30 Comments

"I regret that I have but one upvote to give in the service of my country."

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Apparently the Times wants me to feel sad about the good Americans in the heartland suffering from their leaders' murderously inept response to and/or lack of interest in responding to the pandemic. (https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/14/business/coronavirus-small-towns.html) Again, as an Old Testament guy, I accept the need of sinners to be punished, not forgiven. And those small town guys with their decades of putting the traitors, murderous, America-hating GOP pieces of crap in power deserve at the very least a rude awakening.

As for the deranged wing nuts in Ohio and Michigan, all I can say cops never get shoot to kill orders when needed, it seems. One can argue that a peaceful demo that calls for exacerbating a public health emergency is by definition not peaceful.

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Stands, slow clap.

As I said, what we have here is a bunch of over-entitled Steves and Karens pissed off that there’s no sports to watch and no nail salons open. The struggle is real.

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TFW you realize they want *you* to die for *their* "freedumb".

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It scans. And you can dance to it.

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As one who among other things teaches poetry writing for a living, I know how unbelievably hard it is to write something like this and have it scan. Roy is now officially my Poet Laureate Of The Web.

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It must be. I'm always amazed at how many people re-lyric songs (or even try to write limericks) and JUST. DON'T. GET. THE. RHYTHM. RIGHT. (Roy's is perfect.)

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In John Updike’s 1963 review of 𝘔𝘢𝘹 𝘪𝘯 𝘝𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦, a compilation of doggerel by the famous essayist, this closing passage occurs:

****

…On the copyright page of his first book, 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘔𝘢𝘹 𝘉𝘦𝘦𝘳𝘣𝘰𝘩𝘮, Max found the imprint:

London: ᴊᴏʜɴ ʟᴀɴᴇ, 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘰𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘺 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘥

New York: ᴄʜᴀʀʟᴇs sᴄʀɪʙɴᴇʀ’s sᴏɴs

Beneath it he wrote, in pen:

This plain announcement, nicely read,

Iambically runs.

The effortless a-b-a-b rhyming, the balance of “plain” and “nicely,” the need for nicety in pronouncing “iambically” to scan—this is quintessential light verse, a twitting of the starkest prose into perfect form, a marriage of earth with light, and quite magical. Indeed, were I a high priest of literature, I would have this quatrain made into an amulet and wear it about my neck, for luck.

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Harry Lewis died while working in the service of his lord

He was trampling-out the velvet where the drapes of Roth are stored

He had the finest funeral the union could afford

But his cloth goes shining on

And of course the inspired clumsiness of:

I have seen Him in the watch fires of a hundred circling camps

They have builded Him an altar in the evening dews and damps

I can read His righteous sentence by the dim and flaring lamps

His day is marching on

And, please: it's 'Let us _die_ to make men free' [emph. mine]

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Allan Sherman was the greatest!

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The pathos! The humanity! Won't someone think of the children?

The BPOE and "furthermore I'm white" line ties with "well, that’s just too bad for him" line for prize winners

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awesome. and funny.

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Terrible, swift, and swordlike. Brilliant.

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*snif* 's beautiful, man

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Between this and whatever wag came up with “moron lube,” it made my week!

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"epidemiologists" Take that, W.S. Gilbert!

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Hilarious. Cleveland: where the apes of wrath are bored!

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author

Ha, where's that from?

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Whaddyamean? I made it up. Or at least I thought I did. A Google search tells me that there was a Bugs Bunny cartoon (because of course there would be) called "Apes of Wrath" in 1959. So my brilliant mind is on the cutting edge if you subtract about 60 years.

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Wait until they start bringing their guns to these shindigs. That will be like a Cherry on top of the Freedom Sundae.

I have lived in Ohio my entire life and I swear up until a month or so ago I could not imagine Mike Dewine capable of doing anything right or decent. He has done a good, sane job with this. He had to pull some abortion fuckery - they do that without thinking, but on everything else pandemic, he's been fine

It will seem interminable for sure, but I got to say, more and more I'm convinced we won't have to wait around all that long for this problem to take care of itself.

" The Democrats will burn in hell for slavish overreach.

We can tell that we'd be well if we could just drink bleach -

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So I'm sitting here writing up an interview I did yesterday with an Air Force general. It is deadly dull work, weaving the general's bio into the interview and trying to draw a rich 3-D picture of someone I had all of 30 minutes to speak with.

And then THIS lands in my in-box.

I will now have to take an early lunch break because there's no way I can go back to writing that article after reading this (which, incidentally, should be carved on the tombstone for American society--right below "Died of a Theory").

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Oh my god this is worth way more than $7.

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Different pics from the 7 a.m. to the one on my email at about 11. The one with the real Buckeyes is scarier.

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author

I got that off Twitter, but then I heard a pro did it, and I didn't have time to ask permission. Also it helped me see who got delivery and who didn't.

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"I wanna go back to Michigan,

Where a feller can be sick again.

I know that I can pick again

To be an ass in Michigan!

"I slept through my biology.

And chemistry was Greek to me.

Just give me some theology

Like all those guys on my TV.

"But if I start to feel low,

You know I know where I will go.

I won't call on Sean Hannity,

I'll sign in at emergency.

"So if you see me near your place

Without a mask upon my face,

It's just my rights that I defend,

To be an ass from Michigan1"

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