108 Comments

I failed to look to the link @ "Oh shit. My Ferraris!" and assumed it was just another delightful euphemism...

2 marks for the bait/switch.

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And stop that chortling!

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You know the cliche, "my mouth fell open in shock"? Well, m.m.f.o.i.s. when I saw those Ferraris.

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The price on those is absolutely insane, but they don't look that bad. I'd think of Poopmouth as more of an Oakley kind of guy, though.

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My dad gave me some Farraris. But they were only $5 at Lewis Drugs in Sioux Falls SD (they were foldable at the bridge!). Not the best pair I ever owned and they broke after a short while. I showed them to my girlfriend at the time and she asked me how I felt about Dad giving me sunglasses that were obscenely expensive. I asked her how much she thought they cost, and I was shocked, then highly amused when she said $5000 or something on that order. I was amused because I remember seeing them at Lewie’s Lift-a-Gift, as we called the store, for .1% of that price.

If the expensive version of those shades are as cheaply constructed as the ones I had, Poopmouth could have saved a bundle. Maybe he should go to Sioux Falls for a replacement, if they still got’em.

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I bought the AD&D game at the Lewis Drug Store in Yankton

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Attention Deficit AND Disorder

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I'd be indignant at this, but I can't remember what you said...

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Shiny Object!!!

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Trump is trying and he’s getting very close but he still hasn’t topped Caligula, who made his horse a Senator. Of course, the horse did have superior moral fiber when compared to Trump’s nominees/appointments.

Love Peoni’s outfit this week, but she would have worn pumps, not sandals.

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For extra credit, discuss the differences between greige and taupe.

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It's a trick question. There is no difference, lol.

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I dunno, I think there is merit in defining the distinction between them. Taupe is darker in hue, the Neiman Marcus Akris greige is the pastel version.

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"Greige" makes me angry. I can live with taupe. Even though I once heard it pronounced" Taw- pay" kinda rhymed with Shar Pei, which I once heard pronounced "Sharpie" as in "Hand me that Sharpie, I need to adjust this storm track"

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Foreign languages, how do they work? Asking for America.

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And yet we keep snarfing words from them!

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and vicey versey.

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Neither gets to use the pool at the Country Club.

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Unless cleaning the pool counts.

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My horses are smarter than Maga.

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Can you get that bar up to ground level at least

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At least they won't be trying to upstage the President in public like these MAGA fools will.

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I was gonna drop here a "Younger Than Springtime" thing here but I didn't get past

"Smarter than MAGA are we

We clop our hooves to count 3"

and then it all falls apart...

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For Trump nominees, sex scandals and abuse of women aren't bugs; they are features.

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"With his controversial appointment of..."

Fun fact: Fake Tubby hasn't appoint anyone yet because he's not in office yet. He's announced he will appoint the numerous pieces of shit. Slight difference but as we saw with Gaetz, no one's actually been appointed. It's just kayfabe. Yet again, with a few exceptions, these characters will just be, well, kayfabe, with the bad stuff being done by lower appointees, off camera as it were, while the media focuses on the bullshit.

Anyway, speaking of greige: so I get a pair of gym shorts from Amazon, one gray and one that can be called grayn and I have sooo much trouble telling them apart. I mean, what is it with these neo-shades? And speaking of shades, I refuse to believe people would be seen in public wearing Poopmouth's Ferraris. Of course, as a repeat purchaser of Warby Parker knockoffs...

Anyway, good post. Just shortly prior to reading it I was wondering whether mockery of these subhuman vermin (and worse) can still be a basis for humor and, well, today's post dodged that bullet...

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Manqueman got shorts!

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Selling a pair of sunglasses for $13,695 is consumer trolling at its finest.

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Few greater good in our neoliberal material world than pissing away that kind of money on hideous sunglasses.

(signed (again)) A happy repeat purchaser of Warby Parker knock offs

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I suppose it's a way to recycle the money, otherwise the rich would have to just sit on bags of the stuff. No way they'd share. At least this way a pittance trickles down to the serfs.

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Any dumbass who buys $14k sunglasses deserves to step on them by accident.

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Also for most of the posts, Trump doesn't appoint, he nominates. Until he uses the Enabling Act to seize absolute power and dissolve Congress

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My point there is just semantics and stuff. He’s not nominating because he’s POTUS-elect, not POTUS, and the current Congress will be the former Congress when he chooses to pass any nominations to the coming Senate. Me, I’m going with getting his Congress to recess so he can just go the r3cess appointee route. Otherwise, no doubt a few of the fuckers are sacrificial lambs to be sacrificed for worse. The current crop’s advantage (with a few exceptions) is that they’re great for the kayfabe crap. But as long as everyone — voters, media — are distracted from what’s going on that matters, it’s all good.

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Actors Who Enable oughta be ... I dunno ... stifled, or something...

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To be fair, Congress is already so dissolute that dissolving it the rest of the way will be easy peasy.

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How in the hell do you find these clothes?!?!

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Inquiring minds and all that.

Maybe Roy's day job is as fashion editor?

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or an accountant for Fashion Wearhouse

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Without this newsletter, I’d have gone through life ignorant of those el jefe sunglasses. Not to mention “greige.” Worth every penny.

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When we get trolled, we troll back better!

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I like the Hunter pardon although it deprives us of the pleasure of seeing his case thrown out because Aileen Cannon decided special prosecutors are unlegal. Interesting that for Nate Silver, “changing your mind” is the same as lying. Must be part of the general trend toward making everything and nothing a lie, the ultimate entropy death of morality brought to us by the Republican Fascist Party. Orwell would be impressed.

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Degenerate Gamblers are people you can depend on !

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Nate Silver's still around, is he?

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I got news for K$H and his buddy Vivek Ramalamadingdong - Maga don't see " Good Brown People and Bad Brown People. They just see brown people and hate them all. If anything they hate Asian Subcontinent brown people more than most because they've all had horrid, life-altering run-ins with Indian call centers.

Maybe we're supposed to feel lucky he hasn't nominated Laura Loomer for anything.

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Yet —

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My understanding is that Secretary of BJs has been open since ~2000

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Dec 2Edited

Every Bolt Upright “uh-huh” response to Peoni kills me for some reason. Excellent as usual, Roy.

Also, props for Chafe’s outfit. Looks like the worlds most expensive circus clown.

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Though it sounds like someone's been spared the sight of Jordan Peterson's recent outfits.

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I clicked on the necktie, thought it might be the ONE article of clothing I could afford. Ha.

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Roy knows his audience...

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Roy wasn't kidding about the panel's "actual Hillsdale/American Conservative magazine/ISI chucklefuck." The link is YouTube podcast, John Burtka on "The Gateway to Statesmanship."

Burtka as guest on "The Kevin Roberts Show" (aka: USA 2025.)

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I know! I was shocked too. Fortunately on the sidebar was :

Shillelaghmaking - this is an info dump / tutorial. Learn the lore of Irelands most revered stick, the shillelagh.

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Trump's cabinet has more felons and sexual predators than you can shake a shillelagh at! (that's probably what YouTube's algorithm was thinking, the algorithm always has its reasons.)

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Luckily it wasn't .............that you can shake Hunter's pecker at.

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I thought Ireland's most revered stick was the Hurling Stick or Hurley

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I thought it was the tallywhacker.

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Come Mr. Tallyman, tally my banana

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2 marks for alla yinz ^^^ an' yer sticks!

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Why write satire when reality hands you a novel?

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Is there a German word for a book worthy of pulping?

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This reminds me of an art project I never got started: Giant papier-mâché dog turd made from the pages of cut-up copies of Liberal Fascism.

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That's OK. It already was made into art (by the late, lamented reasonable conservative). https://jonswift.blogspot.com/2007/06/jonah-goldbergs-shining.html

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Blabbing about "uniting the common people". I got your "unity" RIGHT HERE.

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"Burtka's Burkas! Buy now and save 40%!"

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But branded for the Hillsdale flavor of talibangelism.

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Statesmanship done left the dock, wandered out into the harbor, collapse a couple bridges and set off a 13-alarm fire at the oil terminal...Burtka gonna hafta take Metro.

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lolsob... the unfortunately real John Burtka, in that WSJ link (up to the paywall):

[quote] America is great in no small measure because it is beautiful. Donald Trump appreciates this and in December 2020 issued an executive order promoting classical architecture for new civic buildings. “Societies have long recognized the importance of beautiful public architecture,” Mr. Trump wrote. The Founding Fathers “wanted America’s public buildings to inspire the American people and encourage civic virtue.”

Mr. Trump and the incoming Republican congressional majority have the chance to ensure that every federal agency is fit for this purpose. They should start with the four federal art and cultural organizations that directly shape American society: the National Endowment for the Arts, the National Endowment for the Humanities, the Institute for Museum and Library Services and the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. As detailed in a Nov. 19 report from the Intercollegiate Studies Institute, of which I serve as president, these organizations funnel more than $1 billion per year to initiatives that routinely range from profane to inane. [end quote]

Shadrack Dominelli? "They told me *I* would be the nominee"? Touché, Mr. Ed Roso!

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"...range from profane to inane."

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet our new Poet Laureate.

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Insignificant culture warrior power attached to the title, but the nom might be his consolation prize.

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A billion dollars a year! OMFG!

So in 2797 we'll have spent as much on the arts as on just the 2024 Pentagon.

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Whoa, whoa – slow down buddy...that's less than 400 years from now!

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(Not gonna lie, I thought "Shadrack Dominelli" was the left tackle on the Boston College Eagles back in the 70's or something.)

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Shaddyrack was that low-budget, low-life comedy flick for kids too slow for Caddyshack.

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Bovril: When Marmite isn’t disgusting enough.

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Interestingly, i was fed marmite mushrooms on pasta this weekend and it wasn't bad. Bovrill ...brings back memories.

Mostly of terrible British novels post 1930.

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"...phumpher!"

I thought it was "rhubarb?"

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Whatever the term, the proper syllables to actually say are "peas and carrots, peas and carrots."

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Peas and carrots, carrots and peas

The happy hand's the hand that's greased

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2 veggies!

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"what appears to be a razorback hog".

HARRUMPH! Now looka here Boss Man, you leave our college football mascot outta this. Uncle Tusk (https://arkansasrazorbacks.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/FbvsaGNX0AIr9kp-2.jpg) has had a hard enough year as it is, what with getting beat in the last two minutes a couple of days ago. Dissin' my team, dissin' my kinfolk, Roy, I hardly knew ye....

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That hog just fell in with the wrong crowd. His momma tried to warn him about those college kids.

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Hog doesn't seem to have a plural noun, which is a shame.

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Well, obviously 'Hogs', but if you mean the collective noun, it's a sounder of hogs.

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Thanks, you knew what I meant better than I did.

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Wasn't Sounder a dog what died on the TV?

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Yes, but it's not like dogs don't often have crazy ass names. Ol' Blue wasn't blue, Old Yeller didn't yell, and Ol' Trailer wasn't a mobile home.

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Old Yeller was yellow colored though

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Having spent more than a bit of my misspent youth visiting pals up in Fayetteville, well, you have no idea...

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(Could have been worse. Could have been a Texas Longhorn.)

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I am eslightly amused that a longhorned Texas steer has 2 horns, so when you call it a Longhorn you are implying it is a horn short. "The Longhorns", signifying more than one steer, works OK, but a Longhorn is defective.

If'n ya gots any criticisms of this here logic, my office hours are Never, and, on Wednesdays, Nope, not Ever.

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Horns so nice they grew 'em twice!

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Sad to say, I was. For two weeks. Then I said fuck this noise and came on home.

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There was an upside. I CLEPed out of my entire freshman year, then took the Organic Chemistry test and CLEPed out of that as well. After I determined the scholastic levels were shit and every Goddamned last one of them was a jerk, I requested dismissal. "Oh that will take two or three weeks". As if, bureaucracies are my bitch. Provost approved it that very day. Wish I hadn't lost my framed copy of the single sentence, he's outta here and good riddance.

All my credits transferred to my hometown college, where I should have been all along, what with Mom being the purchasing agent for 20 years and knowing all the teachers and staff anyway (I got my college library card in the seventh grade). And with discounted tuition, cheap cheap cheap ($800 a semester). Lived four miles away, usually bicycled. And so, a week into the semester, I walked into System/370 Assembler class, taught by the dad of one of my close friends.

Couldn't take being away from home in such a boring ass place, though Austin itself was a really nice town. I was stupid. "Easy Like Sunday Morning" still destroys me after all these years, that being the song played on that Sunday morning I left for Austin. Really bad mistake, but it gave me a huge amount of appreciation for my hometown.

ETA: Not to mention there were several lovely young women who were overjoyed to see me. Tears and the whole bit. Boy, was I stupid.

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or a Tauros (which is an attempt to bring back the Auroch)

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Bolt is surprisingly, and pleasingly, even-handed. (You've got him saying "Bolt?" when he should be saying "Chafe?" Although by now, if he's talking to himself on camera, who could blame him?)

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As in, "Bolt? What have you done with your life?"

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Don't know why I thought of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Yj-zmG73Tc

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I'm so tired.

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Please take care of yourself, you signed up for The Duration.

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I'm genuinely surprised that Donald Trump, who has broken approximately 99.99% of all the promises he's ever made, has decided that RFK Jr. is the ONE man for whom all promises are to be honored.

During the campaign, when RF(ucking)K Jr. was boasting that he'd be made King of All Healthcare, I'd chuckle knowingly and think, "Ha ha, sucker, he's gonna dump you like a Miss Teen USA contestant who just turned 18, just for the pleasure of fucking over a Kennedy."

But no, R(at)F(ucking) gets what he wants. Who knows why? It can't be that Tubby has any genuine interest in health care, not even a genuine interest in destroying it, his interest in public health doesn't even rise to the level of "Burn it all down." Why, dear God, WHY?

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To paraphrase the Mads, "HE'S EVIL! EEEEEEVIL!"

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So exciting to see what particular form the EEEEVIL will take this week (gee, thanks, price-of-eggs voters!)

I suppose I'll spend the next four years saying, "Well, I expected him to be evil THIS way, but instead he's being evil THAT way? How puzzling!"

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He's heavily invested in Phoenix real property?

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