151 Comments
Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

So much for my cockeyed optimism -- I had hopes the slimness of the majority they held might -- MIGHT -- constrain them. But I forgot first principles: crazy gonna crazy.

It does amuse me that these goobers are trying to turn Hunter Biden's laptop into something akin to the Lost Ark of the Covenant -- all knowledge resides within, all questions answered, all mysteries solved. Let's hope they get their hands on it and meet the same fate as their Nazi heroes in the Indiana Jones movie.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

One is reminded of Geraldo Rivera and Al Capone's vault.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

House Republican computer experts examine Hunter's laptop:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2uHBhKTSe0

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Remind me. House republican computer experts, that's the "The internet is a series of pipes, it's not trucks" guy? And the guys who keep calling microphones "machines"? And the guys mad that google allows them to see porn sites they searched for?

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Not just those guys, also the "Chinese thermostats are conspiring with Italian spy satellites to fix our elections" guys.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

The funny thing about Hunter is that pretty much all the truth has been out for a long time.

But, you know, look what they have to pander too...

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

If there was anything criminal to get, it would've been gotten. It will be amusing to watch them pretend to be shocked that well-connected people get what amounts to highly paid no-show "jobs" on corporate boards.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Looking forward to "Hunter Biden had no qualifications for that board position" from the folks that are hoping to bring us Senator Herschel Walker.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

When Trump was pressuring Zelensky to launch an investigation into the Bidens, he didn't care what the investigation would find, or even that there was an investigation, he just wanted a headline, "Biden Investigated by Ukraine."

Same here. Their base will take "investigated" as "proven guilty" and they don't give a shit what anyone else takes from it.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Repubs used to sneer at the Clinton administration for being the "Most investigated in history!"

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

The one really good thing about the Scoundrel: pissing off the reps.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

The U.S. State Department during the Joe McCarthy years was the most investigated State Department in history.

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Well, when you spend five or six years desperately looking for something, ANYTHING to bash together an impeachment on, that's gonna happen. It's the inverse of Trump, who was pretty much justifiably impeachable on 1/21/17.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"The truth is whatever we say it is." (Rethuglicans, obvs.)

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Nov 18, 2022·edited Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"I had hopes the slimness of the majority they held might -- MIGHT -- constrain them."

If there are four Republicans who don't want to impeach Biden, then Biden doesn't get impeached. If there are four Republicans who don't want to shut down the government, the government doesn't get shut down. There's our constraint. If the Republican caucus is only 98% crazy, we'll be fine. But at 99% crazy, we're in for a wild ride.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Actually, they’ll be constrained from doing much substantively. Some budget crap but predicting what or how much is beyond me. Otherwise, just proving what awful POS they and their party are.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

If there are four who don't want their families harassed, death threats on the daily, Proud Boy types with assault rifles following them around...

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Yeah, should have said crazy/terrified.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Hearted for the maths.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

It's a compulsion, can't help myself. Although I wish it extended to our friends in the media. How hard would it be, New York Times, to check if there's four non-insane Republicans or not? Do some arithmetic now, you can do the "What does the future hold?" pontificating later.

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No, better... more like the original Tron... imagine Jim Jordan in a Day-glo bodysuit & futuristic bike helmet, hacking at Bidenware-Corp defensive systems to access the tantalizingly-out-of-reach Motherland-board, fighting off enormous flashing 8-bit pixels with his patented Jim moves...

Ewww...

On second thought.... please don't...

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*envisioning Jordan as the player sprite from the TRON video game, getting swarmed by those damn spiders as the "fail" music plays*

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Okay, I was being ideologically obscene yesterday, so I probably just have to shut up and like this, even though it will haunt me later.

I feel like you and I could get together and spend a night becoming impaired and increasingly appalling while we laughed ourselves sick. It... kinda sounds like a good time to me.

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Nov 18, 2022·edited Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

This will be yet another Q-brand Nothingburger on the order of Durham and "Spygate", but I'm sure they'll find SOMETHING to yell about, even if they have to call up the shade of Linda Tripp.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Yes, just look at the years of Fox News headlines they got out of the Durham investigation, when the whole thing fizzles it's a one-day story if they cover it at all.

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You're thinking is too linear, MGT has already got McCarthy to promise hearings on how Nancy Pelosi controlled the cops on 1/6 and is personally responsible for torturing the 1/6 guys in jail. Oh, please, please, Please don't call Nancy Pelosi to testify in front of MGT, she won't be able to refute MGT's geometric logic and be totally DESTROYED! So please, don't do that. Please.

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I got a new spell, so I'm gonna see if I can't make this happen. I have popcorn.

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She's got a new spell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2rmQJDN1nU

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Haven't listened to that in a while. My partner used to sing it at me. (My other partner went for "Uptown Girl" which was pretty funny, considering.)

Thank you.

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It's a great song that I was pretty sure you liked, and most importantly it fit the comment

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Nov 18, 2022·edited Nov 18, 2022

There's a new disinfo tactic called "false framing", which is having a title that screams "Nancy Pelosi BREAKS DOWN IN TEARS under 1/6 questioning" and then the video it links to is Chuck Grassley talking about corn subsidies at an agriculture hearing. Seems to work because nobody actually watches a video before sharing. So, I'm sorry to say it will matter not one bit how Pelosi handles herself under questioning, or even if she shows up for questioning at all. They've already got the headline written and the C-SPAN footage of a Senate Appropriations Committee hearing to link to it.

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https://youtu.be/Vu4BrzxfpUM

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Yeah, that'll work too, whatever. I don't care who picks the video as long as I get to pick the headline.

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Crazy is literally all they got. They've got to run as fast as they can to stay in place now. Roy is gonna be hard-pressed to keep up, let alone stay ahead. To quote noted political scientist Al Jolson, "you ain't heard nothin' yet ".

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Assuming Professor Al was wearing blackface when he said that, because it would make him the perfect spokesman for our new Republican Majority.

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you forgot that other 'i' in slimness.

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The slimmer the majority, the more RepubliCons will act like it was the landslide of the century. When Democrats win in a landslide, the "liberal media" announce that they barely squeaked through and need to "reach out to the other side."

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When the Democrats won back the House in 2018, what we heard from Pelosi and other Democratic leaders was that we had to moderate our policies to protect those swing districts we had won. Gaining more seats meant doing less, because the seats you gain are on the margins and you can't trust you'll hold on to them next time. I'm totally sure Our Friends Across the Aisle will take the same approach.

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Nov 18, 2022·edited Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"feats of upper-body strength”

Jesus Roy- this is hilarious.

I'm beginning to get a sense that my favorite satirist may be a bit "Thank you Jesus " giddy about working with the upcoming House leadership.

I look forward to the results.

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I am admittedly ambivalent about the lack of details on the witchcraft amendment. Considering how much they yell about hating witch hunts, there could be some issues.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Shirtsleeves Jim Jordan grilling smart people - I hope it’s broadcast uncut nationwide. As pro wrestling shows, America needs a daily smack down and Jim’s the perfect fall guy.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Sadly, it'll be just you and I and a few others watching. But sign me up.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

If there's a Anthony Fauci-Marge Taylor Greene bout scheduled, clear my calendar. You get the feeling Fauci looks forward to it as much as we do.

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Nov 18, 2022·edited Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Spend a lifetime in government service, this is your reward. I wonder if that isn't also part of their intended message: "Don't study immunology and then go work for NIH, kids, when there's a fortune to be made in bitcoin!"

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Having done all they can to destroy the profession of teaching it's time to move on to public health:

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/18/opinion/teachers-quitting-education-crisis.html

And, while teaching has always been plagued by low pay, the final straw that drove many teachers out was merely "performative", the "groomers in the schools" nonsense that DeSantis and others have been pushing.

What I see is a very long-term program to denigrate any form of public service, to encourage people to look to the private sector instead of the government for a career, and it's working. It's effective, even though a lot of it looks like a dumb show.

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A back-door path to their plan to fire every public servant and replace them all with loyal Party members.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

They don't care so much about the party membership thing, really. This is simply part of the long term project to re-assign all the ill-taxed wealth currently being wasted on public health/education/property/infrastructure, etc to the private sector grifters already in line to receive it smugly and self-deservedly...

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I'm a (newly retired) Fed, and yes, this has been the plan all along. It's like the Pendleton Act of 1884, which was enacted for a reason, no longer matters.

TFG was guilty of multiple violations of the Hatch Act; giving his 2020 acceptance speech from the White House being the most egregious. Nothing was done.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Congrats for retiring. Everyone should retire, sez I, irritatingly...

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I'm still amazed they managed to keep Trump from deciding it would be a bright idea to just announce he was getting rid of all non-republican federal employees. Normal people know that shit's illegal, but Trump almost certainly thought it was a brilliant idea nobody'd ever thought of before because he's a fucking genius.

Getting back to long term planning, I'm getting paranoid enough to think teaching kids masturbation was wrong was a deliberate play to create a race of petulant, entitled, bitter, angry incels who lash out at society because we never taught them to self-soothe before we gave them access to guns.

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Multiple fortunes! Over and over again, between losses.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Numbers don’t lie, unlike MTG, and Fauci has shown in his dealings with Rand Paul that he’s a master of the politely exasperated put down when faced with a self important delusional moron. He v. MTG would be worth losing an afternoon hike for.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Sorry, I know I'm being a wet blanket, but Fauci could absolutely take MTG apart, and still the message the whole sad spectacle sends to that grad student studying virology is "Take that job in Big Pharma, at least you won't be subject to public badgering by morons." Then, years from now we can all wonder why nobody wants to work in public health, just like we're now wondering why nobody wants to go into teaching.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

You say we can ALL wonder...but if it all works out their way a considerable portion of us will be illiterate or dead...

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"Why water now full of poop, huh?"

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"We smesh together ol' clothes! Cause me got sewing machine, we pedal with feet! Cause no electric! Cause all bomb! Me make wood gun to fight, an' me fight you! You no good! You no good!"

https://alicublog.blogspot.com/2006/08/reynolds-universal-robots.html

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The heel, so to speak

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

With Fauci as the face.

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Sans doute, mon ami

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I'll bite: Witty as this post is, what are the odds the reality will prove yet more amusing?

(Yes, I know, there's bad shit coming for many but that's pretty much from SCOTUS. The harm this session will do is pretty limited.)

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

For various definitions of "amusing" most of which are bad.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

As I just said, bad from the House is limited, real damage has been and will be coming from SCOTUS.

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Other than that, Mrs Lincoln...

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Yeah, really.

But no one’s doing shit about SCOTUS, did seem to have been a big issue leading up to the election. Meanwhile, nearly whatever the Rs do in the House will be performative.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Yeah, I remember a similar "Bad for America, good for comedy" reaction after Trump's election.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

The House of the Unhinged have a shit ton of constraints that Trump did not have. Or weren’t used on him. This House is extremely limited on what they can do besides what’s performative without support from the Senate or POTUS.

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Performative is what it's all about baby!

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The "optics"! The "optics"! 'Cause THAT'S what matters. Off to the Potemkin Village Diner to chew on the menu, because, you know, the menu IS the meal...

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"the menu IS the meal..."

Isn't that Marshall McLuhan?

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author

That's the challenge!

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

😂

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

When you say "challenge", do you mean in the same sense as young people eating Tide Pods?

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Maybe it's the cowpox that inoculates the voters against the smallpox of voting Republican in '24.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

A pox 'pon yer House!

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Who controls the Republican Party? Trump.

Who controls Trump? Putin.

So the investigation into Hunter Biden's business dealings will absolutely show that Hunter (and thus Sleepy Joe) had/has a corrupt relationship with Ukraine. Therefore, the ONLY reason the US is sending massive amounts of armaments to Ukraine is to keep True Truth Warrior Vladimir Putin from uncovering the True Truth that Biden is protecting himself and his son by bribing the Ukrainians to not spill the beans.

Therefore, the United States should stop sending arms to Ukraine and start sending arms to Russia. Especially our most advanced and still-secret arms.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"and still-secret arms"

Ha ha, I believe that's already been taken care of.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

To my mind, it is a valid question as to just how many of the Republican members of Congress are on Russia's payroll.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

The attraction that American fascists feel towards Russia is interesting. I think part of it is that Russia sits at the nexus of "Majority white population" and "Authoritarian state". Not a lot of countries meet both requirements. As for the "White" part, I'm convinced right-wing men hold a notion of Russian whiteness (and blondeness!) based on Facebook ads for Russian brides. Out of such things, an enduring pro-treason coalition can be built.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

TL;DR It all starts with the wanking.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Forget not the Church. The Orthodox one (which translates tidily to "Absolute Authoritarian" and snugly gloves the hands of our domestic god-botherers).

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author

"The attraction that American fascists feel towards Russia is interesting." I take your point, but a lot of it is just money. Putin pays his agents. Grifters can smell such an opportunity. https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/house-majority-leader-to-colleagues-in-2016-i-think-putin-pays-trump/2017/05/17/515f6f8a-3aff-11e7-8854-21f359183e8c_story.html

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Vladimir Vladimirovich I, Tsar Of All The Russias, The Trumps, And Most Of The Republican Congress

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Yeah sure. Y'all can laugh now but you just wait until they point that debt ceiling AR-15 at the entire economy and pull the trigger. Fox'll have the oldsters in the streets demanding their Social Security and Medicare be cut. Then it's repeal and replace the whole Constitution, libtards. Oh, and by the way. AR-15 stands for "Anti-Regime" and the famous 15 words. H'yuk.

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That's "Fourteen Words"

#annoyingpedant

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Fourteen in the magazine, one in the chamber.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Oof.

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It -was- 14. In my fantasy right wing loon-world, they added a word, so it now reads: "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for STRAIGHT white children."

(I only did it for the AR-15 gag -- I'm surprised they haven't done it for real.)

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Just like WD-39, the AR-14 was SO close to success.

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Impeachment is dead in the water once it reaches the Senate.

As for the House, I suspect it will be mostly smoke and mirrors as long as Democrats remember to abide by the new "Responding to Congressional Subpoenas is Entirely Optional" policy established by Republicans. i

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Nov 18, 2022·edited Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Oh, don't I wish. If you look at how Democrats have responded to this new Republican fad of refusing to concede a loss in an election, it's to note with pride all the times when they've conceded graciously. "We're really good at conceding! Not like those other guys!" becomes part of the Democratic core identity. Likewise with subpoenas, I suspect we'll see compliance with a quickness, as a form of Democratic virtue-signaling.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

“Sure, I’ll get around to testifying before your committee as soon as I get this ‘honey do’ list of home improvement projects done.’”

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Counting down to the first Republican "Defund the Police" bill. "Police" in this case being the FBI and Justice Department and all those new IRS investigators the Democrats hired.

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a bill calling for April 20th to be declared ... Should have been April 1st.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Yeah, but April 20th is Hitler's birthday, as well as Unofficial Marijuana Appreciation Day.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Isn't Hitler-Shot-Himself-In-The-Head Day just a little bit after that?

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Nov 18, 2022·edited Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

EVERY DAY should be "Hitler Shot Himself Day", as an example to the Fourth Reich wannabes. "Strike yourself down and you become more powerful! Just like Obi-Wan!"

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I remember a poster: Hitler sprawled on the floor, Luger at his side and blood pooled around his head, with the title "Follow Your Leader."

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Some days, when I'm feeling down I cue up the last half hour of Downfall just to cheer myself up. Never fails.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

April 29th IIRC

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Good to know, that gives me plenty of time to do my Hitler-Shot-Himself-In-The-Head shopping.

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Hats, I'm guessing.

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New decor for your bunker?

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AND the anniversary of the bombing of the Murrah Building.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

So Hitler was a stoner? And who appreciates unofficial marijuana?

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We all would have been better off if Adolph had been a pothead. It would have been a lot shorter Reich with him climbing up on the map table to see if there were pilots in the little planes, and wandering off in search of whatever the hell the 1940s German equivalent of corn chips were.

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Sir, have you never seen the original “The Producers”?

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I feel MTG sponsoring a "National Day of Anti-Wokeness" or some such booshwah is pretty much inevitable at this point.

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Nov 18, 2022·edited Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

That's when we parade anyone with a college education through the town square, each with a typewriter hanging from their neck. The group eyeglass-smashing comes at the end.

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Then they empty out the cities, marching all of us who aren’t dead yet to years of hard labor building up a new and glorious white Xtian homeland. What a sight! The Golden Gate Bridge, the Bay Bridge, teeming with dejected elites trudging off to meet their destinies. Soon thin won’t even be fashionable any more.

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Year Zero of the Specific Group of People's Glorious Counter-Woke Revolution. Plenty of room in the dis-education camps.

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"How many continents are there?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure there's sev-" THWACK

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So I managed to get some bigot ejected from twitter yesterday. In a single day. The report form was glitching so I each item individually. Guy was gone in about twelve hours, and yes I checked. I'm pretty happy about this one, because he was trolling strangers in seriously ugly ways, and he kept bitching about wokeness. Which means getting deplatformed is almost certainly ruining his whole day, and Elon has fucked it up enough I'm not sure you even could start a new account now. It's been my strategy for harvesting twitter bully tears for a while now.

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What sort of a potion can you make from Twitter bully tears?

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You have any idea what you can do with *toenails*? Now imagine those toenails are symbolically and physiologically linked with distress. A distress caused by not being able to abuse people for their perceived minority status. That shit is a literal evidence of a moral violation. It's a mark of transgression. It's very powerful in spells. Also, it's delicious in oolong teas.

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I should have read the thread before I posted the same!

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Gosh, I can't WAIT until they dig up the ground around the White House, looking for the Secret Satanic Sacrifice And Adrenochrome Processing Facility Tunnels!

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Nah, too lazy. They'll just "discover" the DC subway system and slap an "Underground Pedo Tunnel" sign on it.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I'm still west-coasty and late-waking, so missed the unveiling of today's opus, but damn:

"Roy Edroso Breaks It Down has been made privy"

C'mon, you cheapskates! A subscription might mean the difference for Roy getting indoor plumbing!

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Also, am I the only one who knows never to be caught within the frame of a photo op with any of these jamokes? I mean, just look at 'em – they might be nice, semi-literate people (I know, I know, but just stick with me) but they are universally and perpetually condemned by the camera to look as if they are contemplating how it is their lives devolved to be stuck in that moment...the despair, the alarm, the dejection...

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

The whole damn country has been made a privy to these guys. Get yourself an umbrella, and don't look up!

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Off thread: I’m in the Barnes in Philly which is to art what the Grand Canyon is to nature. I may never leave.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I'm overdue for a visit.

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The Barnes & Barnes?

(Fish heads, fish heads, roly poly fish heads...)

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Nov 18, 2022·edited Nov 18, 2022

April 20th...

I think I see what you did there, but I can't tell if you are calling attention to their sanctification of HH's birthday, or if they are just higher than Musk in a moonshot...

Edited to add: Serves me right for not reading all the comments first...I promise to reform and do better*

*Nah.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Now I've finally got to the end of the post, all I can say* is

2 MARKS!

*All y'all know me better than that – the * was just to get yer attention and make you snort coffee out yer nose a little...

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" “special half-Congressional commendation” to Griff “Gut-Punch” Irgang, a personal trainer Greene met at the most recent CPAC."

Griff will be more thrilled than he was by his daydream of applying his monicker in real life to the now down-stepping Speaker...

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Given their 218 to 217 majority, it's more like half-half-Congressional.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Not sure about the outcomes yet, but if 218 it is, then imagine the clamoring over each other-ism that will occur as the performatives strain to be The One what gets 'em over the top of each and every theatrical bill-voting extravaganza...the circus don't just come to town – the circus done come to the nation!

The Capitol dome is just the Big Top now...

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Every Man a Manchin!

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Yep. It's like the rake factory exploded and they're laying everywhere now.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Isn't expected to be more like 222 to 213, now?

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Sorry, can't do fractions where the denominator is bigger than single digits.

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Nov 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Shit, so now we need FIVE non-insane Republicans to keep Biden from being impeached. Fuck, we'll never make that number.

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As Frank Sinatra sang in Guys and Dolls, "She wants five children to start, five is a difficult point to make."

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