I hadn’t heard about the investigation of Biden’s dogs. Finally, a witness less articulate than Jim Jordan! But how does a German Shepherd take the Fifth?
LOL swell. Rittenhouse is an inspired choice. He'd not only be second in line should the President and VP be incapacitated, he'd be the first Speaker who could actually make that happen.
"Obviously the assassination charges against me are politically motivated, and as the Supreme Court has ruled again and again, a sitting Republican president cannot be charged with a crime."
I'm a boomer, Roy. I have followed you for years. From back in the day when Facebook was cool. It's a safe space for me now because I'm a ruthless friend/unfriender.
We pay these damaged clowns 145,000 a year salary. They earn exponentially more than that off of the graft and corruption. Each one of them has a staff that cost us another half a million a year (per representative!) These people have found their dream job - making Big Bank talking shit on social media.
I have a couple of suggestions. Since it's the people paying for all the graft and corruption that really make out with their relationship with their representative- why don't they just go ahead and pay their salary too? They could at least chip in for the staff.
Never happen I guess- one thing we really could do though. How about we don't pay these assholes until they actually start working?
When you see what "working" means for a Republican-controlled Congress, you might change your proposal to "How about we pay these assholes to NOT work?"
Well done: and I didn't see that murderous little twerp Rittenhouse coming (although he has been prominent in your cast of miscreants..)
I am concerned about the removal of metal detectors from the Capitol. I expect a shooting within the year, seriously. The yahoos I happen to know who seek open carry want to pack heat to intimidate: and the MAGAts in Congress will try it, certainly.
And in the bad choices from the NYTimes, I see they've hired you ol' buddy David French...
I know one liberal who is mad at me because I won't resub to the Times.
Wondering how a "mental detector" would work in Congress. When does it go off? Is it: "No brain detected - danger!" or "Brain detected - danger!". Could see it working either way.
Not proud to say this, but I do read the comments, and there's a sizeable number of people who seem to be quite comfortable and wish everyone else would just settle down.
I only wish McCarthy would talk to these dipshits with that much confidence and authority. What he SHOULD have been saying to them back in December was "I'm Kevin McCarthy, bitches! And I'm all you've got! So either get someone else to actively run against me or shut the fuck up."
Instead, he demonstrated he's got the spine of overcooked linguini that everyone has always known him for.
I think we're gonna need a bigger gavel...
I suggest the inflatable kind that squeaks when you bang it.
The best is the one Harry Carey wields as President of the Senate in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. A small cylinder of some hard substance (maybe ivory?) Carey only had to rap it twice on his desktop to bring the Senate to order. Because Harry Carey don't need no freakin' handle.*
*Somewhat related to yesterday's discussion about some men's need for compensation. Judging by gavel size alone, Harry Carey must have been hung like a racehorse.
Update of a sort:
Matt Gaetz of Florida just voted for Donald J. Trump for speaker.
Ain't no gavel bigly enough...
And 3 are not voting at all...chumps...
All accounted for now. What a country.
Shark, jumped.
Andrew McCarthy? I'm confused.
No, I mean more than usual – knock it off back there!
Thank you, the typo has been corrected
Good lord, it read Andrew when I read the post and even as I was typing, it was corrected...
Technically, I think that's more than a typo. 😀
Hearted for "Technically,"
Please elucidate.
Using "Andrew" for "Kevin" is not merely a typo, with all respect to our genial host.
He'll play him in the movie
Yeah, but geniality gotta count for sump'm. Or are you raggin' on his genealogy?
God, no. Roy's sharp wit would castrate me in two sentences.
I blame autocorrect. I always blame autocorrect, and I'm always rihgt.
"It looks like you're writing a play!" says Clippy.
I saw it this morning and it was so funny because yesterday on Lawyers, Guns and Money one of the commenters referred to him as Joe McCarthy. I'm keeping track and though as of today he has been mistaken for the junior Senator from Wisconsin and an 80s actor, no one has yet confused him with the '68 Democratic candidate for President.
Melissa?
Let me know when we get to Charlie. Anybody's guess who's hand is up his back.
Meanwhile, McCarthy's Speaker keeps getting muted...
Wasn't he in St. Elmo's fire?
Something with Molly Ringwald?
(I'll be honest-I wrote all that to see if autocorrect would go with "Molly Ringworm".)
Pretty sure that needs correction.
Thank you, the typo has been corrected.
My first thought was Breakfast Club, which would be perfect, because it's about a bunch of kids in detention, you know, like the United States Congress.
I shoulda pretended it was on purpose
Mannequin is what I remember him in
Molly The Ring
Seven days after talking to her, you die
I can definitely see Molly Ringwald as MGT. Someone who actually saw Breskfast Club can cast the rest. Charlie Sheen as Kyle?
The problem is that, 80s movie aside, the Breakfast Club characters each had a soul.
C'mon, it's Hollywood. They do that with CGI. Plus, Acting! I smell Oscar! Or maybe a Tony, if Roy finally cranks out that spec script to pitch to a Broadway angel. They still have those, right?
You are THE best, Roy.
An thanks much for the Tweaker/Speaker bit
Now I can cross that one off my to-do list
You know, gotta confess that I was a little bothered that the humor/dotard ranting ratio was out of whack here the last couple of weeks.
Then I see today's headline and think: Well, the reality cracks me up. So I'm prepared for yet another rant, but no, we get yucks. Bt what's bizarre is that the Kraven Kevin here is something of a straight man while it's the real one that's the joke. Life's funny like that.
They are not "rants," they are political essays, like the kind they publish in the Times only correct.
2 marks!
I think of them as episodic manifestos. Someday you can put together a book and then in twenty years, the conservatives, who by then will be calling Trump a cuck, can start yelling about Edroso's Seventeen Principles of Radicalization.
It's a glorious future.
Epistemic many-fatsos.
"Time to stop suffering and write that manifesto!"
Mindfullness mantra for the moment: Manifest the many-fetched manifesto many yearn to read...
Fetch me my wretch!
Better than "Felch Jeck Welch"
"they are political essays, like the kind they publish in the Times"
Do you get a different version of the Times from me?
All I get is "Never-Trumper-okay-just-this-one-time-but-the-libz-made-me" confessionals, which I've always though of as "Dear Prudence, I never thought it would happen to me" psychodrama fan-fiction, not political essays.
Now more than ever! https://alicublog.blogspot.com/2023/01/the-winsome-witchfinder-moves-up.html
I still insist its an off-Broadway play, like something by Jules Feiffer or The Fantastiks.
You want rants? I'll give you rants!
Proper British ranter!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gljtvwhcdhc
I'm more of a Rick Mercer Ranting fan, but I was amused.
😂
How could the "humor/dotard ranting ratio" be out of whack when you rant here each & every installment, MM?
Flare, and balanced!
The other day I had some guy complain to me that I was doing too *much* humor. You can't win.
Humor me! Humor me more!!
I am a humor consumer!!!
Outraged perp, to Joe Friday: "I'm a taxpayer, I PAY YOUR SALARY"
Joe, laconically, "Yeah, and I'm gonna make sure you get your money's worth."
Did he do that with tears in his eyes and calling you sir?
Oh... I’m laughing too hard to breathe... wait... wait...
I was referring to the proprietor of this here fine Substack, not to us buttinskies.
We're lucky "Dead -Eye" Rittenhouse wasn't in town for January 6. This could be a whole nother country.
I hadn’t heard about the investigation of Biden’s dogs. Finally, a witness less articulate than Jim Jordan! But how does a German Shepherd take the Fifth?
Hearted for the articulation. The shepherd takes the 5th only after consuming the previous 4.
A Congressional hearing where the only question is "Who's a good boy?" could get tedious.
As a CSpan viewer of long, I would be willing to give it a try.
Also, when a German Shepherd takes the Fifth, prepare yourself for a tug of war getting it back.
LOL swell. Rittenhouse is an inspired choice. He'd not only be second in line should the President and VP be incapacitated, he'd be the first Speaker who could actually make that happen.
Lock, stock and two smokin' barrels
"Don't wait for your ship to come in, swim out and meet it" is an inspirational poster one MSNBC talking head has in the bookcase behind him.
Brilliant idea, swimming out in the ocean. What could go wrong?
"Obviously the assassination charges against me are politically motivated, and as the Supreme Court has ruled again and again, a sitting Republican president cannot be charged with a crime."
"As they have once again ruled by a majority of 5-1, three of the Justices having died in an unfortunate firearms accident."
Okay, didn't see that coming.
Enjoy the shitshow, folks. It's funny now, but man are they gonna fuck us all. Gonna miss democracy.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, let's give it up for Miss Democracy!
There she goes – Miss Democracy
Shabby clothes – did she steal the sheets?
What's up with that torch – won't a flashlight do?
Standby alert for the fire crew
Watch it now – she's turning green
EPA'll respond to her oily sheen
And look out for that spiky hat?
What's up with that ??!!"
I'm a boomer, Roy. I have followed you for years. From back in the day when Facebook was cool. It's a safe space for me now because I'm a ruthless friend/unfriender.
Ruthlessness is a necessity these days.
“He walks again by night!”
Still waiting on that pizza, hold the anchovies
We pay these damaged clowns 145,000 a year salary. They earn exponentially more than that off of the graft and corruption. Each one of them has a staff that cost us another half a million a year (per representative!) These people have found their dream job - making Big Bank talking shit on social media.
I have a couple of suggestions. Since it's the people paying for all the graft and corruption that really make out with their relationship with their representative- why don't they just go ahead and pay their salary too? They could at least chip in for the staff.
Never happen I guess- one thing we really could do though. How about we don't pay these assholes until they actually start working?
Those "backroom" deals? Let's make 'em "back alley"!
When you see what "working" means for a Republican-controlled Congress, you might change your proposal to "How about we pay these assholes to NOT work?"
How do you tell a damaged clown?
Sensible shoes.
>>> You caught the car but none of you know how to drive.
Nice.
Well done: and I didn't see that murderous little twerp Rittenhouse coming (although he has been prominent in your cast of miscreants..)
I am concerned about the removal of metal detectors from the Capitol. I expect a shooting within the year, seriously. The yahoos I happen to know who seek open carry want to pack heat to intimidate: and the MAGAts in Congress will try it, certainly.
And in the bad choices from the NYTimes, I see they've hired you ol' buddy David French...
I know one liberal who is mad at me because I won't resub to the Times.
He thinks the NYT Pitchbot is unfair...
Hearted for "mental detectors".
Oh.
Never mind.
Wondering how a "mental detector" would work in Congress. When does it go off? Is it: "No brain detected - danger!" or "Brain detected - danger!". Could see it working either way.
"No brain, no detect!"
Brain and brain! What is brain?
(Periodic reminder that Inspector Gadget's dog/sidekick is named "Brain".)
Can you specify the periodicity so I'm prepared for it next time?
What are we going to do tonight, Brain?
Same thing we do every night Pinky!
Try to take over the world!!11!!1
Had to check and make sure I didn't fuck up again.
Maybe what I meant to write was "mental defectors"...who can tell?
"He thinks the NYT Pitchbot is unfair..." Now that's committing to the bit!
Leave the New York Times ALOOOOOOOONE!
When Liberalism becomes performance art. (And as with all performance art, the question remains: Who is the audience for this shit?)
Not proud to say this, but I do read the comments, and there's a sizeable number of people who seem to be quite comfortable and wish everyone else would just settle down.
That is the classic NYT commenter in a nutshell.
Maybe I should drop in there more often and shake it up a little.
Haiku, maybe (they're not ready for my limericks!)
At 1500 comments per article, it's like pissing in the ocean.
I only wish McCarthy would talk to these dipshits with that much confidence and authority. What he SHOULD have been saying to them back in December was "I'm Kevin McCarthy, bitches! And I'm all you've got! So either get someone else to actively run against me or shut the fuck up."
Instead, he demonstrated he's got the spine of overcooked linguini that everyone has always known him for.
Actually I think that's his argument. But I agree your tone of voice would make it more effective!
Substitute penne and I'd agree...
Once again, Roy's version is smarter than the real thing, because The Drama Demands It.
Why not the kid? HOUSE is in his name, right?
Kyle RightWingHouse
John Houseman?
Dr. House?
Norman Niblock House?
Old Man House Phone? (that one's for Knowledge Fight fans)
"two open boxes of pizza"
Ha! This is the sort of error made by un-American left-wing coastal bubble communists.
America's speaker wouldn't be seen with anything less than Chick-Fil-A in one hand and a gun in the other, since they removed the metal detectors!