116 Comments
May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

I got real pleasure from the fact my home borough, the place that gave the world the Bronx Cheer, said “thanks but no thanks, asshole” to Trump. I’ve seen larger crowds than that at ticket stands in Times Square.

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But.. but... I heard he's gonna win New York! I read it in The Hill! They said "Donald Trump says Donald Trump will win New York." You can take that one to the bank, libs!

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To the Bank of Trump, newly incorporated in Paraguay.

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"You give us all your money, and we'll hold on to it for ya..."

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OTOH he can't get a fair trial in NY because any possible jury will be biased against him.

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I half-expect Trump to whine, in private, "How can I get a fair trial if I'm guilty?"

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"But but but I get TWO scoops of ice cream when everyone else gets ONE."

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Donny Two-Scoops...the good ol' days!

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Well, we know what his definition of a "fair" election is.

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Truly, he is a mystery wrapped in an enigma packaged inside an unseemly orange conundrum. As all habitual liars are, minus the orange.

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The kitty distracted me as I was reading this, and I misread it as "an unseemly orange ~condom~"

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2 belated marks!

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Yes, because they know his crooked ass, and his little father too!

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The Hill reporters really need to wipe the smegma off their chins.

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Smegging smegheads!

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

I wonder how many of the glibertarians who booed Trump will also vote for him come November? I'll bet it's most of them if not all of them.

Just like all these old-line stand-up Republicans who have said publicly that Donald Trump is manifestly unfit to hold office, and that he represents a direct danger to the country . . . but they're going to vote for him any because the alternative is a Democrat. Looking at you Billy Barr and Niki Haley. And probably Chris Christie as well.

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

Libertarians are just pretentious Republicans who like drugs.

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

And teenage girls.

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

De rigueur. The age of consent is tyranny.

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How are they gonna BREED properly if they can't do it at peak fertility?

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

And are male who have not progressed emotionally beyond pubescence.

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

Absolutely. A non-white male libertarian is basically a black swan event. The only exception I'm aware of is Megan McArdle, and she's an android.

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I misread that last word as "putrescence", but that works, too

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Hey now. I am not a Libertarian

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

I wish somebody would pull a Choitner and ask those Republicans "can you expand d a little on how Biden would "destroy the country" as you said. What would be different from the last 4 years?". Then sit back and hit "record".

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

The answer is always "Everybody knows how." Next.

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

Ah, but they say the last four years were awful.

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

Well sure. You know why. Everybody does. If Joe Biden was a Republican he would’ve been executed, per Tubby. On what charges? You know. We all do. No need to explicate.

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Something something Ukraine

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Oh! And "something something inflation open border", even though A) the border always is quiet every time some GOP dope goes down to check it, and B) there's ample evidence that a lot of the inflation has been due to corporate shenanigans as they continue to ensure their profits are obscene rather than merely ridiculous.

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Poor people made more money. That right there is a Libertarian Party foul

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Lots of poor people make more money now -- heck, some have joined the middle class, FWIW. But some of those people, and many of the people they know, will never admit that Biden and certain policies have anything to do with it. I guess their bootstrap-pulling finally worked in spite of Biden's efforts to, I dunno, glue the boots to the floor.

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

Every time Biden comes to Wisconsin, which is frequently, the Wisconsin Republican Party releases a statement, which the folks at Spectrum news read blank-faced to the camera: "Failing Fentanyl Border-Crisis Biden and his desperate-losing inflation-Fentanyl Border-Crisis campaign..."

I imagine the response would be something like that.

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

You forgot “Hunter” and “dementia.”

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Desperate-dementia-Fentanyl-Hunter-Border-Crisis-loser-Biden and his desperate-losing-border-Fentanyl-Hunter-crisis-dementia campaign came to Wisconsin today...

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May 27·edited May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

Former Green Party member here, if you're in it deep enough to actually go to the convention, you're in for the full ride, nothing less than Ron Paul will do (or whoever the fuck their nominee is this time.)

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

What could be less than Ron Paul?

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Rand Paul

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It's Pauls all the way down.

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Bravo! Well done.

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I don't know. Assuming the Libertarian candidate makes the ballot in their state. The attendees of the Libertarian Convention would seem likely to vote for the Libertarian candidate

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May 27·edited May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

"Two-pack"

That's great in about four different ways.

In real life, they would have really shot the intern and taken care of the body in an acid-filled hot tub, Steve Bannon style.

It was weird, cheering for the libertarians. It's going to be hard for me to accept them as not completely worthless. Still, if I had a golf cart or an ATV I would run over them at every opportunity .

Good post.

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One can do both

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

"Yay! Yay! Oh, that one looks like he's moving, better hit him again!"

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

Just be sure to thank them as the wheels grind them into the dirt, and hope your golf cart doesn't sustain any damage.

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I'm still stuck on the image of the cart, trying mightily to gain traction as it struggles to make it up and over your average lump.

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In real life, they would have really shot the intern and taken care of the body in an acid-filled hot tub, Steve Bannon style.

or to Kristi Noem's gravel pit

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

A great holiday week. Not just the Bronx and libertarian rallies but the fake photos and videos: the Bronx with palm trees and footage of a Biden welcome attributed to Trump. Fits right in with the Rio concert photo as proof Trump’s team is shameless - and not very good - at gaslighting the rubes about their führer’s popularity.

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

Their incredible incompetence is the straw I'm desperately hanging on to at the moment.

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

I'm holding out hope that the GOP convention, produced by Lara Trump, will be an epic shitshow.

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We MEANT to do that! Consider yourself OWNED, libtard!

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Ohhhhh, guaranteed.

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May 27·edited May 27

Also general repulsiveness. There, that's TWO straws.

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May 28·edited May 28

And the deliberate appeal to the worst in everyone, leading to the worst in outcomes. THREE! Three straws!

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

Whenever I visit my relatives in the Bronx, it’s always a pleasure to once again see the palm trees and the wandering flamingos, and to order a Mai-Tai as I lounge in the in-pool bar…oh, wait.

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

When we had the big protests against union-bustin' Scott Walker, Fox News ran a clip that showed someone getting punched at a protest, claimed it was from Madison. And yep, palm trees in the background (turns out it was in LA.) After that, some folks started showing up at the Capitol with inflatable palm trees.

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AI has been recently mocked for getting things (arms, fingers, etc.) wrong, but who's to say that the Neuromancer in the matrix didn't add that palm tree as a fuck-you to Tubby?

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Everyone is aligned against him...everyone loves him...everyone is aligned against him...everyone loves him...everyone is aligned against him...everyone loves him...everyone is aligned against him...everyone loves him...everyone is aligned against him...everyone loves him...everyone is aligned against him...everyone loves him...everyone is aligned against him...everyone loves him...

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Norman, coordinate!

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Is it naive to wonder if maybe he knows that everyone who IS aligned against him is a decent person, and everyone who loves him is either an imbecile or a cynical careerist? It is, isn't it.

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author

Never forget that for his True Believers, the fakeness of these images is part of the appeal. The statement is not "Trump was grilling with his best friends the Bronx Blacks," but -- as someone once said -- "we create our own reality." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reality-based_community

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May 27·edited May 27

Yeah, we fall into the trap of pointing out how it's an obvious lie, and that's... somehow... a big WIN for them, because they got us. Don't you feel gotten?

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Like all those extra COVID deaths in Florida really showed us, by Gobbs.

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I DO forget that, and it gives me a sad. But can't libs/Dems/normal people exploit that? By, e.g., circulating a photo of Trump standing on the moon, claiming to be the first man on the moon? If your enemy reveals one of his main weapons, isn't that an invitation to attack it? I forget who said that--it was either Sun Tzu or me.

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That was you. Sun Tzu said "Just read Wonkette and get back to work".

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You are Karl Rove and I demand my country back

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It's in the mail.

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Yeah, it somehow serves the dual purpose of being both a flex (we create our own reality) AND a self-soothing delusion (suck on it, libs). I'll frankly admit I have no clue how to combat it, or if we should even try.

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Yeah, it's moments like this I feel like it's all a dumb game of Calvinball and I don't even want to try to learn the ever-shifting "rules" and even less to make an effort to "win" whatever the fuck that might mean.

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

Yeah, Roy, thanks EVER SO MUCH for making me think even vaguely about King Toad's crotch at 9 am. Yeeeurgh. 🤢

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King Toad's crotch lies a moulderin' in the grave...

(Sorry, I watched Red Badge of Courage this weekend)

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His stench is wafting on.

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It gives me a laugh thinking of his cartoon mushroom.

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

I wonder what would be in a swag bag from the Libertarian convention?

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

Definitely not condoms.

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

How DARE you impede the FREE MOVEMENT of my spermatazoa! Free the Spermatazoans!

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Sure, that, and there’s no need.

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Not unless we start regulating tube socks.

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Most of these libertarian guys can afford animatronic girlfriends. Or at leas waifu pillows.

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"The kind of guy who calls his Fleshlight 'bitch'" is a classic Edroso line.

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A drummer friend of mine once said, "What's the definition of an optimist? A trombone player with a beeper." Similarly, "a libertarian with a pack of condoms."

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"What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?"

"Homeless."

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Yeah, yeah...As a drummer I resemble that remark.

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Makes me think of my favorite play, "No Time For Sergeants" (Yes, I have zero taste). "Well, this farmer had these fourteen daughters who were studying to be trombone players..."

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I didn't know it was a play. Max Shulman!

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2 everlovin' marks.

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I'm of the humble opinion that 60-70% of men on the Right AND Left consider anything that interferes with their egos, dicks, or convenience to be a Bad Policy.

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Aren't egos and dicks redundant?

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Well, if I had to give up one...

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Let it go, man...

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To Republitarians, condoms, like consent, is tyranny.

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FREEDOM!!!!!

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Freedom's in the bag, but you're obligated to let it go, if it doesn't come back IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH.

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Then you hunt it down and kill it.

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May 27Liked by Roy Edroso

Reading about that convention, for a hot second I was proud of the Libertarians. Then I was reminded that one of their pet causes is getting the Silk Road guy out of prison. (Priorities!) Then I remembered with full force that they suck balls every which way.

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Our friends at Reason are on it:

Trump, Who Wants To Execute Drug Dealers, Promises To Free Ross Ulbricht

https://reason.com/2024/05/26/trump-who-wants-to-execute-drug-dealers-promises-to-free-ross-ulbricht/

And one thing I noticed when I google-newsed this thing, the reports are mostly from CoinDesk and CryptoNews and other low-rent websites. Trump promises to free a major drug dealer and the New York Times and Washington Post stifle a yawn and go back to the crossword.

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Normally when he talks about drug dealers he means ethnic minorities and Mexican cartels. Like when he says shoplifters should be shot on their way out the door.

But as usual, any discussion of his utterances involves more thought than he put into them.

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Well, I'm sure if Biden showed up at the Green Party convention and promised to free Mumia Abu-Jamal, the Times and Post would find nothing newsworthy in that either.

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"Desperate Biden torpedoes failing campaign with promise to pardon cop-killer"

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“Oh you know how he is. He just talks like that. Nobody takes it seriously.”

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Bingo. It's the NY Times Trump Exception. Part of the "hard-hitting" coverage they give to BOTH sides.

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Interesting - in a not-interesting way - that the Libertarians wouldn't pick as their cause célèbre some young Black guy imprisoned for selling drugs on the street. Nope, gotta be White College Boy sellin' drugs on the internet because everybody knows internet drugs never hurt anybody.

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See, that Black guy only accepts the Matrix's false "real" money, but the White kid will let you use Bitcoin and ETH and all those wonderful non-fiat FREEDOM exchange systems! (Unless, of course, the value tanked overnight, or someone stole your virtual wallet when you clicked on that email link, or the techbros offering that particular coin packed up and fucked off to Paraguay with everyone's deposits...)

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Except Queensman's deposits. Nope. Nope. Nope.

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Please use the magazine's full title: (Lack Of) Reason.

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Raison D'être an Asshole

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Raisins d'Extra

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Two Scoops!

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Two Marks!

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Bring Me the Head of Ludwig von Mises

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You are on fire today. Bravo!

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Let me be the last to say...OOF.

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May 28·edited May 28

...aaaannnnddd...

I just reviewed yesterday's body of work, and realize I hearted every. damn. thing. As I was several hours on the road from Rochester yesterday, I appreciate the job of work alla yinz put in, and regret not being here in the moment.

Anyway, carry on, y'all.

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You had me going there for a minute.

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