26 Comments
Oct 16, 2019Liked by Roy Edroso

"Do you suffer from weak stream? Does urinating take longer than defecating? Now you can pee like the king with our exclusive Trump solid-gold* catheters! Convenient, disposable, and effective, these solid-gold* catheters will let you drain your swamp in the style you should be accustomed to! Order now and receive a Trump University diploma AND a set of Trump Steak Knives!"

*Cathetersnotmadeofactualgold.Simulatedgold-finishplastic.Cathetersnotsterile,useatownrisk.ProductofMexico(hecheenMexico).

Expand full comment
Oct 16, 2019Liked by Roy Edroso

Not to take anything away from your skills, Roy, because this is genius stuff, but the fact I could envision half of these shows as viable conservative programs pretty much says all that needs to be said about where we are right now in this country. Jesus Christ.

Expand full comment
Oct 16, 2019Liked by Roy Edroso

What in the wide world of what the fuck did Redstone find to talk to Trump about for an hour? Did he just give a solo presentation of his standard campaign rally logorrhea? Did he refrain from tweeting the whole time? Was there pussy grabbing? Maybe Roy should fire up the Trump Theatre engine and see what comes out.

Expand full comment

I hear Trump has no trouble filling up the conversational space, telling a single story three or four times.

Expand full comment
Oct 16, 2019Liked by Roy Edroso

[read in Yoda voice] The Mad is strong in this one.

Expand full comment
author

High praise indeed! Thanks

Expand full comment
Oct 16, 2019Liked by Roy Edroso

(Saturdays and Sundays feature How To Cheat At Golf by Presidential Caddy Hack Hackerson; the rest of the weekend is rebroadcast Russia Today programming.)

Expand full comment
Oct 16, 2019Liked by Roy Edroso

Roy. Does your imagination know no bounds, sir?

Expand full comment
author

Only one way to find out!

Expand full comment
Oct 16, 2019Liked by Roy Edroso

Mike Judge, huh? Did he fall off the wagon after 9-11, or was he never really on it?

Expand full comment
author

I like Judge, he's talented, but he is what he is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Goode_Family

Expand full comment

OMG I missed that one somehow. It’s like he visited Seattle and lost it. FYI I love Seattle)

Expand full comment
Oct 16, 2019Liked by Roy Edroso

I enjoyed this bit, it was funny. But more than that, I thank you, Roy, for the reminder that Roger Ailes (not the good one) is in hell. It just brightens up the whole day!

Expand full comment
author

It *does* brighten up the day, doesn't it?

Expand full comment

If only he'd lived long enough--and *just* long enough--to see the repulsively authentic make-up job they did on John Lithgow in Bombshell.

Expand full comment

"The Good Ones," aka "Roseanne's Angels." Superhero team comprising Allen West (black, but one of the good ones), Michael Savage (Jewish, but one of the good ones), Milo Yiannopoulos (homosexual, but one of the good ones) and George Zimmerman (Hispanic, but one of the good ones) takes assignments from Roseanne Barr to hunt down practitioners of evil Identity Politics. Occasional guest appearances by Mohammed bin Salman (Arab, but....)

Open to alternate cast suggestions.

Expand full comment

In a cartoon world where murder manifesto star Candace Owens appears with her new hubby (son of multimillionaire Baron Lord Michael Farmer) to condemn liberal elites and Hunter Biden, your work to maintain satire on life support is brilliant and much appreciated. What's even more nuts is that any one of the shows in your imaginary pitch would decimate Fox's ratings.

Expand full comment

This should be your new Thursday joint, sez I. This well isn’t going dry anytime soon.

Expand full comment

This feels like another one of those over-the-top parodies that is destined to be overtaken by reality before you can blink

Expand full comment

... and I thought Sarah Palin was wacky.

Expand full comment

Highly amused.

I wonder, though: Would a Fox News rip off be more valuable to CBS than CBS News? Not that CBS News is anything like it was in its prime.

Expand full comment

This was pretty funny and mainly because how much it hews to the actual Fox viewer profile.

Expand full comment

A classic of the genre, although classifying only the Midnight to 5AM block as "Porn" feels arbitrary, especially since newspaper jargon ("hed to come", "nut graf", "burying the lede") long ago led Cletus to believe all journalism is porn.

Expand full comment