64 Comments
Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Beauty, eh?

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I’d like to see the Fox News’ hosts start to relabel their heroes and villains the Freedom Caravan and the Migrant Convoy – just to mix things up a little bit. They might get confused about who’s coming from the north and who’s coming from the south, but they’ll never lose track of who’s white and who isn’t.

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"How am I ever going to keep these whites clean?" Tucker Carlson is known to panic-sob over laundry.

That somebody else does...

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Too cheap to buy color safe bleach for his own Klan robes. . .

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Caravan v. Convoy is like a Battle of the Bands between Dizzy Gillespie and C.W. McCall.

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They probly both of 'em like some manteca from time to time...

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Boy, that took me back. It was exactly like Doug and Bob used to be. Thanks for the laugh.

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

If Roy's going to start mining old SCTV episodes for material, this opens up all sorts of possibilities. Ted Cruz as Count Floyd?

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author

Very scary!

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Like Floyd, desperately trying to play up the scariness of something that's not actually scary. Critical Race Theory instead of Dr. Tongue's House of Cats.

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

You Hosehead! You’re a comedy writer TOO?!? I give up. But first I have to stop snorting coffee out my nose. (All out of Red Cap)

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"We're the Freedom Convoy and we're all about the freedom! The government has to do what we say!"

Yeah, well, we had an election about this and your side lost. Majority rule, so we keep the mask and vaccine mandates.

"Just because we're the minority doesn't mean we don't have a say! We want our voices heard!"

Oh, so you think minorities should have a voice? That we need to pay attention to minorities?

"No! No! I didn't mean it like that! We shouldn't pay attention to THOSE minorities, just THIS minority of White guys like me!"

Uh-huh.

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

It's simple, really. The votes of Red-State Americans count for more, because they take up more acreage (look it up, it's in the Constitution!). Likewise, your vote counts for like 3 or 4 regular votes if you drive a really big vehicle. I'd have to look it up, I think it goes by vehicle weight class, but I'm no expert on the Canadian constitution.

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Yeah, and we can hear you just fine thru your mask, sweetcakes...SO PUT IT BACK ON FFS!

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Majority rule?

I vaguely remember something about it but isn’t it illegal??

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These guys were my first foray into international relations -- and think of it: without them, there would have never been the Kids in the Hall nor Letterkenney...

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Ohhh..., callback to SCTV...

Anyway.

Freedumb; one our great exports. Up there with profoundly corrupting of democratic states and, of course, Jim Crow and genocide to Hitler. Latter, together with Wall Street support for Germany, likely sent Adolph the idea that he could get away with it, after all, he was going to crush the Russian commies for us so how could abuse (then worse, of course) of minorities be any problem?

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Feb 15, 2022·edited Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Truckers are just another bunch of people living inside of a bubble. Inside the bubble they get told by the voices on the radio they're the most hardworking underappreciated worker man in history doing the most dangerous job anybody ever heard of.. nobody loves them , everybody's trying to screw them .Turns them into assholes. Like with cops.

This whole thing's pretty much bullshit anyways. No way a company driver can take the Walmart truck out to the demonstration. Walmart knows where their truck's at every single minute of the day. If they are an owner operator they're probably tied into some shady lease deal on the truck it keeps him on the road 7 days a week just to make the payments. It's all obviously just some obnoxious Street Theater paid for by some half-wit billionaire with more money than sense.

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Yup. Truckparkers are just goin' thru the motions. Oh, wait...thru the motionless...thru the stasis...thru the immobility...

And anyway, RCMP gets ahold of onea those monster forklifts from the port, and those truckparkers are in for the ride of their lives...

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

My guess is that the average person's appreciation for our hard-working truckers just took a nosedive over the past couple of weeks.

That's why I have mixed feelings about the cops kid-glove treatment of these miscreants. To anyone who's seen how the cops take on a lefty protest, it's infuriating, for sure. But the cops refusal to act just gives these knuckleheads more time to wear out their welcome and REALLY piss people off.

Like when the U.S. Capitol Police refused to take dangerous White people seriously, so they had a chance to get inside the Capitol, smear their shit on the walls, and show all of us how serious the threat of fascism is.

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Pardon an attack of Nietzscheanism (got these horny things growing out of my arms and everything) but it suddenly struck me that it's weird that near-universally people seem to take working too hard and being underappreciated and doing dangerous work as signifiers of virtue, or at least of being someone to whom other people ought to listen.

Through most history, doing that stuff and being in that condition was taken as a sign that The Gods Or Whoever had it in for you, so don't expect us to care what you say, or at least don't _brag_ about your disgusting condition.

(As I said, an attack of Nietzscheanism.)

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author

Whatever you do, don't blame capitalism.

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How can one? There is no alternative.

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They pay for everything with "hard-earned" dollars. The hardest thing we have to do is walk out to the mailbox to get our ezy-money checks. Not even that with direct deposit.

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"Hard-earned" dollars. Which they place in their pocketbooks. Later, they sit at the kitchen table to talk about how to spend it.

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Sorry I didn't work "lunch bucket" and "hard hat" into that, must be slipping...

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They're downtrodden.

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Woe is us, we the downtrodden!

And this rough twisty road we are troddin’

I thought we was tops!

But turns out we are flops

Yet our minds we refuse to enbroaden

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Re-electing the pols responsible has been working great for them and the nation.

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Apparently very few of the trucks are big rigs. Our awesome media just love photos of the big rigs. If that distorts coverage, we’ll…

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Yeah the Bluewater Bridge approach was blocked by a line of...pickups. If anyone was truly endangered by that blockage, a post hammered in the ground and a simple comealong woulda solved that.

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

(There's always Labatt's if they get thirsty and desperate enough)

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I think you're on to something with the beer phone. And in honor of Roy's Oscar series, I think I'll fire up Strange Brew for un certain regard consideration.

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author

Love that picture.

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Canadian version of Jr. and Eric.

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I wondered if I was the only one who visualized the two of them reading this.

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

With a bottle of shitty Trump wine replacing the Molson.

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Remember back in the day when he said his wine was the best because it came from the world's biggliest winery? Good times...

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When we're talking about the size of his apartment, I guess the rule is "divide by three". I don't know the exact Factor of Exaggeration for wineries.

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Once you infiltrate the industry you'll get it. Comes with the terroir...

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Just gonna assume it's somewhere between the factor of 3 he uses for apartments and the factor of 10 he uses for his man-meat.

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Sort of, except Moranis and Thomas wrote and played Bob and Doug as, deep down, good people who had genuine affection for each other and other people. Sure, they were dim, but they weren't assholes.

Their 1981 album is a classic. I have their version of "The 12 Days of Christmas" on my holiday playlist. Also: their hit single "Take Off" featuring Geddy Lee on vocals and my favorite deep cut, ""The Beer Hunter"--check it out.

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author

I think Bob and Doug acquit themselves well here. Hell, I've taken a whiz on a guy's lawn when I was faced, too.

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Eh, I watered a convent lawn once.

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Now I want donuts for breakfast.

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Eh, get lost, ya hoser!

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Echoing the praise for 'Molson Phone'

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That was excellent eh. Very much appreciated that you let them do the rest of their routine, too.

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Feb 15, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Parking Convoy and Canadian Girlfriend are classics.

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